


Bulletproof

by Maiihemm



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Abusive Ex, F/M, Shitty Father, Someone stop me, Sons Of Anarchy - Freeform, crazy irish, finished fic, if Jax had a sister, oh well, probably needs more editing, second story I ever wrote, too many tags, what is family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-11
Packaged: 2019-10-07 21:57:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 43
Words: 136,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17373977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maiihemm/pseuds/Maiihemm
Summary: Savannah Morrow didn't grow up around the Sons. Clay and Jemma made sure of that. After she is saved by her brother Jax, she has to learn how to get over her rough past and learn to be a part of the club.





	1. How Did I Get Here?

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally posted on a different site. I am working on moving all of my stories on here. It is completed, though I still would love to hear from anyone with ideas. I would be open to doing one shots if you like the depiction of the characters within this story! :)

I'm really not sure how I got here. I mean, I literally know how I got here. That sounds so cliché. Every move, decision and mistake has pointed me right in this direction. How the fuck did I made so many mistakes though? Wasn't I supposed to make a better life for myself? That was literally the whole point in leaving Charming.

Gemma would kick my ass if she saw this.

Who am I? My name is Savannah Morrow. Yeah. That Morrow. Never heard of me? That's because Gemma and Clay sent me away when I was little. They figured a girl would be far too delicate to grow up around the Sons of Anarchy.

They sent me to live with family in Arizona. I grew up pretty well I guess. Safe home and safe neighborhood. They sent plenty of money so I never really went without. They would come visit every now and then and bring Jaxson with them. Even though Jax is only a half-brother he was the only one I have.

Gemma hid away while Jax's dad John was in Belfast. She was sleeping with Clay behind Johns back and I guess that's where you end up with me. I never met John and I'm not even sure that he knew about me. Not that it really matters. I don't even know Gemma and Clay that much. They have kept me at a distance and from what I know it's because they do some really fucked up shit. Gemma calls me about once a month to make sure I'm alive.

She called me from Belfast earlier today. Apparently some stuff happened and my nephew was taken. I didn't even know I had a nephew. She filled me in that they would be back soon and she wanted to come see me.

I don't know how I'm going to hide this from her. Bruises on my arms and legs are totally passable as me being a klutz. This black eye was going to be an issue though. It's brand new and already black. Great. Guess I'm calling off work again for a few days.

Yeah. The great Gemma Teller-Morrow's daughter is a bitch. See why she would be disappointed in me if she knew?

I met Adam two years ago during my junior year in college. He was so sweet to me. Always complimented my eyes and made me feel like the world was at my fingertips. I graduated from college a semester early and top of my class. I was going to head to PA school but Adam convinced me to start working at the hospital in the administration department to "give me a break from school." We moved in together and everything was great.

For about a week.

This black eye isn't the first one and I'm sure it won't be the last one. Why the fuck do I stay? No really. Why. The. Fuck. Do. I. Stay. I don't even believe his promises anymore. I know he won't change. I know he will hit me again tomorrow after he's had too much to drink. Maybe I'll look up at him at the wrong time. I mean today was due to the fact the internet cut out during a bad storm. Apparently I'm the goddess of fucking storms.

"I'm so sorry baby."

Oi. Here he goes again. He's so sorry. He will never hurt me again. I know he loves me right? Baby please forgive him. I just need to listen to him better.

Jesus Christ this is getting old. So why am I here? I literally have nowhere else to go. I'll just take a shower or some shit until the alcohol takes hold and he passes out. Same shit different day. Maybe someday I'll get sick of it and leave. Nothing I can really do about it now until I grow a set. At least he isn't trying to "make it up to me" by whipping his dick out. There is no way I can say no without a good beating.

This shit sucks.

* * *

"Clay. You need to go see her. I called her today when we got back and she sounded rough."

"Gem we sent her away for a reason. Now is not the time to get her involved."

"I just have a bad feeling my baby isn't okay."

"I can't leave the state right now. Too much shit going on. I'll send Jax and Happy down there."

"Thank you baby."

* * *

Fuck. How am I going to deal with this? I have a fresh bruise on my face, Adam is drunk as shit and Jax is 10 minutes away. Not even to mention the rest of the bruises all over me. I really don't know how to deal with this. I thought I had masked my voice enough but Gemma saw right through it. Fuck.

"Adam, I'm gonna step outside for a smoke okay?"

"No. Stay the fuck inside."

"I'm just gonna step out for a minute. Go for a quick walk."

"Bitch I said no!"

Oh fuck. Adam moves to me and backhands me hard enough I fall to the ground. He split my lip open and I can taste blood in my mouth. He grabs my hair and pulls me up holding me there. I'm trying to stay as quiet as possible because I hear bikes. This is a nice area and no one around here has Harleys. Not that sounded like that.

"Who the fuck is that."

"It's my brother."

"You fucking bitch you don't have a brother. Who are you fucking?"

I feel his fist connect with my face right as the bikes cut off in the driveway. I can fix this. I'll tell Jax that someone mugged me on the way home. Right as I'm about the standup I feel Adams foot connect with my ribcage and I can't stop the scream from escaping my lips as I crumble. Next thing I know the door busts open to Jax and another guy pointing their guns. Jesus Christ.

"No Jax stop it's okay." I try to say but it comes out much weaker than I wanted it to.

"What the fuck are you doing to my sister?"

"Jax stop it really is okay."

Fuck. Broken rib. Not sure if it is the same one he busted a month ago but fuck does it hurt. I feel gentle hands on me helping me stand up. I feel an arm hook around my waist and start walking me towards the door. I really don't want to leave but the arm is pressing on my ribcage so I don't have much of a choice.

"That bitch is mine. You aren't taking her anywh-"

I hear a loud thud and look back to see Adam fall to the ground. Jax punched him square in the face.

"Stay the fuck away from her. You won't ever see her again or I'll put a fucking bullet in your skull."

"You alright?"

I totally forgot about this mystery man holding me up. His voice is raspy. I look up to see a hard face and dark eyes. Total bad boy biker look. Kind of intimidating honestly.

"Uhm. Yeah. I think."

I feel his hand turn my face into the light. I can feel how bad it looks.

"Jax. She can't stay here."

I see Jax turn and look at me and his face softens. Even if we aren't very close he always seems to have a soft spot for me. I mean I know I'm his little sister but still. We didn't grow up together. I hate seeing the look of concern on his face.

"Shit. Darlin' why didn't you call?"

He takes me from the unknown biker and holds my face in his hands. Tears? Seriously Savannah? I never cry over this shit!

"He beat the shit out of you sweetheart. Hap, call Clay. She's coming home with us."

"Woah wait. I don't have anything. I have to work tomorrow. I can't just leave. I.. I don't even have a vehicle in my name.."

I see the one he called Hap pull out his phone and walk away. Jax pulls me into his arms and holds me close. Why is he shaking? Wait. No. That's me. I'm shaking. God damn I feel weak.

"You aren't going to work. You aren't coming back here either. We can keep you save in Charming. You can ride on the bikes. Anything that is in that house can be replaced. You can't baby sister."

He is right. I really don't own anything. All my clothes remind me of getting beat and nothing is worth facing that bastard again. I see Hap walk back and nod his head.

"Clay wants us back as soon as possible."

"Alright brother. You good to hold onto me?"

"I think so."

"I saw a motel about 20 minutes out. We should stop there. Let her sleep. Clean her up."

"She is right here. I can hear everything you're saying. I'll ride for as long as I can."

What am I doing? I have never been on a bike before. Whenever Clay would show up to see me he was in a nice car. I'm assuming they're all in the same club but he never wore a vest like that. Said it was to keep a low profile. Well, at least if I'm going to die I'm going to die on a bike. Poetic right?

I watch Jax and Hap get on their bikes and Jax pulls out a second helmet and hands it to me. I put it on and he adjusts the straps. I'm not sure if he's helping me because I'm shaking or so It's done right. He holds out his hand to steady me so I can swing my arm around. I hiss out in pain as I swing around. Rib is for sure broken.

"You alright darlin'?"

"Uh. Yeah. Pretty sure my rib is broken though."

"That fucker is lucky I didn't kill him."

He's kidding right? Yeah he's kidding. I'm actually a little surprised Adam didn't come out at all. He must have passed out. I look back at the house and see it for the last time. I guess this is my wake up call.

"Jax?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Gem.. Is mom going to flip shit?"

"Yeah."

"Will you stay with me?"

"Yeah. You can stay at my house. You can meet my old lady. Gotta meet your nephew too. Actually, you're about to be an aunt again."

"Woah really? You don't mind me staying with you?"

"Nah. You're family."

* * *

The ride went by surprisingly quick. We stopped for a little bit at a gas station and I was surprised at how weak my legs felt. Luckily Happy, which I found out was his fully name, caught me before I busted my ass more. I was able to clean up my face a bit but the bruises were really bad. People were giving me some really weird looks and then glaring at Jax and Happy. I'm sure they figured they were the ones that hurt me.

Riding was fun though. I felt safe with Jax. At first I thought it would be a little weird being this close to him since I barely knew him but it was comforting. So far this whole having a big brother thing is kind of awesome. We drove through the night. They kept asking me if I wanted to stop but I was too awake. There was no way I was going to shut my mind off.

I saw the Welcome to Charming sign and my heart started to race. What was Gemma going to think of my face? The idea of Clay seeing me so weak was a little scary too. Oh god there were a ton of guys around them all the time. We came to a stop sign and I figured this was my chance.

"Jax"

"What darlin'"

"Can we hold off on seeing Clay and Gemma? I think I would rather meet your girlfriend and son first."

"Yeah that's what we're doing. Tara is a doctor. She will clean you up."

I nodded against his back and held on tight. I was so scared. Hopefully Tara wouldn't think poorly of me taking what I have. If she was a doctor she was going to know how much abuse I had gone through. Fuck.

"Tara! I'm home baby!"

"Oh Jax! Oh! Who is this?"

"Tara this is Savannah. She's my half-sister. Gemma and Clay when John was in Belfast."

"Oh my god. Sweetheart what happened to you?"

"Met the brunt end of a few fists" Happy rasped out with his arms crossed.

"Come here sweetie. Let me check you out."

"Thank you Tara." I started to walk away and turned back. "Happy?"

"Hmm."

"Thank you."

I could see Jax and Tara look at me. Happy blinked a few times and grunted which I was assuming was his way of saying you're welcome. He was really quiet. I couldn't shake the memory of his gently touch on me helping me though. I had a feeling most people didn't see that side of him. I followed Tara into a bedroom that only had a desk in it and a futon.

Tara cleaned up my face first. She was so gently. Even though it hurt like hell I could tell she really didn't want to hurt me. I escaped with just a few small cuts and she said they looked around.

"I'm afraid you might have some fractures in your face though. I'll make an appointment for tomorrow to get some x-rays. Just in case."

"Okay. Thank you."

"No problem hun. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

I stood up and pulled my shirt off. I watched her eyes widen at the bruises all over me. I looked down and traced my fingers over my side and could see the bruises were black. That one stood out the most but I had them all over my arms, chest, back and belly. I all of a sudden felt very self-conscious. She gently pulled my sweatpants down revealing my bruised hips and legs.

"Savannah you need to show Jax this. I think you should go to the hospital right now."

I nodded with tears in my eyes. Tara called out to Jax and the door whipped open to both him and Happy pushing in. The hysterical sound of Tara's voice had scared them. They both stopped dead and looked at me. I moved my eyes to the ground and tried to hide my face. I didn't even care that I was only in my bra and panties. I was hyper aware of their eyes on my bruises. I had never shown them to anyone before.

"Savannah.."

"Jax. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I didn't call. Please don't tell Clay. Please don't hate me."

"Darlin' I have to. Hap call mom and Clay. Tell them to get to the club house. Everyone needs to be there now. Tara can she wait for the hospital? They need to see this."

"Yeah she can wait an hour or two."

They must have seen my eyes widen. Everyone? A whole club of bikers seeing me like this? What the hell did I get myself into?

"Savannah. We will get you into a pair of shorts and a sports bra. That way you won't feel so naked. Jax is right. They need to see this. The club can protect you."

I nodded my head and wiped my eyes. I noticed Happy actually had an expression on his face but it scared me. I have never seen someone so angry before.

"Tara can you come talk to me for a minute? Hap stay in here with her."

Tara handed me a pair of shorts and a nice sports bra that actually clipped. I smiled at her silently thanking her for something I wouldn't have to slip over my face.

"Savannah?"

"Yeah Jax?"

"I don't hate you darlin'."

I shook as I tried slipping the shorts on and I felt Happy's hand on my shoulder which made me jump. I looked up at him with wide eyes and he shook his head slowly. He steadied me as I pulled the shorts up and unclipped my bra. I froze for a minute but I realized he wasn't trying to look at me. He was really trying to help.

He clipped the sports bra on for me and shrugged his hoodie off. It had a reaper on the front of it that matched his vest. He rest it on my shoulders and helped me slip it on. I zipped it up and looked at the ground.

"Thank you."

"No problem. You shouldn't hide those eyes ya know. You're stronger than you think."

I wasn't sure what to say to him but I looked up at him. His eyes were soft but intense. I guess I was pretty transparent in the fact that I was embarrassed. I guess if I could deal with Happy dressing me I could deal with the rest of the club.

We walked outside to the bikes and I was handed another helmet. I guess I was wearing Tara's on the way back.

"Savannah you alright riding with Hap? Tara usually rides with me."

Before I could even answer Happy was pulling me onto his bike. It was harder to wrap my arms around him since he was about twice the size of my brother. Without a word he started the bike and we rolled out after Jax.

It was a short ride but I was dreading it. Soon everyone that is supposed to mean anything to me was going to find out how weak I am.

When we pulled up there was a line of bikes there. We could hear music playing softly inside. Happy helped me off the bike and lightly wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I wasn't sure if It was to make me feel better or make sure I didn't run.

"You're gonna be alright girl. You already met the scary one."

"Jax?"

I could feel his chest rumble as he laughed and shook his head no. I looked at Jax and Tara as we followed them in wondering who the scary one was if it wasn't Jax. Clay maybe?

When the doors opened I saw so many eyes fall on me. Gemma was standing with Clay and seemed incredibly nervous. I was focused on her face but I was still semi hiding behind Jax and felt myself push further into Happy. I watched Gemma step forward looking concerned.

"Savannah baby is that you?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me mom."

I stepped forward and her mouth dropped. Tears welled up in her eyes and I saw everyone else stiffen. What a sight I must have been. I had never met most of these people and here I was standing battered and broken. I felt Happy's hand on the small of my back and push me forward lightly towards Gemma. She reached out to me shaking and crying.

"Baby what happened to you?"

She pulled me in close and I couldn't hold the tears back anymore. She had never been much of a mother figure to me but right now I felt like a small child in her arms. I felt a large hand on my back and looked up to see Clay looking at me with tears in his eyes too. That made me feel even worse. I knew that Clay wasn't a weak man so for him to cry I must have been a total mess.

"Brothers, this is my little sister Savannah. Mom and Clay sent her away when she was little to get her out of the shit. Happy and I went down to Arizona to check on her when mom thought she sounded off. When we showed up we heard her scream out." I heard Gemma's breath catch and her body stiffen. Clay's hand moved from my back slowly and I could see it was balled into a fist.

"Baby I am so so sorry. I thought you were safe. I thought you were better off away from all of this shit."

"We both did."

I stepped back and tried to stand up tall. I felt Tara place her hand on my shoulder and when I looked at her I nodded.

"Jax, Happy and I thought you all should see this." Tara looked at all the members and then back to me.

I unzipped Happy's hoodie and slipped it off my shoulders. I heard Gemma gasp and watched her hand shoot to her mouth. More tears welled up in her eyes and she grabbed Clay's wrist. Clay turned away from me and I heard him swear under his breath.

I watched the bikers eyes move from my black eye, cut forehead and split lip down my neck where there were hand marks. My shoulders and chest had bruises and hand marks. My arms had hand marks and cigarette burns. My ribs were black on the left side where his foot had connected. My hips had hand marks and peeking up over the shorts was a scar still pink from healing. My legs were different shades of purple from new and healing bruises.

"We're going to take her to the hospital. I think she has a few broken ribs and I don't want anything to puncture."

"Tara you take care of my baby."

"Of course, Gemma."

"Baby I will be up there soon. Happy you drive careful. Don't leave her side."

Happy nodded once at Gemma. I slipped the hoodie back on and I felt Happy's arm go back around my shoulder leading me towards the door. I looked back at the room full of tough bikers and they looked bewildered. I must have been a total mess. I leaned myself into Happy feeling exhausted all of a sudden. I felt his arm tighten around me to support me.

"You gonna be alright to ride?"

"Yeah. I'm just.. I'm really tired."

"Come on. I bet Tara can give you some of the good shit. I'll stay with ya in the hospital."

"Is that because deep down you're a big softy or because you have your orders."

He chuckled deep in his chest and helped me get on the bike. I wrapped my arms around his waist and clenched my hands together to make sure I didn't let go. I was feeling so exhausted I really wasn't sure if riding the bike was a great idea. I rested my head on his back and I felt him pat my hands before he started his bike and started to head to the hospital.

* * *

The next few hours flew by. Tara and every other doctor seemed to endlessly come through the door in my private room. They had tried putting me in a shared room but one look from Happy and they scurried to find something else. They took me for x rays and an MRI to make sure I didn't have any serious damage. They took blood, swabs and pictures. The police tried talking to me but Happy blocked him from entering. I thought they were going to push past him but he just stood there with his arms crossed and stared at the older man.

The whole thing was overwhelming.

I was asked a million questions. When was the last time I ate? When was my last cycle? When did I get each and every single fucking bruise? I tried to answer their questions the best I could. At one point I just started sobbing. I felt so stupid and lost. All of these people were seeing me for who I really was. Weak.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was a bigger hand but it was soft on me. I looked up with tears in my eyes to see Happy's stoic face. Who knew such a scary face could be so calming. I placed my shaky hand on his carefully almost like I was afraid he was going to pull away. He didn't though. He moved closer to me and looked up at the doctors and shook his head no.

"We, uh, will give you some time. Dr. Knowles should be back soon to talk to you about results."

I nodded my head and rest my head against Happy's arm. As the door shut I let out my breath I didn't even realizing I was holding. I felt him move away and sat up quickly. Was that too much? I looked at him but before I could apologize he sat down next to me slightly turning to face me.

"You could have told me you needed a break girl."

"Yeah, uh, I'm sorry about that."

"What are you sorry for?"

"For losing it like that. I'm sure you don't want to deal with my shit."

I looked up to seeing him staring at me. His dark eyes seemed to pierce through me. I wasn't even sure what I was sorry for anymore. How can these eyes be so hard and so kind at the same time? I saw his hand move and flinched which caused him to stop. Was that anger I saw flash across his face?

"How long has he been doing this to you?"

I looked at the hand print on my leg and covered myself up with the hospital blanket quickly and looked down. I was so embarrassed. Happy had shown me nothing but kindness and protection. How do I repay him? I flinch after I cried on him. What the hell was wrong with me?

I felt his fingers under my chin as he pushed my face back up to look at him. I looked everywhere I could but his face. Eye contact was never a good thing for me so I had learned to avoid it. Plus, his eyes were incredibly intense.

"Please look at me."

I let my eyes lock into his and I think it was pain I saw. It was only a flash but there was something there for a second. His hand moved from my chin to wipe a tear off my cheek. His let out a small raspy laugh at the expression on my face which I was sure was complete shock and confusion.

"You don't need to be ashamed of this shit. You loved him right?"

"Yeah."

"What he did was wrong. You know that. But don't feel ashamed of it. Don't ever feel ashamed around me."

"Happy?"

"Yeah."

"Why did you say I had already met the bad one?"

"Because he had his arm wrapped around you."

"Wait, you?"

He looked down with a small smirk on his face as I laughed out. I ended up holding my side trying not to laugh anymore but I couldn't stop myself. I was yelling ow and laughing at the same time and the biker sitting on my bed started laughing along with me. Happy had his hand on my leg as I was doubled over sideways in pain as I laughed for the first time in a long time.

I heard the door open and I tried to stop laughing but couldn't. I buried my face in the blanket and could hear Happy trying not to laugh too. I peeked up to see Tara, Gemma, Clay and Jax standing there all looking incredibly confused. Clay was staring at Happy as he cleared his throat trying to stop the laughing.

"Brother, what's going on? You're actually smiling and my daughter looks like she's in pain."

"She uh, she thought it was funny I referred to myself as the dangerous one."

"But, you are. Tacoma Killer. Killa. We don't call you that for no reason."

"Yeah boss I know."

I was able to sit myself back up with Tara and Jax's help. I was slowly starting to stop myself from laughing but as soon as I looked at Happy we both started chuckling again.

"Cla- uh, dad. I'm sure you guys know Happy as something different but he was the one to pick me up literally off the floor. He's been with me all day and his name is literally Happy. You gotta see the irony in that."

Clay shook his head and smiled at me. Tara giggled a little and patted my hands.

"We got your results back Savannah. Do you want everyone to leave?"

I could see Gemma glaring at her but before she could say anything I spoke up.

"No Tara. It's okay. Everyone will find out anyway. Plus, I really don't want to repeat myself a shit ton."

Gemma walked over and sat with me. She was fidgeting with the blanket around me seeming unsure of what to do. I noticed she was careful not to look at my face and if she did it was only for a few seconds. Honestly, Tara and Happy were the only two to really look me in the eyes.

"Alright Savannah. You have a mild concussion. It should clear up pretty quickly. You need to come back in a few days to get another x-ray of your orbital fracture though. It looks like it was already broken and when he hit you it re-broke. There is a lot of swelling so we want to make sure there isn't anything else wrong."

"Okay."

"You have three broken ribs. Luckily they only broke in once place each so we don't need to do any surgeries. It's just going to be painful for a while."

"Yeah I know. Nothing I haven't dealt with before."

I heard Gemma hiss and look at me with both pain and anger. Clay cleared his throat and she looked back to him and then Tara.

"Your left leg is fractured but it looks like it's already partially healed. Did you know it was broken?"

"I had an idea but I wasn't sure."

"Alright well it looks like it set alright. We will re-do an x-ray on it when we do your orbital fracture as well to make sure it doesn't need surgery."

"Okay."

"The cut that is still healing looks like it was a clean cut. Was that a surgery?"

"Uh, no. He uh. I had a miscarriage. I had hidden it from him so when he found out he told me I didn't deserve to have kids. I just kind of patched it up myself."

I saw Clay stiffen and heard Gemma curse under her breath. She put her head on my leg and shook her head.

"We're going to do an ultrasound to make sure we don't need to do surgery okay? I can have them come right in. How long ago was that?"

"About a month."

"Alright let me go get the ultrasound technician. I can stay in here with you since I can read them. Won't even have to wait. I'll be back in a few minutes."

I nodded and started fidgeting with the blanket on my lap. Clay was running his hands through his hair, Jax was staring at the ground and Happy was staring at me. Gemma picked her head up and started playing with my hair.

"Baby I am so sorry. We should have kept you here. I should have known sooner that there was something wrong."

"Mom there is no way you could have known."

"A mother knows."

Clay looked down at me and put his hand on Gemma's shoulder.

"Gem, we need to talk to her for a minute. Why don't you go get us some coffee. Make sure the guys know she's alright. They're all out in the waiting room."

"Jesus Clay they don't even know her."

"She's family." Jax said as he lifted his head and opened the door for Gemma. She looked back at me and touched my face with tears in her eyes. Once she walked through the door Jax shut it and stood in front of it.

"You can stay with us Savannah. Or you can stay with Mom and Clay. I'll clean up my room at the clubhouse for you too. We don't know if this guy is going to come after you so you aren't going to be alone."

"Okay."

"If I'm not home or Clay isn't home one of the guys will be with you. After your ultrasound they're going to come in and introduce themselves. They wanna know you. They're family now. No questions. They will drop whatever they have to do to keep you safe. Got it?"

"Yeah. Thank you Jax."

He nodded his head and walked out the door leaving me alone with Clay and Happy. Happy hadn't said anything yet just stared at me.

"Mind giving me a minute with my daughter?"

Happy nodded and went to walk out the door.

"Stay out there. She seems comfortable with you. You can come back in once I leave."

Happy walked out the door and shut it behind him. I could see his shadow right outside the door and it made me feel better. Not that I was uncomfortable around Clay, Happy just seemed to understand me without me needing to say a word.

"You aren't going back there. Ever."

"I know."

"You should have called us."

"I Know. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. We should have come and seen you more often."

"No I really should have left. I'm not a damsel in distress."

"No. You aren't. You're my daughter. This life isn't easy but you're in it now. Seems like our shit is safer than the shit you were just living in. Eventually we will get you set up with an apartment but for now I want you at the clubhouse during the day and with your family at night. I'm sure your mom could use some help at TM once you're feeling better."

"Okay. Whatever you think is best dad."

"We're gonna talk more about this later alright?"

"Yeah."

We heard a knock at the door as Tara walked in with an ultrasound machine and a technician. Clay patted my head gently twice and walked out as Happy walked in. He came up to stand by my head and put his hand on my shoulder. I rest my head on his hand and this time he moved closer seeming more comfortable with my movement. Or maybe he was just glad I didn't flinch.

After a few minutes of Tara looking at the screen she turned it towards me and showed what apparently was my uterus. I noticed Happy was looking at it with intense eyes.

"From what I can see Savannah, you're good to go. The cut just barely hit your uterus but there isn't any more scarring on it than if you had a cesarean. I would wait a year until you get pregnant again but I don't see why you can't have kids in the future."

I blinked a few times at the screen but I didn't feel anything. I couldn't even imagine being close to someone again let alone having sex again. Sex was so uncomfortable. I felt vulnerable enough without being that exposed.

"Is that why I miscarried then?"

"The trauma I'm sure. Add that in with the stress and there really wasn't much of a chance. How far along were you?"

"About 12 weeks I think."

"Okay. Well everything is cleared out. For everything you have been through you are pretty healthy. I'm going to go get your discharge paperwork."

"Thanks doc."

Tara walked out and Happy moved back to sitting on my bed. I started to sit up and realized all I had to wear was shorts and a sports bra. I sighed as I looked at the clothes neatly piled on the chair.

"I have no clothes."

"You can wear my hoodie again. I'm sure your mom will get you clothes."

"Thank you. Mind helping me up so I can get dressed? I want to get out of here."

"Guys still need to come in and see you."

I groaned and noticed a smile flash across Happy's face. I slapped his arm but couldn't help but laugh. His eyes were intense but his smiles were amazing. I had a feeling he didn't smile like that very often.

"I at least want pants on before you parade a bunch of bikers in here."

"Alright alright."

Happy helped me get the shorts and his hoodie on. Right as I zipped up the hoodie the door burst open to Jax and two other men walking in. Happy nodded at them and looked back to me.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Thank you Happy."

He smiled at me and walked out. Jax stared at him wide eyed as he walked out then looked back at me.

"What the fuck was that?"

"What?"

"He smiled?"

"Yeah? He has been smiling at me all day."

The three men looked at each other and they all looked confused.

"He was laughing with you too wasn't he?"

"Yes? Why is that weird?"

"You got no idea doll"

I looked over at the man who answered me. He had black crazy curly hair and bright blue eyes. The man standing next to him had black and grey shaggy hair. He had kind eyes and two large cuts on his face. They all were wearing the same vest meaning they were part of the club.

"Name is Tig."

"Aye and I'm Chibs."

"Nice to meet you. Scottish?"

"Aye Lass. Nice ear."

"Thanks. Had a friend in college from Scottland. Was very particular about the difference between Irish and Scottish accents."

They all laughed and I actually was able to smile and mean it. I pulled my hands up in the long sleeves trying to get warm.

"Here ya go doll. Phone for ya. Has all our numbers in it. Chibs got it together for you since Gem said you didn't have anything with you."

"Oh. Thank you."

It was a brand new iPhone. I didn't even have a phone before let alone a smart phone. I felt the tears sting my eyes and I quickly stopped myself from crying. Seriously Savannah? Crying over a cell phone? They were gonna throw me to the wolves I was sure of it.

"Sis, seriously. You can call any number on there. They all will know who it is that's calling and they will be there. Not that you are going to be alone any time soon."

"Okay. Thank you Jax."

"No problem. We had to send Happy out on a run. Chibs is going to get you to the clubhouse. Tig will be following in case that fucker followed you back. Rest of the guys left so you get a few minutes to breathe. Tara already processed you. Time to get you home."

Before I could even really register anything Chibs came over and scooped me out of the bed. I tried to protest but honestly I wouldn't have been able to walk that fast. This was probably way easier. Chibs seemed older but he was pretty strong to pick me up that easily. He smelled like leather, cologne and cigarettes. Why did it smell so damn good? He set me down next to his bike and handed me a helmet.

"Hap left that for ya."

"Oh thank you."

He helped me buckle it then helped me on his bike. I wrapped my arms around him. It was funny. I had never ridden a bike before in my life now I had been on three in the past few days. His bike roared to life and I jumped used to Happy signaling that we were about to move. I heard Chibs yell sorry as I could see Tig laughing. I felt a smile creep across my face realizing it would probably be hard to be unhappy around these guys. I rest my face against Chib's back and actually felt comfortable other than the fact the vibrations from the bike were hurting my ribs.

We got to TM in no time. Chibs helped me off the bike and I winced in pain as I stood up.

"Ya alright Lass?"

"Yeah the bike just kinda hurt my ribs."

He scooped me back up and walked me through the clubhouse. Everyone there cheered as we walked in and I felt my face turn red. It felt weird he was almost carrying me like a bride. I felt my face turn even redder at realizing how close I was to Chibs. Gemma walked over and helped Chibs set me down on my feet.

"Welcome home baby. We're gonna get you settled then I will show you around okay? Chibs baby can you help me get her back to Jax's room?"

"Of course, ma."

We walked back to the first room. The door was already open and I saw bags from stores all over the place.

"Uh, mom? What is all this?"

"You didn't have any clothes baby. When I left the hospital I went and grabbed you a bunch of clothes. Only the best for my daughter. Tara told me the size clothes you had when you got here so I just kind of bought everything around here. We can go up to Oakland once you feel better to get you more clothes. Happy said to tell you to keep the hoodie you have on."

"Oh. Uhm. Thank you."

"Go ahead and get changed and I'll show you around."

Gemma and Chibs went to walk out. I turned and called to Chibs right as he walked out of sight. I saw him pop his head back around the door frame.

"Aye?"

"Thank you for the ride home."

"Not a problem." He smiled huge at me. His eyes seemed to twinkle when he smiled like that. What is it with these guys and their damn smiles.

* * *

I was digging through all the clothes. These were all amazing. Also must have cost a small fortune. It had been years since I had new clothes. Some of these clothes were kind of revealing though. I know mom kind of dressed risky but I was never allowed to. I started making a pile of what I would wear now, once my bruises healed and never. It seemed like my never pile was getting awfully big when I heard a knock on the door.

I looked up to see Happy standing in the doorway. I felt a smile creep across my face and then I laughed to myself. Not only was I smiling at someone but it was someone who they all called the Tacoma Killer. I was sure they weren't kidding around at all. I had befriended the scariest looking biker short of Chibs and his facial scars. How fucked up was it that those two were my favorite.

"Hey."

"Hey girl. Wanted to make sure you made it home."

"Don't trust Chibs?"

"Nah I do. It's Tig that weirds me out."

I laughed out and held my ribs in pain.

"Alright Happy. No more laughing until I'm healed up."

"Can't promise anything. What are the pile of clothes for?"

"Oh. Mom went crazy. Three piles. Stuff I can wear now. Stuff I can wear once my bruises heal. Stuff I will never wear."

He walked over and picked up a shirt that was open in the back from my "never" pile. He tossed it over into my now pile. He did the same with everything he found. He then went through my "now" pile and pulled all the safe t-shirts out and put them in a separate pile.

"Uhm, excuse me? What are you doing?"

"Two piles. Now and bed time."

"I didn't realize I had to dress like a hooker for bed."

"That isn't the bed pile."

I looked at him and squinted my eyes. This man barely knew me and was trying to tell me what to wear. It wasn't like Adam though. He wasn't trying to get me to cover up. He was trying to get me to dress like a woman.

"What's going on baby?"

I Looked to see Gemma standing in the doorway looking amused.

"Gem, she was trying to toss out all the good clothes. She thought she would get away with only wearing basic t-shirts."

"Baby you're gonna have to learn it doesn't work like that around here. Those girls out there will eat you up no matter what your name is."

"Mom I am covered in bruises. No one wants to see that."

"Know what you do? You put on clothes that make you look sexy. You walk out there with your head held high and you act like they aren't even there. You're my daughter. We don't do weak. You are going to show them just how bulletproof you are."

Gemma picked up a pair of jean shorts and the top with the back cut out. She tossed me a skimpy looking bra and black lace panties and ushered Happy out of the room. I noticed he was smirking and shaking his head as he walked away. Gemma helped me into the clothes and pushed me gently to the mirror.

I didn't even recognize the girl in the mirror. The bruises were nasty but she had long pale legs that looked amazing in the shorts. The shirt was loose enough not to hurt but showed off enough skin to look sexy. The bruises were noticeable but not as bad now since there was actually a woman showing through.

Gemma was brushing out my long brown hair that was wavy from taking a shower in the hospital. She put some makeup on my face and I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. I actually looked beautiful again. Bruises and all. It was me. Gemma put down flip flops in front of me.

"Put those on baby. I have heels for you too but the ribs probably wouldn't deal too well with that right now. Now we're gonna walk out there and you're going to show everyone just who the fuck you are."

"Okay mom. Let's go."

 


	2. A Mothers Love

As I walked out of the room, I can barely breathe. The confidence I felt a few minutes ago just ran screaming out of my head as soon as I saw everyone standing in the barroom.

"You're alright baby. Remember, bulletproof."

I take a deep breath and roll my shoulders back. False confidence is better than no confidence. I scan the room and realize that I barely know anyone here. I see Jax and Tara but no one else is really around. Except for the women.

Holy shit Gemma wasn't lying.

These women are gorgeous. In a.. trashy kind of way. They sure as hell aren't covered in bruises. I think it's pretty shitty that a motorcycle club treats their women better than an ordinary man.

"Savannah, how are you feeling? You look gorgeous!"

Did Tara really just say that? Me and gorgeous? I really doubt that.

"Uh, thanks. I didn't really want to wear this but.."

"But Gemma gets what she wants right?"

"Yeah."

Apparently Tara knows Gemma. I sit down next to Tara and look around the bar. It was cleaner than I imagined it would be, but it still has just enough trash to make it known it's a biker club.

"Well you look fantastic, Savannah. I mean it."

"Thank you Tara. It's nice to have a woman around that isn't dressed like a whore or my mother."

"Well Opie's woman is around too, but just a fair warning.. she's a porn star."

"Oh. Well, I mean I guess everyone has to have a job."

I look towards the front door just in time to see Happy walk in. I don't know why but he makes me smile. I try to hide it but I can see out of the corner of my eye that Tara is smiling at me. Shit. The last thing I need is for anyone to think I want the Tacoma Killer. Some sort of hero complex or shit.

To make things worse, Happy is walking right at me.

"I see Gemma won."

"Yeah no thanks to you."

I desperately try not to roll my eyes as Tara's grin gets bigger.

"Dressing in boring ass plain clothes won't make you blend in here. It's gonna make you stick out."

"Oh so you're just looking out for me?"

"Haven't I always?"

My jaw drops as Happy turns and walks away. No part of that conversation helped the now open smile that Tara has across her face. I look at her and realize that she isn't going to let this go.

"So Happy helped you pick out clothes?"

"Uh. No. Not really. He just didn't like how I was organizing mine."

"Well, I have never seen him even talk to a woman other than Gemma. Let alone help her sort through clothes."

"He probably just feels bad for me."

Tara laughs very loudly and shakes her head.

"Happy doesn't feel bad for anyone."

I turn my face away from Tara to avoid the conversation and notice Clay looking at me. He has a neutral look on his face when he stands up and motions for me to follow him. I follow him back to the dorm rooms as he walks into the one Gemma said was mine. We both walk in and he shuts the door behind him.

"I see Gem bought you some clothes."

"More like every single piece of clothing in Charming."

"Yeah that sounds about right. I'm sure my wallet is at least half the size now."

"I'm sorry dad. I can pay you back for it."

"No no Savannah. Gemma would spend the money either way. You needed clothes."

"I can still pay you back."

"You're my daughter. You're family. You don't owe me anything."

"I guess."

I hear Clay clear his throat as I look down at the ground. Clay and I have never been great at conversation. We're both more than happy with not saying much. Gemma is the talker in the family.

"I'm not mad at you about not telling us. I wish you had though."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"How long was he hurting you."

"We moved in together right after I graduated. It was good for about two weeks."

"Christ Savannah. All those times we called you weren't okay."

"I survived."

"That doesn't mean you were okay. Who is this guy?"

"I went to school with him. He was always really sweet to me.. until he wasn't anymore."

"You think he will come after you?"

"Honestly? I don't know."

"You don't leave the clubhouse without a patched member."

"Okay. I don't really know what that means though."

"If it says prospect on it, they aren't patched."

"Alright."

"We do some questionable shit around here Savannah. We protect our own and we don't talk to cops."

"Okay."

"If you have a problem you come to me. None of the guys will hurt you here. I know you've been through some shit but you're safe now."

"Thanks dad."

"I love ya, daughter."

"I love you too."

I watch Clay get up and walk out of the room without looking back at me. He leaves the door open and I look around the room. I start to put the clothes away mainly due to the fact that I don't want to talk to anyone else.

I am incredibly tired.

As I'm putting my clothes away I feel a hand on my shoulder. I stifle a scream and turn quickly just to see Happy standing behind me with a scowl on his face.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't hear you.. I am so sorry.."

"You don't need to apologize to me. I guess I just need to stomp my feet when I walk in."

I laugh nervously and run my fingers through my hair. I'm incredibly embarrassed that he saw me act so weak. Every psychology class I've taken is telling me that my reactions are totally normal but it doesn't help my embarrassment.

"You do know you're safe now right?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah I do."

"Just came in to tell you I'm gonna be gone for a few days."

"Oh, okay. Everything alright?"

"Yeah. Club business. I'm not a big talker but if you need to talk, you have my number."

"Uh. Thanks. I think."

"Chibs will be here. Tig too. Jax and Clay are going with me."

"Chibs is the one with the accent right?"

"Yeah."

"Tig has the blue eyes."

"Right."

"Okay. I'll learn everyone eventually."

I fake a laugh and turn back to my clothes but I can feel that Happy hasn't moved. I close the drawer and slowly turn back around super aware of how close he is to me.

"Savannah?"

"Yeah?"

"You are safe. I promise that."

"Happy, don't make promises you can't keep."

"I don't."

I watch him turn and walk away. These guys sure know how to make dramatic exits. I'm gonna have to get used to that.

* * *

I look over at the clock when I heard a knock at the door. It is three twenty in the morning and someone is knocking on my door. Not that I have been able to fall asleep, but what the hell. I get up and walk over the door and open it to see Gemma.

"Mom?"

"Were you sleeping baby?"

"No. Haven't really slept yet."

"Can I come in?"

"Of course. You okay?"

"I tried to give you some space but I couldn't sleep either."

I walk over to the bed and sit down. I flip the light on next to the bed and move over so Gemma can sit down. Even though she was never much of a mom to me, I have always been able to talk to her. I've never told her but I always wished she was around more.

"Baby I am so sorry."

"Mom, you don't need to keep apologizing to me. I made my bed."

"I should have known though. When you walked into the clubhouse I didn't even know it was you. If I hadn't known Jax went to check on you I never would have recognized you."

"I'm sorry you have to see me all bruised up."

"No baby. I'm sorry that I didn't keep you closer. I always pride myself on family yet I sent you away."

"I'm sure you had good reason."

"I did. But you weren't safe either way. It was stupid for me to send you away. I always joke that I would drown a baby girl if I had one but you have always meant so much to me. I just didn't want you to get hurt."

"Dad said the club does some questionable stuff."

"Yeah and it means that no one is ever really safe."

"Well I've felt safer here in the past day or so than I have in years."

"That breaks my heart, baby."

I look down at my hands not really sure what to say. I feel one hundred percent responsible for all of this. Jax and Happy had to drive all that way to Arizona just to check on me. They find me beaten on the floor and drive me all the way back. Then Tara had to treat me in the hospital. Now everyone is looking at me with pity and going out of their way to try to protect me. I hate this.

"I hope you find a home here, Savannah. These guys are family. I don't know if that means much to you considering everything.. but it means the world to us."

"I'm sure this will be home, mom."

"I love you Savannah."

"I love you too."

I watch as Gemma gets up and goes to walk out of my room. My heart starts to pull realizing that I really don't want her to leave.

"Mom?"

"Yeah baby?"

I see a look of hope on her face. She looks as if me calling to her is the greatest thing she has ever gone through.

"Would.. Do you think you could stay with me tonight? I mean if you don't want to I get it. I just.. I don't want to be alone."

I see a huge smile spread across her face and I see just how beautiful my mom is. She is always so reserved around everyone but in this very moment I see the love and adoration I had always hoped she felt for me.

"Of course baby."

I watch her walk to the other side of the bed and she pulls me to her chest as she sits down. I close my eyes as she runs her fingers through my hair and begins to sing. I never knew just how beautiful her voice is until this very moment.

I feel safe.

My eyes begin to flutter as I fight to stay awake, loving the moment that we are in. My eyes begin to fade as I lose the fight and drift off to sleep. For the first time that I can remember, I fall asleep in my mothers arms.


	3. You've Changed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You will notice my writing changes. I wanted to write it as Savannah was living it at that moment.. but holy crap is that hard! So I bounced from that to past tense like most of the first chapter was. It flows better in my opinion. SO i'm sorry about the change but it flows easier for me in past tense. Try not to hate it haha.

I wake up and feel like I have been hit by a truck. Maybe a train. Something big that moves really fucking fast and hits really fucking hard. I imagine that this is what a hangover would feel like. Wouldn't know. Adam never let me drink.

My mind wanders back to how I feel asleep and I notice that Gemma isn't here anymore. I'm not sure when she left but I'm glad she waited until I fell asleep. I haven't slept that well in years it seems.

I get up to take a quick shower. The hot water feels fantastic running across my sore body. I guess the stress really got to me. I walk out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around me and my long hair stuck to my back. Normally I would throw it up but with how much my head hurts, I don't think it's a great idea.

"Good morning baby."

I jump at the voice and try to stop myself from a startled scream, so instead it comes out at a high pitched squeak. I put my hand over my mouth and start laughing at the look on Gemma's face.

"I am so sorry mom. I didn't know you were in here."

"Jesus, baby, you always so scared?"

I notice her face fall when I look at anything but her. Truth is I have been that scared for years. It is going to take time for me to relax and not take everything so seriously.

"Happy asked the same thing."

"Speaking of the killer. You two seem pretty close."

"Ugh. It's not that. He just is being friendly because he feels bad for me."

"Baby, Happy doesn't feel bad for anyone or anything. He earned his name."

She was now the second person to tell me that. I really don't understand why everyone would think that when he has shown me nothing but kindness. He was kind of an ass about the clothes but I really think he was just looking out for me.

"So I talked to Clay last night. I know that you had a job at the hospital before, but he really doesn't want you away from here at all until we know the asshole isn't going to follow you."

"I totally understand. I don't think my last job will give me much of a recommendation. I called in all the time and I didn't even call them to tell them I quit."

"Don't you worry about that. Tara works at the hospital."

"I don't need anyone to get me a job."

"Well too late. You're hired."

"Where?"

"Here baby. I need some help around here, especially with Abel being back."

"Oh yeah. I kind of forgot you guys run a business here too."

"You'll get the hang of things baby. Whenever you're ready to start working, let me know. Until then just relax and try to get situated."

I nodded and watched her walk out of the room. I grabbed a pair of running shorts and a low cut t-shirt. Happy was right. I couldn't dress the way I am used to. I need to fit in here because the last thing I need is to get more shit than I already have on my plate.

* * *

The past few days went by pretty quickly. I had been spending a lot of time with Tara, getting to know her and Abel. Abel is a beautiful child. I was surprised to find out that Tara isn't his biological mother. I also was told about how Tara had just been kidnapped while everyone was in Belfast. If all these guys can't keep their women safe, I'm not really sure how I am going to stay safe.

The guys have been in and out of the clubhouse, always seeming busy. Jax wants to talk to me later but said it could wait. Everyone seems upset about something but no one will really talk about it. I'm not even sure if it's my place to ask. All of this is really overwhelming.

"Hey Savannah."

I look up from playing on my phone to see Happy standing in front of me.

"Hey Hap."

"Can we talk for a few minutes?"

"Yeah sure. I was just messing on my phone anyway."

I set my phone down and motion for him to sit down. He looks at me for a minute then takes a seat directly across from me.

"You see how busy we are?"

"Yeah? I didn't cause any of that did I? Cause if I did.."

"No. Not your fault."

"Okay."

"We got into some trouble right before we took off to Belfast."

"What kind of trouble?"

"The kind that is gonna lock us up for a few years."

"Years!?"

"If we turn ourselves in it means two years, maybe shorter if we behave."

"Are you going to behave?"

My face flushed when he openly smiled at me.

"Gonna try."

"Is everyone going?"

"Nah. Tig, Chibs and Kozic will all be here."

"But not you."

"No. I'll be gone."

"Ya know you didn't need to tell me all of this right?"

"I know I didn't."

"Then why did you?"

"Figured you deserved to know, Savannah."

"I don't need to know club business."

"You're right on that one. Less you know the better. Figured you'd notice if we were all gone for over a year though."

I laugh and the sound surprises me. I don't laugh often. Honestly I don't even really feel a whole lot most of the time. I stop smiling and start to think about all the times my happiness was ripped away. This was no different. Happy was the first person to make me laugh in years and he was leaving again.

"What's going through your head."

"Just thinking I guess."

"About what."

"I'm not happy."

"Anything to do with us all leaving?"

"Not directly I guess. I haven't been happy or even smiled often in years."

"That asshole cause that?"

"I guess I really did it to myself. I stayed there."

I watch as Happy's face hardens into a nasty scowl. He got up from the table and I assume he is going to walk away when he smacks his hand on the table hard. I jump not expecting the sudden action.

"Nothing you went through was your fucking fault Savannah. By the time I get out you better have changed your fucking tune about that."

I feel my eyes widen at the sudden change in attitude that Happy has towards me. I see anger and frustration I have never seen on him before. I mean I haven't known him for long but I didn't think he was that angry. Maybe his title of killer really is legitimate.

* * *

I stand in horror as I watch Jax get taken away along with the rest of the guys. Gemma is sobbing and Tara looks like she's going to throw up. Clay is threatening Jax and so is everyone else. My heart aches at the idea that Jax betrayed his club. I don't know much but I do know that a betrayal could kill.

I look around for Chibs or Tig but they're both gone. As the cops are putting everyone into the back of their vehicle I lock eyes with Happy. I notice something different but I can't pinpoint it. I run over quickly as I see Tara trying to hold onto Jax.

"Happy!"

He turns and looks at me and so does everyone else. I feel my cheeks turn red and I almost regret running over.

"Remember you're going to behave."

"You trying to look out for me or something?"

I smirk as I remember saying the same thing to him just a few days before.

"Haven't I always?"

I smile and blush as he smirks at me just as a cop pulls me away from the door. I hear the guys holler at him for touching me but he wasn't hurting me. I got my point across and that's all I was hoping for. I haven't known Happy for very long but I am going to miss him.

I turn and look at my crying mother and the only woman I have connected with here. They both look devastated. Tara is rubbing her belly absentmindedly and Gemma is holding her chest. As the truck pulls out the prospects follow. I realize that my heart aches as the only men who have ever cared about me drive off into the unknown.

* * *

I've been consoling Gemma for hours. Somehow I missed that she has been on house arrest though it makes since considering she was only ever at work or at home. She hasn't said much but she has cried enough for a small country.

I look up at the door to see the curly haired prospect walk in. He hands Gemma and myself both a letter. Tells me they're from Jax. Gemma and I look at each other and open up the letters.

_Savannah_

_I wish I could have told you what was going on. I'm honestly not sure how you're going to react to everything that happened. You just got thrown into this life and it isn't an easy one. I didn't hide everything from you because I don't trust you, I trust you more than you know. I couldn't tell anyone what was going on._

_I didn't betray the club. I would never do that. They all knew what was going on but we all played it off like I was on the wrong path. I had to. We all had to._

_I know Happy explained to you that we were leaving. I wanted to tell you myself but I just didn't have the time. He said you took it well and I hope he was right._

_Please take care of mom. I'm all she had for a long time and now I know you were brought back into our lives for a reason. She needs you. Tara needs you. Honestly, I can see this club needing you. Take care of Abel and your new niece or nephew on the way._

_I love you, sis_

_Jax_

I smile to myself and see that Gemma is smiling out of the corner in my eye.

"He's gonna be okay mom."

"I know baby. Everything is gonna be okay."

Gemma pulls me to her and starts crying again. Only this time they're tears of relief instead of dread. I smile knowing that Jax thought enough of me to write me a letter. He is right. I was thrown into this life.

The thing is, I've never felt more at home.

* * *

_Happy,_

_I'm not sure if this is okay, but I wanted to write you a letter. Gemma doesn't think it's a good idea for me to get on the visitor list in case Adam is looking for me. I don't know if you're a big reader or writer but until you tell me otherwise I'll write to you._

_Jax left me a letter explaining everything about your stay. I'm not mad at all. I'm glad that everyone is okay._

_Things have been pretty weird without all of you here. It's really quiet. Tig and Kozic keep fighting. Mom said they always do so I guess it isn't really a big deal. They said something about Tig not being able to vote due to losing his license so now Kozic is here to help._

_I really don't know what any of this means._

_I went back to the doctor. All my fractures are healed up. My bruises are almost gone too. Mom said now I don't have any excuse to cover myself up. I feel like I'm going to throw up at the idea of dressing like some of the women around here._

_I hope everything is going okay in there. I wish I could say I'd see you soon but I don't see that happening. Not anytime soon at least._

_I hope I don't sound absolutely crazy for writing to you. You're the first person that isn't family that was really kind to me. Even if you do it in your own weird way._

_Behave._

_Savannah_

* * *

I heard a crash and looked over to see Tig and Kozic throwing punches. Again. I sighed and stood up to walk over to them.

"You sure that's a good idea, sweetheart?"

I looked over to see Opie leaning against the bar with his arms crossed. I never really talked to him much but I could tell he was looking out for me. He was one of the few that didn't end up in jail.

"Last time I let them go and they both ended up almost dying."

"I don't think they're ever gonna stop fighting."

"Well, it's annoying so I'm going to stop them."

Opie laughed and nodded his head before waving his arm, telling me to go. I rolled my eyes and turned towards the fighting men.

"If you two fucks don't stop im going to beat your asses."

I knew my statememnt would fall on deaf ears but it didn't stop me from getting frustrated. The two had been fighting for days. Every time I thought things would get better someone would mouth off and they would start fighting again. I had trained dogs easier than these two.

"TIG! KOZIC! KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF!"

This time my yelling stopped them. They were both bleeding and breathing heavily. They turned and looked at me though and seemed ashamed.

"I am so fucking tired of cleaning up your mess! Grow the fuck up! I don't care what happened between you two and I don't want to! Knock it off! Pick this shit up and get the fuck away from eachother. Seriously. I am not your fucking mother!"

I hear laughing from behind me and realize that it's Piney and Opie. I looked at them with a glare that caused both of them to turn away from me. I huff and go to walk away before I noticed that Gemma was in the room the whole time.

"Nice touch baby. I knew you'd figure it out eventually."

"How the hell do you do this mom? These two are fucking children."

I heard Kozic make a joke about Tig fucking children but before the two could start brawling again I tossed a bottle at his head but missed by a few inches.

"I told you both if you fucking do it again I'd kick your ass. Knock it off!"

* * *

_S_

_I don't write much. Since you can't bring your skinny ass here I guess I'll have to get over it. Things are alright here. Same shit every day. You're more than welcome to beat the shit out of Tig and Kozic. Their bullshit pisses me off so I'm actually glad I don't have to deal with them. Heard you tossed a bottle at them when they wouldn't listen. Good for you. Glad your body is healing. You don't deserve to feel broken. Make sure the bitches around there know their place._

_I always behave._

_H_

* * *

"Savannah!"

I turned to see Tig smiling and waving. He had that stupid ass grin plastered all over his face when he was up to no good. I sighed and set the paperwork down I had been working on in the office.

"What do you want, Tig."

"Ouch. My heart, doll. Why you gotta be so mean to me?"

"Because I can tell you're up to no good. What do you want."

"For such a beautiful woman you are so so cold."

"I get it from my mother."

I crossed my arms across my chest like I had seen Gemma do a thousand times. She was the only woman around here that any of the guys respected so I figured if I was going to act like any of them, she was the one to follow.

"Jesus you look like her."

"Spit it out, Tig."

"Alright, alright. Listen, I've been thinking."

"Oh Jesus."

"Hey! Ouch! I wanna teach you how to box."

"Why?"

"'Cause I'm tired of seeing you so scared. I wanna teach you how to defend yourself. Then maybe they will let you get the job you actually want."

"What's in it for you?"

"Why do you automatically think I have some other motive?"

"Because I know you. Spill it."

"Kozic and I argued."

"What is new?"

"Well ya see I think you could kick anyone's ass with a little training."

"And Kozic?"

"He agrees. He just doesn't think I could train you."

"I'll think about it?"

"Really?!"

"Yes. Now go so I can work."

I watched Tig jump up and down for a few seconds then run out of the office. I shook my head and decided once and for all that I was surrounded by over grown children.

* * *

_Happy,_

_Man of few words I see. Thank you for writing back to me. Tig has been talking to me all morning about how much he hates Kozic. I spent hours last night listening to Kozic talk about how much he hates Tig. I think without these two I might be bored for a while._

_I started working at the garage so Gemma can take care of Able. Tara is working a lot of hours and she's been pretty sick with the pregnancy. I don't know how she does it. I think I'd rather just take care of myself._

_Tara wants to hire me as her assistant so she doesn't have to do as much paperwork. It would be better money for me but Gemma doesn't want me leaving the clubhouse alone. I understand where she is coming from but I am so tired of looking at the same place. One of the prospects goes with me but some of them are dumb as shit too. They just keep telling me we need to get back as soon as they see a car they don't like._

_I don't want to live like this forever._

_I started working out again. Gemma bought me a treadmill so I can run and not be in danger. She had set it up in the barroom but Tig was always heckling me about shit while I was trying to run. I asked Kozic to move it into my room for me._

_Tig wants to teach me how to box too. Thinks that I would feel better if I was able to protect myself. Mom doesn't think it's a good idea for me to be in the ring with a guy though. I guess Clay isn't too happy about the idea either._

_I had another checkup for my abdomen. They keep talking to me about being able to have children and my risks of being infertile. It makes me want to throw up. The idea of even being intimate with anyone again makes me want to die. I tried telling them that and they want me to go to a shrink now. Great right?_

_I hope everything is going well in there. Gemma keeps telling me not to worry. She said you have friends in there. I hope she's right._

_I hope it's not weird, but I miss you._

_Please behave._

_Savannah_

* * *

"Hey there lass."

I smiled when I saw Chibs standing in the doorway of my room. He was always so busy with working since everyone else was gone, but he always made time for me.

"Hey Chibby."

"Ya know, not many people could call me that and get away with it."

"Lucky me I guess then."

"Aye."

I looked back down and realized that he was still looking at me.

"Everything okay?"

"Aye. Just noticed you're different."

"Different?"

Chibs walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. He looked like he was trying to figure out something out.

"Ya cut yer hair?"

"No."

"Dye it?"

"No."

"Ah! I know what it is!"

"What?"

"Yer not afraid anymore, lass."

I looked at him like he was crazy. Of course I was still afraid. I had always been afraid.

"Hear me out. Do ya wake up scared?"

"I guess I wake up bored."

"Aye. Why is that?"

"Because I know exactly what I'm going to be doing. Working and staying here."

"And we make ya safe, aye?"

"I guess."

Chibs smiled at me and kissed my cheek. None of the guys got close to me but him. It wasn't weird though, it was almost more like he was a father to me.

"Hey Chibs?"

"Aye?"

"I think you're right. After everything I've been through.. I think I'm finally safe."

"Aye. I know ya are. Ain't nothin gonna happen to ya here sweet Savannah."

* * *

_Savannah,_

_Hey little sis. How are you? Sorry I haven't written sooner. Wasn't feeling the greatest after I got stabbed. I really hope they told you about that so this isn't a shock to you._

_Happy said you've been writing to him. He said TIg and Kozic are driving you crazy. Want me to take care of it for you? I know they're a pain in the ass but they will keep you safe. Always._

_I do have some good news for you. We might be getting out of here sooner than we originally thought. It isn't set in stone yet but we've been behaving even though I got stabbed. Judge really liked that I guess._

_I'm hoping I'm home before Thomas is born. I missed Abel being born. Did you know that? I didn't have much to do with his mother and she OD'd on heroin. Mom found her and she was rushed in for a C-section. We didn't know if he was going to make it with that and his heart being messed up. Mom calls it the fatal flaw. Our brother had it too. The baby seems okay though. They have been doing more tests to make sure he is good to go._

_How are you adjusting to life in Charming? I know it can be pretty boring when we aren't around. Mom said you've been staying at the clubhouse. I hope you know you can always stay at my house. I even talked to Tara. She is okay with it too ya know._

_Let me know how if you need anything, darlin._

_Jax_

* * *

"How ya doing there girly."

I smiled at Piney and sat next to him at the bar. Me and him always talked a lot. He was always there and honestly I was too. Even though I wasn't afraid anymore I still didn't really leave. Clay didn't want me to until the guys got out.

"I'm doing good, old man. How are you?"

"Old."

I laughed and smiled softly at the man. He had his demons but he always gave a shit about me. Him and his son had the biggest hearts I had ever seen. For outlaw bikers they sure were sweethearts.

"What's the plan for today?"

"I'm gonna clean up around here and then probably do some work in the office."

"Spend some time with my first. Go play some music."

I smiled and walked over to the juke box. I had noticed Piney liked older music. He was a man who liked to reminisce. It made me smile to see him lose himself in a bottle and a song.

 _Oh darling_  
Please believe me  
I'll never do you no harm  
Believe me when I tell you  
Ill never do you no harm

I watched Pineys face light up as he turned to look at me when the song started. He started laughing when I belted out the lyrics right along with the song. I had always loved The Beatles since I had been little. I walked over and held my hand out for Piney to dance with me.

"Well Christ, I can't turn down a beautiful woman when she asks me to dance."

We laughed and danced along with the song. He kept stepping on my toes and instead of getting mad it just made me laugh even harder. He was horrible at dancing but seeing him so animated made my heart happy.

When we turned I saw Gemma smiling at us with her arms crossed leaning on the bar. Chibs was right next to her laughing as he tossed his arm around Gemma's shoulders. I wasn't sure if I could see it, but it almost looked like Gemma was proud of me.

* * *

_Jax,_

_I'm doing okay. I'm better than okay actually. Jax, I'm happy. For the first time in my life I feel like I belong somewhere. I miss all of you guys like crazy but everyone that is here is more than kind to me._

_That would be amazing if you got out early! I won't get my hopes up but I'll hope for the best. Except the worse and hope for the best right?_

_Tara is doing great. She seemed a little shut off for a while but she's back around. She cut down on her hours at the hospital since she's getting further along so I see her and Abel more often. Abel is so amazing, Jax. I never knew I could love a little boy so much. He called me Aunt Anna. I always hated being called Anna but if that's what he wants to call me then I love it!_

_I finally got Kozic and Tig to calm down. I guess attacking them is what works with them. I swear they are children!_

_Mom is doing really good. She goes and see's Clay a lot but she's actually smiling and spending time with everyone else. She was so sad at first. It seems the more at home I feel the happier she is._

_I miss you so much Jax. Hurry up and get home so I can get to know you better!_

_Savannah_

* * *

I was sitting in the clubhouse reading a trashy romance novel when I heard bikes pulling in. I looked around and realized that no one was in there anymore. I hadn't noticed anyone leave though so I was confused. I walked outside and saw everyone outside watching the bikes pull in.

Gemma turned and smiled at me.

"Wanted to surprise you baby. You get so lost in your books it really wasn't hard."

"Wait! They're home!?"

Gemma smiled and nodded at me. I looked up to see Jax, Clay, Happy, Juice and everyone else pulling in. I knew they could be coming home early but had no idea it would be that early. I smiled bigger than I had ever smiled before.

I waited patiently with a smile as Jax walked right to Tara and pulled her into a huge hug around her giant belly. Clay walked to Gemma and kissed her passionately. Juice walked to Chibs where he was pulled into a giant hug and his now bald head was rubber. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Happy standing by his bike looking at me. I smiled at him and nodded unsure of how I should act around him. We had been writing back and forth but after I told him I missed him I didn't hear anything from it.

He motioned for me to go over to him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gemma whisper something to Clay and they both smiled. I walked over to Happy nervous of what was about to happen.

"Hi."

"After we write to eachother for months that's all I get?"

"I.. uh.."

Before I could figure out what to say Happy pulled me into a giant bear hug. I laughed as the quick movement and kicked my legs lightly wanting to be set down. He just hugged me tighter and I could feel his smile as his face was pressed up against mine.

"I missed you too, Savannah." He said quietly right before he set me down.

I felt my cheeks flare up beat red. I didn't want to look around but I could feel that everyone was looking at me. Opie had talked to me about Happy while he was in. From what he told me the killer wasn't one to show affection, let alone be nice to anyone. I had assumed he just felt bad about how he found me but I was assured that wasn't the case at all.

"Lets go get a drink boys!" Clay boomed above the crowd.

The cheers from everyone was deafening. I smiled up at Happy as he tossed his arm around my shoulders and led me towards the clubhouse. I all of a sudden felt nervous having everyone home. I had heard these parties could get crazy.


	4. Life Is Safer Alone

After a few hours, I needed to step outside to get some air. All the guys being home was overwhelming. There were women literally everywhere doing whatever the guys wanted. At first it made me blush but I got used to it much quicker than I had expected.

I sighed as I rest against the wall of the clubhouse. Everyone had been staring at me since Happy got back. I kept telling him to go have fun and do what he wanted to do but he just shook his head and stayed by my side. He had asked me so many questions. He wanted to know how things were going, if I had connected with any of the guys and if I had heard from Adam.

Talking about Adam made me nervous. It was almost like I felt like if I spoke about him, it would make him real. The truth was I hadn't heard from him. I wasn't sure that Happy believed me since I got so nervous about all of it.

Truth was that Happy made me nervous. He hadn't bene gone for that long. Just a few months. I wrote him a few letters and we sent messages back and forth with Tara and Gemma, but we didn't talk all that much. I had missed him though. I missed him a lot. I felt stupid for missing him so much when I barely knew him.

"You alright?"

I look up to see Happy leaning against the wall right next to me. I smile softly seeing that he noticed I was gone. I had snuck out quietly so I didn't distract anyone.

"Yeah I'm okay. Just needed some air."

"Not much of a party girl huh?"

"Never have been."

"I don't believe that. I bet you were a party girl in college."

I blushed and tried to hide it by changing the subject.

"Why are you out here?"

"Saw you leave. Wanted to make sure you're okay. Didn't want you out here alone."

"You should really go have fun, Happy."

"I was having fun."

"Talking to me about the past few months? I really didn't do much."

"You're different."

"Yeah, Chibs said the same thing."

"Well he's right. You're like a whole different person now."

"Is.. is that a bad thing?"

I watched Happy smile softly. It seemed strange on his face but it met his eyes. He moved his hand towards my face slowly and I could tell he was seeing if I was going to jump or flinch. I inhaled slightly when his hand cupped my face and his thumb brushed across my cheek.

"No, Savannah. You have a spark in your eyes that I never thought was possible. You look like a woman who isn't scared of everything anymore."

I felt my cheeks flush and I couldn't keep eye contact anymore. I looked down at my feet and shift my weight from leg to leg. I liked Happys hand on my face but I felt incredibly embarrassed. Chibs, Tig and Kozic had all been physically affectionate with me to an extent. This felt different though.

"Still shy I see."

I looked back up at Happy and saw him smirking. I instantly felt my face get even hotter.

"Ugh. Yeah. Sorry."

I pulled away from his hand and shifted so I wanted looking at him anymore.

"What are you sorry for?"

"I'm so awkward."

"Yeah, but it's kind of cute."

"Cute? Happy Lowman thinks something is cute?"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I've heard some stories."

"Stories?"

"Only a few."

"I'll have to kick their asses later for that."

"Oh is mister tall dark and handsome mad that I found out all about him?"

I surprised myself by letting that slip out of my mouth. Happy laughed and rolled his eyes. He had a dangerous smirk playing across his face and It made my stomach drop. I wasn't afraid of him but it made me nervous deep in the pit of my stomach.

"You don't know the half of it yet, girl."

I had the feeling that there was a lot that I didn't want to know about Happy. The mystery and curiosity that this man brought out in me drove me wild though. My brain was telling me that I needed to back off and let it go. There was this fire inside of me though. That fire wanted to dance with the devil in front of me even though she knew I would probably get burned.

"What's going through that pretty little head of yours?"

"Uh. Nothing. Just tired I guess."

"I don't believe that for a second."

I looked up at him with wide eyes wondering how he could read me so well. I was always so careful of my facial expressions. I only ever showed someone what I wanted to. No one knew anything about me in my past life and I liked it that way. Yet, here was this man. He was looking at me and seeing right through my façade.

"I'll drop it Savannah. I won't push you."

"You seem like the pushing type."

"I normally am. Don't usually take no for an answer from anyone. I have a lot of respect for you though. You're a tough bitch. I saw you at your worst. Now I'm seeing you on your way to the best. Don't wanna push you away and miss the ride."

He smirked at me then walked back inside. My heart was pounding in my chest listening to his words. He was dangerous. Every part of my head was telling me that. He had always been sweet to me but between the stories I had been told and his lack of holding back like he had done before; I was beginning to see the real Happy. Why was I so drawn to him?

* * *

I was curled up in bed listening to the party go on outside of my door. A few months ago, I would have been pissed that it was so loud. The sound made me happy though. It meant that everyone was back home and safe. I had my whole family back. A family I had no idea even existed to me.

Happy had poked his head in earlier to see if I was okay. I assured him I was but I just needed to get some sleep. I figured I would get up early and clean up so none of the guys needed to. It was their night after all.

What I didn't tell Happy was how nervous I felt around him. I was sure that he could see it, but admitting it was a whole different ball game. Admitting that would lead to admitting how much I missed him. Then I would have to figure out why I missed him so much. I just wasn't ready for that.

Tig had told me a lot about Happy. He was their enforcer, meaning anyone that needed "taken care of" usually met Happy. He didn't tell me exactly what that meant, but I knew enough about the club and Happys nick name to know what that meant.

I also had learned that Happy didn't do relationships. In fact, other than his mother, he barely even spoke to women. I was told he barely spoke at all. He was one of the biggest guys to just grab one of the women around the club, get what he wanted then toss them out of his room.

Why hadn't he done that when he got back? I had braced myself for the likelihood that he would have some woman, barely clothed, hanging all over him. It hadn't happened though. At least not while I was out there. I was pretty thirsty but I didn't want to risk going out and seeing that. He could do what he wanted, but I couldn't guarantee that it wouldn't sting a bit.

I couldn't be that for him. I almost had a panic attack just when someone put their hand on my shoulder let alone being intimate. Part of me wished that I could be like the women out in the clubhouse. They seemed so open and free. I didn't always agree with their tactics or their lack of self-esteem but they could have fun and have no self-esteem. I wasn't able to accomplish either.

It made me frustrated and relieved all at the same time. I would never be more to any of the guys than the scared girl that Gemma and Clay hid from everyone. At the same time, I found peace in that. It meant that none of them would ever expect more from me. I didn't have to impress anyone and I'd never have to let any of them in fully.

Life was safer alone.

I rolled over and shut my eyes hoping that sleep would stop my mind from racing. It was incredibly hard to shut my brain off sometimes.

* * *

I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed. I smiled realizing that everyone was home. All those months of waiting were finally over. Then I remembered how trashed the clubhouse was likely to be. I got dressed quickly into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. I tossed my hair up into a messy bun and slipped my flip flops on.

I stepped out into the hallway and saw that the prospects and women already had mostly everything cleaned. I laughed seeing the guys passed out all over the place. Tig was on the pool table and Bobby was on the bar. The whole place smelled horrible so I walked over to open up some windows.

I noticed that Jax and Opie were gone. Made sense though since they had families to worry about. I was brave and looked around for Happy but I didn't see him. I heard the door open and saw Clay walk in.

"Jesus, you'd think we'd been locked up for years."

I laughed lightly at him and continued to open the windows.

"Why you up so early, Savannah?"

"I went to bed early. I'm not much of a party girl."

"Good. These guys are stupid when they drink."

"I noticed."

"Come sit with me for a while."

"Want some coffee?"

"Sure."

I walked into the kitchen and smiled at the women cleaning in there. I had been warned they were assholes but they all were nice to me. Gemma assured me that as soon as I caught the eye of one of the guys that would change. I thought she was crazy. I grabbed two cups of coffee and walked back out, sitting next to clay at a table.

"Thanks hun."

"No problem."

"So, how you holding up?"

"I'm okay. It took some time getting used to everything, especially when you all left but I made it."

"You seem happier."

"I am. It's been nice getting to know mom more. Tig keeps calling me baby Gemma."

"Yeah I heard you started to take some pages out of her book. Doesn't surprise me. You were always a little spitfire when you were a baby."

"I was?"

"Oh yeah. I could barely even get near your mother. You didn't want anyone near her except Jax. If she wasn't around you liked me but as soon as she walked in the door you would start swinging until you got to her."

"I didn't know that."

"Suppose you wouldn't without one of us telling you."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Why did you guys keep Jax but send me away?"

I watched Clays face fall. I had wanted to ask the question a million times before, but never had the balls to do so. I always figured I would end up asking Gemma, but the words just spilled out of my mouth.

"Jax was born into this. His dad was the president before me. They didn't really have any family other than what was here. This is a mans world for the most part, Savannah. Women don't usually get close. Your mother was always the exception but.. People around us get hurt. There is no sugar coating it. We wanted so much more for you than to be here."

"So it wasn't because mom was still with Jax's dad?"

"I'd be lying if I said that wasn't part of it. The club was in a really dark place when you were born, Savannah. A lot of people got hurt around then and a lot of people didn't make it through the wars."

"You know you could tell me if you just didn't want me right?"

"Savannah Morrow. Don't you ever talk like that again. Your mother and I love you, kid. We're not perfect but we will always do what we think is right for you."

"Alright."

"Don't believe me do you?"

"I'm trying to."

"Well keep trying, kid. You got plenty of time to work through all this shit. You aren't going anywhere."

"Yeah."

"You heard from that douchebag at all?"

"No. It's not like he knows where I am though."

"Think he would look for you?"

"I don't know. I've never left before."

"I'll have Juice do some digging. If we can make sure this asshole isn't going to be a problem, you won't need to be locked up here all the time."

"Really?"

"Yeah. As much as I love the guys they aren't the kind of guys I want my daughter around all the time."

"Dad, I'm in my twenties. It's not like I don't know stuff like this happens."

"Yeah, well doesn't mean I'm okay with my daughter being part of it."

"I'm not really part of it, but okay."

"So you aren't a part of Happy's life?"

I feel my face flush. I wasn't even sure how to answer that question myself, let alone telling my father the answer.

"I uh. No?"

"You don't sound very sure of yourself Savannah."

"We aren't anything that I know of."

"You wrote him a lot while he was gone."

"Well it's not like I could go visit him. I wrote to Jax too."

"I saw the way you two act together. I'm not stupid or blind. I used to look at your mother the same way when I was chasing after her."

"No one is chasing anyone da-"

"Have you two had sex?"

"Woah! Alright. This conversation is over dad. Seriously. You weren't there to give me the talk when I was a kid and I'm sure as hell not listening to it now. As far as I'm concerned, none of this is your business. If I ever choose to be with someone again, that will be my business entirely."

I went to walk away but Clay grabbed my arm roughly. I looked at him with wide eyes. He barely talked to me, let alone putting his hands on me.

"I know you don't get how things work here yet, so I'll let that one slide. This is my damn club, and my damn rules. As long as you're in Charming you will listen to me. I am getting really fucking sick of women around here not respecting me and I'll be damned if my daughter thinks she can talk back to me. You will be with who I say you're with when I want you with them. End of story. Got it?"

I was speechless. I nodded my head and tried to blink the tears away. Clay had never been like that with me and all it accomplished was making me flash back to Adam. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Happy and Jax standing in the doorway of the chappel and they both looked pissed.

"Clay, what the fuck is going on?" Jax yelled

Clay let go of my arm and pulled me in to an embrace. He was seriously trying to play off the threat he just gave me. I stayed standing stiff and didn't try to hide the discomfort from my face.

"Just having a little chat with my daughter. None of your concern."

"She's my sister, Clay. It absolutely is my concern. Savannah sweetheart, why don't you go to the store with Happy. There is a list in the kitchen of what the clubhouse needs."

"Okay Jax."

I kept my eyes to the ground as I walked past the two men. I could feel the tension between the two and it was making me feel incredibly uncomfortable. I walked quickly into the kitchen to grab the paper. By the time I turned around, Happy was standing in the doorway waiting for me. He kept his face neutral but his eyes were softer than when he was looking at me and Clay before. He put his hand on my lower back and stayed in between myself and my family. When we got out the door he stepped in front of me and put his hands on my shoulders.

"You okay?"

"I think so."

He looked down and saw the hand print starting to form on my arm and frowned.

"You bruise too easily."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Cut that shit out. You didn't grab your arm and bruise it."

I nodded, not wanting to argue with him but not feeling any differently. Clay made it known that he was a hard ass, but I never thought he would put his hands on me. I wanted to cry. I looked up to see Gemma walking over with a smile on her face. She looked into my eyes and her face fell.

"Baby whats wrong?"

"Nothing"

"Not nothing. Look at her arm Gem."

"Who the fuck!?" she yelled. "Was it that bastard Adam again? I'll fucking kill him."

"No mom! Adam isn't anywhere around here."

"Then who the hell did this!"

I watched Gemma get pissed and look at Happy. She wanted her answers before she even asked the questions like usual. I didn't want to come in between the two of them though. It was over. I knew not to mess with Clay and would just avoid him.

"Happy who the hell did this to her?"

"Clay."

Gemma's face turned a whole new shade of red. She tossed her purse up on her shoulder and stomped her heel covered feet towards the clubhouse. I could hear her and Jax yelling from inside.

"I don't need you to save me, Happy."

"Yes you do. Now get your ass in the van."

I rolled my eyes and walked away from him towards the van. I hated that he told Gemma, though deep down I knew she wouldn't have just let it go. Jax and Clay had been on edge though I didn't know why. I climbed into the van and angled myself to look out the window. I didn't want to look at Happy but I could feel him staring at me.

"I had to tell her, Savannah."

"I know."

"Mad at me?"

"Yes."

"Mad at me or the situation.

"Both I guess."

"You'll get over it. Clay had no right to put his hands on you."

"He's my father. He can do what he wants."

"No. Fuck that. Savannah please look at me."

I looked over but crossed my arms across my chest. I looked past him at first but finally made eye contact. I wanted him to know I wasn't happy.

"He's my president. I can't do much. Even as much as I have done today will get my ass in trouble. Just know that I'm here for you. Alright?"

"You were part of the fight."

"What?"

"He kept asking me if we had a thing and then asked if we were sleeping together. I told him it wasn't any of his business and that's when he snapped. Told me that I will be with who he wants when he wants it. Said as a woman in his life I have no say in my life."

I saw Happy roll his jaw and his eyes go even darker. I didn't think that was possible. His eyes were already almost black most of the time. Sometimes they lightened up, but only if we were completely alone and he was smiling at me.

"I can't fix this shit for you Savannah. I wish I could."

"I don't need saving."

"You need to talk to Jax later. When we get back you tell him you need to talk to him and tell him everything."

"I don't need Jax to save me either."

"I can't explain everything, just please do what I'm asking you."

I was prepared to fight with him. Then he asked me to do something, instead of telling me. Even though I got along with the rest of the guys, they still usually told me what to do. I kept thinking to myself that Happy was the first guy to actually ask me to do something.

"Okay."

Happy smiled at me and pat my leg gently before starting to van. As we were pulling away I realized that I was leaving the clubhouse. With Happy. Alone. I tried to hide the grin but I was sure he saw it since he started smiling too.


	5. I'll Always Save You

I had been swinging outside of the clubhouse for a few hours at that point. I went shopping with Happy and picked up everything the clubhouse needed. It made me uncomfortable how everyone stared at me. Happy told me it was because of who he was, but that didn't give me any comfort.

When we got back, Clay was gone. Gemma and Jax were talking at the picnic table. They seemed upset so I just walked into the clubhouse and snuck past them later to swing. It didn't matter how much Happy told me none of it was my fault, I just couldn't believe him. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Jax walking towards me.

"Hey sis."

"Hey."

He sat on the swing next to me and sighed.

"I'm sorry you had to see Clay like that."

"I shouldn't have mouthed off I guess."

"No, fuck that. You're a grown ass woman, Savannah. He had no right to talk to you like that, let alone put his hands on you."

"Jax I'm lost. I feel like all of this is my fault. If it would be easier for me to leave-"

"Absolutely not. Even if we weren't afraid of Adam showing up, you aren't leaving your family because of him. Shit has been sideways between me and him for a while. I don't want you to form your opinion on him because of our shit. Just know that you didn't start anything."

I nodded and looked at my feet. I had noticed they weren't on the best terms but I couldn't help but feel like it was my fault.

"Why don't you come stay at our house. It will keep you clear of Clay for a while and I know Tara could use the help with Abel."

"She wouldn't mind?"

"Of course not."

"What about being alone? Clay wanted Juice to look into what is going on with Adam, but he isn't going to approve me being alone."

"I'll keep someone with you during the day."

"If it would be easier for me to stay here I will. I know you guys are busy."

"Never too busy to make sure you're safe, little sister."

I smiled at him believing every word he said. Jax was always so strong. I wanted to be like him in that aspect. I was glad to be getting to know him more but I still did feel out of place. I wondered when I would actually start to fit in. I started to feel it while the guys were in Stockton, but it disappeared as soon as everyone came back.

"So what is going on with you and Happy?"

"Why does everyone keep asking that?"

"You two are close. Considering he barely even talks to anyone that is saying a lot."

"He's just nice to me."

"Which also means something, Savannah."

"Honest answer?"

"Yes."

"I don't know."

"Do you like spending time with him."

"Yeah."

"Then that's all that matters. No need to complicate shit."

"Not that I could be more than that with him anyway."

"Why not?"

"Jax.. I can't be what he would want. I'm not like the women here. The idea of even holding hands with someone scares me. I couldn't have sex out in public like the chicks here."

"Don't think he wants that, Savannah. If he did then he wouldn't be spending time with you. He'd be getting what he wanted from them."

"I think you're reading too far into it."

"If you say so. I know Hap though. You mean something to him if he is being kind to you."

I wasn't sure what to say so I just shrugged. I doubted that was the last time anyone would bring up Happy Lowman to me. There was a huge part that just wanted to ignore him to make the questions stop. I knew I couldn't do that though. Especially when I couldn't keep the smile off my face every time I looked at him.

* * *

I was walking into the clubhouse when I felt a hand grab my arm. I assumed it was one of the guys. Tig and Kozic had gotten into it earlier that day and they always ran to me about it. I rolled my eyes and stumbled along as the hand dragged me to the side of the clubhouse.

There was a party full swing and I didn't want to be there. Clay was back and was incredibly drunk. He and Gemma had another screaming match which ended in her slapping him and leaving. Jax left to go spend the night with Tara. He wanted me to go with him but I had figured they needed a night alone. Thomas would make his appearance soon and then the whole infant stage would be back. I had hoped Happy would be there, but Clay sent him and Juice on a run somewhere.

"Listen, I saw the fight earlier and I just don't-"

My eyes adjusted to the dark and I realized that it wasn't Tig or Kozic gripping my arm. I looked into the eyes of the man holding me and felt nothing but fear. His eyes were angry and red from alcohol. It was one thing when she had just made him mad. Now he was here, mad and drunk.

"Adam plea-"

"Shut the fuck up and be quiet."

Adam dragged me more trying to get me off the lot. A Sons party was the perfect time to grab me. I had always thought that. In fact, the parties were always nerve wracking for me. Always so many people that I didn't know and no one really paying attention.

We made it to the gate when we heard bikes rolling up. I heard Adam grumble and try to pull me faster. I had never been brave around him before, but the sound of the bikes knowing it could be Happy made me grab onto the gate with everything I had. I let out a scream for help but I barely heard it between Adam yelling and the music from the clubhouse. I didn't pay attention to what Adam was saying until I felt a sharp pain in my side.

Everything was moving in slow motion.

I looked down to see a knife sticking out of my ribcage. It hurt. I mean, Adam had hurt me before but this was a whole new level.

I couldn't breathe.

"I told you to listen to me, Savannah. Now you can die right out of reach. They can't hear you, and they won't."

I watched him run down the road. I knew enough about the human anatomy that he had punctured my lung. I could live off one lung if I had to but the pain was making it hard to keep my eyes open. Passing out was the worst thing I could do so I focused on the sound of the bikes.

They were getting closer. I prayed to whatever higher power was out there to help me stay awake. I focused on imaging Happy roll up and run to me. I imagined telling him everything I felt for him.

It was in that moment I realized I liked him much more than a friend. The idea of passing out and never seeing him again was breaking my heart. My mind flashed to Jax and Tara. Abel. Thomas. If I gave in at that moment I would never meet Thomas. I would never stop another fight between Tig and Kozic. I would never see my mom smile at me.

If this had been even 9 months before, I would have gladly accepted the fate. I would have shut my eyes and let it take me. I had a family though.

I had a family.

The realization that there were people who loved me and I loved just as much gave me the strength to stand up and move into the middle of the opening of the gate. As soon as I did headlights hit me and I brought my arm up to shield from the light. The engines cut almost instantly and I heard Happy through the ringing in my ears. My body became too heavy to hold up and I started to fall. I felt strong arms catch me and cradle my body.

"Savannah! Jesus Christ, Juice go get the guys! Call an ambulance! Savannah stay with me."

"I'm here Hap. I'm here. I knew you would come save me."

"I'll always save you Savannah. Who did this to you? Was it Adam?"

"My lung is punctured. Don't let me fall asleep. Don't let me die. Please."

"I won't. We're going to get you help. Hear the siren? That means they're coming for you."

"Normally sirens mean trouble for you."

I tried laughing but I started coughing. I saw Happys face twist into a pained look as he wiped something wet from the corner of my mouth. I frowned knowing that I had just coughed up blood. I hated that look on his face. My own pain was enough, but knowing I had hurt him was killing me.

My eyes started fluttering. I was so tired and cold. The cold had never bothered me, but this did. I was beginning to fade and I knew it. I barely even noticed that I was still in Happys arms. I felt my eyes shut and the pain started going away.

"Savannah damn it wake up! They're here. They're gonna help you!"

* * *

_"_ _What happened?"_

_"_ _I don't know. I came up and she collapsed. I saw the knife in her side. She told me her lung was punctured. Can you help her? Please help her."_

_"_ _We're gonna do everything we can, sir. Do you want to ride with?"_

_"_ _Yes. Have the hospital call Dr Knowles. She's Savannah's sister in law."_

_"_ _Sit back, sir. We're gonna get her to the hospital."_

* * *

_"_ _Dr. Knowles, we're bringing her into surgery right now. She's your boyfriends sister?"_

_"_ _She's my sister. I'm scrubbing to come in."_

_"_ _Is that wise with how far along you are?"_

_"_ _I'd be more stressed not knowing what's going on. When Jax gets here, tell him everything."_

_"_ _Yes, Doctor."_

* * *

_"_ _Tara! Is she.."_

_"_ _We fixed everything. She lost a lot of blood but I think she's going to be okay. We will know more by morning."_

_"_ _Jesus Christ. Who did this?"_

_"_ _Happy said he thinks it was Adam. She didn't answer him but she didn't say it wasn't him either."_

_"_ _Alright. I'll talk to him. He's talking to Unser and Hale right now."_

_"_ _Did you call Gemma?"_

_"Yeah she's on her way. Took me over three hours to get ahold of her. She had shut her phone off and drank herself into a stupor after fighting with Clay."_

_"_ _I'll wait in here for her then."_

_"_ _Alright babe. You okay? With the surgery?"_

_"_ _Yeah. I'm okay."_

_"_ _I love you, Tara."_

_"_ _I love you too, Jaxson."_

* * *

_"_ _She alright, doc?"_

_"_ _Yeah. I think so. She isn't in the clear yet though. If she's anything like her brother and mother then she will be fine."_

_"_ _She kept begging me not to let her die."_

_"_ _I'm sorry, Hap. We're going to do everything we can."_

_"_ _I know, doc. You've patched us up from worse."_

_"_ _That is true."_

_"_ _She's strong. Stronger than anyone gives her credit for."_

_"_ _I really hope so."_

* * *

_"_ _Gemma."_

_"_ _Tara. Oh! Savannah! What the hell happened to my baby?!"_

_"_ _They think it was Adam."_

_"_ _That fucking asshole. I told Clay we needed to kill him."_

_"_ _She should be okay."_

_"_ _She better be. You were in there for the surgery?"_

_"_ _Yeah."_

_"_ _Thank you, Tara."_

_"_ _I couldn't stand out in the hallway not knowing anything."_

_"_ _I don't think I would have been able to either. Was there a lot of damage?"_

_"_ _Punctured lung. Lung filled with blood which is why she was coughing it up. Scared the hell out of Happy."_

_"_ _Jesus. The killer being afraid."_

_"_ _I know right? I'm gonna go see how Jax and the guys are doing."_

_"_ _Alright. Oh, baby girl. Please pull through this. I just got you back."_

* * *

_"_ _Is she okay?"_

_"_ _Nice of you to show up. Decided to be father of the year?"_

_"_ _Gem, cut the shit."_

_"_ _No. You should have been protecting her instead of hurting her."_

_"_ _I'm not the one who fucking stabbed her."_

_"_ _You may as well have been. How did this happen? I thought you were keeping tabs on Adam."_

_"_ _He must have slipped our intel. Don't for a second think that I would let this happen."_

_"_ _But it did Clay. The exact thing we didn't want to happen when we had her happened. She might not even pull through this!"_

_"_ _Gem, she's just like you. She's gonna make it."_

_"_ _I want his head, Clay."_

_"_ _I know baby. I know."_

* * *

_"_ _It's so quiet in here."_

_"_ _I know. You mind sitting with her? I need to take a piss and get some coffee."_

_"_ _Yeah we can sit in here."_

_"_ _No fighting."_

_"_ _We promise."_

_"_ _Hey doll, it's me. Tig. I got Kozic here too."_

_"_ _Yeah I'm here."_

_"_ _Ya gotta wake up, doll. We need ya."_

_"_ _Yeah, who the hell is going to keep us in line?"_

_"_ _I've never seen Hap so scared, Savannah."_

_"_ _Me either. Not even in Tacoma."_

_"_ _We talked it over and if you wake up, we promise we'll stop fighting."_

_"_ _At least for a week."_

_"_ _Yeah at least a week. No promises after that though. Just please wake up. We need ya so much."_


	6. The Queen of Avoidance

I had been listening to everyone talk to me for what seemed like years. I wasn't sure if I had died but it wasn't like some translucent state. I couldn't see anything and I wasn't floating above anyone. I just heard everyone.

I hated how upset everyone was. I knew something must be seriously wrong if Tig and Kozic were agreeing not to fight. I wanted to smile and I tried but I didn't think that it reached my face. I thought about moving my fingers too but I was just too damn tired. I thought I heard Tara and the other doctors talking about how they sedated me but it all seemed like a dream anyway.

I heard the door open and heavy footsteps come in. It had been quiet for a while. I wasn't sure if anyone had stayed in the room. Normally that would annoy me, but the darkness my closed eyes was giving me felt good.

I focused on the footsteps again and noticed they were getting closer. Part of me was afraid that Adam had found me and decided to finish the job. His footsteps were never that heavy though. They were boots. I assumed it was one of the guys since they always had boots on. Except Jax. Jax wore the same pair of white sneakers no matter what he was doing. They were loose and I always wondered how he ran in them.

"Hey."

Happy. I could never mistake his voice.

"I don't know if you can hear me or not. It's been a few days. Doc said your vitals are good but you just haven't woken up yet."

Okay so I was alive. Good to know.

"Everyone is really worried about you. You had lost a lot of blood."

That I did know. I think I had coughed up blood at one point too.

"Tara went into the operating room with you. Told her boss that it would stress her too much to wait in the hallway. Think she was just afraid that she wouldn't see you again."

She did? She was so close to her due date. Not that it could hurt Thomas being in there, but imagining her super pregnant trying to scrub in made me smile.

"Savannah? You in there?"

Had the smile reached my face? I had tried smiling before but it didn't work. Happy seemed to have reacted like I did though.

"Savannah smile again for me."

I felt his hand touch mine and I gently squeezed his. I felt him tighten his hand around mine and squeeze hard. The sensation was borderline painful, but it was nice to feel something.

"Savannah, I'm here. I'm gonna go get a doctor though. I'll be right back. I promise I'll just be a second!"

"Don't go."

I surprised myself by forming words. I heard Happy stop moving and I was afraid he left.

"Please. Don't go."

"I won't. I'm here. I'll press the button for the nurse."

"Okay. Just wait. I want a few minutes before they start poking and prodding me."

"Okay. I'll wait."

My throat was sore and I didn't sound like myself. I wanted to tell Happy everything. I wanted to yell that Adam was the one who hurt me. I wanted to tell Hap that he was what held me together. I wanted him to get Jax and everyone else. I just couldn't.

"Can you open your eyes?"

I fought to open my eyes. My lids seemed so heavy as I pushed them open. The light was bright and I turned my head to try to avoid the light. I tried to not blink, but it seemed like I was blinking a mile a minute.

"Ugh, how long have I been out?"

"It's been a few days."

"I heard all of you talking. You were the only one sure I would wake up."

My eyes adjusted to the light and I was able to focus on his face. His eyes were soft. It was a different look than the last one I had seen. I remembered him looking so scared. His eyes had been pitch black. I thought maybe it was how hurt I was, but the more I thought about it the clearer it was.

"Because I know how tough you are."

"I don't feel very tough right now."

"You will. I gotta get a doc, Savannah. Want me to grab Tara?"

"Yeah. She won't freak out."

"Alright."

"Hey, Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad it was you that found me."

"Me too."

* * *

I spent two weeks in the hospital. The day I was released was the day Tara went in to have Thomas. I wanted to wait to see him, but Jax ordered me to go home. He wanted me to stay with them, but I knew I would be more of a hindrance with Thomas being there than help. I decided to stay at the clubhouse even though Gemma was pissed.

She wanted me to stay at her house. I outright refused. Two weeks in the hospital let me think about how Clay talked to me. He acted exactly like Adam. I knew that he didn't put the knife in my side, but if he was anything like Adam I wanted nothing to do with him.

He had tried visiting me. It was kind of childish, but I asked the nurse to make him leave. She seemed surprised since everyone else was club related but I repeated myself. I didn't want anything to do with him. Gemma asked me to give him a chance, but I refused that too.

Happy was posted in my room most of the time. I wasn't sure if it was orders or if he wanted to be there. He asked me a million questions while I was awake. Sometimes he wanted to know all about Adam. Other times he wanted to know all about me. I felt like I should have been asking him questions too, but by the time I finished answering him I was too tired to keep talking.

When we got to the clubhouse, I noticed that there was a new gate. It seemed expensive and had a ton of electric wires going to it. Happy told me they installed it to keep me safer. I felt horrible that someone had spent money on me. I was already an inconvenience; they didn't need to splurge on me.

It had been a few days since I got all set up, but no one was letting me do anything. I wasn't allowed to work, cook or clean. Anytime I got up to do something, someone ran over and did it for me. I was starting to go stir crazy. I had wanted to go see Tara and Thomas but that was shot down as well. I thought about climbing up on the roof to get some peace, but figured that would hurt too much.

I had resigned to laying in my room and playing on the new computer Juice bought me. I wasn't sure if he was the one to actually fork the money over, but he was the one who handed it to me. He had installed a bunch of games, and installed World of Warcraft for me with a year subscription. I had loved playing it in college, but Adam hated it so I quit.

"You've been sitting here for at least six hours without moving."

I looked over to see Happy with his arms crossed in the doorway. He didn't seem angry, just his normal self. I smile and pressed log out on the menu screen. He was right. I had been playing for a long time.

"Yeah. I can do whatever I want on the game."

"Guess I get your frustration."

"Do you? You can do what you want."

"I was just in prison, Savannah."

I felt my face blush. I was being unfair.

"I'm sorry. You're right. You were locked up for months and I've been sitting here for a few weeks."

"Try years. That wasn't my first stint in Stockton."

"Really?"

"Yep."

He walked into the room and sat on the edge of my bed. I shut my laptop and moved it onto the table next to me. I winced when I turned to the side, forgetting how much my side still hurt.

"That right there is why you can't do anything around here, Savannah."

"I know. I forget that it hurts. I'm not mad at you guys for protecting me, I'm just frustrated."

Happy hut his hand on my blanket covered leg and nodded.

"We know. You aren't the first person to get pissed at us for protecting them."

"Oh the life you all lead."

"You don't even know the half of it."

I chuckled in agreement. I knew that I didn't even want to know half of it.

"You talk to Clay?"

"No."

"Ah, there's cold Savannah."

"I'm not being cold."

"Yeah you are. Not that I blame you."

"He's just as bad as Adam. After the stabbing bullshit, I am not having anything to do with anyone who acts like that. Never again."

I looked at Happy to see him staring at me. His hand was rubbing my leg. The closeness and attention was making my cheeks flush. I knew that there was no way I could even get away from him with how my side was. I was being forced to deal with everything.

"No one expects you to deal with that, Savannah. No one is gonna treat you like that again. Not if I can help it."

"No offense Happy, but you aren't going to protect me from Clay. We both know that. You wear that cut and he wears the president tab. That means more than your good intentions towards me."

I watched Happys face darken. I hated it. I hated saying those words but they were the truth.

"If you don't trust me then you should at least trust Jax."

"Same goes for him. You guys have done so much for me but in the end, whatever Clay says, goes. The only reason you were with me in the hospital is because Clay gave you the order."

"That what you think?"

"That's what I know! None of you do anything without his approval!"

"You're right on that but I was there because I wanted to be."

"What? Why?"

"Haven't I made it obvious?"

"Made what obvious? All that is obvious to me is that Clay runs shit and that means I need to fall into place. Nothing else even makes sense around here."

"Savannah just shut up for a minute."

"Don't you dare fucking talk to me like that."

"Jesus Christ. PLEASE shut up for a minute."

I was seeing red. I had just made it clear no one was going to talk to me like that and here he was talking to me like a piece of property. I was sure part of it was my nerves. I was alone with him and unable to escape. Gemma was the queen of SAMCRO and I was the queen of avoidance.

"Savannah, there has only been one moment of time that I was around you because I was told to be. That was when Jax and I went to get you. Even then I didn't mind. The second I picked you up off the floor while you were trying to tell us not worry about you, I wanted to be there. I watched you change every moment you were away from Adam. When you raced up to the truck to tell me to behave, it made me actually smile. Know how many other women can do that?"

"I don't know."

"My mother. That's it. I watched you change in your letters to me, which kept me sane by the way. You gave me a reason to keep my nose clean and to keep my temper in check. I would have been more than happy to rip through a thousand men just to keep myself entertained. I wouldn't though because you asked me to come back in your own weird way."

I stayed silent and listened to him. Even though Happy always spoke to me, he had never spoke so frankly with me.

"Then when I saw that damn smile on your face when I got back, I realized that you missed me just as much as I missed you. I have spent all my free time with you because I wanted to. No one told me to stay up late listening to your stories. No one told me to tell you about my past or my family. No one told me to do shit for you, other than to protect you if something happened."

I was speechless. I had seen Happy pissed before but I was realized it was more than that. He was hurt.

"When I pulled up to you and saw that knife sticking out of your side, I wanted to die. I could see the light fading from you and it was killing me. Absolutely tearing me apart. I wanted to pull some stupid ass Romeo and Juliet bullshit and kill myself before you even died. Seeing you die would have been the worst thing I had ever seen, and I have seen and done some seriously fucked up shit, Savannah."

"You were the only person I wanted to find me."

"What?"

"I yelled for help but I knew that you were the one I wanted to find me. If I was going to die it was you I wanted to say goodbye to."

I watched Happy move closer to me and gently pull me closer to him. He put one hand on my lower back to support me, and the other on the left side of my face while he looked me in the eyes. My heart was racing and every fiber of my body was telling me to pull away and get as far from him as possible. I stayed frozen in place unsure of what to do.

"I would die to make sure you live, Savannah. No one told me to do that. No one told me to feel this way."

"And what way would that be?"

My words came out as a light whisper. It was almost as if I had forgotten how to speak normally.

"I don't do relationships. I don't do connections. I fuck who I want and I do what the club asks me to do."

"I wasn't askin-"

"But I would do anything for you. Aside from the club, I would give up and change anything and everything about myself if that made you happy. I know you think I changed your life when I picked you up off the floor, but you changed mine too."

Before I knew what was happening, Happy had pressed his lips to mine. His touch ignited the flame inside of me, but so much more than before. I felt it burning through me and it stopped my breath. He held his lips to mine but didn't push any further. When he pulled away he looked at me and stayed close. I tried to stop looking so shocked, but I was sure I looked like a deer in the headlights.

"I know you've been through some really nasty shit. I've seen some of it. I'm not naïve enough to think that my presence alone is going to make you suddenly feel better. I don't expect anything from you. I just ask for a chance to show you I'm not like Adam or Clay."

"Happy.. I.. I can't give you what you want."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not like the women around here. I can't just whip my clothes off and parade myself around. I don't even think I'm at a place where I could have sex.. I can't satisfy you in the ways you're used to being satisfied. I don't drink or party. I'm just plain Savannah."

"If I wanted that I could get it at any moment. That isn't what I want. When I held you on the ground out there.. I realized then being afraid of how I feel for you is stupid. I'm not afraid of running into a gun fight but I was afraid of telling you I felt a hell of a lot more for you than I had ever felt for any woman. Even more so I was terrified of losing you."

"Hap.."

"I won't push it. But I'm not giving up either. You were right. I don't take no for an answer very often."

"I didn't say no.. I just.."

"You didn't say yes either. We're gonna get you through this shit, Savannah. I'm not letting you live a life full of fear and regret."

He kissed my forehead and up until that moment I didn't realize a kiss to the forehead could be so passionate. He carefully helped me lay back down where I was at before he got up and walked away. My face felt like someone had caught it on fire with a blow torch. I couldn't believe what had just happened.

I was barely able to come to terms with my own feelings, and here he was confessing his to me. Everyone had told me, with much fewer words, that there had to be more than I was seeing. Why couldn't I see it that way? All I could see was in the end, me being alone because I was never going to be good enough.


	7. There Was No Going Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***VIOLENCE ALERT.*** If you haven't read anything of mine before, I am very careful to put trigger warnings up. There is talk of UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS. The first three parts are okay, BUT THE LAST PART HAS VULGAR CONVERSATION, TALKS OF SEXUAL VIOLENCE AND THEN PHYSICAL VIOLENCE.
> 
> IF ANY OF THAT IS A TRIGGER FOR YOU, PLEASE SKIP IT! I always make sure the chapter after explains what happens without the triggers and as ALWAYS if you need to talk to someone, please reach out to me. You are NOT alone and I am ALWAYS willing to be a crying shoulder.
> 
> That being said, this is SOA. SOA is bloody and violent. In the true fashion of SOA, here is the chapter.

I spent the rest of the day hiding in my room. I would have loved to be able to say that I ran out and tossed my arms around Happy and told him how I felt. Queen of avoidance remember? I had my laptop open on my lap not because I was playing a game or anything, but for the sole reason that I was using it to seem like I was busy. Most of the time if I seemed busy the guys left me alone.

"Hey baby."

I smiled when I turned to see Gemma standing in the doorway. I hadn't seen much of her lately due to Thomas being born. I sat up a little and closed my laptop.

"You busy?"

"Not really. Come in, mom."

"How you feeling? Guys said you're still moving pretty slowly."

"I keep forgetting that it hurts to move certain ways. I don't really know how to take it easy."

"It isn't in your blood to take it easy, baby. I'm so sorry I haven't been around."

"It's okay. How is Thomas? Tara?"

"They're great. Think she's gonna stop by tomorrow with the boys so you can see them. She wanted to sooner but she's been exhausted."

"I'm not upset. Just can't wait to meet him."

I smiled at her but I could feel it didn't meet my eyes. She noticed too.

"What's wrong, sweetheart."

"Just not feeling like myself I guess."

"There's more to it. Remember hun, I knew that you were in trouble and you were states away from me."

I sighed knowing that she wasn't going to drop it.

"Happy kissed me."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Told me all these things like he's here for me because he wants to be and not because he's been told to. Said he feels more for me than he's felt for anyone and he's going to help me work through all of my issues."

"Why is that making you upset? Do you not feel the same?"

"Of course I feel the same! I can't keep a smile off my damn face around him. It drove me crazy when he was locked up. His letters are what kept me sane."

"Then what is the problem?"

"I can't be what he wants."

"If he says he wants you, then he wants you."

"For now. I'm new. I can't ever be some wild crazy woman that parties like the guys here do. I can't even look at him in the eyes half time let alone have sex. I'm broken."

Gemma sighed and shook her head.

"Baby. I know some really bad shit has happened to you. I see it in your eyes how hard all of this has been for you. But baby, I also see the real you trying to come out. I see her deep in there. She's strong and firm. You gotta let her out. You gotta realize that it's over."

"It's not over. Adam is still out there. Even if he wasn't, the damage is done. Mom I know deep down I didn't do anything wrong but I can't get rid of that voice in my head. Every move I make I question. If I can't even trust myself how am I ever going to trust anyone else. I can not be what Happy wants or needs. It isn't going to ever happen."

"Baby please don't be so hard on yourself. Please. You're safe now."

"Am I?"

Gemma looked nervous. She was so easy to read, especially since I was getting to know her better.

"Mom what aren't you telling me."

"They think they found Adam."

"What does that mean."

"It means the guys won't be home for a little while."

* * *

I had been pacing the clubhouse for a few hours. Gemma wouldn't tell me anything else other than the guys would be gone. I had text Happy and Jax multiple times, but no one would answer. I called Jax and all he said was he would fill me in soon. The fear and panic I was feeling overpowered the pain in my side. Piney tried multiple times to get me to sit down, but I wasn't having it.

"Darlin, you need to relax before you hurt yourself."

"As soon as someone tells me what is going on I will relax."

"They're taking care of a problem. That's all that matters right now. That's all you need to know."

Right as I was about to protest, Pineys phone went off. I stopped moving and tried to listen in but I couldn't hear what was being said. I tried to get closer but Piney held up his hand and stopped me. I knew I could take him on a good day, but my side was telling me it wasn't a good day.

"Alright, I'll tell her."

"Tell me what!"

Piney closed the phone and looked at me.

"Hap and Jax are coming to get you in the van. They will be here in a few minutes so go get a black hoodie from your dresser on and throw on a pair of shoes that you don't mind getting dirty."

"What are-"

"Just go. I'm not explaining anything to you. Just listen and your brother will explain everything when they pick you up."

I wasn't to know more but I knew how stubborn Piney was. I went into my room as quickly as possible and pulled out a black hoodie. The first one I grabbed said Sons of Anarchy across the back, but I figured if they said all black it was for a reason. I pulled out my old sneakers from the closet. I could throw them away if I needed to. I was in too much of a rush to really think about the reason for all of this. I heard a knock on the door and saw Jax in the doorway.

"Ready sweetheart?"

"Yeah. I'm good."

He looked me over and nodded. I followed him down the hallway trying to keep up but knowing my own limits. I had a pretty bad limp on my right side that my speed wasn't letting me hide.

"Hows your side?"

"It hurts."

"I can see that. You sure you're up to this?"

"I don't even know what we're up to, Jax."

"I'll explain in the car. Head on out. Hap is out there in the van. You can sit up front so you don't hurt yourself. I'll be out in a minute."

I nodded and started waling towards the door. Part of me wanted to wait for Jax so I didn't need to be alone with Happy but his tone made me push through it. I got outside and saw the van was parked almost in the doorway. I climbed into the front seat before Happy could ask me if I needed help.

"I see you're up and moving."

"Yeah, thanks to the cryptic messages from Jax and Gemma."

"How long you been on your feet?"

"Few hours now. No one would tell me what was going on."

"Didn't need to know until now."

I jumped when Jax whipped the back door open and jumped in.

"Alright, Hap. Let's go."

I was going to make a smart ass remark about wanting to know what was going on but the tension and nervous energy in the van made me second guess myself. I learned how to read people with Adam, and right then was not the time to start asking questions.

"Alright, Savannah. We're heading to a warehouse we own up near Oakland. I need you to listen to everything we say and do exactly what we tell you to. We shouldn't run into any problems but if for some reason the cops show up or ever ask you about tonight, you can't say a word."

"Okay."

"You promise? This is club shit and if it didn't have anything to do with you, you wouldn't know a damn thing about it."

"I promise. Jax, I know how things works. I'm safe as long as I keep my mouth shut."

Jax nodded with a scowl on his face. He knew I meant more than just safe from the club. I always had to keep my mouth shut to stay safe.

"We found Adam. We have him at the warehouse. I know you don't know everything about the club yet, but we don't let anyone hurt our family. If they do, they die."

I nodded but didn't have any words for him. I knew some of their history. Hell, when I met them they were going away for rushing a church with automatic weapons. I knew they were far from innocent.

"We weren't sure how to do this. Clay just wanted to take care of him and tell you later but sis.. I think you need to be here. Even if you don't watch it all go down. You need to confront him. I'll let you decide what you do or don't do. Alright? But you need to face him."

"Jackson, I'm scared."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Happy's jaw tighten. I hated that I was scared and I hated even more how weak my voice sounded when I said that. I had stayed pretty quiet about how scared I was but then wasn't the time to hide that.

"We're here, Savannah. He isn't going to hurt you again. This ends tonight."

* * *

I was standing outside the warehouse pacing back and forth. The fact that Adam was inside, within walking distance, was freaking me out. I had never been a smoker, but a cigarette right then would be helpful. I heard the door open and it snapped me out of my panic.

"You alright, doll?"

"Yeah, Tiggy. I'm good."

"You don't look good."

"Can't you just take my word for it?"

"No. Don't you know me at all, babe?"

"Yes. What is taking so long? What is going on?"

"Just getting some answers before you go in."

I groaned and sat down on the concrete slab next to the door. I wanted to get this over with.

"If you wanna leave I can talk to Jax."

"No. He was right to bring me. I need to face him or I'll regret it."

Tig nodded and sat down next to me.

"Try to relax. He isn't gonna hurt you anymore. You have a whole club of family that loves you to pieces."

"Yeah."

"You do believe that, right?"

"Yeah I do, Tiggy. I just have never been good at confrontations."

"Yeah I heard."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Heard about you and Hap."

"Jesus, does anyone not know?"

"When someone catches the eye of the Killer, it's hard not to notice."

"Can you hound me about this later?"

"Sounds like a date."

I rolled my eyes at him but couldn't help but smile. He was a dirty old man but I trusted him more than most. Hell, I trusted him more than my own father. We both turned when the door opened to show Jax.

"It's time, darlin."

I huffed out a breath and stood up. Tig put his hand on the small of my back and led me towards the door. I tried to keep my breathing steady as I walked through to the biggest confrontation of my life.

* * *

The warehouse was a lot bigger than I expected it to be. I imagined myself saying "it's bigger on the inside" but I knew that no one would get the reference. I focused on everything around me to keep the pure uncontrollable panic from swallowing me whole. The air was cold but not cold enough to let me see my breath.

We turned the corner around some boxes and I saw all the guys standing around something. More like someone. Adam was on his knees and his arms were chained above him. His face was bloody and one of his eyes was swollen. I stopped dead in my tracks.

The guys heard us walking towards and they all looked at me. I felt like my chest was going to cave in completely. Happy walked towards me and stood directly in front of me, blocking my view of Adam.

"Remember what Jax said. You run this. You are in charge. You only do what you want to and you only say what you want."

I looked into his eyes and nodded. I was sure my terror was showing right through my eyes and his expression confirmed that. He stepped to the side and wrapped his arm around my waist, walking forward with me. The guys moved to the sides, letting me stand directly in front of Adam. I looked at Happy and nodded once then stepped forward out of his arm.

"That's what we were waiting on? Waiting for the bitch to show up?"

Before I could say anything Happy stepped forward and punched him in the face, splitting his lip open even more. Adam looked up at me and spit at my feet, covering my sneakers in blood. Guess that was why they wanted shoes I didn't care about.

"You can hit me all you want, tough guy. Doesn't change how worthless she is."

Happy went to hit him again but I reached up and put my hand on his arm. I shook my head and he stepped back. Everyone was watching me. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. Part of me wanted to pull him up off the ground and clean him up. Even with how shitty he treated me, I loved him. There was a dark side to me though that wanted to hit him just like Happy did.

"Even beaten on the ground, you still can't say a nice thing about me. Why?"

My voice was firm and strong. It was completely quiet in the warehouse and it made my voice sound even stronger.

"Why should I? You're an ungreatful bitch."

"How can you say that? I gave up everything for you. I gave up every dream I had to make you happy."

"You think you made me happy? How could YOU make ME happy?"

"I cooked for you. I cleaned the house. I did everything you asked me to. I even let you fuck me even if I didn't want to."

"So? That's what a fucking woman should do. You're nothing special. You were just a quick lay that I kept around for too long."

"Then why keep me around, Adam? Why put me through all of that? If you didn't want me there you should have just asked me to leave! Instead you hunt me down like a damn animal and drive a knife through my ribcage."

"Because you're nothing. You're property. You're a piece of meat that I could fuck whenever I wanted to. Why chase women when I could make you do whatever I wanted. I hunted you because you overstepped your boundaries by leaving. You couldn't even do that right though."

"What does that mean?"

"You had to get saved by two pussies in a motorcycle club."

I saw Jax lunge forward out of the corner of my eye but Happy stopped him.

"Even now, I cant even touch you and they're trying to do the dirty work for you. You're nothing Savannah. You never have been, and you never will be. No matter what happens to me tonight, I will always be the voice in the back of your head telling you that you will fail. And you always will, Anna. I promise you. You'll never find love and you'll never find happiness. The only thing I regret is not completely ruining your body when I had the chance. I should have taken you every time I wanted to get off instead of giving you a break. I should have let the guys rape you when you were passed out more often."

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes. He had always been cruel but never this bad. He had never actually said all the things he made me feel. He had never shown enjoyment from it. My hands were shaking so I shoved them in my pockets. I stared at Adam as he laughed at me. Every cackle that came out of his mouth shattered my heart.

"Just tell me why. Why do you want to hurt me so badly?"

"Because it's fun."

I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned to see Clay. His face was set to stone as he turned me to him.

"Savannah, you can't change the past. You can't change what he has done to you. I know you don't want anything to do with me right now, but I need you to listen to me. This is how you define yourself now. You can walk out that door and let his voice ring in your head. You can go back to the clubhouse and be the same scared woman you have been."

"What other option is there?"

"Savannah, you can take this gun and shoot that fucker between the eyes. He's going to die anyway, that I promise you. I can't promise you that shooting him will make you feel better, but I can promise it will help you take your life back."

"Clay I-"

"You need to make the decision. Be the same weak Savannah he thinks you are, or be the strong woman we all know you can be."

With that, Clay handed me the gun and turned me back towards Adam. I looked at all the guys and none of them seemed alarmed by me holding the gun. I looked at Jax and Happy for guidance. Clay was right, I didn't trust him. I couldn't not listen to him though. Something had to give.

"He's right Savannah." Jax added in. "He has to die either way. I told you that on the way over here. This is where you decide who you are. We can take care of this for you, or you can take charge."

I nodded and looked towards the pistol. I had taken a safety classes in college as one of my electives so I did actually know what I was doing. This one was much heavier than anything I had held though. It had a reaper on the side and was gorgeous. I wondered how such a beautiful piece of metal could be so deadly. Then I realized it wasn't the gun that was deadly but who was holding it.

Was I deadly? I was scared. I wasn't scared of Adam anymore though. Something had snapped in me when he told me how he felt. How he knew I would always be weak and fragile. I had changed though.

Somewhere in between watching the guys get dragged away and being there that day, I had changed. I wasn't the shell of a woman that Happy picked up off the floor in Arizona. I wasn't exactly Gemma, but I was getting there. I wasn't bulletproof yet, but neither was Adam. He never would be.

"You really think this bitch is going to shoot me? She's just standing there holding the gun!"

I broke my gaze from the gun in my hand and looked at Adam. All the guys were still watching me. Jax went to walk forward but Clay put his hand up to stop him. Jax looked back at me and I could see he looked worried.

"Just hand the gun back off and tell them to let me go. You know you can't live in a world without me in it, Anna."

"I always hated that name, Adam."

"But we're Adam and Anna baby girl!"

I could feel the sarcasm dripping off Adam's word.

"Anna is dead. She died the day I left. You didn't know that you died the day you stabbed me, but you do now."

Before Adam could say anything else, I quickly aimed the gun at him and pulled the trigger. I almost closed my eyes and turned away, but I needed to watch. I hit him in the left eye and there was a splatter of blood on the wall behind him. I put my arm back down and put the safety on. I turned towards Clay and handed him the gun back before I walked out the door. I heard the guys talking about how surprised they were, but everything I said was true.

Anna had died. So had the Savannah I knew. I knew I could have seen it as me having Adams blood on my hands, but I saw it differently. I saw it as me washing my own blood away. I needed to change, and there was no going back after pulling that trigger.

 


	8. I'd Kill Him Again, If I Could

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT ALERT! There isn't extremely graphic stuff, but there is some juicy bits. Just a fair warning :)

I walked into the clubhouse barefoot after throwing away my shoes in a random dumpster right after I soaked them in bleach. It had been silent in the van on the way back. Happy had asked me if I wanted him to drive back but I knew he didn't trust anyone else to ride his bike. I said Rat driving me back was fine.

I saw Piney at the bar but kept walking. I wanted to take a shower. I had checked myself in the mirror over and over but it still felt like I had blood on my face. I was probably just being paranoid though. I walked into my room and started stepping out of all my clothes. I heard a knock on the door but kept pulling my clothes off, leaving me in my bra and panties. I was careful to put all my clothes into a bag and not let them touch the ground. I jumped when I felt a hand on my waist.

"Talk to me."

"I'm pretty much naked and going to take a shower."

"Talk to me now or I'm getting in there with you."

I felt my face catch fire at the idea of Happy being in the shower with me. I turned to look at him.

"You don't have any blood on you, so you really don't need to rush into the shower."

"Alright."

I walked over and grabbed a baggy hoodie out of the dresser and slipped it on. I looked back to see Happy sitting on the edge of my bed. I walked over and sat crossed legged towards the head of the bed.

"How'd you end up with two of my hoodies?"

I looked down and realized he was right. I still had the zip up one he gave me when I first got there, and this one was his too. I only knew because it had a silver smiley face drawn on the pocket corner.

"Hmm. I'm not sure. Want it back?"

He smirked at me and shook his head.

"As much as I would love to see you undressed again, you can keep it."

I felt my face flush again as a smile crept across my face.

"So, I can watch you shoot someone but I'm not allowed to flirt?"

"Never said you couldn't."

"You always look away and blush."

"Hap, you saw how I've been treated for years. I'm not used to kind words."

I watched his eyes darken as I brought up Adam. The memory didn't cause me pain though. I thought maybe I was in shock.

"You didn't tell me about his friends."

"I don't remember most of it. Usually it was after he had already knocked me out either by his fists or his drugs."

"I'd kill him again if I could."

"I know."

"How you doing with all of it?"

"I'm alright. I keep expecting to freak out but.."

"But it felt good?"

"Yeah. It did. Not that I want to be labeled the Charming Killer, but it felt good to take care of myself."

Happy roared out in laughter. It made me start laughing and I couldn't help but smile. Even though I was alone with Happy, it felt right. I wasn't nervous.

"I was surprised you could shoot that well."

"Took a class in college."

"Know where I learned?"

"Hmm. Probably a cheap brothel."

"Ouch. Alley behind my house actually."

"Close enough."

"Yeah you're right."

I smiled at him again and pulled my hair out of the bun, letting it fall onto my shoulders. It felt good to have it down for a change. Even though when I first got there I kept it down, as soon as my face had healed it ended up in a messy bun again.

"You look so different with your hair down."

"I feel different with it down."

"Keep it that way."

"Oh, telling me what to do huh?"

"Well, you are mostly naked in my hoodie. Think it gives me the right."

"We'll see."

I smiled and got up out of bed. I felt a small twinge of pain in my side and I put my hand over the scar.

"Come here."

I walked over to Happy and he pulled the hoodie up to look at my side. He gently ran his finger over it and the lack of sensation felt weird. I could see him touching it, but felt nothing.

"You're gonna have a pretty decent scar there."

"Yeah. I know. Nothing worse than what I showed up here with."

"Have a point there."

I watched Happy run his hand across my stomach to my rib cage. It was where the black bruise was when he found me. He then ran his hand down to my lower abdomen where the scar was from right before I showed up. He must have felt me tense up because he stopped moving and looked at me.

"I won't push you. I'm not trying anything, I know you aren't ready for that."

I looked at him, and even though he was a man, I believed him. He had never done anything to hurt me, except make me laugh when my ribs were broken. He had picked me up off the ground more times than I was comfortable with.

I kept eye contact, though my head was screaming for me to look away, and gently put my hand on the side of his face. I felt his hands move to my hips as he looked up at me from the bed. I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his. His hands barely gripped onto my hips, but just enough for me to feel the change in pressure.

I pulled away for a second and looked him in the eyes. His eyes were a delicious shade darker than normal. I could see he wanted to throw me onto the bed, but the fact that he was letting me be in control made me that much more comfortable.

I pressed my lips back against his, this time a little bit harder. I moved my other hand to the opposite side of his face as I moved myself gently forward, allowing myself to straddle his waist. I could feel himself hardening beneath me, but he made no move to push further. Just as I was about to run my tongue against his lip, I snapped away as I heard someone clearing their throat from the doorway. I scrambled off him and felt my face turn beat red.

"If you want privacy, you need to shut the door. A minute with my daughter, please."

I nodded at Happy as he walked past Gemma. I pulled the hoodie down as far as I could when I climbed into the bed, pulling the blanket over myself. I looked back at Gemma and she had her arms crossed, but she had a giant grin on her face.

"Thought you were so sure you couldn't give him what he needed?"

"What do you need mom?"

"Well I came to check on you to see if you were okay, but I can see you were doing just great before I showed up."

"Mom."

"Alright I'll drop it. For now. Clay wouldn't tell me much of what happened, just that you took care of it."

"Yeah. They came and got me."

"You faced him?"

"I uh. I shot him."

"You did?"

"Yep."

"Wow. I'm impressed."

"Clay handed me his gun. Told me I could either be the same scared Savannah, or I could step up and change. I changed."

"You sure you're okay?"

"I thought I would lose it. Like I really thought I would break down. I killed someone."

"So instead you try to fuck Happy?"

"Jesus Christ, mom. People can kiss. Two grown ass adults can kiss each other without having sex."

"If you say so."

"You're impossible."

"Well, I'm gonna head home."

"Alright. I'll be here."

"I'm proud of you baby."

"Thanks."

I watched her walk out and I chuckled to myself. Who knew I would end up with a family proud that I killed someone in cold blood. If someone had told me I would do that, then two hours later be straddling the man labeled Killer in a motorcycle clubhouse I would call them crazy. I was oddly okay with everything though.

* * *

I tried going to sleep but I was far too wound up between the warehouse and Happy. I could hear some of the guys drinking at the bar, so I decided to join them. I almost walked out of the room with only the hoodie on but stopped myself just in time. I tossed on a pair of jeans and changed into a tank top. I kept my hair down, remembering how Happy liked it down. I walked down the hallway and walked towards the guys.

"There is our lil killer boy!" Chibs slurred.

I always loved it when Chibs got drunk. He would try to teach me Gaelic and it was even harder to understand what he was saying. Tig and Kozic were hanging off each other and talking about how much they loved the other. I rolled my eyes and looked around. Piney was passed out at the bar and Opie was asleep on the couch. My heart sank when I spotted Happy.

He was over at the pool table with Juice, and there were two women hanging off of him. He didn't seem to be paying attention to them, but seeing them touch him pissed me off. I turned back towards Chibs and tried to get myself in check.

I hadn't really given him an answer. He had every right to do whatever he wanted. Us kissing a few times didn't mean shit in all reality. I looked back at him and locked eyes with him. I saw Juice start to get twitchy and looked at me. Happy smirked and kept doing what he was doing.

Was he testing me?

"Oi, lass. Ain't he yer man?"

"I don't know."

"He either is or he ain't."

I looked at Chibs and took the shot from his hand. I tossed it back and winced at how strong it was. It would kick my ass in a few minutes, I was sure of it. I set the glass down, upside down, causing Chibs and the rest near me to cheer out. They had never seen me even look at alcohol before. I walked towards Happy and the grin on his face got even bigger. The two women hanging off of him paid no attention to me until I stood right in front of him.

"Uh, sweetheart ain't it past your bedtime?"

"Yeah, you need someone to tuck you in?"

The two women laughed with eachother and went to rub on Happy. I looked at him and his smirk told me everything I needed to know.

"Don't you two have a street corner to work?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Juice spit his drink out and it went all over one of the women. She screamed out and started yelling about her shirt being ruined which made Juice laugh even harder. She stalked away out the front door after she grabbed her purse. The woman who was left turned towards me and slapped me across the face. I looked back up at her, knowing that my lip was split. Happy squinted his eyes at me as I smiled at the woman.

"What are you, some kind of freak? Get the hell out of here and let the grown-ups talk."

I grabbed onto her hair and started dragging her towards the front door. She screamed and scrambled to get me to let go, but her fake hair was just strong enough for me to get a good hang of it. She clawed my hand, drawing blood but I wasn't going to let go. I got her to the front door and tossed her out, causing her to fall on her ass.

"Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch!?"

"I'm someone you're going to learn to respect, or you won't be coming back."

"I don't even know who you are!"

"I'm Gemma and Clay's daughter, and the guy you were rubbing up on is mine."

I heard all the guys hooting and hollering behind me but I couldn't focus on that right then. I started down the bitch in front of me as she scrambled up and looked at the guys.

"Well ya think any of you assholes could give a lady a ride home?"

"Yeah, if there was a lady standing where you're at."

She glared at me and huffed as she stomped away. I turned and looked at the guys and felt my face finally go red.

"Jaeusus Christ lass! Don't tell me that was that one wee little shot!"

I walked past Chibs and the drunken crew, walking directly to Happy. Juice was still standing next to him and looked like a deer in the headlight.

"So I'm yours huh?"

"Yeah. And you better remember that the next time some gash tries to rub up on you."

I smiled up at him knowing that he had been testing me. He wasn't showing them a bit of interest until he saw I was there. I started laughing as I looked at Juice who looked like he was about to shit his pants. I looked back at Happy just as he pulled me into a crushing kiss. I tried not to laugh at the ruckus behind me, but I failed.

"Whatever got into you, don't let it go."

"I don't plan on it."

"Good, cause I'm really liking this new Savannah."

"Me too."

* * *

"Clay, I'm not sure that giving her that gun was a good idea."

"That's why I'm the president and you aren't."

"She's your daughter, Clay."

"You act like I don't know that."

"What's your play here? That could have broken her."

"But it didn't Jax. We don't need a weak scared woman walking around. She either needed to shape up or get out."

"You're telling me you would throw your own blood out? The only reason she wasn't raised strong is because you fucking sent her away."

"Don't tell me how to raise my daughter. I did just fine with you."

"You didn't fucking raise me, Clay. You sure you aren't just trying to manipulate her? Make her into what you want?"

"This conversation is over, Jax."

"If I find out that you're trying to control her, you're gonna have to answer to me."

"Don't make threats you won't follow through with."

"It wasn't an empty threat, Clay."

 


	9. That's All I Needed To Do?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys, let me fill you in on a little secret of mine. This story frustrates me. I know ya'll love it so much but it is driving me crazy. I spent almost all day yesterday (my son wasn't feel well so he just wanted to curl up and watch tv) re-watching SOA because the idea of not making it mesh with the show was giving me an OCD attack. SO. Basically. What I did with their prison sentence was not in the show. Obviously. I am working myself back to the show, and once the wedding hits I will be there. I am now literally watching every episode, trying not to deviate from it as much as possible.
> 
> That being said, obviously I will need to a little bit. Savannah is not part of the story. As you know. I have decided that there is more than enough drama and heartache that I can just kind of add Savannah in at this point and not need to cause all new issues. If something doesn't mesh up 100%, I either missed it trying to chase a kid and pause the show at the same time or I decided I didn't want it in there. I 100% appreciate the authenticity of the show though, so it's probably an omission by accident than on purpose.
> 
> Also, there will be things as a view of SOA that you know that Savannah does not. For example, she picks up on Gemma acting weird and knows things about Clay that the other characters don't yet. She brings a whole new dynamic to the story. If it seems like it's bouncing around a bit, its because there are parts of the show that she has absolutely nothing to do with. There is no way they would let her ride with them chasing gang bangers down the road going 110 mph. Let's be real here lol.

I stretched and sighed, not wanting to get out of bed. I rolled over and smacked into a hard chest. I looked up to see Happy looking at me. I smiled and rolled back over to where I was.

"Sorry."

"Forget I was here?"

"Uh. I think so."

"Ouch."

I watched him sit up and run his hand over his face. He had gotten pretty drunk and carried me back to my room the night before and we both fell asleep talking. I could tell he wanted more, but I wasn't ready yet. It had been two months since I killed Adam and confessed my feeling for Happy. Well, more like I staked my claim.

"What's going on today?"

"Ope's wedding."

"Oh shit. That is today isn't it."

"Yep."

"I'm gonna have to find something to wear."

"I'll pick you up at four."

"I'm riding with you."

"That a problem?"

"No. I'll see you then."

I watched him walk out and smiled. He sometimes seemed cold, but I had quickly found that if he had something to say he would say it. We actually spent a lot of time talking with each other. Never in front of anyone else though.

"Hey baby, wanna help me today?"

"Hey ma. I'd love to. Can we stop somewhere so I can get a dress?"

"Actually Savannah, I have a dress for you."

I leaned forward to see Lyla holding a bridesmaid dress. She was smiling at me as I jumped up and hugged her. I didn't see a lot of her since I didn't ever want to go around the porn business. I had been offered a job helping around the warehouse, but I refused. I was way too shy to watch people fuck all day.

"I'd love to. Thank you so much for thinking of me!"

"Of course, hun. I know we don't get to spend much time together, but you're Jax's sister. That makes you my family too."

I smiled at her and looked at Gemma. She had a small smile on her face watching me interact with her. She seemed sad though.

"Tara gonna be there too?"

"Yeah of course! Everyone is going to be there. Including your tall dark and handsome."

I laughed and shook my head.

"I know. He's picking me up at four actually."

"How you gonna ride the bike in a dress?"

"Gonna have to figure it out I guess."

* * *

I was moving around the clubhouse trying to keep busy. Gemma hadn't needed as much help as she first thought. She had enlisted all of the girls to help her and left me behind since Happy wanted me to ride with him. I heard a bike roll in and waited to see who it was. Bobby walked in and smiled at me.

"Hey, sweetheart. Figured you'd be at the reservation already."

"Hap wanted me to ride with him so I'm waiting."

"Let me give him a call. Think Clay sent him to do some stuff before the wedding."

"Oh. Yeah. Okay. Let me know. I'll give Gemma call to come get me."

"Nah. I'll give you a ride over. You good riding a bike?"

"Obviously. Gemma and Clays daughter remember?"

Bobby laughed and made a phone call. I walked towards my room to make sure all my stuff was tossed in a bag. I had sent my dress with Gemma since I couldn't figure out a way to not ruin the dress on a bike. I was a little disappointed. I really wanted to ride in with Happy, but I knew it was part of the club life. I walked out with my bag and saw Bobby holding a helmet.

"He said he's sorry he can't pick ya up, darling."

"Oh, it's okay. Part of the deal right?"

"You're learning."

"I keep my eyes out. I know the deal. Do what I'm told and keep a smile on my face."

"You're gonna be alright sweetheart. Let's go."

He tossed his arm over my shoulders and we walked towards his bike.

The wedding had been beautiful. I didn't know much about who the club was friends with, but I was surprised by how many were there. There were guys from other charters, a group called the Mayan, guys with heavy Russian accents and a ton of guys all dressed with purple who Gemma said were Niners. I had no clue that so many people were friends of the club.

I had smiled through all of it. Lyla was wearing a fairly non traditional dress, but she looked beautiful. The way she looked at Opie was pure love. I had heard that he was married before, but I couldn't imagine him with anyone but her. The three kids were so happy too. I was hoping they would see Lyla as a mom. I had grown up without my mom but never had the pleasure of finding that connection with anyone.

Happy had left right after the ceremony. I wanted more than anything to ask him where he was going, but figured it wasn't my place to do so. He took off with Chibs, Juice and Bobby. I missed Hap but just watched everyone dance and be happy. I sat with Tig and Kozic, who had stopped fighting. I had made a wise crack about them keeping their promise and they were shocked to know that I remembered it from the hospital. When they left I danced with Chucky, figuring he was trying to keep me busy. He was an odd guy, but he made me laugh.

Jax came back with Clay, Tig and Kozic a little while later. I made eye contact with Clay for a minute but turned back to playing with the flowers on the table. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was walking towards me.

"Can I get a dance with my daughter?"

I looked at him and frowned. I still hadn't forgiven him for how he treated me. The last time I had talked to him was at the warehouse.

"C'mon Savannah."

He reached his hand out and after a moment, I took it. He helped me up and led me to the dancefloor. He turned around to face me and started barely swaying to the music. I danced with him but looked past him at anything but him.

"Ya know I'm sorry for how I acted, right?"

"I guess."

"I am. I'm also very proud of you."

"That all I needed to do? Shoot someone? Shit, if I had known I would have done it by my fifth birthday."

"Jesus Christ, Savanna. Cut the shit. I'm trying to fix this shit."

"There really isn't a whole lot to fix, Clay. We didn't ever have a relationship. I appreciate everything you've done for me, but you showed your true colors."

"And what would they be?"

"You're dangerous. Not even blood will stop that."

Clay ground his teeth and continued swaying. I re-focused on the trees around us and wanted nothing more than to leave.

"I think Hap's good for ya."

"Yep."

"I was wrong to try to control you like that."

"Oh so now you see it?"

"I'm gonna show you everything's alright, Savannah. You're part of us."

I nodded as he let me go and walked towards Gemma. She was standing with Kozic and looked worried. I hugged my arms around myself and started walking towards the parking lot. I wanted to get away from all of the bullshit for once. My heart felt heavy.

"Savannah! Wait up!"

I kept walking knowing that Kozic would catch up to me. I felt his arm around my waist and he stopped me from walking. I turned towards him, keeping my arms crossed.

"We're kinda far out for you to be walking home, sweetheart."

"I know."

"Let me give you a ride."

"I really just want to be alone right now, Herman."

"Ouch. First name. C'mon. Hap should be back to the clubhouse by the time we get there. Bobby left the helmet for you."

I sighed and followed him to his bike. I really didn't want anything to do with anyone. I remembered that Gemma had said I could get my own place once Adam was gone. I needed a job, but Tara had offered that too. I put the helmet on and decided I would go see Tara the next day.

* * *

I was in my brand new car heading up towards Oakland with Tara. Gemma stayed back with the boys and Clay had handed me the keys to a Camaro right before I went to walk out the door. He had also set me up with a house down the road from Jax's house. I had scoffed at him, but he told me it was to show how much he appreciated me and how proud of me he was. I think he just wanted me out of his hair.

I had gone to talk to Tara the night before since I couldn't sleep, who already had me set up with a job. She was just waiting for me to say something. I would be officially her administrators aid, but they worked it out so the hospital would pay for my schooling to get my PA license and I was allowed to shadow Tara whenever I wanted to. If school work got too intense, they would pay me to sit at home and study. It was a nice gig.

I had asked Tara to go with me to Oakland so I could get some new outfits. As comfortable as I was getting in the clothes Gemma had gotten me, hooker heels and cut up jean shorts weren't going to cut it working in a hospital.

"You excited to start working again?"

"Yeah. I am actually. Will be nice to be able to take care of myself."

"I know the feeling. The club is a great family, but I would go crazy if I wasn't working."

"If I ask you something, will you be truthful with me?"

"Of course, Savannah."

"Do you trust Clay?"

I glanced over at Tara and she looked conflicted.

"I know he's my dad, but it's not like we're close. Please, tell me."

"He's pushing the club into the cartel."

"What?"

"I don't know everything and I really shouldn't be telling you. They're selling guns to the Cartel and hauling drugs back for them for the Mexicans."

"Clay is okay with that?"

"Sweetie, it was his idea."

I stayed focused on the road for a few minutes.

"I think Clay had something to do with Jax's father dying too." she said quickly.

"Want to know what I think?"

"Of course."

"I know he did."

"Wait what?"

"My family that I lived with, Gemma's aunt. They talked all the time about how I was safer with them because Clay and Gemma killed John. No one could ever prove anything, but it's the whole reason my family kept me instead of sending me back to Charming."

"Jesus."

"How did you figure it out?"

"Letters. John had a family in Belfast. Jax has another sister, your age."

"Can I read the letters?"

Tara went silent for a few minutes. I could tell she was thinking.

"I haven't shown them to Jax yet."

"I won't say a word. You gotta figure, I've known their secret for years. Staying silent is easy. No one suspects anything."

I smiled at Tara and saw she was grinning at me.

"When were you gonna tell me Jax proposed to you?"

"How did you.."

"Tara, I helped him pick the ring out."

"We don't know when we're gonna tell everyone."

"You said yes, right?"

"Of course."

"You don't seem very sure."

"He wants out of the club."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He wants all this shit away from our boys."

"I don't blame you."

"It's not gonna be easy."

"Nothing is. I'm so glad I could walk away from the club whenever I want. It feels nice not being tied down anywhere."

"You really think that?"

"Should I think differently?"

"Don't trust Clay, Savannah. I know you think he handed you that gun to set you free. He has you trapped now, hun. Be careful."

"I had to kill Adam, Tara."

I could tell she wanted to say something, but her phone started ringing.

"It's Gemma."

She seemed upset when she hung the phone up.

"We have to turn around. Jax and Opie were taken."


	10. Take Care Of My Boy For Me

We pulled into the driveway and got out of the car. Tara ran over to Gemma who told her that the guys had gotten free of their issue and would be back soon. I looked over and saw Happy and Kozic talking near the garage. I didn't know that Happy was back. Kozic looked at me and pointed over towards me when he said something to Hap. I looked away not wanting to seem clingy.

"Savannah!"

I didn't need to look to see that it was Happy yelling for me. I huffed out a sigh and turned to walk towards him. My heels were clicking on the pavement and it echoed across the lot. I always threw the guys off since they expected that clicking to be Gemma.

"Hey Savannah. Nice car."

"Thanks Koz."

"I'll head up first with Miles. Meet you up there."

"You better fucking keep my moms house clean."

"Got it. See ya later Savannah."

"See ya Koz."

I smiled at the blonde and watched him jog over to the bikes. I could feel Happy staring at me.

"Heard you're going back to work."

"Yeah. Was heading up to Oakland to get work clothes when I got the call about Jax and Ope."

"New house and cage too?"

"Yeah. Can blame Clay for that. I wanted to work and get my own place."

"Haven't heard from you in a few days."

"Figured you were busy."

"Shit is a little weird with the club right now."

"Just how weird?"

Happy grabbed my arm and pulled me to the side of the garage. He pushed my back against the wall and pressed himself to me. He kissed me and ground his hips into mine.

"What do you know?"

"What do you want me to know?"

"I always hear Gemma talking about how it needs to be all or nothing. If I start telling you shit, I gotta tell you all of it."

"You don't think I can handle it?"

"I'm asking you."

"I know a lot more than you think, Hap. I already know about the drugs and the cartel."

"Tara?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm not stupid."

"Shit might get crazy."

"I'm well aware. You guys helped me kill my ex remember?"

Happy nodded and ran his hands over my hips and ass.

"I'm gonna be gone for a few days."

"I figured. They usually send you."

"Heading up to my ma's. If Clay is good with you riding up there, want to go with?"

"You want me to meet your mom?"

"She's been hounding me about it. Koz spilled about you."

"Oh so you aren't out bragging about me?"

Happy smiled and growled before he kissed me.

"I'll go talk to Clay. You go pack a bag."

"I gotta be back soon. They want me to start at the hospital."

"That mean you're gonna be wearing those sexy ass nurse outfits?"

"Sometimes."

"Mmm. Can't wait for that."

I smacked him on the chest and pushed him back to go pack my bags.

* * *

We made it up to Happy's moms house quickly. Clay wasn't thrilled about me leaving but Gemma convinced him I needed to start getting out more. His mom had opened her arms for me the moment we pulled up. I wasn't sure how such a sweet woman had ever produced a man like Happy.

I watched Happy dote on his mother and aunt. I thought it was cute. He treated me with the same respect he gave them and barked at the guys when they did anything he didn't like. I liked seeing him with the guys. They all were scared of him. We heard Kozic yelling as he ran through the door.

"They took the guns."

The guys ran out the door and I stayed put. As much as I wanted to help them I knew Happy would lose his shit if I followed them out.

"I think my boy is in love with you."

I snapped my head over and looked at Hap's mom. She had spoken to me, but it was like she was waiting for him to walk out the door to say something.

"What? Oh I don't think so."

"Oh, I do."

"I don't know about that."

"I see the way he looks at you, Savannah. How did you get mixed up in his club?"

"You want honesty?"

"Always."

"Hap and Jax drove to Arizona to check on me. Jax is my half-brother. Clay is my father. When they showed up, the guy I was living with was in the middle of one of his normal beatings. Happy saved me. They took me back to Charming and now I'm here."

"You haven't slept with him yet."

I felt my face go red. I hadn't realized that it was that obvious to the rest of the world.

"No."

"Then he really cares about you. My boy likes to indulge in everything the good book tells him not to. If he's giving that up for anyone, Savannah, you are special."

We sat in silence watching tv for what seemed like hours. Happy walked back inside and looked at me.

"Everything good?"

"Yeah. Time to head back."

I nodded and stood up. I saw Hap's mom struggle to get up and I rushed over to help her. She smiled at me and pulled me into a hug.

"I hope I get to see you again soon, sweetheart."

"I hope so too. Thank you so much for having me."

"You take care of my boy for me."

"I'll try."

I smiled at her and walked towards Happy who slung his arm around my shoulders. We walked outside and towards his bike.

"Big vote today."

"I know."

"Don't you want to know what I think?"

"Figured you'd tell me if you wanted me to know."

"I'm not voting for it."

"Won't that piss Clay off?"

"Don't care. I get a vote and I don't trust the cartel."

"They saved Jax and Opie."

"They wouldn't have needed to if we didn't kill the Russians."

"That was you guys?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus."

"You sound just like Gemma when you say that."

"Sorry."

"Let's get home little mama. I gotta leave for a few days tomorrow."

I nodded and climbed on the bike behind him. As soon as I wrapped my arms around his waist he turned the bike on and we head out back to Charming.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to Gemma standing in my door. She seemed upset.

"What's wrong ma?"

"Tara talked to you lately?"

"We talk all the time. Why?"

"She uh. She tell you anything about Belfast?"

"Just that Jax had another sister. Why?"

She was fishing about the letters. Tara had let me read them when Hap and I got back and they said some pretty nasty shit about my mother and father. None of it surprised me though.

"You would tell me if something was going on, right?"

"Of course mom. Only thing me and Tara talk about is work and the boys. We have a lot in common."

I watched Gemma's face relax. She believed me. Years of lying to Adam and not growing up around Gemma really was working in my favor. She sat down on the bed and started playing with my hair.

"When do you start at the hospital?"

"Whenever I want to. Figured I'd head in today since everyone is leaving."

"When do your classes start?"

"Today. I'm hoping I can keep up with them."

"You're a smart girl, baby. You got this."

"I hope so."

"So, how are you and Hap?"

"Alright I guess. He's been gone a lot."

"Part of the club life baby."

"Yeah. I know. Think I'm gonna move all my stuff over to the house today when I get out of work. I'm sure Jax would like his room back."

"He better not need it. He has a family to go home to."

"Wasn't saying he would need it for that, ma. Was thinking more naps with how busy they have been."

"Oh. Right. This club has messed with my brain, baby. Sorry."

"It's alright. I understand."

"You okay, baby?"

"Yeah. I'm good. Just have a lot going on in the next few days."

"You know you can talk to me, right?"

"Yeah ma."

"Love you, baby."

"Love you too."

* * *

The next few days had flown by. Between my school work, working at the hospital and moving into the house I was exhausted. Gemma had the prospects move most of my stuff but it didn't change that I had to make about 20 trips back and forth between the clubhouse and my new house.

Happy was still up north and I missed him a lot. He was supposed to come back the night before but I hadn't heard from him. There was a party at the clubhouse but I went home early. I pulled the rest of my stuff out right before I left but right before I fell asleep I realized that I left my phone charger at the clubhouse. I drove over early before my phone could die in case Happy tried to get ahold of me.

I pulled into the parking lot and saw Lyla getting out of her car.

"Hey, you seen Opie?"

"No. He was here last night but I left early."

"He never came home."

"Maybe he's in the garage?"

"Yeah I'll go check."

"I'll look inside, hun. Need my phone charger."

I held up my phone right as it beeped, telling me it was dying. I saw a text come through and was reading it while I walked through the clubhouse.

"Gonna be back soon. Clubhouse or home?"

"Home. Grabbing my charger then going back."

"Stay at the clubhouse. Be there in 5."

I closed my phone right as I opened the door to my old room. I looked up and saw Opie sitting shirtless on the bed and one of the porn stars walking out of the bathroom pulling her shirt down.

"Opie?"

"Sorry sweetheart, I'll be out in a few minutes. Why don't you run along and clean or something."

I looked up at the porn slut and scoffed. Apparently, she hadn't gotten the message when I kicked the shit out of the other girls.

"First off, this is my room. Second, Lyla is outside looking for her husband. You don't get to speak to me like that, porn slut."

Before I could react, the woman pulled a small handgun and pointed it at my head. Opie went to jump off the bed, but she pointed it between the two of us.

"I'm leaving and no one is going to lay a hand on me. Back the fuck up."

I started backing up from the doorway while she had the gun trained on my face. She got close to me and pointed it at the side of my head.

"Keep walking."

We walked out into the barroom and I saw Happy walk through the door. His eyes turned a dark shade of black when he saw the bitch holding her gun to my head.

"What the fuck." Jax asked.

I saw that Lyla had walked in behind Happy.

"Riley! Ima! What the hell."

"I'm walking out of here."

"Why are you here?" Lyla was already crying.

"Should ask the dick that was in my last night."

"Why?"

"Guess married pussy is boring pussy."

I didn't know this bitch, but she pissed me off. Opie and I had never been super close, but I thought he was better than that. They did shit on the road, but this was in our home. I swung my elbow back and it connected with the woman in her stomach. She grunted out and I grabbed the gun out of her hand. Before I could make another move, I felt Happy pull me behind him to shield me. I still had the gun in my hand and wanted to shoot the bitch right in her face. The woman walked out of the clubhouse and Lyla was sobbing.

"What the hell is going on?" Opie asked when he walked out of the dorm.

"How could you?" Lyla sobbed as she ran out.

Happy turned and put his hand on my face.

"She hurt you?"

"No." I growled out and pushed past him.

I walked up to Opie and looked up at him. He looked down at me and rolled his jaw. I could see Happy looking on right behind me with his fists clenched.

"What do you want, Savannah."

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

I heard everyone go silent behind me. It was unheard of to hear me question any of the guys. I was the quiet one.

"It's none of your business, Savannah."

"The fuck it isn't! She could have killed me! What if she killed Lyla! You bring that crazy ass psycho porn slut into MY ROOM and fuck her? Then I get the gun pulled on me? What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What, you shoot one person who was defenseless and now suddenly you think you can act like this?"

I spit in Opie's face and just as soon as it hit his face, he backhanded me. I heard Happy lunge forward, and a few of the guys yell while hold him back. I wiped my face and saw my lip was split. I looked back up at him, fighting the urge to jump him.

"That's the last time you put your hands on me, Opie."

"Savannah-"

"I know this is your clubhouse, but I suggest you walk out that door and find your wife."

Opie looked over at Happy.

"Hap-"

"You heard her." He growled.

I walked down the hallway and disappeared into my room, shutting the door behind me.

* * *

I was putting new sheets on the bed when I heard the door open and immediately close. I didn't look over to see who it was but I figured it was either Happy or Gemma. Since Gemma would have started talking to me immediately I presumed it Happy.

"You gonna talk to me?"

"What is there to say. Just cleaning up the bed then gonna head home."

I felt hands on my hips as he turned me to look at him. He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face to look at my lip. I wasn't acting like it, but it hurt like hell.

"I want Tara to look at it. Might need stitched."

"I'm fine."

"No. You're not."

"Hap, I'm fine. Let me finish what I was doing so I can go home."

"Want a ride there?"

"Actually, I want to be alone."

"So, Opie fucks a gash and you don't want anything to do with me?"

"I don't want anything to do with anyone. You guys are involved with the fucking cartel and I get a gun pointed at my head and slapped across the face by one of your brothers."

"Did you not see me trying to protect you? You're the one who walked up to him."

"So I was wrong?"

"You shouldn't have said anything. Wasn't your business."

I laughed and walked past him. I felt him grab my arm and pull me back.

"Where are you going?"

"Home. Away from the club and away from you."

I felt his arm tighten on my arm and I started seeing red.

"Let. Go. Of. Me."

"Not until you talk to me."

"We're done talking."

"No. We aren't." he growled.

He pulled me closer to him firmly but gently. He sat down and pulled me down next to him. The idea of sitting the same bed that Opie just screwed the porn slut on made my stomach churn.

"Savannah, if you want out you can leave. I'm not forcing you to be here."

"I know you aren't. Well.. I mean you kind of are. You just forced me to sit down."

"Smart ass."

"You just figuring that you?"

"No. I mean it though. If you don't want this, just tell me."

"I don't know what I want Hap. I just got out a really dangerous situation, just to be thrown into another. The cartel has its hold on you guys."

"I know. I'm not happy about it. What else is this about. There has to be something more."

"Your mom thinks you love me."

I watched Happy go stiff. He moved his hand from my leg and ran his hand over his head as he sighed.

"I have a lot of pressure on me, Hap. From everyone. Everyone watches me like I'm going to either fall apart or go crazy. They're constantly asking about us while at the same time telling me to be careful of everyone around me."

"What is there to be careful of?"

"I know you stay out of the shit, Hap, but this is my blood. I know things about Clay and Gemma that the club may never find out about. I'm quiet, so everyone tells me everything. Plus, I can see them waiting for us to fail. They know your knack for women and the fact that I'm not putting out."

"Fuck them, Savannah. Okay? If you don't want in on their bullshit, then just stay out of it. And when it comes to us, that's none of their damn business. If I wanted easy pussy I'd get it."

I knew he was tyring to make me feel better, but it didn't.

"This isn't about the pressure. You think I'm gonna do the same thing that Ope just did."

"I wouldn't blame you. You're around beautiful women all the time. They're either porn stars, throwing themselves at you or both. I can't complete with that. I can't compete with women who look like that."

"Jesus Christ, look at yourself."

"I do every day."

"No. You don't. You still have Adam all wrapped up in your fucking head. You wanna know why the guys all ask about us? It's cause they're jealous. I get shit too. I get a lot of shit. None of them have any idea why me, of all people, won you over. Shit, I don't even know how."

I sighed and rest my head on his shoulder. All my rage was gone. I didn't want to be at the clubhouse anymore, but I wanted to be with Happy.

"I want to go home. I'm tired."

"Still want to be away from me?"

"Take me home, stud."

"Just as soon as you let Tara look at your face."

"Fine."

Hap helped me up and we walked out of the room together as he laced his fingers through mine.

 


	11. What If It Had Been You?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. SMUT. SMUT. SMUT. SMUT.
> 
> IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ SMUT, THEN MOVE ON. SMUT HAPPENS, WHICH IS A HUGE DEAL FOR HER BUT UNLESS YOU WANNA KNOW THE JUICY DETAILS, THIS CHAPTER ISN'T NECCESARY TO READ!

I was curled up in bed watching tv when I heard the front door open. I looked at the clock and saw that it was almost three in the morning. Happy had left soon after he got me home. Said there was an emergency. He walked into the bedroom and looked upset.

"Baby, what's wrong."

"Miles is dead."

"What?"

I sat up in the bed and felt like throwing up. Miles and I had just been talking earlier that day. I put my hand over my mouth and felt tears sting my eyes.

"Tried stealing some of the drugs. Juice caught him. Shot Juice in the leg right before he shot Miles in the face. I shot him a few times in the chest. Just for good measure."

"Jesus Crist. Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. We buried him in an unmarked grave. As far as the club is concerned, he doesn't exist anymore."

"Oh my god."

"I'm gonna take a shower."

"Okay. You hungry?"

"No babe. Just wanna get clean and curl up with you."

I nodded and turned back towards the tv. Miles was dead. Juice could have been. I started to panic thinking it could have been Happy who found Miles, or even Jax. I got out of bed and walked down the hall to the kitchen. There was no way I was going to be able to fall asleep for a while.

"So I walk into the bedroom to curl up in bed, and realize that my sexy old lady isn't in bed."

"I hate that saying. You have at least ten years on me."

"It's just an expression."

"I know."

"You okay?"

"No."

I turned to look at him as he walked forward and pulled me into his arms.

"Talk to me."

His voice was raspier than normal. I felt bad that he was so tired but here I was crying in the kitchen. I wasn't even the one who had to witness all the shit and he was consoling me.

"Miles is dead."

"I know."

"Juice could have died."

"Yeah."

"What if it had been you?"

"That's what this is about?"

"If you hadn't come home to me-"

"But I did."

"I've lived in a world without you. I don't want to again."

"You aren't going to. Come to bed."

He tossed me over his shoulder and carried me to the bedroom. He tossed me down on the bed causing me to laugh. He climbed in right next to me, and that's when I noticed he was only wearing boxers. He ran his hand up my leg and onto my exposed side. I didn't think he was trying anything, but it made by breath catch in my throat.

"Hap?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes were closed already and it sounded like he was going to sleep. I contemplated just dropping it but I felt like if I didn't talk to him my chest would explode.

"Don't act like you're going to ask me something, then not say a word."

I wanted to tell him to take me. I wanted to tell him that I was ready to give myself to him. The idea of him never coming home and not knowing what it felt like to fully love him was breaking my heart. I couldn't make the words actually come out of my mouth, so I leaned forward and kissed him passionately.

I pulled away slightly and looked at him. His eyes opened and even in the dark I could see how dark they were. He squinted his eyes as if he was trying to read me. I placed my hand on his face and kissed him again, this time pulling him closer.

"Savannah, if you don't stop I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself."

"I know."

I kissed him again and this time he rolled so he was on top of me. His hands were holding himself up next to my head and my legs were spread so he was laying between them. I had imagined this moment so many times, but never had the guts to let it happen.

"Is this what you want?"

I tried to say yes, but no sound came out. Instead I nodded my head instead. He watched my face trying to read me.

"If you aren't ready for this, we will wait."

"It's okay. I want this."

Happy pressed his lips to mine as he ran one hand from my belly up to my chest under the t-shirt I was wearing. His hand on my breast cause me to moan softly. Spurred on by my moan, Happy ground his pelvis into mine. It sent a shock through my body, causing me to gasp. I felt like I had never had sex before, with the way my body was reacting to his. Happy put his hand back near my head to hold himself up.

"Take your shirt off."

I lifted myself up slightly and slipped out of the baggy t-shirt. I tossed it on the floor and before I could lay back down, he was kissing me. He kept one arm propping himself up as he ran his other across my naked torso. I broke away to catch my breath and he instantly kissed down my neck to my shoulder.

"You're sure you want this?"

"Yes. Please."

Happy pulled away quickly and yanked my panties off. He pulled his boxers off and climbed back on top of me. He kept his waist above me and looked down my body. My chest was heaving and I was sure he could hear my heart pounding.

"You are so beautiful."

His voice was deep and sexy as hell. I reached up and pulled his face to mine. I felt him position himself at my entrance and I held my breath. It had been a long time since I had sex, and he didn't feel like a small man. He kissed me deeply as he slowly slid himself inside of me. I broke the kiss to let a breathless moan fall from my lips. He put himself all the way in me and stopped to let me adjust to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

Keeping his eyes locked with mine, he slowly started to move inside of me. I shut my eyes, intimidated by his stare and the intense connection I could feel between us.

"Open your eyes babe."

I opened my eyes back up and saw he was still looking at me. I bit my bottom lip, my normal nervous tick, and fought to keep my eyes locked with his. I had never felt such an intense connection before. It wasn't like any sex I had ever experienced. I was feeling it throughout my whole body and was finding it impossible not to let my eyes flutter shut. Happy had a slow, passionate pace going and I could feel myself starting to head towards a climax. Happy let out a low growl as my walls started to clench down on him.

"Let go, baby girl. Fall apart for me."

He wrapped his hand around the side of my neck and put his forehead to mine. He picked up the pace slightly and after a few more thrusts, I came undone. My head arched back and I moaned loudly as the waves of pleasure hit me. After a few more thrusts, Happy found his release with a low growl. He rest his head on my forehead again and kissed my lips lightly. We both were breathing heavily and covered in a light coat of sweat.

"You okay?"

I smiled up at him and ran my fingers across his face.

"Yeah. I'm okay."

He rolled to the side of me and pulled me so we were facing each other. He ran his hand across my back lightly and kissed my forehead.

"What got into you?"

"The idea of never seeing you again.. I just couldn't deal with the idea that you wouldn't know how much I care about you. How much you mean to me."

Happy pulled the blanket over both of us and wrapped me up in his arms. I quickly started to fall asleep. Right before I lost myself to sleep, I heard Happy mumble something in my ear.

_I love you, Savannah._

 


	12. Aren't You With The Scary One?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter was smut central, so if you didn't read it because you aren't into detailed sexy time, Happy and Savannah boned. It was passionate and loving and a huge statement since she gave it up to him out of fear she would lose him. So there ya go. Synapsis. A lot happens in this next part. Like A LOT. I am going to stick to the story as much as possible.. but i'm finding it hard since they send Happy EVERYWHERE. Seriously.. this guy does EVERYTHING for this club. Jeesh. How is he supposed to be around Savannah if he's off torturing and killing people 24/7 :P So it's gonna go a little off canon but i'm gonna go there as much as possible.

I had been at the clubhouse since Happy got a phone call that Tara had been threatened. We got up way quicker than I thought possible, especially since I had worked a twelve hour shift the day before. When we got to the clubhouse, they were pulling in with some of the guys with Mayan cuts on. They said he was the president and had gotten shot. I was overwhelmed by everything that had been going on.

"They need me to go up to the warehouse."

"Now?"

"Yeah. I want you to stay here. I don't know what's going on with the threat but you don't leave without a patched member."

"Okay."

He kissed my lips quickly and walked away. I sighed and played with my phone to try to pass the time. I heard the guys talking with the guy who was shot about the cartel being in a turf war and burning families. I saw that Clay looked at me so I started acting like I wasn't paying attention. I focused in when Chucky came running in about the Sherrif being there.

"He wants to see Tara. And Savannah."

I looked at Clay and he pointed towards the door. He looked pissed as hell. I got up and followed Tara out the door. I noticed that Tig and Clay were standing behind us.

"Good morning ladies."

"Morning sherrif." Tara responded.

I nodded at him and gave him a weak smile. Even without being part of the club for long. I never had a good taste in my mouth after talking to a cop. Maybe it was in my DNA.

"You must be Savannah."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Wish I didn't have to be because of a death threat."

"It's probably nothing." Tara chimed in.

"You two okay here?"

"Of course. Thank you for checking in on us." Tara smiled sweetly.

He turned and looked at me after handing Tara a business card.

"Can I talk to you for a minute, Miss Morrow?"

I looked back at Clay and he nodded once. I turned back and walked over towards the garage with the sherrif. I could feel Clay and Tig staring at me.

"Never had a chance to welcome you to Charming."

"You walked away with me to welcome me to Charming?"

"No. I want you to be careful. I know Clay and Gemma are your parents, but this club has a tendency to get blood on everyone around them."

"Thanks for the warning, but I know my family."

He furrowed his eyebrows and tilted his head.

"You didn't say you trust them."

"Is that all you need, sir?"

"Have a nice day, Miss Morrow."

I turned and walked towards the clubhouse. Clay was waiting for me as he stared down the sherrif. My skin was crawling. The more time I spent around Clay, the less I trusted him.

"What was that all about?"

"Wanted to welcome me to Charming."

"Sure that's it?"

"Yeah. Didn't tell me anything I don't already know."

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"He just warned me that my father can't be trusted."

I walked past him and into the clubhouse, knowing that I'd catch hell for that later.

* * *

I sat at a table in the corner with a book, wanting to avoid everyone. Normally I wouldn't take what a cop said to heart, but he was right. Clay was a piece of shit. I could tell he knew about the letters and now Tara had been threatened. I was pissed. Tara had been walking around the clubhouse with the boys and she looked terrified. I couldn't blame her. I would be panicking too if there was a death threat left for me.

"Hiding in the corner, lass?"

I looked up to see Chibs smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back. Chibs was one of my favorite people in the clubhouse.

"I would normally be curled up at home reading. Can't go home."

"Aye, we'll get ya home soon darling."

"I hope so."

"What 'cha reading?"

He sat down next to me and peered at my book. I tilted it so he could see it. It was a smutty romance novel and of course I was at a juicy part.

"Oi! What the hell is this!"

He pulled the book from me and started reading it. He pulled his glasses down to get a better look and started laughing. He turned to me and I couldn't help but have a smile on my face.

"Never woulda pegged you for the trashy romance novel type, dear."

"Everyone has their guilty pleasures, Chibby."

"Aye. Guess you're right on that one. How ya holdin up with this place? I know it ain't easy sometimes."

"More like all the time. Don't need to sugarcoat anything with me. I know the kind of shit that goes on."

"Smart girl. Ya gotta get your head straight with your da though."

"I know."

"Anything ya wanna talk about?"

I thought for a second before answering. I would love to tell Chibs everything. Between what I knew about JT and what I had found out from the letters, I would have loved to unload all of it on someone. I had chosen not to tell Tara everything especially with the way Clay looked at her.

"Ever know something about someone that could save people if you told someone else?"

"Aye."

"But at the same time it could put a lot of people in danger?"

"Whatever it is, lass, we can protect you. The club can protect you."

"I'm afraid that isn't true. Not this time."

"Darlin, you gotta talk to someone."

"Talking could get people killed, so it's not gonna happen. Thank you though. It's nice to know I can go to you if I need it."

"Of course, sweet Savannah. Yer family. To all of us."

"Thanks Chibby."

* * *

I spent the night at the clubhouse. Tara went home with a guard and so did Gemma. I knew they would send someone with me if I wanted them to, but I didn't want to spread them too thin. I woke up early and heard Opie and Jax talking outside. Bobby had challenged the vote or the presidency. I knew I should have been hoping for my father to keep his position, but I hoped with everything I had that Bobby would take it.

Clay called for everyone to go vote as the rest of the guys pulled in. I saw Happy pulled in and smiled at him. He didn't return any emotion towards me but nodded. When he got off his bike he stopped for a quick kiss to my cheek before he walked in. I sighed and sat at the table.

"They're just stressed out baby. Don't take it to heart."

I saw Gemma standing near the garage with her arms crossed. She looked just as worried as I did. As much as the women weren't in the club, everything they did effected us just the same. She got into her car and drove out of the parking lot. I leaned back, not wanting to leave or even having an escort to do so. I decided to go inside to see if Chucky needed any help.

Just as I stood up to walk inside, gunfire erupted around the clubhouse. I dropped and covered my head. I heard all the guys yelling, and a truck flying into the driveway. The guys in the truck saw me as they tossed a bag out of the back. One of the men ran over to me yelling at me that I was going with him in Spanish. I tried to scramble away but he grabbed me by the hair to drag me towards the truck. Happy ran out the door and shot the guy in the shoulder. The truck sped away as Happy pulled me into his chest, facing his back to the gunfire. I looked up at his and his face was intense.

"You okay?"

"Bitch pulled my hair."

"I'll take care of it."

I nodded and tried to flatten my hair out. I noticed he had pulled some of it out and it pissed me off. I turned and watched as they found three heads in a bag. I felt my stomach tighten and I ran to a trash can to throw up. The same guys that just killed three people associated with this club almost had me. I felt a hand on my back and I turned to see Happy looking at me.

"That could have been me."

"That isn't going to happen. You aren't leaving my side. We're heading up to the reservation. You're coming with me. You know Spanish, right?"

"Yeah a little."

"Good. Might need your help."

Hap walked me over to the van where the guy was being tossed into the back. He looked at me as if asking me if I was okay. I nodded and looked at the guy in the truck and back at Happy.

"You find out what he knows." Clay growled as he pointed at Happy.

I walked around to the front seat as Juice and Chibs got in the back. I didn't want to see what Clay meant by Happy finding out the truth. I looked at the man I was dating to see a sick smile on his face. I held back the urge to throw up again as we pulled away.

* * *

We drove right up to the reservation where there was a barn. I got out as soon as the van stopped moving and I head inside. I could hear the guys dragging the Lobo's guy inside but I didn't turn to look. I walked over to a tree stump and sat on it. My stomach was still turning and I just wanted it to stop.

"If you didn't want to be here you should have told me."

I looked up to see Happy towering over me.

"Go do what you have to do, Hap. Clay gave you his orders."

"Chibs is taking care of it for a while. What's wrong?"

"They would have killed me if you hadn't stopped him."

"Yeah, but I stopped them."

"That isn't the point. You guys were in enough shit and now rival cartels are killing people. What if you hadn't walked out?"

"I'm not playing the what-if game, Savannah."

"Well maybe you all should some more. It seems like Bobby is the only one who fucking gets how dangerous this shit it."

"I know how dangerous it is."

"Yeah but you like it. I saw the look on your face when you got your orders to torture him. You get off on this shit."

"You knew who I was when you stepped forward to me."

"Yeah. You're right."

"Changing your mind?"

"Go torture your cartel gangster. We will talk later."

Happy turned and walked away without a word. I didn't think I was changing my mind, but I didn't feel right about everything. This was serious shit. It was way bigger than running some guns for the IRA. They had surpassed small time crime. This would put them in jail for the rest of their lives, if it didn't kill them all first. I wrapped my arms back around my torso as I heard the guy screaming. I stayed focusing on a few ants that were walking around by my feet.

"Jax will be here soon, Hap wants you to go back with them."

I nodded and stayed focused on the ants. They were walking around and seemed like they had no purpose. I wondered if we looked the same way to aliens or something.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not much to talk about."

"There has ta be something, lass. You look green."

"My stomach feels off. Has ever since that guy got shot trying to take me."

"Wanna know a secret?"

Chibs sat down next to me and rest his elbows on his legs. He ran his hands through his hair then turned to look at me.

"Sure."

"I freak out everytime someone gets killed."

"You do?"

"Aye. Never got used to it. Even through all me time with the Irish and the charter over there."

"I feel stupid. This guy didn't even die. I killed someone just a few months ago."

"Aye, but you had rage for him dear. Hap is just as freaked out as you are."

"Bullshit."

"He is!"

"He's loving torturing that guy."

"Can't lie and say different. This time he's pissed though. He brought you cause he's scared ta leave."

"I just really want to go home and not have to deal with worrying about being beheaded."

"Don't we all, love."

We both looked up as Jax, Clay and Bobby pulled up. Another vehicle pulled up behind them, but I didn't recognize the man who got out.

"I want ya ta stay here. If you see anyone else pull up, run to the back of the barn. There is a door there that we will get ya in. I nodded and watched him walk away. After a few minutes, more bikes rolled up but I recognized Alvarez and his crew. He spotted me and motioned for me to come over.

"You Clay's daughter?"

"Yeah."

"Heard they almost snatched you. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just a little freaked out."

He looked me over with a weird expression on his face.

"Aren't you with the scary one? Happy?"

"Yeah, why?"

He looked at me again and shook his head.

"No reason. He bring you up here to keep you safe?"

"I guess so. I really want to just get home. I'm exhausted."

He nodded and told one of his guys to stay with me. I tried to tell him I was okay but he muttered something to his guy saying embarazadas. I kept trying to rack my brain to figure out what that meant. I knew I had heard it before but I just shrugged it off. Not like I wanted to know what was going on.

I waited outside and heard the guys arguing about a snitch but I just ignored it. I was way too tired to even function. I saw Jax walk towards me with his typical Teller swag.

"You alright sis?"

"Yeah. I just want to go home and sleep."

"I know. We're all heading back. You can ride in the van with Happy."

"Mind if I ride with you?"

"Normally I wouldn't but I gotta make some other stops first. Everything okay with you two?"

"Yeah I guess."

He squint his eyes at me.

"What's wrong?"

"I almost got killed Jax. I'm freaked out. Lobos would have done some crazy shit to me before I died and you know that. I just want to breathe for a little while without being scared."

"Alright. Get in the van with Hap and head home. Take a nap. I want you to go to the benefit with mom and Clay tonight. Tig will be there too. You'll be safe."

"Where are you gonna be?"

"Don't you worry about that, darlin."

Jax went to walk away.

"Hap gonna be with you?"

"Listen, Savannah, I know you're freaked out and shit. What you need to realize though is you're just an old lady. You don't get to know everything. If there is something you need to know, you'll know it."

"And you'd think you'd understand that me not knowing shit, is going to get me killed just as quick as knowing. How can you bring people into your life and then keep them in the dark like this."

"I didn't ask you to be here."

"No. You didn't. But you should have just left me with Adam. I would have been safer."

I turned away from him and noticed that Alvarez was staring at me again. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me aside. I saw Happy take a few steps forward when he did and put his hand on his gun. Alvarez pulled me in close and whispered quickly.

"Be careful how you talk to them, mama. They don't care who you are right now. You call me if you need anything."

I nodded confused as to why he was talking to me. I only met him when he had been shot and Tara had to clean him up.

"I know you don't know me, mama. I'm closer to the Galindo than you know. Clay will do anything to keep this deal going. You and Tara aren't safe."

I looked at him and shook my head. The nausea came back and it took everything I had not to throw up on the Mayans shoes. I assumed I turned a nice shade of green because he looked at me with a sad look.

"How far along are you?"

"What?"

I realized I responded in a much louder tone than he had been whispering to me, causing everyone to look over. Happy started walking towards us but Alvarez put his hand up.

"I figured you didn't know. I mean it, mama, if you need help you call."

He stuck a piece of paper in my pocket so only his guys could see. I nodded and walked away from him towards Happy. I could see Clay staring at me and so was the guy I didn't recognize.

"What the hell was that?" Happy growled.

"Just him making sure I was okay. He heard me talking to Chibs when he was there."

"We got it covered. Don't need him poking his nose where it doesn't belong."

"Happy, let's just go home. I know you need to come back but I need to sleep."

He nodded and walked me to the door. I wasn't sure how I was going to sneak away to the store, but I knew Tara would be my only option. I was trying to figure out the last time I had my period, but I had never been consistent. I had been stressed and tired with trying to work and finish up all my school work. I climbed into the van and let Happy shut the door. I watched him walk around the front of the van and my heart sank. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to be around the club, let alone have a baby with their most sadistic member.

"You sure you're good?"

"Yeah. Mind taking me to Taras? I can take a nap in Abels room and that way you guys don't need an extra person watching me."

"Yeah. I can do that. Think you'll feel better after some sleep?"

"I hope so."

"Alright. We can talk more tonight when I get home. You good with that?"

"Yeah. I'll text you and let you know where I'm at."

* * *

I got to Jax's house and hopped out of the van quickly. Normally Happy would have walked me to the house, but he knew Tig was inside. I got up to the door and it opened before I could even knock.

"Hey doll. Jax said you were on your way here."

"Yeah. Tara here?"

"Yeah she's feeding Thomas in the back."

I walked past him and head straight down the hallway. It almost felt like I was running I wanted to get to her so quickly. I burst in the door without knocking, causing her to jump.

"Jesus, Savannah. What's wrong? Jax okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah the guys are okay. I need to talk to you quickly before Tig comes back here."

"What's wrong."

"Alvarez stopped me from walking away earlier. He was acting super weird with me and told one of his guys to watch me and kept whispering "embarazadas". I kept trying to figure out what that meant."

"Doesn't that mean-"

"Pregnant. Yeah. Then he stopped me and told me that me and you were in danger."

"Alright. One thing at a time. Are you late?"

"I don't know. I've never really been regular."

"Are you two having sex?"

"Yeah. Once. The night Miles.. The night Juice got shot."

"That was a month ago."

"Would a test show up?"

"I don't know but I have one in the bathroom. Let me put Thomas to bed and I'll be in then. Just open the door when you're done."

"Okay."

I walked into the bathroom and found the box of tests under the sink. I felt bad using stuff that she had, but there was no way I could sneak out without Tig noticing. I read the directions quickly. I made sure the door was locked when I heard Tig walking up and down the hallway and peed on the stick. I set it down on the counter and set a timer for three minutes. I opened the door slightly and Tara slipped in.

"Tig was looking for you. Told him you were gonna take a shower."

Tara leached behind me and turned the shower on.

"Isn't he going to question why we're in here together?"

"He will just assuming we're doing something gross."

"Right forgot. It's Tig."

"You do it?"

"Yeah. Just waiting for my timer to go off."

"You know you can look before three minutes right?"

"I know. I don't want to. I don't even want to look at all."

We stood there for what seemed like an eternity watching my timer go down. When the buzzer went off, we looked at each other.

"You going to look?"

"Can you do it? I feel like I'm going to get sick."

"Savannah, you need to do this."

Right as I was about to take it out of the wrapper I put it back in, I jumped at pounding on the door.

"C'mon ladies, hurry up! I gotta take a piss!"

I stuffed the test in my purse and head towards the door.

"I'll check it in the room. Tig is gonna bust the door down."

We walked out and slipped past Tig. He made some perverted comment about girl on girl action, but I was way too nervous to even listen to him. I went into Tara's room and heard her follow me in. I pulled it out of my pocket and looked at the answer screen.

"Shit."

"Savannah?"

"What the hell am I going to do?"

I handed her the very positive pregnancy test. She looked at it and frowned.

"You need to do whatever is good for you."

"I don't even know what I want for myself, let alone a child."

"I'll give you a few options. I can take you to a clinic. It's super quiet and no one would know. I have a friend who works there. I can help you talk to Happy, or I can take you with me."

"Take me where?"

"I'm leaving, Savannah. I'm taking the boys and leaving for Washington."

"Does Jax know?"

"Yeah. He does. We're going to set ourselves up there and then wait for things to cool down."

"Tara I was lucky I even got a job here. There's no way they would give me one up there."

"Don't worry about that. I'll talk to Jax. I know he'll be fine with all of it."

"Fine with what?"

We both whipped around to see Gemma standing in the doorway with her hands on her hips.

"Savannah just wanted to stay here for a few days until all this stuff blows over."

"I think that's a great idea. You guys ready? I want to head over early."

"Actually ma, I think I'm gonna stay here. I have a nasty headache from earlier."

"Oh. Alright sweetie. Gonna stay with her, Tarah?"

Tara nodded and walked down to get Thomas who had started crying. I smiled at Gemma as she walked out of the room. I sighed as I sat down on the bed and looked at my stomach. I had no idea how to deal with any of that.

On one hand, I could get up to the clinic tomorrow and be done with it. No more worrying and no more stress. A huge part of me thought I should at least tell Happy. I was upset with him, but maybe that was even due to my hormones. Tara had told me before she thought about having an abortion with Thomas, and that made my chest ache. Not that I thought the small zygote in my uterus was a breathing child yet, but no matter what I did at this point I was opening myself up to what-if situations. I looked down at my phone and saw I got a text message during the time I was in the bathroom from Happy.

**Not going to be as late of a night. Where are you?**

_Taras still. Don't want to go to the benefit._

**Alright. We're all going to the clubhouse to clean up. Want me to pick you up?**

_Yeah. When?_

**Be there in 10.**

I stuck the pregnancy test in my bag and walked out into the living room. Tig was sitting on the couch with his feet propped up.

"What's up doll?"

"Hap is coming to get me. Guess they won't be as late as they thought."

"Alright. I'll follow you over. Gem said she wanted to help clean up."

I heard the rumbling of bikes down the road and my purse seemed to be ten pounds heavier.


	13. After Everything We Have Been Through?

We had been cleaning at the clubhouse for hours. I tucked my purse inside my old room in the back to make sure no one went into it. There had been a few times I tried to say something to Happy but someone always either interrupted me or I choked up. Opie kept giving me a weird look but never said anything. We hadn't really spoken since he hit me when the whole Ima thing happened. I started sweeping a corner out when I heard someone right behind me.

"Savannah?"

Opie. I hesitated but set the broom on the wall and turned to look at him.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah."

"Roof okay?"

"Yeah that's okay. I'll follow you up."

I made eye contact with Happy and nodded at him. He went back to what he was doing but I could tell he wanted to say something. I climbed up the ladder after Opie and followed him over to where he sat down. We sat in silence for a few minutes before he cleared his throat.

"I'm sorry for how I reacted to you getting mad."

"It's whatever. Can't change it."

"No, but I am sorry."

"I probably shouldn't have said anything to you. I made it out alright, so it doesn't matter."

"You had every right to say something. Nothing you said was untrue."

"I guess."

He sighed and kicked some dirt by his boots.

"How far along are you?"

"How did you know?"

"I do have two kids."

"I know. I just was hoping it wasn't so obvious."

"I thought you were earlier. Just had a feeling. Then Alvarez was acting weird with you. Now you seem like there is a thousand pounds on your shoulder."

"I don't know what to do."

"Did I tell you Lyla and I were trying for a kid?"

"No but I heard you talking about it."

"When we split, I found out that she had an abortion before the guys went in. Right when you got here?"

"You didn't know?"

"No idea. I don't know that us having a kid would have helped a damn thing, but I wish I had known."

"You think Hap would want to know?"

"Hap is a weird guy. He is either going to be pissed or be thrilled. He's hard to read. I think you should tell him though. The fact that I could have had another kid and didn't even have a choice in it."

I nodded and started biting my lip.

"He isn't going to deal with you acting weird for long. Hope you know that."

"I know. I know I need to talk to him. I just don't know how to do it."

"Happy I'm pregnant."

"That just doesn't seem to be a great idea. Maybe I'll do a picture shoot with a baby pistol or something."

Opie laughed and pat my back hard.

"I think you just need to tell him. Soon."

"Could you ask him to come up here? Don't want anyone else to listen in in case he goes crazy. That way he can just throw me off the roof if he feels fit."

"Great, now I'm going to be an accessory to murder."

Opie laughed and walked towards the ladder.

"Hey, can you have him bring my purse up too?"

"You really are asking to get pushed off the roof."

* * *

The few minutes that passed between Opie leaving and Happy getting to the roof felt like an eternity. Everything from telling him to jumping off the roof to avoid him ran through my head. I realized that I could jump and maybe even live. I would need to go to the hospital though, and then he really would find out I was pregnant.

"You okay?"

I smiled over at Happy who was just stepping onto the roof with my purse in hand. He handed it over to me and I set it on my lap, trying to control my breathing.

"Uh, not sure."

He sat down next to me, but I noticed he sat far enough that we weren't touching.

"Is this where you tell me you're leaving because this shit is too crazy?"

"I guess it depends on your reaction."

"Reaction to what?"

I opened my purse and dug around, looking for the test. When I got my hand on it, I paused and let out a sigh. I looked at him and tried to remember his face without anger, because I didn't think I would ever see it again. I handed him the test and put my hands back on my purse, ready to walk away if I had to.

"How long have you known about this?"

"Just found out today. That's why Alvarez stopped me. He wanted to know if I was okay with it and offered help in case I needed it."

"It mine?"

"Jesus Happy. Are you kidding me?"

"Am I supposed to just know that it's mine? You're at the clubhouse all the time."

"Fuck you, Lowman. I expected you to be mad, but not call me a whore."

"Not like I can guarantee you aren't fucking around. I've been gone more than I've been here."

"So, I get a taste of that MC dick and I just can't control myself?"

"Must be. We had sex once, Savannah. Telling me I've had sex with hundreds of women and the first time I have sex with you I knocked you up?"

I felt tears well up in my eyes. I almost would rather death above him talking to me like that. He worked so damn hard to get me to forget Adam, and now his voice was just replacing it.

"After everything we've been through, how can you say those things?"

"What? That I've fucked more than I've killed? You don't want me to tell you the truth?"

"That isn't the point."

"What is the point then? You think you can just act like a psycho then throw this fucking test in my face?"

He tossed the test back on my lap as he stood up. I looked up at him and I wrapped my hand around it. I shoved it back into my bag and stood up. I went to walk past him and he grabbed my arm, hard.

"How do I know it isn't Alvarez? You two were getting pretty cozy."

"Seriously? I only saw Alvarez once before then!"

"What the hell did he stuff into your pocket?"

"My pocket?"

"Stop playing fucking stupid with me!"

He reached into my pocket and ripped the piece of paper out that Alvarez had tucked in. I had completely forgotten about it. He looked at it, crumpled it up as he scoffed and tossed it in my face. It bounced on the ground and he pushed my arm back.

"Go run to your cholo, whore. I don't want to see you back here again."

I watched him walk away and slide down the ladder. I let a sob out and quickly covered my mouth. I picked up the piece of paper off the ground and slowly uncrumpled it.

_Remember what I said._

_510-555-8419_

I pulled my phone out and dialed the number.

_Hello?_

Alvarez?

_Yes? Who is this?_

It's Savannah. I know it's late.

_It's okay, mama. You okay?_

I was actually wondering if you could come get me. If it's too much..

_No mama. Text me the address. I can be there in a half hour._

Okay. I'll text you now. Thank you.

_See you soon._

The phone clicked and I put mine back in the purse. I dug my keys out and climbed down the ladder. As soon as I turned, I saw Happy with two blonde crow eaters on his lap. I made eye contact with Opie and felt tears run down my face as I walked quickly out of the door. I was sure of one thing, if I could never walk back in the clubhouse, I would make that happen. I just hoped Alvarez could actually help me.

* * *

I pulled into my driveway and pulled my phone out. I had text Tara on the way home telling her I was leaving. I heard her pull in behind me as I ran inside to pack a bag. I left the door open, making sure she knew she was welcome in as I ran to the bedroom. I pulled out two bags and started tossing clothes in them.

"Savannah! What the hell is going on?"

"I'm leaving. Tara you were right. It's safer away from here."

"What happened."

"Happy tossed the fucking test in my face. Told me it isn't his. Told me he never wants to see me again. Tara if Clay doesn't kill me, Happy will."

"Jesus. Where are you going to go?"

"I don't know yet. Alvarez is on his way to get me. He warned me that Clay is trying to hurt us. He's the only person who has actually told me the truth."

"Can you trust him?"

"I don't know, but I can't trust many people here."

"I understand. What can I do to help?"

"Don't tell anyone you know where I went. Not Jax, not Gemma and especially not Happy. I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going but I need out of here."

"I understand. I do. More than you would ever guess."

"They're going to assume I was taken. Let them. Please let them. I'll contact you from a burner whenever I can."

"Okay. Anything."

"You should get out of here before Alvarez shows up."

Tara pulled me into a hug and it took everything I had not to cry. I wanted to protect her too. I wanted to get in my car and pick up the boys and leave. She would need to save herself though. I looked at her once last time and saw the tears falling down her face.

"I'm going to leave the car keys and my purse on the table. I'm only taking what I absolutely need."

"Makes sense. Be safe, Savannah. If you need anything you let me know."

I nodded and heard bikes come down the road. Tara ran out of the house and into her car, speeding away down the road. I tossed some more stuff in my bag and head towards the front door. I peeked out the curtain to make sure it was the right bikers, and grabbed my walled out of the purse. I stepped outside to see Alvarez and two of his guys on bikes but they weren't wearing their cuts.

"Sorry if we scared you, mama. Didn't want anyone to know who took you."

"I understand."

"You good on a bike?"

"Yeah. Wouldn't be the first time I've gotten on a bike and ran away."

"Alright. Hop on. You're riding with me."

He handed me a black hoodie and started his bike back up. I looked back at my house, wondering if I would ever see it again. I climbed on and wrapped my arms around Alvarez as we took off.

* * *

"Tara! Tara!"

"What? What's wrong?"

"Oh Jesus I though- Have you talked to Savannah?"

"No. Why?"

"Went by her house to talk to her. She got into it with Happy. She's gone. Purse and keys are there but her door was wide open."

"Oh shit. Any idea what happened?"

"No. I gotta go."

* * *

"What do you mean she's gone?"

"Her and Hap got into it. She left. Her car, key and purse are at her house. Door was wide open."

"Jax, you need to find her."

"I'm trying."

"Didn't you say Alvarez was talking to her?"

"Yeah but I don't think he would snatch her out of her house."

"Call him. Please. If he doesn't have her.."

"Yeah. I know. I'll do everything I can."

* * *

"Clay, did you have anything to do with this?"

"You think I would hurt my own daughter?"

"I know you hurt Piney. I know you wanted to hurt Tara. Her and Tara are close."

"You're being ridiculous."

"Clay, look me in the eyes and tell me you'd never hurt our daughter."

"I don't have time for this. I'll see you at home."


	14. Everyone Thinks You're Dead

Alvarez drove me up to Oakland, and I was surprised to see that he took me directly to his house. It was small, but cute. There was a high fence up around it just like all the rest of the houses in the neighborhood. There was a ton of bikes in his driveway and I could see them all sitting in the garage.

"You good?"

"Yeah. I'm okay."

"You eaten lately?"

"No, actually. I don't think I've had anything to eat today."

"Let's get you inside."

I nodded and went to pick up my bags but a younger guy with short hair grabbed them and smiled at me. He motioned for me to walk ahead of him so I turned to go inside. Alvarez was holding the door open for me. I wrapped my arms around my torso, feeling cold from the ride up.

"It's warm in here. Should have put a jacket on you before we left."

"I'll be okay."

He turned to a woman in the house but I was too tired to focus on what they were saying. She got up and started cooking.

"Oh, you don't need that. Something that's already made is okay."

"No. You need to eat some good food. Will warm you up."

The woman was older and beautiful. I could see a resemblance between Alvarez and her very quickly.

"This is my mother. Asked her to come over to make sure you're okay. She's a midwife."

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

Alvarez sighed and sat down on the couch. He motioned for me to sit down next to him.

"We all live a really hard life. We choose it. We choose to put this patch on. People like kids and old ladies they don't. They choose to love someone and get caught up in all of this shit. I know the Sons believe it's all a choice, but we don't here."

"So you just keep your women at bay?"

"We take care of family. When all this cartel shit went south, I sent my wife and daughter away. They changed their names and I'll never hear from them again."

"The Sons would never do that."

"They aren't wrong for doing it their way. We just do things differently."

I nodded and looked up at the woman as she set a plate of hot food on my lap. She smiled at me, motioning for Alvarez to leave. He got up and let her sit down.

"I'll be out in the garage. Come on out if you can't sleep. I'll introduce you to the guys."

"Thank you, Alvarez."

"Call me Marcus."

I nodded and took a bite of the food in front of me. I had no idea what it was, but it was warm and it tasted fantastic. I shoveled some into my mouth and looked over at Marcus' mother.

"I'm sorry. I'm eating like a pig."

"No, sweetheart, you're fine. Marcus says you called him for help. You're part of the Sons?"

"I'm the president's daughter."

"Who's the father of the one in you?"

"One of the guys. We were together but he freaked out when he found out."

"How far along?"

"I don't know. I think about six weeks."

"I have equipment in my house. I'll take you there tomorrow and we can see what's going on. You thought about what you want to do?"

"I have no idea. I was hoping that my family.."

I stopped knowing that I was going to start crying. I had spent my whole life wanting a family and now it was gone. I was either going to be a single mother or a single woman on the run.

"Whatever you decide, mama, I'll help you."

"I'm sorry. I just never expected to be so alone."

"I don't know you, but I can see you're strong. My son knows who he can trust, and him bringing you here speaks volumes. Now eat. Eat until you can't eat anymore. Drink this too. Helps with nausea."

She pushed forward a cup of tea and I took a sip from it. My churning stomach instantly calmed down and I sighed. I looked over to see her smiling at me. She pat my leg and walked over to get a blanket. She draped it across my shoulders and brushed my hair back. She reminded me of Gemma. She seemed much nicer, but I also wasn't family to her.

"You need anything else?"

"No. This is already more than enough."

"You tired?"

"I am absolutely wired still. I know it's late but I doubt I will sleep tonight."

"The guys will be up most of the night. Marcus had me set up his bed for you. It's right across from the bathroom."

"I can sleep on the couch. I don't want to put him out."

"Nonsense. He won't have it. You need your sleep."

"Okay. I don't know how I can ever repay-"

"Hush child. You don't owe us anything."

"What can I call you?"

"My name is Selene. If you need anything let me know okay?"

"Yeah. Thank you."

"I'll see you in the morning. I'm an old woman. I need some sleep. I'll come by and get you so we can check you out."

I nodded as she walked out the door. I finished eating and rinsed my plate of. I noticed the dishes on the counter and decided to do them too. I heard the door open and turned to see Marcus walking in.

"I didn't bring you to do my dishes."

"I know. Figured I could at least do this to help you."

"Most of the guys left already."

"Yeah I know it's getting late."

"Selene set you up in the bedroom?"

"Yea she said you demanded I sleep in there."

"Yes. I did."

I dried my hands off and pulled my sleeves back down. I realized I was still wearing his hoodie. I slipped it off and hung it over the chair.

"Warm?"

"Just realized I had your hoodie. That's all."

"It was my sons. You can have it."

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose."

"Keep it. Come sit down and talk to me."

* * *

We had been talking for hours by the time I got tired. I could tell he was exhausted, but he continued to listen to my stories. I told him about how Jax and Happy found me. I even told him about how I killed Adam. He was concerned about Clay handing me the gun and had the same suspicions that Tara did about wanting to trap me.

We talked about my whole past, including how I ended up on his couch. I told him how Happy reacted and I could tell he was pissed. He didn't seem to show emotions very often, but he was a whole different man in the confines of his house.

He told me about his son, Esai. He had sacrificed him to create peace between the Sons and Mayans. He seemed so sad when he spoke of his son, but made it clear that it was business. Esai had chosen to be a part of the club and that means he was willing to do anything to ensure its survival. He then told me Happy was the one who killed him.

"Is that why you're helping me? To get back at Happy?"

"No. If I wanted to get back at him I would have killed him. I don't kill women."

"The Sons say the same thing, but I know of a few who have."

"No one here will hurt you. Or your child if you decide to keep it."

"I hope I don't sound unappreciative. I just don't understand why you reached out to me. I mean you could have been asking me club secrets for payment of helping me. So far you've done nothing but help me and demanded nothing in return."

"Me and the cartel are close. Always have been. None of us trust Clay. I was around when JT died."

"You mean when Clay killed him."

He looked at me and nodded slowly.

"You know more than you should."

"I know. I mean I knew before hand, but now I really know. I read a bunch of letters from JT's side piece in Ireland. He suspected Clay and my mom the whole time. Clay tried controlling me when I got here too."

"I really think him having you kill your ex was to keep you in line."

"I don't know."

"Might want to make sure whatever gun he had you use is cleaned."

"Not like I'm there anyway."

"Alright. Worry about it later. Why don't you get some sleep?"

"I am actually pretty tired."

"Go ahead, mama. I'll see you in the morning."

I walked down into the bedroom and curled up in the bed, not worrying about changing. The blanket was warm and smelled like it was freshly washed. I closed my eyes not wanting to think anymore.

* * *

I woke up the smell of food throughout the house. I looked over and saw a pill on the table with a note saying it was for nausea. I put it in my mouth and let it dissolve. The smell of food went from nauseating to smelling great within a few minutes. I woke up and saw my bags sitting next to the door. I smiled at how kind the Mayans had been to me so far. I walked over to the bag and pulled out a pair of jeans and a ripped up t-shirt. Right underneath was Happys Sons hoodie. I held it up and frowned at it before I tossed it back in the bag. I opened the door to see a fresh towel folded by the bathroom door with a note telling me to use whatever I needed.

The hot water in the shower felt fantastic. I had slept hard the night before and all my muscles felt stiff. There was a brand-new bottle of shampoo and conditioner on the counter. It wasn't what I normally used, but it was close. I got out the shower and dressed quickly. I didn't want to monopolize the bathroom completely. I heard a knock on the door just as I was finishing up.

"I'll be right out."

"Food is ready, mama."

Marcus was standing at the door when I opened it. He smiled at me and took the towel out of my hand.

"Sleep okay?"

"Yeah, actually I did. Little sore this morning though."

"Stress will do that. Some days I feel dead when I wake up."

I laughed lightly and followed him to the living room. I saw that the whole place was full of Mayans.

"You didn't say that the girl was he prez's daughter." One of the guys said to Marcus.

"Yeah. She is. And she is welcome in this house. I expect you all to treat her like you treat my mother."

I felt my face flush. I was uncomfortable with the fact that the guys knew who I was just by looking at me. I also was uncomfortable with how they all were staring.

"Come here, sweet child. Eat. Make sure you drink plenty and don't go to the bathroom. Need to do an ultrasound as soon as we're done." Selene ordered.

I nodded and took the plate of food from her. It was practically overflowing with how much she had piled on it. It smelled fantastic. It had been a while since I had a hot meal for breakfast. I noticed that the younger guy who carried my bags in was looking at me.

"Hey, thanks for carrying my stuff in last night."

"No problem, chica. You looked tired."

"I was. My name is Savannah, by the way."

"Hernando."

"Ah you met Hernando? He's one of my best guys." Alvarez smiled.

"Ya, she thanked me for carrying her bags. Didn't know white girls were all so nice."

I laughed and almost choked on my food.

"You do know who my mother is right?"

Hernando looked at Marcus and shook his head.

"Prez's old lady."

"Oh. I heard she's a piece of work."

"Basically."

"Savannah, Hernando here is going to be shadowing you. Jax and Clay have already been calling for me to keep an eye out for you. I want someone on you at all times."

"Okay. I'm used to having a prospect with me. So having a patched member isn't that crazy."

"You're the prez's daughter and they only put a prospect with you? That's like handing you a puppy and saying it can protect you."

I giggled at Hernando. I had always thought of Rat and Phil as rather large puppies. They never meant any harm, they just seems so insecure around the other guys. I finished my food quickly and went to wash the dish, but a Mayan prospect quickly took it out of my hands.

"Ready to go, chica?"

I nodded at Hernando and followed him out. Selene had head out early to get the equipment set up. The ride only took us about five minutes to make. We got to the house and I started dancing around, realizing I really had to pee. Hernando laughed at me and walked me inside into a back room that was set up like a doctors office.

"Little mama has to pee, Selene. I'm gonna wait in the living room."

"Alright, don't eat all the cookies."

"I'll try!"

Selene handed me a gown and told me to change. I glanced at her for a second, but when I realized she wasn't going to leave the room I just changed quickly. When I was done she pat the table and I sat down.

"You think you're six weeks?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. I'm going to do the one that goes inside. It will be uncomfortable, but it is how it works best this early."

"Okay."

She clicked the machine on and inserted the wand. I made a face which made her laugh. It was cold. She turned the screen so we both could see it.

"See the oval?"

"Yeah."

"See the little dot inside of the oval?"

"Yeah."

"That's the baby. You're measuring at six weeks and three days."

I looked at the dot and blinked a few times. All of this trouble of a tiny little dot. She pressed a button and beeping filled the room. I looked at her and she smiled.

"That's the heartbeat. Can't always hear it this early, but it's strong."

I looked back at the screen and couldn't believe it. That little dot now turned into a dot with a heartbeat. I put my hand on my stomach and looked down. I was hoping seeing that it was real would help me decide what to do. It just made me feel even more confused.

"I'll print some pictures out. I know it isn't much but it's something."

She let me get cleaned up and handed me the pictures. I held them in my hand and felt numb. Happy should be standing next to me with a smile on his face. That's what I wanted isn't it? I frowned even deeper realizing I had no idea what I wanted.

"Go on out and sit with Hernando. I'll be out in a bit and we can talk okay?"

"Yeah. Thanks."

I walked out and sat on the couch next to the Mayan. He had a plate of cookies on his lap while he laughed at the tv. He handed me a cookie without even looking.

"Everything good, chica?"

"I don't know."

I gently bit the cookie while he turned the tv off.

"What's up?"

I handed him the pictures and pulled my knees to my chest.

"That dot the baby?"

"Yeah."

"Huh. Tiny thing."

"Yeah I guess."

"What you gonna do?"

"I have absolutely no idea."

"Father know?"

"Yeah."

"Gonna send him a picture?"

"He's the reason you guys picked me up last night. He doesn't want a damn thing to do with me or a kid."

"Ah. Shit. I'm sorry preciosa."

I hugged my arms around my legs and rest my head on my knees. I wanted nothing more than to call my mother and talk to her, but I knew she would demand I came home. I couldn't go back though. Even if I wanted to I knew I couldn't face Happy. In all reality, I was in just as much danger here as I was with the Sons.

"I noticed you picked up on some Spanish I spoke."

"Yeah. I took it in college. I don't speak it very well but if I'm focusing I can understand most of it"

"College huh?"

"Yeah. Planned on going to medical school in some form but it never panned out."

"Why not go now?"

"I had myself set up for classes through St Thomas. They gave me a job and were paying for my classes."

"Damn, that's a sweet gig chica."

"Yeah. Too bad it pretty much went out the window."

"You really can't go back?"

"I can. I just know it isn't safe."

I could tell he wanted to pry more, but his questions were starting to dance a dangerous line. As much as I would love to tell everything to everyone, I just couldn't. I was still loyal to the Sons, even if I was running away from them. I saw Selene walk out and Hernando stepped outside after patting my leg.

"Alright, Savannah. Time to talk about options. You don't need to decide anything today. You're still early enough that no matter what you decide it will be okay."

I nodded and shifted so I was sitting cross legged on the couch.

"If you decide to terminate I can do it here. Marcus made it clear you can stay at his house and you will be protected. If you decide to keep it, same goes. He isn't going to push you out on your ass. He will keep you safe from whatever threat is out there."

I nodded and played with the frayed end of my jeans. As much as I wanted to say it wouldn't make a bit of difference, know I had somewhere to stay that was safe for me was a huge deal. I knew no matter what I did I could go back to the Sons, but I couldn't guarantee that Clay wouldn't try to kill me.

"Let Hernando take you back over. Think for a while. If you need to talk to someone, let me know."

"Thank you, Selene."

I got up and went outside, seeing that Hernando was already on his bike. He smiled at me and started the bike. I laughed knowing that he had been listening in the whole time. The great part of it was he wasn't trying to hide it. There didn't seem to be the sense of secrecy with the Mayans like there was with the Sons.

* * *

I had been sitting under a tree in the back yard reading for hours. I was relieved to remember that I had grabbed a bunch of books when I took off. Reading helped me focus in a weird way. It let me escape reality long enough to relax and that helped me think once I put the book down. At that moment, I was more than happy to be reading about drama in other people's lives.

"Hey, mama."

I smiled up at Marcus as he sat down next to me. It was always funny to see big tough bikers doing normal stuff. I always figured I'd get used to it, but watching the Mayans just made it even more amusing.

"Hey, Marcus. Hope it's okay I'm over here reading."

"Of course. I told you to make yourself comfortable. I just hope you aren't out here because you feel out of place."

"You mean in a house full of bikers? I've never felt more at home."

He laughed at me as I smiled. I was sure that most women would be very uncomfortable. I knew about the wars between the Mayans and Sons. I knew that at one point if I had shown up on their doorstep no one would have found the body.

"I just got a call from Jax. Tara got hurt."

"What? Is she okay? What happened?"

"Her and Jax were heading up to Washington with the boys. Van pulled up and grabbed her while he was away."

"Lobos?"

"That's what they're saying. I talked to Galindo though. Clay ordered a hit on Tara. And you."

I pulled my phone out and saw fifteen missed calls and twenty different messages. I had turned off the gps on it and made it so Juice couldn't track it. He had shown me how to before and I was glad. It made calls harder to make but it was worth it if no one could find me.

"That's why he hasn't called. He thinks the hit went through."

"Who has tried calling?"

"Mom, Opie, Jax, Tig and Chibs."

"No Tara?"

"She's knows I left. I'm actually surprised Kozic didn't call more."

"Which one is Kozic? Blonde?"

"Yeah. Him and Tig were the two that kept me sane when everyone was in jail."

"Oh shit. Savannah, Kozic got killed when they were trying to take out the Lobos. Jax has it in his head that's who went after Tara."

I could hear what he was saying but it didn't make sense. There was no way Kozic was gone. He had been such a staple in my life since I showed up in Charming.

"Are you sure? I mean, are you sure it was him?"

"He stepped on a land mine. Lobos had them set up everywhere."

I felt the tears sting my eyes as I set my book down. If anything, this made me even more furious at Clay. Kozic had been through so much in his life, just to be blown up by a cartel. The guy had been a junky for most of his young life, then kicked it just to join the Marine Corp. He survived all his deployments and being shot at just to be taken down by Clay. I thought about trying to hide my tears from Marcus, but I just didn't care anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Savannah. I had no idea you were close to him."

"Clay would kill everyone if given the chance. I hate him."

It took me longer than normal to say what I wanted to, as I tried to work them through my sobs. I pulled my knees to my chest and tried more than anything to just breathe. I cried for Kozic. I would never see his goofy smile again. I would never see him push his hair to the side and smile as I picked on him. I would never see him and Tig argue and fight as they tried to bet on who was better. I would never try to make them stop arguing and fist fighting. I would give my life to see the two of them happy again trying to best each other at pool. I closed my eyes and tried to remember everything about him, but my grief was playing tricks on me. My heart felt like it was breaking into pieces.

"I didn't even say goodbye to him. I just left. He died thinking I was dead."

"I wish there was some way I could ease your pain. He died for the club he loved. He died hoping to revenge you."

"He died because Clay is greedy."

"Come inside, Savannah."

He helped me up and I felt another set of hands on me. I looked up from the ground and through my tears I could see Hernando helping me. I wanted to smile at him and tell him everything was okay, but it wasn't. Clay had taken so much from me. He had killed so many people. My world was falling apart and there was nothing I could do about it.

My mind flashed to Happy. If there was anyone in the world that was his best friend, it would be Kozic. They both came to Charming together. Kozic knew Happy better than anyone, even me I thought. Happy talked to him and they had been together a lot lately. Clay sent them on runs together. My heart ached thinking he thought I was dead too. Then my mind flashed to him with the crow-eaters and the pain got worse. I curled up in bed letting sleep take my mind over. I couldn't deal with anything else.

* * *

I woke up in my bed to my phone vibrating. I looked down to see five more missed calls from Opie. I hesitated, not knowing if I could trust him calling. When his call came through again, I answered.

"Opie?"

"Jesus Christ, Savannah you're alive."

"I can explain."

"Piney is dead."

"What? What did you say?"

"I went up to the cabin to get him for Kozic's service. Clay shot him."

It was hard to hear what he was saying through the sobs.

"Opie, I don't even know what to say. How do you know it was him?"

"Unser followed me up. Gemma knew. Wanted him to cover it up and make it look like Lobos."

"Lobos didn't kill him. Lobos didn't go after Tara either."

"Where are you? I want to see you."

I looked up at the door and saw Marcus standing there.

"Hold on Ope, ill call you right back."

I hung up and looked at Marcus. He walked in and sat on my bed.

"You answered for him."

"It's Ope. I trust him."

"I thought he hit you?"

"Yeah. He did. I trust him though. Marcus, Clay killed Piney."

"The old man? Wasn't he a founder?"

"Yeah. Clay and him have been butting heads. He knows a lot about what happened to JT."

"If you think you can trust Opie, he is welcome here. Tell him to cover his colors. I'm not gonna have time to warn everyone."

I dialed Opie quickly.

"Yeah?"

"You know where Alvarez lives right?"

"In Oakland? Why are you with Alvarez?"

"I'll explain everything as soon as you get here. You okay to ride?"

"I'll be there in an hour."

* * *

I was up and pacing waiting for Opie to get there. Marcus had called a few guys to pull more security. I felt horrible that he was doing so much for me, just to bring more danger to his people.

"Savannah, you're going to walk a rut into my floor."

"I'm sorry Marcus. I'm putting you right in the middle of all of this. I'll pack my bags and leave with Opie."

"Absolutely not."

"You're saying I can't leave?"

"You can leave if you want. You aren't causing me any issues and you're not held captive. You aren't the first Son to show up looking for help."

"I'm not a Son. I'm not even an old lady."

"You have the heart of a Son. Can't deny that."

I chewed on my lip not knowing what to say. Most people would scoff at being compared to the Sons, but they were my family. I went to answer him but I heard a bike roll up. I popped up off the couch and Alvarez motioned for me not to move. He walked to the window with his gun in his hand. He peeked out the window and nodded towards me. I heard the bike stop and I ran out the door to see Opie.

"Savannah."

I ran into his arms and he held me close. I couldn't help but cry. I felt stupid. Piney wasn't my dad.

"I thought you were dead."

"I know. I'm so sorry. I didn't know who I could tell."

"I get it."

He looked at Marcus and nodded. He seemed unsure and I could tell his arms around me were more protective at that point.

"He been helping you?"

"Yeah. Marcus came and picked me up. I needed to get out of there."

"Marcus? First name basis with the Mayans."

"I've been here for a few days, Opie."

"It's time to fill me in."

I turned and saw Hernando standing next to Marcus. He smiled at me and walked up. I felt Opie stiffen but I pulled out of his arms.

"You can use the house. Marcus and I have to head out anyway. Check on the warehouses."

"Thank you, Hernando."

He pulled my phone out of my hand and programmed my number into it.

"You call me if you need anything. Something tells me you're in good hands though."

I leaned into Opie and nodded my head. I grabbed his hand and walked him towards the house. I could feel how uncomfortable he was at this house, but it was the only way I knew how to stay safe and tell him what's going on.

"So, what you're telling me is Clay put a hit out on you and Tara and killed my old man because he made it seem like he knew about letters from Belfast?"

"Basically."

"What I don't understand is why you ran? Why didn't you tell us what was going on?"

I handed him the ultrasound pictures off the table. He looked at them and nodded.

"I knew you were pregnant. We talked about this."

"Happy, he uh didn't take it very well."

"I kind of figured. He was way too interested in those croweaters until you left."

"Until I left?"

"As soon as you ran out the door he pushed them off him. Stormed off into his dorm. Barely talking."

"He barely talks anyway."

"Savannah. He's a mess. Everyone thinks you're dead."

"That's how it needs to be right now. Look at what has happened. Tara almost got taken. I almost got taken! Piney is dead. Kozic is dead."

My voice hitched as I stopped a sob from coming out. I wasn't sure if it had to do with hormones or what, but I only stopped crying about Kozic when I fell asleep. Hernando had tried to keep me busy enough to not think about it, but it didn't work.

"You know about Kozic."

"Yeah. Marcus told me."

"It is really freaking me out that you call him by his first name. What's up with his other guy too?"

"Hernando? He's been my body guard."

"How did this even happen?"

"I called him when Happy freaked out. He accused me of fucking around. Said I've been at the clubhouse too much for him to think it's his kid. Told me to never come back."

"So, you called Alvarez."

"Yeah. He knew Clay wasn't safe. I don't know who is safe anymore. Everyone I thought that would be there for me hasn't."

"Why me? Why answer for me? Everyone has been calling you. You chose to answer for me of all people."

"Ope, you hit me. You did something I sat there and promised myself I would never let anyone do again. I swore on my life no one would ever get away with that."

"I really am sorry."

"And I know that. You helped me Ope. You helped me learn I can't live in absolutes. I need to forgive when people deserve forgiveness."

"I think Jax knew what was going on."

"You really think he would let Clay kill your old man?"

"He isn't who I thought he was."

"No one is."

"So you haven't talked to anyone at all?"

"Just you."

"So you have no idea what's been going on?"

"I know Tara was hurt. I know Kozic is dead. I now know Piney.."

"Clay beat the shit out of Gemma."

"What?"

"They got into it about my old man. She got in a few good licks but she looks rough. Idk what to do."

I grabbed the sides of his face gently and made him look at me.

"Get mad. Give them hell, Ope. Don't let them get away with this shit. They killed Donna and now they killed your dad. Fuck them. Fuck them for hurting you. Fuck them for killing Kozic and Piney."

"Come back with me, Savannah. Help me take care of Piney. I'll keep you hidden. I'll keep you safe."

I hesitated. Opie wanted blood and I didn't think I had it in my heart to stop him. I don't think if given the chance, I could warn Clay that he needed to run. He ripped everything away from me. Everyone I held dear in my life, he hurt.

"I can't face Happy."

"Savannah, he thinks you're dead. It's eating at him. Even if he doesn't want the kid, he wants you. Clay put that shit into his head about you being at the clubhouse too much. I don't know if he meant to, but I could tell it bothered Hap."

"I'll go with you if you keep me away from everyone else. I'm not ready to let them know I'm alive."

"Alright. Let's go."

 


	15. It Should Have Been Your Choice

We got on the bike after I sent Hernando a quick text. I didn't want to leave without letting them know what was going on. I wrapped my arms around Opie as we took off towards Charming. I could feel how tense he was as we drove. The sun was starting to come up as we hit the town lines. I had slipped the black hoodie back on so no one knew who I was. No one would think it was me. We stopped down the road from Gemma's house.

"Stay here. Act like a crow-eater."

"You never let crows ride with you."

"I just lost my second wife. No one is going to question anything I do."

I nodded and pulled my phone out. I leaned back on the bike and tried to look like the women around the clubhouse. I had watched them enough but it just felt off to me. I would much rather be sitting next to the bike, but a crow would be hanging all over the bike. Trying to stand out would make me blend in. Ope wasn't gone for long before he came back out.

"She looks rough. Wouldn't admit to anything."

"She isn't going to."

I went silent for a minute. I wanted to run into the house and tell her I was alive, but I knew it wasn't wise.

"How bad was she?"

"She's gonna be alright, Savannah. We gotta go. You okay?"

"Yeah. I'm okay. I just wish I could go in there."

"She knows about my old man. She looked me dead in the eyes and didn't tell me."

I sighed. I didn't know how she did it. I could never do that to anyone, let alone Opie. I hugged him not knowing what to say, but knew I needed to comfort him. He wrapped his arms around me and I felt him sigh into my hair. I pulled apart and we got back on the bike. We had a lot more we needed to do.

"Want to go see Tara?"

"Gemma will be there. I can't."

"I have a burner you can call her later."

"Okay. What are you going to do with Piney?"

"I have it taken care of. We're going to see him cremated sometime tonight."

"Want me to go with you?"

"I don't want to ask you for that, but I really would like you to go."

"I'm there, Ope. We're in this together."

We drove up to the cemetery. I asked Opie if anyone would look for him there, but he said it was too big for it to be an issue. We went straight to Donna's grave. I gave him a while by himself but felt like he would stay there forever if he could. I walked up and saw him kneeling in front of the stone. I stood behind him and put my hand on his shoulder.

"I miss her so much."

"I'd give anything to bring her back for you."

"Gonna do some necromancy shit for me?"

"And bring on the apocalypse? Idk, I might be bringing a kid into the world. An apocalypse might be better than this shit."

Opie scoffed out a laugh and nodded his head. He stood up and put his arm around my shoulder.

"Let's go sit somewhere. We have time until we need to go see Piney off."

"Okay."

We rode down the road a few miles until we reached a man-made pond. Ope cut the engine and we walked over to a clean spot. He tossed down his jacket and motioned for me to sit down.

"You know I don't mind sitting on the ground."

"I know. Your clothes look nice though. Keep them clean."

"Alright."

I sat down and pulled my knees to my chest. He sat down next to me, with his long legs splayed out in front of him.

"Gonna have to call Jax soon."

"I know."

"He's gonna find out you're alive. Unser too."

"That's okay. I'll deal with it."

"I want you to stay with Jax when I go to leave."

"No."

"I need you to distract him."

"Opie, no. I told you, we're in this together. He stole from me too."

He sighed and kicked at the ground.

"You're just as stubborn as your brother is."

"Yeah. I'm not nearly as blind though."

"You got that right."

We fell into a comfortable silence. I watched the waves ripple on the water. I laughed at how philosophical I was being. One ripple, one person, could create so much havoc.

"If we make it out of this. If we stop Clay. You gotta tell them all you're alive."

"I know."

"You need to talk to Happy. I doubt he is going to just accept a bullshit answer."

"Oh I know he won't. I don't mind telling him. I'm not going to sugar coat it though. I wouldn't have left if he hadn't pushed me away."

"He may have saved your life then."

I thought about that for a while. He was right. Even though it broke my heart what he did, I was at least still breathing. Who knows exactly what Clay had planned for me. Tara and Gemma were both hurt by him. I was sitting next to a man who had lost almost everyone because of him. I sighed and looked at the broken man next to me. I reached over and took his hand, causing him to look at me. I wanted him to know I was there, even if lost in my thoughts.

"Call Jax. It's time. We can get over there before he gets there."

"Alright. Let's go."

* * *

We got to the crematorium in no time. He parked his bike and we walked inside. I left the hoodie outside, no longer afraid of being found. The next few hours were going to go by quick, and I didn't need something baggy holding me back. We walked inside and there was a box in the oven. My breathing hitched when I realized Piney was in there. His vest was hanging on the handle with a note telling us to press the button when we were ready.

"You can say goodbye."

I nodded at him and walked forward. I took the vest off the handle and held it to me. It still smelled like him even over the coppery smell of blood. I hugged it to my chest and let the tears fall down my face. My mind flashed back to all the wisdom and well wishes the old man had given me. I let myself remember the smile on his face when we danced to The Beatles for hours. It was the happiest I had ever seen him. Opie had even been smiling. My mind flashed to Kozic too. I had missed his service, but my heart still ached for him. I felt a hand on the small of my back and knew it was Opie.

"Its time, Savannah. Jax will be here soon."

I nodded and took a step back, handing the vest to Opie. He held it in one hand as he stepped back next to me after pressing the button. In no time, the flames engulfed the box. The smell was horrible, but I barely noticed past the tears streaming down my face. The door opened and I saw Unser walk in.

"Savannah? Is that you."

"Not now, Unser. We're here for Piney."

"Everyone thinks-"

"I know. Not now."

I listened to the two men talk. Unser was trying to fix things but Opie wasn't having it. A few minutes later, the door opened again. I knew it had to be Jax. I felt myself press into Opie's side, nervous about all of this. Opie looked at him with a dead look on his face.

"Oh my god. What happened?"

"Found him at the cabin. Shot gun to the chest."

"Jesus Christ. Ope I am so sorry."

He hugged onto Ope, not even noticing me.

"Yeah."

"You think it was the Mexicans?"

"I'll fill you in. I just wanted to say goodbye. I know that he'd want you here."

"Yeah okay."

I saw out of the corner of my eye that he saw me. His eyes opened wide but he didn't say a word. Opie tossed the cut into the fire and we all watched it burn. Jax with sadness, Opie with pure vengeance in his eyes.

We went outside and I climbed on the bike behind Opie. Jax came out right after us looking between us.

"Savannah. Where have you been?"

"Doesn't matter."

"The fuck it doesn't! Everyone thinks you're dead! Tara has been in the hospital thinking you're dead."

"Tara doesn't think I'm dead."

"What?"

"Tara was the only one I told I was leaving."

"Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?"

Opie pulled his gun and pointed it at Jax's face. I stayed on the bike knowing we would need to leave in a hurry. As mad as Opie was, I didn't think he would actually pull the trigger.

"You should know. You're Clay's boy."

"What are you talking about?"

"Clay killed my old man. Wanted to kill your sister."

"No. No Ope."

"Yes." He said through gritted teeth.

"He killed my wife. Now my father. For fucks sake he wanted to kill your sister! Did you know? DID YOU KNOW!?"

"NO OPE! Of course not! Bro, if Clay did this, it is a club issue. Let's take it to the table. Let everyone know."

"Okay. You're out. Remember?"

He shot Jax's tires and climbed on. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we took off. I could hear Jax screaming for us to stop as he ran towards Unsers truck. We took off fast towards the clubhouse. I held on tight, knowing it was going to be a bumpy ride. The wind felt amazing through my hair. I didn't think I had ever gone this quick on a bike in my life. I could feel Ope's heart pounding in his chest as we drove. We wove in and out of traffic and for the first time since I left, I felt alive.

We pulled into the clubhouse and he hopped off quickly. I scrambled to follow him as he burst into the clubhouse. He went straight for the chapel, where he kicked the doors in. The quick movements knocked Clay off his feet. I stood back a few feet watching it all play out.

"Don't."

He said as clay reached for his gun. He tossed it on the ground, landing at my feet. Clay looked at me for a split second and I could see how afraid he was. I wasn't sure if it was me or Opie, but he looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Sit. You're going to die. At the gavel."

"I get to say anything?"

"Did my old man get to say anything? Before you blew a hole in his chest?" Opie yelled.

I could feel the rage coming from him. I had never seen anyone look so angry and defeated as I saw the man in front of me. It was at that point I realized he didn't plan on leaving the clubhouse alive.

"SIT DOWN!"

Clay sat down

"Someone has been lying to you Ope."

"Having Donna killed. THAT A LIE!?"

"Jesus Christ, that's history man. Stahl bending the truth. That score is settled."

"No it's not. You sit down."

I put my hand over my mouth, trying to hide the sob that I found coming out of my mouth. Opie was shaking so hard. He had been holding all of this in for so long. You could always see the sadness in his eyes, but never this rage. Clay looked at me and set his jaw.

"You a part of this? Feeding Opie lies?"

"I haven't fed him anything. I can see just how shocked you are that I'm alive. Your little plan didn't work."

"You're just as full of shit as your mother is."

"SIT DOWN!" Opie demanded.

Clay sat down slowly. The look of terror is his eyes was somewhat satisfying. It was nice to see him feel just a taste of what I had been feeling for weeks. The hunter became the hunted. Jax came in behind me and pulled his gun. I moved forward, blocking him from getting a clear shot on Opie.

"Ope! Put it down! Please. Don't make me kill you.

Opie looked at him and smiled. He let out a sigh of relief before he turned back and fired three rounds into Clay's chest. Clay went flying back and hit the wall, blood spraying everywhere. Jax had a look of terror and I stifled a sob. I was still blocking his path as he stood, dumbfounded, that Opie pulled the trigger. Opie went to fire again and Jax pulled his gun up. I pushed it down without warning and it went off. I yelled out in pain, which stopped Opie from continuing to fire. I crumped onto the ground, holding my side. I pulled my hands up seeing blood. I looked at Jax and he looked horrified.

Jax stepped forward and punched Opie in the face, knocking him to the ground. I lay on the ground sobbing, never feeling pain like this before. Even being stabbed was nothing compared to this. It was like a red-hot bolt had gone through me. I looked over, making sure Opie was okay. Jax ran to clay and started checking him over.

Rat and Unser busted in.

"What the hell happened?"

"Call an ambulance now!"

"Get me outside. Happened in the garage." I heard Clay croak out.

Jax started carrying Clay outside but stopped short when he saw me bleeding on the floor.

"What the hell do I tell Roosevelt? Mexicans?" Unser yelled.

"No. Black." Clay responded.

"Rat, take him outside. Unser take care of the guns and clean up the blood. I'll get her."

He scooped me up in his arms and held me close. I was trying not to scream out, but he was pressing right into where I was shot.

"You better hang in there, sis. You need to explain all of this to me. I just found out you're not dead, so you aren't dying now."

I nodded and let my head fall back, tired of feeling the pull of my abdomen by keeping my head up. He carried me over to Opies truck, which had been sitting at the lot, and told Opie to get in. Opie pulled me onto his lap, cradling me as we went to the hospital. He was holding an old t-shirt on the wound, and the other hand was brushing the hair out of my face. He had tears falling down his face and I couldn't help but smile as some of them fell on my forehead. He wiped them off quickly.

"I am so sorry, Savannah." He said quietly.

"You aren't the one who shot me."

He looked over at Jax, who was giving orders to Rat and Unser. I heard something about him telling Rat that it was two black guys in an SUV. He asked Unser if he was going to live and Unser told him to get going. He ran back over the truck, and we pulled away.

"I'm gonna kill him."

"No. You're going to let me find out what the hell happened."

"Talk to your mother. Gemma and Unser found my old man up in the cabin, they knew Clay killed him and tried to pass it off as a Cartel hit."

"How do you know all of that?"

"Unser followed me up there last night."

"How the hell did Savannah get pulled into all of this."

I assumed he thought I was passed out but I started to move, to try to look at him.

"I called him."

Opie pulled me closer, so my back was leaning on him. It hurt like hell, but I could still breathe.

"He wanted me dead, Jax. He thinks I have info on him that could get him killed."

"Where the hell have you been?"

"Alvarez. He came and got me."

"So this doesn't have anything to do with Happy."

"It does. I'm pregnant. He flipped. Jax, I don't want him knowing im back yet."

"Jesus Christ. I'm going to drop you at the emergency room. You both need to lay low. I'll tell them that you're up in the cabin, Ope. I will find the truth. I promise.

"Yeah. Just what I need. Another promise." Opie added in.

Jax looked pissed but it was soon cut shorts as I yelled out in pain. He hit the gas as Opie readjusted me, making me more comfortable.

* * *

A few hours later, I woke up in a hospital bed. I was hooked up to a ton of wires and I felt groggy. I looked over to see Opie sitting in the chair next to my bed. He hopped up and came over to me when he saw my eyes open.

"Hey. Wasn't sure when you would wake up."

"Guessing they did surgery?"

"Yeah. Bullet actually didn't hit much."

"Still hurt like a bitch."

"Want me to go get the doc?"

"No. I'm sure they told you everything. Pulled some fake ID's right? That's why Jax drove us out of town?"

"Yeah. You looked close enough to Lyla that I was able to use her ID I had in the truck still. Blonde hair and you'd probably look like her sister."

I laughed and instantly regret it. What was it with the guys making me laugh when I was wounded.

"Alright so they did tell you everything. What's the news of recover?"

"Said you should be discharged tomorrow or the day after. Nothing crazy for a while. I uh, not sure how tel say all of it though. I sat here the whole time trying to figure it out."

"Just tell me, Ope."

"Trauma caused you to lose the baby."

"I figured as much. That sharp pain was intense. Didn't seem like it was from the bullet."

"I'm sorry."

"I don't really know how I feel about it. I mean, I wasn't even sure that I was going to keep it."

"I got you hurt."

"No. This all still goes back on Clay. He has Jax wrapped so tightly around his finger.. It's over now."

"He survived. He's not doing great but they think he's going to make it."

"Fuck."

"We're just gonna lay low for now. We'll drive back to my house and you'll recover there. Alvarez's mother is going to come keep an eye on you. She's a midwife but she said she can make sure your bandages are changed."

"You called him?"

"Hernando called you when they heard about Clay. Figured it was us."

"No one else knows im back?"

"No. And they won't until you're read."

I nodded and pulled the blanket down and pulled the gown so I could see the bandages.

"They did a good job. Wanted to know about your other scar. Told them you were really unlucky."

"Not a lie."

Opie laughed and took my hand. His eyes still seemed so sad.

"I'm sorry you didn't get your vengeance."

"I will. Someday I will."

"I hope I see that happen."

"Don't plan on you being very far from me, so hopefully you will be."

* * *

I think walking was the worst part of recovering from the surgery. It was a clean shot so the surgery had been fairly easy. I wasn't very far along, so the miscarriage wasn't going to be very complicated. The hospital was more than happy to send me home knowing that I would have a provider looking after me at home.

It was weird for me to be called Lyla or Mrs Winston all the time. One of the nurses told me my husband was cute at one point and I couldn't control the laughter. Opie laughed too which only added to the womans confusion.

Opie lifted me up out of the truck and carried me inside. I could have walked, but I knew arguing with him would be pointless. He was going to be stuck at the house and I knew he would make sure I was okay. No matter how many times I tried to tell him it wasn't his fault, I knew he felt responsible. He set me down in the bed, and pulled the blanket over my lap.

"Ope, I can't take your bed."

"I don't sleep in it anyway."

"Do you even sleep?"

"Not much."

I watched him set up my stuff. I didn't have room for my bags, but Hernando had dropped them off at Opies house. There was a bag of cookies in there and it made me smile. I figured it was from Hernando, since he always seemed to be chewing on them.

"Selene will be here tomorrow to check on you."

"Okay. Thank you for calling her."

"Can't believe I called a Mayan for help."

I chuckled and watched him pace around, cleaning.

"Ope, calm down. There isn't anything we can do right now."

"I know. Just not good at sitting still."

"Well, you're giving me a heart attack so please calm down."

He sighed and walked over to the bed. He sat down, sighing a second time.

"I can't help but to feel like this is my fault."

"I knew the danger of going with you, Ope. I wasn't in any more danger with you than I was anywhere else. My safe place was with the Mayans."

He chuckled and nodded his head.

"Yeah. I guess you're right."

He looked me in the eyes and gave me a sad smile. I could see he was trying but I was sure my smile wasn't reaching my eyes either. He broke contact when we heard a bike roll into his driveway.

"Who is that?"

"Gotta be Jax. No one else knows we're here."

He got up and I heard the door open. I couldn't see them but I could hear what they were saying.

"How's your head?"

"It's fine. Your sister is too, considering a bullet just went through her."

"Yeah. Thanks for letting me in."

"Find anything out?"

"Yeah. A few things. You were right. Clay killed your old man."

"Shit. You should have let me finish him."

"We can't kill him Ope. Galen won't deal with me. We need to keep Clay alive to keep this cartel thing alive."

"We don't need Galindo!"

"If I kill this Mexican alliance the whole club suffers."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm staying. I'm taking the gavel. I need you at my left. Be my VP."

"And how does that work with Clay still around?"

"Clay stepped down. It's our club now."

"I don't get it. Why are you staying? What the hell happened today?"

"I need you to trust me."

"Give me a reason."

"I'll tell you everything. And the club. I just got to do it at the right time."

"In my book, that's lying."

"We got church in an hour. I want you there."

Opie didn't respond at all but I heard footsteps coming towards the room. Jax appeared in the doorway. He looked me over and frowned.

"Mind if I come in?"

"Yeah you're good."

He walked in and sat on the edge of the bed. He pulled my hands into his, and kissed them both.

"Savannah, I am so sorry."

"For shooting me or saving Clay?"

"You hear what I said out there?"

"Yeah. I did."

"Clay will die. Just not yet."

"You tell anyone I'm alive?"

"No. You asked me not to."

"I lost the baby."

"Jesus Christ. I-"

"Stop. Jax, I didn't even know if I was going to keep it. Happy didn't want it. I couldn't raise a kid on my own. It would have been just one more thing to keep me trapped in Charming."

"It should have been your choice, not my bullet."

"Well, you made the decision easy for me."

"I want you to come see everyone. It's time they know you're alive. We can't bring everything up yet, but I need you to trust me."

"Okay."

"Can you drive?"

"Yeah."

"She can take my truck." Ope added in from the doorway.

Jax nodded and looked at my face.

"Savannah, I never thought I would see you again."

"I didn't either."

He frowned and stood up.

"I hope to see you soon, Opie."

Opie just looked at me as Jax walked out of the house.

"You aren't going."

"No. But you need to get going if you want to make it there on time."

"I'll wait a while. They all have Church, so i'll show up after.

* * *

I got in the truck and head towards the clubhouse. My stomach was in a knot. I knew I was going to have to face everyone I had been avoiding. Jax would be the only person there that knew I was alive. It also meant I would be facing Happy.

I pulled into the driveway as I watched Tara walk into the clubhouse. I took a deep breath, knowing that this was the time to come back. I thought it might be a little dramatic, but looking at everything that had happened in Charming lately I wouldn't stand out too much.

I got out of the truck and walked in. Tara was opening the door. I saw Gemma standing by the bar. She turned and looked at me, going pale as ever. I looked at her, not knowing how I felt. She was my mother, but she had done so much harm. I walked forward, hearing Tara tell Jax she wasn't leaving. I stepped into the doorway and made eye contact with Jax. I looked around the table and my heart broke. Jax, Chibs, Tig, Happy and Juice were all that was left. I looked where Kozic and Piney would be sitting and I felt weak.

"Savannah." Juice whispered. He was the only one facing the doorway.

"You do what you have to do, Jax. I'll be out here waiting." I said quietly.

All the guys looked at me, including Happy. Chibs had a soft smile and his eyes were sparkling. Tig had tears in his eyes as he put his hand over his mouth. Happy stared at me like he thought I wasn't real. I wanted to run to each one of them. I knew I had to wait. The club came first. My homecoming wouldn't change that.

I stepped backwards, watching Tara stand up and sling her arm around Jax, standing directly behind him. I felt a cold chill as Gemma looked on at the two at the head of the table. Everything had changed.

 


	16. Where Does That Leave Us Then?

I sat down at the table closest to me. My side was hurting. Tara walked out of the chapel and immediately hugged me. We both had to be careful since her arm was in a sling and my side heart.

"I heard what happened. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, Tara. I'm okay. You?"

"I will be. I need to get home. I want to see you tomorrow."

I nodded and she pulled my forehead to hers. She kissed my cheek quickly and left. I looked up and saw Gemma staring at me with tears in her eyes.

"Savannah.. I.. We.."

"I know mom."

She walked over and pulled me into a hug. I winced and she looked at my face.

"What's wrong?"

I pulled my shirt up slightly to show the bandage.

"Jesus Christ. Clay?"

"Jax. I was here when Opie shot Clay."

"Jesus Christ. Baby-"

"I know. You're sorry. I get it."

"Why don't you come home with me?"

"I have Ope's truck. Gotta bring it back to him. We will talk soon though okay? I just came so everyone would know I was alive. I have a doctor coming to see me tomorrow."

"Okay. I love you."

"Love you too."

I watched Gemma leave slowly. I could tell she felt lost. For decades she was the Queen of SAMCRO. Now it seemed like Tara had taken that slot. I heard the doors open and the guys came out. Chibs instantly pulled me into a hug. It hurt so badly, but I didn't have the heart to let him go. He was clutching my back and the back of my head, holding me close.

"Christ, Savannah, we all thought you were dead."

"I know Chibby. I'm okay. Just sore."

"Sore?"

"I'll explain some day. Just know that I'm okay."

He nodded and kissed my forehead. He held me again for a few minutes before Tig tapped him on the shoulders. He pulled me from Chibs and held me softly.

"Is this real doll? Are you really here?"

"Yeah, Tiggy. I'm here. I'm not a ghost."

"I don't know what to say."

"Just say you missed me."

"Oh I did. I missed you so much."

He kissed my cheek before Juice pulled me into a quick hug. I had never been close to him, but I could see something was different about him. I touched his face lightly and he half smiled at me. Maybe everyone was just broken.

Jax pulled me into a hug, careful not to touch my side. I hugged him back, glad to see him.

"You took the gavel."

"Yeah."

"Be safe, Jax. You and Tara are the only family I have left."

"You have mom."

"I don't trust her, Jax. You shouldn't either."

He nodded at me and told all the guys to head home. I could feel Happy staring at me from the doorway. I turned and looked at him. He looked angry.

"We need to talk." He growled.

"Yeah. We do."

I followed him down to my old room. He opened the door and I saw all the stuff I had left still in the same spots. I had figured they would have at least moved it all to my house. I limped over, feeling the full effects of not taking pain meds, and stood by the bed. He shut the door and walked right to me, lifting my shirt up.

"What happened."

"It's a long story."

"Cartel?"

"No."

"Savannah spill. What the fuck happened? You can't just let me think you're fucking dead for a week then come back and not say a word."

"Does it matter?"

"OF COURSE IT MATTERS!"

I looked at him and felt the tears sting my eyes. I knew he was mad and he had every right to be. The sad truth was I didn't trust him.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for yelling. Can I pull your bandage back?"

"Yeah."

He pulled it back carefully and looked at it.

"That's a bullet wound. Surgery too?"

"Yeah. Had to remove the slug. I have someone coming to change the bandage tomorrow and make sure I'm okay."

"Tara can do that."

"Tara has enough on her plate."

Happy helped me sit down and sat next to me.

"When you left, I thought I was doing what was best for you. You're so much better than this town and the shit we bring to it."

"You called me a whore."

"I wanted you gone. I wanted you to leave and decide what you wanted to do on your own. I didn't want Gemma to push you. I didn't want anyone to put you in danger."

"I was already in danger."

"I thought you died. I thought the Lobos got you and I would never see you again."

I looked at him and saw that there were tears in his eyes. My heart was breaking seeing him break down like that. I thought back and I didn't think I had ever seen him cry before.

"Please. Tell me what is going on."

"If I tell you anything, you can't say a word. Not to Jax, Clay or anyone in the club."

He nodded once and slid me back so I could lean against the headboard. He sat in front of me and looked me in the eyes. He ran his hand across my face, almost like he wasn't sure if I was real.

"I'll tell you everything. It's going to be a long night though."

"Don't think I could sleep anyway."

* * *

"So, Clay wants you dead, Tara dead, killed Piney and possibly JT?"

"Yeah."

"You just spent the last week with the Mayans and Opie."

"Yeah."

"Jax shot you trying to stop Opie from killing Clay."

"I pulled the gun down before he could shoot him. I don't think he expected me to do it."

"You could have died doing all of that. It's one thing for Opie to do it. Totally different when you do."

"I knew what I was getting myself into."

"I can't believe you were with the Mayans that whole time. Weren't you afraid they were working with Clay?"

"They treated me with more kindness in the few days that I was there than anyone has here. I don't expect everything to be rainbow and butterflies, but they kept me safe."

He nodded, though he didn't seem very please I was with the Mexicans the whole time.

"What you haven't told me is about the kid. If you were in the hospital you must at least know something."

I pulled out the ultrasound pictures from my pocket and handed them to him. He looked at them but I could tell he wasn't sure what he was looking at.

"I was a little over six weeks when those were taken. Marcus'… Alvarez's mother is a midwife. She checked me out and went over options with me."

"So this is it? This little dot?"

"Yeah. That was it."

"What did you decide?"

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. It matters a lot."

"No, it doesn't because I lost it when I got shot."

"Shit. I'm sorry."

"No you aren't. You didn't want a kid. You didn't want me."

"That what you think?"

"You accused me of screwing Alvarez and trying to push a kid on you that isn't yours!"

"I told you. I was saying that to push you out of here. There's no way Gemma would let you leave if you had a kid."

"I don't need to leave. I need to be here with the only family I've ever had."

"I know you can see how dangerous it is here. I didn't even know how bad it was until you just told me."

"Happy, I'm not leaving."

"Where does that leave us then?"

"Honestly? I don't know. I just spent the last week realizing I don't need anyone. I survived moving to Charming and being stabbed. But those things were with you by my side, literally holding me up."

"I don't want you anywhere but by my side."

"Problem is, I just survived an attempt on my life, being shot and a miscarriage by myself. I had people to help me, but I wasn't depending on them. I just trusted who I needed to survive and that's it."

We both sat in silence for a few seconds until I whispered "I thought I needed you."

"But you don't."

"No. I don't."

"Well, that's a good thing I guess. Guess the question is, do you want me?"

"Do I need to answer that tonight?"

"More like this morning, and no. I respect that you want to think about it."

"It's more than I need to think about it. You really rocked my trust in you, Hap. I hate to say it, but that's the truth. I'm so tired of lies and manipulation. I won't do that to you."

"You want space?"

"I don't mind us talking, but if I say I want something that's the way it needs to be. I know that's hard for mister tough biker Happy." I said as I poked his chest playfully.

"Nah, it's cool. Just don't try to be an ass about it."

"What? Me be a smart ass just to piss you off? Now I'd never do something like that."

Happy finally smiled and pulled me into a gently hug. I breathed in his scent and sighed. I had missed him, but I refused to pull him into my shit if I didn't actually want him there. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone unless that's what I wanted one hundred percent. Right now I had no idea what I wanted or needed.


	17. What Is This?

I got back to Opie's house, and saw that he was still awake. He had a bottle of liquor in his hand sitting on the couch. He looked exhausted.

"Everything good?"

"Yeah. Table was pretty empty."

"Yeah."

"I'm gonna walk home. Should only take me a half hour or so."

"Nah. Stay here. It's late. Plus, Selene will be here in a few hours."

"You don't mind?"

"Don't think it's a good idea for me to be alone right now."

I nodded and sat down on the couch next to him. I took the bottle and knocked it back, trying not to cringe at how much it burned. I could see Ope looking at me with an amused look.

"Rough night?"

"Rough life."

"I can drink to that."

He took the bottle back, gulping a good part of it down. The liquor was making me feel fuzzy already, which is what I wanted it to do. I didn't feel like it hurt enough for pain meds, but taking the edge off was nice too.

"He take the gavel?"

"Yeah. Chibs is to his right. His left his empty."

"I don't want it. That club took everything from me."

"No. Clay took everything from you."

"Guess you're right."

"Plus, you wouldn't have me in pain and really feeling the alcohol sitting on your couch."

"You drunk already?"

"Bitch, I might be."

We both laughed, even though it hurt my side. He offered me another swig, which I was hesitant to take, but decided a good nights sleep would be awesome too. He took the bottle back and we sat in a comfortable silence, until my eyelids became too heavy to keep open.

* * *

I woke up in the morning, wrapped up in a blanket with someone. I carefully lifted my head and peeked through my eyes to see Opie asleep peacefully. We must have fallen asleep on the couch, but I don't remember much of it. How I got curled up with him, was beyond me. He jumped when a knock came on the door and Selene walked in. I pulled myself up to a sitting position and smiled at the woman. I had missed her.

"Sorry, late night."

"I see that. How you feeling?"

"Like I got shot then got drunk."

"Sounds about right." Opie grumbled as he sat up.

I smiled at him. He looked innocent just waking up. His long hair was a mess and I could see where he had been drooling.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. You guys can use the bedroom for what you need to do."

I nodded at him and smiled as he walked by. I saw Selene looking at me and smiling. When Opie was out of the room and we heard the water start she pulled me to standing up.

"That isn't the man you were with."

"No. That's Opie. Clay killed his father and his wife."

"Oh dear."

"Yeah. He's been a big help."

"So you were cuddling?"

"Honestly, I was so drunk last night I don't remember what happened, but we're both still clothed so I think we're good."

"You talk to the one you were with?"

"Yeah a little. He knows I lost the kid. I don't know where we stand though. Not sure if I want to go back to him."

"Don't blame you. Let's go change your bandage."

I followed Selene in, thankful for a mother figure I could look up to that didn't question me. She was strong regardless of everything going on with her. She was also able to do what she needed to do to help anyone who needed it. As she changed my bandages, I thanked my lucky stars for Alvarez reaching out. I had a feeling no matter what happened, I would have him as an ally in the future.

* * *

Selene left with a promise to come back in a few days. She gave me her number in case I needed anything. I knew if I needed anything urgent I could ask Tara, but it was nice to have back up. I walked out and saw Opie in a pair of jeans and his hair slicked back, still wet from the shower. I had never seen all of his tattoos before, and I quickly looked away when I felt my face get warm. He had an incredible body.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Selene will be back in a few days. Said I'm healing pretty well."

"She give you shit for how she found us?"

"A little. Just more curious than anything else."

"Nothing happened."

"Didn't think it did. We both had clothes on."

"You started crying in your sleep. I pulled you to me and you stopped. Didn't have the heart to push you away."

I felt my face get hot and I started cleaning up the table by the couch.

"I'm sorry. Could have just told me to go to bed."

"I slept better than I have in a while."

I wasn't sure what to say so I finished throwing stuff away. I washed the dishes and I felt his hands on my shoulders. He turned me to him and lifted my chin so I was looking up at him.

"I'm not pressuring you, Savannah. I don't expect anything but I like you being here. My house is always open for you. I'd like you to stay, but know that I don't expect anything from you if you do. I don't have good luck with women, and I don't presume to have some weird hold over you. I just like your company."

"I'm just a mess, Ope. I'd love to say I'm less of a mess than when I showed up here, but I know that isn't true."

"I'm not?"

"Nah, you're a hot mess."

I smiled at him and he chuckled. He pulled me into a hug and held me for a minute. When he let go he went over and pulled out eggs and bacon.

"Go sit down. I'll make breakfast."

I shook my head and walked over to the table, kicking my feet up. We sat there and bullshit while he cooked and I read through the paper. It felt comfortable. I felt comfortable before, but knowing that he didn't expect anything of me was nice too. What I really missed about being with Happy was the companionship. Not to say I didn't miss him as a person, but it was a little easier to handle when I had someone to be around.

"You going to the clubhouse?"

"Think I'm gonna stay away from there for a while."

"Might kill Clay?"

"He won't be out of the hospital for a while. Apparently, I hit his lung."

"Good."

Opie smiled at me and set a plate of food in front of me. He sat down across me with his own. I took a few bites and got up to get a drink, but he beat me to the fridge, pointing at the chair I just was in. I rolled my eyes and sat back down.

"Not use to anyone help you, are you?"

"Not really. I mean, I had family but I always did shit on my own."

"If I be honest with you, you gonna freak out?"

"I just spent the past few days hiding with a Mexican gang, hiding from my father who is the president of an MC while pregnant with the killers child just to leave with someone to try to kill my father thus leading me to getting shot by my brother. I think I can handle just about anything."

Ope chuckled and looked down at his plate. I could tell he was thinking. His eyes looked sad again.

"I think Hap was really stupid for acting the way he did."

I sighed.

"He swears it was to get me out of here. He thinks I should run."

"You probably should. If I had a girl like you though, I would have run with you."

"No, you wouldn't. You can't walk away from the club."

"With everything I've lost, I could leave right now and never look back. I just don't understand how he could give that up. I mean, I fucked things up with Lyla. I know that. I just see how innocent you are and I know that you deserve the best."

"I'm far from innocent. Did you love Lyla?"

"I think so."

"Not like Donna though."

"I don't think I'll ever feel for anyone what I felt for Donna."

"Why did you marry her then?"

"I was good with her, because she didn't question me. She was obedient and stayed where she was supposed to. I hated the porn shit, but I knew she wouldn't flip out about the club. Donna hated the club, especially after I went in for it. Lyla and Donna couldn't be more different."

"You try telling her that?"

"Not much left to tell. She doesn't think I can love anyone until the memory of Donna is dead."

"That memory will never die. She can't replace Donna. No one can. When you get with someone who is broken like you are, you have to love the ghosts too. It's who you are."

"Don't think she saw how broken I am."

"Then she wasn't really looking."

"Why aren't you afraid?"

"Not afraid of much, Ope. I wanted a family for so long. Even though it's fucked up, I'm not walking away."

"You gonna stay here?"

"You aren't leaving anytime soon are you?"

"Nah. I'll be sticking around."

"Sounds like I will be too then."

* * *

The next week passed without incident. We spent time outside while he worked on stuff for the house. I wanted to help, but my side was still hurting. We talked just as much as we sat in comfortable silence. Every night, we would end up on the couch drinking until we fell asleep. The first two nights we woke up tangled up on the couch together, but after I mentioned my side hurt both of us ended up waking up in bed. Even in the bed I usually ended up with my head on his chest and his arm was around me. I didn't think we both walked to the bed, but he wouldn't admit that he took me there. Nothing else happened, but it was nice not waking up alone.

Tara had stopped by, but I could tell she wasn't okay. She had canceled her plans of leaving and could only talk about how devoted she was to Jax. I worried about her, but I could tell nothing I wanted to say would help with how she was feeling. She felt trapped.

Happy had been texting me often. I answered him if I wasn't busy, but I usually found myself occupied in conversation or relaxing. I had avoided seeing him but I knew if I went home he would find me soon after. I was glad most of my clothes were already with me, since I really didn't think I would fit in any of Opie's clothes. Lyla had left some clothes behind, but she was about half my size.

We both jumped up when we heard knocking on the door. I realized I was wearing a halter top and a pair of short shorts, but Opie was only in boxers. I rolled my eyes realizing how bad this would look to whoever was on the door. Opie walked straight into the bathroom, leaving me to walk to the front door. I opened the door to see Happy and Jax standing there.

"Figured you were staying here." Jax laughed. "Where's Ope?"

"Bathroom. Just woke up."

I could see Happy looking at me and his eyes were dark. He didn't look angry, but considering I already knew how it must look, I knew he would be talking to me about all of it soon. I turned and walked away, letting them both walk into the door and shut it behind them. Opie walked into the living room wearing nothing but jeans, causing Happy to glare at me.

"What's up?" Opie asked.

"Coming to check on you. Noticed Savannah hadn't been home yet either so wanted to make sure she was good."

"I'm fine, Jax. Selene has been checking on me."

"Who the hell is Selene?" Happy growled.

"Alvarez's mother. She's been driving out to make sure I'm healing good."

"And you're good?" Jax asked.

"No more bandage. I'm still sore sometimes but I'll live. Don't worry, big brother, you didn't kill me this time."

"Fuck off." Jax laughed. "Can I talk to you for a bit, Ope?"

The two men walked out, leaving me alone with Happy. I got up and walked into the bedroom, wanting to put more clothes on. I heard footsteps behind me that stopped at the door.

"You both sleeping in here?"

"Sometimes, yeah."

"You're not wearing much."

"It's comfortable because it doesn't rub on my side."

"That all?"

I turned to look at him after I set my bag on the bed. Opie had wanted me to move my clothes into the dresser, but I was fine with living out of a bag.

"We aren't fucking if that's what you're asking."

"What is this then?"

"This is us finding comfort in each other because we both just lost a lot. Opie doesn't want to be alone and neither do I."

"You don't have to be alone."

"No one has to be alone."

"You know what I mean." He growled.

He walked over to me, but stopped short, looking down in my bag. He reached down and pulled out his hoodie.

"You still have this?"

"Yeah."

"You took it to Oakland with you?"

"Yeah. I don't remember taking it with me, but it was in my bag while I was up there."

Seeing it calmed him down. He sighed, setting it back down in my bag.

"There really isn't anything going on?"

"No. We hang out, talk, drink ourselves to sleep, then wake up."

"How did you end up in here?"

"I fall asleep on the couch. He swears he doesn't carry me in here but unless I'm sleep walking he must be."

Happy chuckled and pulled me close to him. I felt weird letting him hold me in Opie's bedroom, even though I knew there was nothing more than what Opie and I had between us. He ran his hands across the bare skin on my sides and back, causing my mind to wander to ideas of him pushing me down on the bed. He leaned in and placed a few light kisses on my neck.

"I miss you."

"I miss you too, Hap."

"Come back home. I'll stay with you at your place."

I pulled away from him gently. I looked into his eyes and saw nothing but lust. It hurt. I didn't want to have sex, I wanted comfort.

"I think for now, me staying here is the best idea."

Happy sighed and nodded.

"Alright. Clay will be out of the hospital soon."

"That's too bad."

"Gemma wants you there for the homecoming."

"No."

"Tara will be there."

"She's the new queen. I'm not even an old lady."

Happy grumped at my comment. He brushed my hair back away from my face and kissed my lips gently.

"If you decide you want to be there, let me know. I'll get the van and come get you."

"I won't, but okay. I'm cleared to ride a bike now anyway."

"Alright."

Jax walked up to the door with Opie right next to him. Jax looked confused and Opie just smirked.

"Time to roll, Hap. Savannah can I stop by later and see you?"

"Not my house to answer that."

"Yeah you're good, Jax. Just knock and one of us will let you in." Ope responded before walking away.

Jax nodded and pulled me into a hug before leaving. Happy side glanced at Opie before he pulled me into a bone crushing hug and smashed his lips against mine. I pushed him away and shook my head, walking towards the bathroom. I didn't want anything to do with his macho man competition between Opie. I heard Opie laugh from the living room as the two bikes rolled away.

* * *

Opie and I were sitting on the couch watching TV when Jax knocked on the door later that day. Opie yelled for him to come in so neither of us had to get up. We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, but I had my legs across his lap. He had one hand on my leg and the other on the arm rest. Jax walked in and looked between the two of us.

"Where can I sit?"

"Floor." We replied at the same time.

"What the hell are you watching?" he asked as he sat on the floor in front of me.

"Crime show."

"Jesus, you guys live in crime all the time. Why are you watching this?"

"I don't know."

"Mind if we talk for a bit?"

"Yeah we can go out back."

"Nah." Opie pat my leg, signaling for me to move them. "I'll head outside. Gotta finish cutting that wood for the deck."

"Alright. I'll order dinner in a little bit."

Opie tossed the blanket next to him on top of me and walked out of the room. Jax took his seat, so I put my legs over him too. He laughed at me and shut the TV off.

"What the hell! I wanna know who did it!"

"I didn't come to watch TV with you."

"Then go home?"

"C'mon sis. I came to talk to you."

"Okay. Then talk."

"What's going on with you and Ope?"

"Nothing."

"Alright, what's going on with you and Hap?"

"Nothing."

"What's your play here?"

"I don't have a damn play, Jax. I'm recovering and keeping Opie company. I know that everyone around you is always in some weird power struggle, but not me."

"Are you going to be there when Clay gets back?"

"No."

"Savannah."

"I'm not going back. That asshole tried to get me killed."

"He tried to kill Tara too and she's going to be there."

"I'm not the queen of SAMCRO. I'm just your sister who is recovering from a gunshot wound that you gave me."

"I still think there's something going on between you and Ope."

"What the hell does it matter anyway, Jax?"

"You can't bounce between two members. We don't do that shit around here. If you're with someone, you're with them."

"That why you have cheated on Tara? Wendy?"

"Not the same."

"So you can fuck other people but I can't break it off with one guy and then spend time with another? That sounds fantastic."

"Listen, Savannah, I know you don't understand it. I know it all seems so fucked up. I just can't let there be a club problem because you can't make up your mind."

"I broke it off with Happy. He knows why. He knows there is nothing between us right now. Opie offered to let me stay here, WITH NO STRINGS. He doesn't expect anything of me. For ONCE I get to relax and not have someone think I need to do different or better."

Jax looked at me. I could tell he was thinking.

"There really isn't anything going on between you and Ope?"

"What did he tell you? I'm sure you asked him and left me alone with Happy on purpose. You're just as manipulative as Gemma."

"He told me you guys just like spending time together. Said he doesn't want to push anything on you and play house with someone. He knows you don't expect anything of him."

"Did you press him as much as you're pressing me?"

"Yeah. I asked him if he was sure there was nothing."

"And what did he say?"

"You can ask him that. I'm not getting into this any more than I have to."

"What the hell does that mean?"

"Don't worry about it, Savannah."

"Jesus Christ, you are just like Gemma. You burst in here accusing me of fucking around then you back off when I want information. I am not with Happy. I am not with Opie. I am not your old lady OR your responsibility. I share a mother with you, and that's it."

"You're right, you're my sister. You being pissed off doesn't change that. Clay is still your father."

"I don't want anything to do with him. I'm not sure how I can make that more clear."

Jax sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"We need him right now."

"Okay. That doesn't mean I need him."

"We need you at the clubhouse."

"What the hell could you possibly need me at the clubhouse for?"

"Clay talked to Galen. Said he would only help with the deals if everything went back to normal."

"Normal."

"Yeah. I can keep the gavel, but you and mom need to play nice."

"Jesus Christ."

"Savannah, we need this. We really do. I can't explain why but I need you to trust me."

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I laughed when I realized that I was acting just like Jax. I pulled myself so I was sitting up and looked at Jax. He looked tired.

"What do you need me to do?"

"Keep doing what you want to. I just need you to come by the clubhouse sometimes. Parties, big shit. Play nice with everyone, Clay included."

"I'll need a car then."

"You have one."

"Jesus Christ Jax I only have the one Clay got me."

"I know. You need to use it. I can have someone drop it by."

"I'll figure it out, Jackson."

"I hate when you call me that."

"I know. That's the point. What good is a little sister if she can't piss you off?"

Jax smiled and pulled me into a hug. My shirt had been pulled up and he saw the pink wound. It was still healing. He ran his hand across it. I looked at his face and there was nothing but pure guilt.

"I know you didn't mean to, Jax."

"I still pulled the trigger, sis. You could have died."

"Well, does it make you feel better that you aren't the first family member to try to kill me?"

"No. It doesn't. Smartass."

He stood up and slipped his sneakers back on. I walked him towards the door, feeling better about our relationship. I wasn't mad about being shot, but following Clay when the evidence was right in his face pissed me off.

"There's a party tonight. Trying to get back on track. Clay will be there."

"Alright."

"You're going to be there, right?"

"Yes, Jax. I'll be there."

"Wear something nice. Don't need everyone asking who shot you."

"Yeah it would be a shame to know the King shot his sister trying to save the evil tyrant."

"Shut the fuck up Savannah."

* * *

I had followed Jax outside and watched him leave. The breeze felt nice and it made me realize I hadn't been outside much since getting back. I looked over and noticed the neighbors staring at me so I went back inside. I saw Opie sitting on the couch again, a new episode of the crime show on. I plopped next to him and took the sandwich out of his hand and took a bite.

"What the hell! Make your own food!"

"Yours was quicker." I said with a mouth full of food.

Opie took the sandwich back and laughed at me. I smiled at him and remembered what Jax had avoided.

"Hey Ope?"

"Yeah."

"Jax asked me some pretty probing questions."

"Yeah."

"He told me he asked you the same ones but wouldn't tell me what you said."

"What are you asking me, Savannah."

"He asked me if I was sure there was nothing going on between us."

"What'd you say?"

"You first."

Opie side glanced at me trying to fake an annoyed look. He sighed and muted the TV.

"I told him I didn't know."

"Explain."

"I like having you here."

"We've gone over that."

"I like spending time with you and relaxing. None of this feels forced."

"Until this conversation, you mean?"

"Yeah I guess."

"Why are you so against talking about this?"

"I need a cigarette."

Opie stood up and walked towards the back door. I got up and followed him, not caring that the neighbors would think I was some sleeze ball of a woman over at Opies. I had been there for over a week, wearing shorts and a crop top and my hair was a jumbled curly mess. We got outside and he lit a cigarette.

"Opie what-"

Before I could react, he turned quickly while leaning down, pressing his lips to mine. I could taste the smoke from his mouth as I inhaled sharply. While he held his right hand away from me, still holding the cigarette, he placed his left hand on the side of my face. He pulled away slightly and put his forehead against mine. My eyes were wide and I could start breathing again. I wasn't sure if it was the cigarette smoke or his kiss that took my breath away.

I was sure that I looked incredibly dumb, standing in front of him both speechless and breathing heavier than I wanted to be. He stood back up and took a drag off his cigarette while he looked down at me with his nose up in the air. He pushed the smoke and air out of his lungs and chuckled.

"Well, you didn't run away."

"Not sure I know what just happened."

"I'd ask if you'd never been kissed before, but considering I saw Happy kiss you this morning I know you have."

"If you wanted to do that, then why did you laugh when he kissed me?"

"I don't do jealous. I also don't do controlling. I know you'll do whatever you want and nothing more or less."

"I have to go to the party tonight."

"Alright."

"You're not going."

"Nope. Especially not if Clay is going to be there."

"Hap will be there."

"Alright."

"That doesn't bother you?"

"Just told you, I know you're going to do what you want to do. Can't stop that. Also told you I don't expect anything from you."

"You're the strangest man I've ever met, Mister Winston."

"Yeah, I've heard that before."

I shook my head as I walked back inside. I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I looked at my phone and saw a few texts from Happy, all asking if I needed a ride to the party. There was one from Jax telling me he was looking forward to spending time with me.

"Hey Ope!" I yelled outside.

"Yeah?"

"Can you at least give me a ride to the clubhouse tonight?"

"Yeah."

"In the truck?"

"No. You're getting your ass on the bike."

I rolled my eyes, knowing that I was going to wear a dress that night. Ah well, I thought, looked like everyone was going to get a show.

* * *

I stepped out of the bathroom fully dressed and ready to go. I had pulled out a mid-thigh length, skin tight long sleeved black dress and slipped it on once I got out of the shower. It was cut down the front, ending just above where my bra was. I decided to wear my nice push up bra under it, and was a little hesitant about how much it made my boobs push out. I had quickly dried my hair and curled it into loose curls, making my hair just slightly shorter than normal. I had actually put makeup on, making sure it was perfect. I had burgundy matte lipstick on and I barely looked like myself. I thought about the first time Gemma had gotten me dressed up and chuckled at how different I was now. Opie walked into the doorway and stopped in his tracks.

"Wow."

"Good wow or bad wow."

"Good wow. Where the hell have you been hiding that dress?"

"In my bag."

"Wow and I only get shorts and a tank top."

I slapped his chest as I walked by to get my heels. Luckily I had packed one pair of knee high boots since I would be riding the bike. I mean, the boots had a three inch heel on them, but whatever. I slipped them on and walked back into the bedroom to grab my leather jacket. I had wanted a functional one, but Gemma had been adamant that the one I got was form fitting. Of course. I slipped the jacket on and zipped it up to just below my chest. I turned back to see Opie still looking at me wide eyed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Nothing. You just look different."

I peeked in the mirror and burst out laughing. I didn't look like Savannah Morrow at all.

"Jesus I look like Ima."

"No, she's trash. You look sexy as fuck."

"You just equated a woman you fucked to trash."

"Yeah. Well she wasn't exactly my best choice in life."

I scoffed in agreement and grabbed my purse.

"See why I wanted to go in the truck?"

"There is no way i'm going out in public with you looking this smoking hot and not be on my bike with my cut on. I mean I don't like to flaunt much, but Jesus you need to be shown off right."

I laughed and looked at him. I waited for him to say he was kidding, but he wasn't at all. I felt my cheeks flush and I looked away. I felt his hand tilt my chin up to look at him. We looked into each others eyes and I felt my stomach flutter. His mouth was close to mine as he stepped forward, causing our bodies to be flush together. He had one hand wrapped around my waist and the other pushing my hair back out of my face.

"See, this is normally would be where I would kiss you again."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, but you need to get to the party and I would probably fuck up your lipstick."

"Yeah you're right."

We continued to stare into each others eyes until my phone started ringing. Opie cleared his throat as I pulled away and looked at my phone. It was Happy calling, again. I clicked ignore and shot a quick text to him telling him I was on the way.

"Time to go?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, let's go."

I followed him out and climbed onto the bike behind him, causing the dress to hike up. Normally I would have been embarrassed, but I was going to a biker party. If I couldn't look sexy there, I couldn't look sexy anywhere. I wrapped my arms around his waist and we took off towards the clubhouse.

The ride to the clubhouse wasn't nearly long enough. Between wanting to be on the bike with Opie and not wanting to face my father, I could have ridden all night. I was even getting used to the fact that I was sure my ass was showing due to the skirt riding up. We pulled into the lot, and he pulled right up to the door. There were a ton of people around, including Jax. I quickly swung my leg over and pulled my dress down. I went to walk away, but Opie caught my arm, pulling me close to him.

"If you want a ride home later, just call me. I won't drink until I hear from you."

I nodded and smiled at him. He smiled back and nodded over at Jax before he pulled away. I walked towards the clubhouse and saw Gemma sitting at the table. She smiled at me as she looked me up and down.

"Well look at this whore walking up to this clubhouse."

"Oh shut up mom, these are all clothes you bought me."

"And you look sexy as hell."

She pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek. I saw Clay sitting in a chair next to the picnic table now that I was closer.

"Jesus, Savannah. Your old man just got shot and you're about to give him a heart attack."

"Sorry, dad."

"You look like your mother. To a T."

Gemma smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"JEASUS!" I heard Chibs yell.

I turned and looked at him and Tig both standing by the door staring at me. Tig pushed off the crow eater he had hanging on him and looked me up and down. I rolled my eyes. Typical Tig.

"We wanted ya here, not looking so damn fine that we think we need ta pay ya just to look at us."

"Doll, I would pay you five hundred dollars just to breathe on my face."

"Jesus, Tig, I'm not a prostitute. Do you pay for every woman dressed up?"

"No no no, doll. Never said you were. I would offer to pay any beautiful woman to let me do the freaky shit I like."

I rolled my eyes as Jax pulled me inside.

"We need to drink."

"Yes, we do. They're like a bunch of damn dogs."

"Did you expect anything different?"

"Not sure honestly."

Jax asked the prospect for a bottle of whiskey and poured us each three shots. I rolled my eyes, knowing just that would knock me on my ass.

"Here, is to family."

We knocked the first one back. It stung, but I noticed the more I drank with Opie the less it effected me.

"Here is to SAMCRO."

We knocked back the second and he handed me the third.

"What is this one for?"

"Drink it."

We both down it and I grabbed a drink of his beer to chase it with.

"That was to you figuring out your love life."

"You're an asshole, Jackson."

He laughed and I punched his shoulder. For the first time since I had been back after killing Adam, Jax and I laughed together. We continued to drink and dance. It felt nice even though I felt like I was fighting off the crows from raping my brother. After a few hours I pulled out my phone and saw Ope had text me.

**You need a ride?**

_Yeah, come get me. If I keep drinking I won't be able to ride the bike home._

**Need me to bring the truck?**

_Thought you wanted to show me off?_

**I'll be there in 20.**

I stuck my phone back in my purse and hugged Jax.

"I'm gonna head home."

"You need a ride?"

"Nah, Ope is on his way to get me."

"Alright. Thanks for coming out tonight, sis. I had fun."

"Me too, Jackson. Can you have one of the prospects bring my car to Ope's tomorrow?"

"Of course."

He hugged me again and I grabbed my jacket from behind the bar. I slipped it on, and realized that heels and drinking was not my friend. I walked towards the front door and as soon as I walked out, a hand grabbed my arm and pulled me into the shadows. I stumbled, but two strong hands kept me steadied as I was pushed up against the wall. I caught a scent, and realized quickly it was Happy.

"Hap. I didn't see you all night."

"I was watching. You were having fun so I didn't want to interrupt."

"That's kind of creepy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. You sitting in the corner watching me all night. Why aren't you in the bedroom with some blonde?"

"That isn't who I want."

He pressed his waist into mine and went to press his lips to me. I pushed him back before he could.

"Hap, we've both been drinking and I can tell how drunk you are."

"Doesn't change that I want you."

"Happy, I don't think this is a good idea."

I heard the bike rumble getting closer and knew it had to be Opie. Everyone else was already here.

"He coming to get you?"

"Yeah."

"That why you don't want me?"

I felt his hands grip tighter on my arms, bordering painful.

"Hap, please let me go. You're starting to hurt me."

"I think you lied to me. I think there is something going on with you two."

"Hap-"

"Something did happen, didn't it?"

"No I-"

His grip got tighter and he pulled me close to him.

"You can't lie to me, Savannah."

"Happy, you are drunk. Let me go. We can talk about this later."

"Don't bother."

He pushed me back, causing me to stumble and hit the wall right as Opie pulled up. I watched Happy walk inside and I was pissed. I straightened out my dress and walked over to Opie. He squint his eyes and nodded at me, asking me if I was okay. I swung my leg over the bike and wrapped my arms around him before we head back home.


	18. Ask Me In The Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT. IF YOU DON'T LIKE SMUT, DON'T READ. At least the first part. The rest doesn't have smut. Unfortunately, it's the biggest part of the chapter.. or fortunately.. I guess it's how you interpret it lol. However, you can miss the first part and still get the gist of it.
> 
> As always, love to all of you.

The whole ride home, I just kept thinking about how dangerous Happy sounded. I knew he had been drinking, but he had never been that forceful with me. The cold night air was sobering me up quickly. I tightened my grip around Opie and rest my face on his back. We pulled into the driveway and he cut the engine. I got off and wrapped my arms around myself, waiting to follow him inside. He wrapped his arm around my waist and helped me up the stairs. At that point it was purely the heels giving me the problem. I didn't feel even a trace of the alcohol anymore. I stumbled, but before I could fall, he scooped me up and carried me inside, setting me down on the couch.

"What happened?"

"It was nothing."

"It was something. You were pissed when you got to me and you're out of it. You that drunk?"

I grabbed the bottle of whiskey off the table in front of me and downed a good amount. I tried to hide the burn, but I knew it was written all over my face.

"No, but I want to be."

"Clay?"

"No, he left me alone. I actually had a really good night. I was just about to leave and Hap grabbed me."

"He hurt you?"

"No. I mean, yeah but I don't think he meant to. Just grabbed my arms a little tight."

"What did he want?"

"Me. Until he heard you pulling in. Then he accused me of doing shit with you and pushed me back into the wall."

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just never seen him act like that before."

"He earned his nickname, hun."

"Yeah. I know. Just didn't expect him to act like that with me."

"No one in the club is really used to a beautiful woman turning them down. They're usually throwing themselves at us."

"Shame on me for having standards."

Opie laughed and shook his head.

"Daughter of a biker and you have morals. Not sure you fit in around here."

I laughed and slipped my boots off. I wiggled my feet around, letting the sore muscles stretched out. Opie grabbed my foot and started rubbing it. It tickled at first, but once he started putting enough pressure it felt amazing. I thought back and tried to remember a time when someone actually rubbed my feet.

"You look tired."

"I am but I'm not drunk."

"Didn't say you were."

"Can't really sleep without drinking now."

Ope handed me the bottle and continued to rub my feet and ankles while I quickly downed as much alcohol as possible without getting sick. We passed the bottle back and forth. He was able to drink more than me, but considering he was at least twice my size and I had already been drinking I wasn't surprised. I let my head fall back so I was laying down as he started massaging up my legs to my calves.

"Mmm, if you're going to keep doing that I might just fall asleep."

I felt his hands slide up my legs more and it made me look up at him. He slowly slid his hands on my thighs, pushing my dress up as he moved forward, positioning himself between my legs. I felt my heart start pounding and my breathing hitch. He moved his left hand to my hip and his right next to my head, holding himself up above me. I looked up at him feeling somewhere in between wanting to break eye contact to move away and using my hands to pull him closer to me. I had just turned Happy away, but here I was breathless and heart racing under Opie.

"All you have to do is tell me to stop."

"I know."

"Is that what you want?"

I looked him in the eyes and tried to figure out how I was feeling. I had caught myself fantasizing about this a few times, but I have never been brave enough to say that. He was making my heart race, but his body just seemed to fit where it was. I didn't feel awkward or embarrassed.

"No."

He lowered himself down and pressed his lips into mine. I wrapped my arms around his torso, and reached up to pull his hair out of the bun. I had wanted to run my hands through his hair for a while. I tangled my hands in his hair as he deepened the kiss. His left hand ran under my dress to my side as he ran his tongue across my lips. Keeping his lips pressed to mine, he pulled me up to him and sat up, letting my legs wrap around his waist. He put one hand on my ass to support me, and the other on the back of my head to hold my face to his.

He pressed me up against the doorway of the bedroom and slipped his cut and shirt off. I ran my hands lightly over his tattoos on his chest, causing him to shiver in response. He pulled my dress up, that was already pushed up to my waist, and lifted it over my head. He dropped it to the ground and carried me over to the bed. He gently laid me down and brushed my hair out of my face. I realized that I was wearing a matching bra and panty set, and mentally thanked earlier me for doing so.

I watched him stand back up and undo his belt and jeans, letting them fall to the floor. He climbed back onto the bed and on top of me. He ran his hands under my back and undid my bra. I was surprised at how quickly and efficiently he was capable of unclamping it.

"Sorry, guess I'm showing my experience."

I laughed and shook my head. I slipped my arms out of my bra and tossed it on the floor.

"I guess it's good if one of us has a good amount of experience."

Opie laughed and kissed me again, this time harder. I could feel how hard he was through his boxers and the thin underwear I was wearing as he ground himself into me. Feeling lost in the moment, I let out a soft moan against his lips. He broke the kiss and looked at me.

"Fuck, you are so damn sexy."

He slammed his lips back into mine as he pulled my underwear off. I bucked my hips up to make it easier and I felt him smile against my lips. I hooked my fingers into his boxers and pulled them down as far as possible. He moved himself to pull them off the rest of the way, never breaking contact with my lips. He pulled away from me abruptly.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, hold on."

He reached over into the dresser and grabbed a condom out, ripping it from the line it was attached to. I felt dumb not even thinking about protection. Being careless is what got me into the issue with Happy in the first place, and here I was almost doing the same damn thing.

Ope slipped on the condom and climbed back on top of me. He wrapped his arm behind me, pulling my hips closer to him. His other hand held the side of my face as he slowly pushed himself inside of me. I was surprised at how big he was, causing me to inhale sharply. When he was fully in me, he paused and kissed me deeply.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"You sure I'm not just taking advantage of a drunk defenseless woman?"

"Ask me in the morning."

Opie laughed before kissing me again. He started moving inside of me and the combination of him holding me the way he was with kissing me was easily the most sensual experience I had ever felt. I was afraid that I was sounding ridiculous, but I couldn't contain the moans and gasps coming from my mouth.

Opie lifted me up and held me while he was on his knees. We continued to rock together with my legs wrapped around his waist. His arms were wrapped around my back, holding me close. I felt my climax starting to hit, causing my head to tip back as he continued to move inside of me. He bit and kissed my neck, adding to the pleasure I was feeling. I felt myself come undone as he bit down on the base of my neck. A few more thrusts later, and he followed me.

We both were breathing heavy as he sat back, keeping me held close. I let my head fall forward, resting my face on his chest. I could hear his heart racing in his chest.

"Wow." I whispered.

"That bad huh?"

I could hear the bass of his voice rattling through his chest because of where my head was. I started laughing and looked up at him.

"Oh yeah, worst I've ever had."

"Damn. Killing my ego and I'm not even out of you yet."

I laughed again before putting my head back on his chest. He continued to hold me close until our breathing calmed down. I lifted my head to look at him and he brushed my hair away from my face. I could see where I had placed kisses on his lips, face and neck because of my lipstick still there. I laughed and wiped some of it off of him.

"You're a mess, Ope."

"You don't have much room to talk, sweetheart."

I kissed his lips again before climbing off him. I walked into the bathroom connected to his room and laughed at myself. My hair was a tangled mess and my makeup was all over my face. I had bite marks and hickeys all over my neck and chest. My cheeks were flushed and my eyes looked tired. He was right, no room to talk.

I quickly cleaned myself up and walked back into the bedroom. He had a pair of boxers on and his hair back up into a bun on top of his head. He tossed a t-shirt at me and I smiled seeing that it was his. I slipped it on and pushed my hair back as much as I could. I figured I would deal with it in the morning.

"You supposed to work at the clubhouse tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna have to wear a turtle neck. No amount of makeup is going to cover this up."

I pointed at my neck. He gently tilted my head to the side and nodded.

"Didn't hear you complaining."

"Oh, it wasn't a complaint. Just an observation."

He pulled me over and sat me down on the bed. He crawled over me and laid down. He pulled me to him and wrapped his arm around me as he pulled the blanket up. He looked over at the clock and chuckled. It was three minutes after midnight.

"So, was I?"

"Were you what?"

"You told me to ask you in the morning if I was taking advantage of you. It's morning."

"Opie, go to sleep, you smartass."

He tilted my head up to kiss me before nestling back into his pillow. I placed my hand on his chest and sighed. I couldn't believe what had just happened, but I didn't regret it. Where I was felt more at home than I ever expected it to. I wasn't sure where we would stand in the morning, but for the moment I was at peace.

* * *

I woke up the next morning to pounding on the front door then Jax yelling for me. I pulled the blanket up, remembering I was only wearing a t-shirt. Opie looked at me and laughed, knowing I was panicking. I looked over as Jax walked into the doorway.

"Jesus Christ it smells like sex and booze in here."

"Jax, what are you doing here?"

"Figured I'd come get my little sister and take her to work since I didn't get a chance to bring her car over. And what do I find? She's still in bed smelling like the party continued here last night."

"Shit, what time is it?"

"Almost nine. Gemma is expecting you at eight thirty."

"Fuck."

I hopped out of bed and ran into the bathroom. I could hear both the guys laughing in the bedroom as I hopped in the shower. That was not how I wanted anyone to find out about me and Opie. I wasn't even sure I wanted anyone to find out about me and Opie. I wasn't even sure what the hell we were.

I walked out into the bedroom wearing a bra and panties while I rushed around looking for my clothes. I glanced over at the bed to see a black turtleneck and grey skin tight jeans on the bed. I slipped them on quickly and ran a brush through my hair. Luckily the conditioner helped loosen up the mess I had.

I ran back into the bathroom and quickly put on my makeup. I covered up the bags under my eyes and make sure all the hickeys and bite marks were covered. They were even darker that morning than they were the night before. I walked out quickly into the living room and Opie handed me my knee high flat boots. I slipped them on and he handed me my purse.

"Thank you."

"Mhm."

Jax was watching us with wide eyes as Opie drank his coffee. He handed me a mug and just as I was about to walk past him he grabbed my arm, pulling me back. He pressed his lips to mine and held them there, forcing me to slow down. He pulled away and smirked at me.

"It's just Gemma. Calm down."

"She isn't your mother."

"No, but she sure as hell thinks she is sometimes."

I nodded and smiled at him. Jax cleared his throat as he was looking at us with accusing eyes.

"I'll wait outside, Savannah. Hurry up."

He walked out the door and I looked back at Opie. He pulled me into a hug and I couldn't help but laugh.

"I think we just made Jax uncomfortable."

"Oh, I know we did. Should have seen his face when you went flying out of bed looking like that."

"I'm sure I'll hear about it."

"Yeah he will want to know what's going on."

"Uh, what is going on?"

"Well, hopefully I spent the night making love to my girlfriend, but that definition will have to be confirmed by you."

"I think I can handle that."

He smiled and kissed my lips quickly. He led me to the door and opened it for me. I walked outside to see Jax already on his bike. I looked back at Opie and saw him smile as he shut the door. I wanted more than anything to wipe the grin off my face, but Jax caught me before I could.

"C'mon sis. We will talk about this later."

I climbed on the bike and wrapped my arms around him as we drove towards the clubhouse.

* * *

We got to the clubhouse and I ran into the office to get working. Due to everything happening, I had been put on probation at the hospital. They were letting me catch up on my classes, but I wasn't able to go in to work. I told Gemma, well more like Jax told Gemma, I could help out around the clubhouse. I had a feeling it was to make sure I played nice with Clay and also kept an eye on him. No one trusted him.

I had been working for a while when I heard Gemma walking around the lot. I dug my nose back into the work I was trying to finish, wanting to avoid any conversation she may have wanted to start. She walked in and shut the door behind her.

"You were late."

"I know, I'm sorry. My alarm didn't go off."

"Late night?"

I laughed not wanting to divulge exactly why it was a long night. She walked over to me and pulled at my turtle neck, causing me to shoot back.

"Savannah! It is eighty degrees outside. Did you really think you could hide that from me?"

"I don't really care if you know. I don't need everyone else to know."

"What are you, twelve? Hickeys all over?"

"Not sure how you grew up but I didn't start having hickeys until I was about sixteen."

"Yeah, cause you didn't grow up here."

She sat down on the couch and looked at me.

"Considering the mood Happy has been in, I'm assuming he didn't leave those?"

"No, but he left a nice bruise on my arm from grabbing me last night."

"What?"

"I was going to leave and he snagged me over by the door. Tried to get me to go to bed with him but I wasn't interested. He got all territorial and squeezed my arm too tight when Opie showed up."

"So, Opie left those marks on your neck."

"If you must know, yes."

"Baby, you can't keep playing them."

"I'm not. Happy and I are not together."

"And you and Ope?"

"We are the opposite of not together."

"When did this happen?"

"Kind of yesterday, kind of this morning. You can thank your son for forcing the conversation."

"Just be careful, baby. Happy isn't going to be happy."

"That's why I'm going to talk to him today so he isn't blindsided. He fucked up when we were together but that doesn't mean I want him to be hurt."

"Alright. How is Ope?"

"Sad. We don't talk about it a lot, but he will every once in a while."

"I know you read the letters."

I sighed and set the papers down. I wasn't sure if she was even aware of them, so I had kept my mouth quiet.

"That why Clay tried to kill me and Tara?"

"Why he killed Piney, too."

"There wasn't much there that I didn't know about already. I mean, I am a product of your indiscretions. Plus, everyone in Arizona had their suspicions. How many letters did you hide from Jax though?"

"A few. I figured there was enough that could be hidden."

"Did you know he was going to kill JT?"

"I don't know what I knew. I knew I was pregnant by someone other than my husband and my youngest son died. I hardly remember that time."

"Is that why you actually sent me away?"

"Clay wanted to keep you safe. I knew I wouldn't be much of a mother to you. There was just no way. I didn't want you raised with a broken heart."

"No more lies, mom. There is enough danger with Clay being around. We don't need you trying to do shady shit too. Tara and Jax are staying. I'm not going anywhere either."

"I think I've done enough damage, Savannah. I'm tired."

"I know mom. Why don't we go shopping one day this week? I'll even play nice and ask Clay for money."

"Spoiled brat. I'll have Tig watch the office tomorrow so we can go."

"Okay. I can't promise they won't send someone with us though."

"I know. I'll go talk to Tig. You should really talk to Happy."

I nodded and looked through the window at Happy. His whole face screamed hangover and anger. I decided to finish my paperwork up before lunch time so I could talk to him.

* * *

I looked out to see everyone leaving the garage. Happy normally ate lunch at his station, but I watched him continue to work. I sighed knowing that he was working to avoid everyone. He always told me how peaceful it was in the garage after hours. I used to find him out there often when he didn't come right into the clubhouse. We would sit out there in a comfortable silence while he worked. I set my papers away from me when I saw I had a text from Opie.

**You want to grab some lunch?**

_Actually need to talk to Happy. Don't want him to find out anything before I can talk to him._

**Sounds good. Need me there?**

_Nah, I'm okay. He's sober._

**Dinner then?**

_You paying?_

**Anything for you, babe.**

I smiled and put my phone in my purse. Knowing my luck, Tig would come in and look at it and start yelling about life being unfair. I walked out of the office and into the garage to where Happy was working. I sat on the bench next to his toolbox and watched him work.

"You waiting on something?"

"Just for you to notice I'm here."

"I noticed."

"Don't feel like talking to me?"

"You're the big talker."

He slid out from underneath the car and sat up, still sitting on the roller. He reached past me and grabbed his cigarettes, lighting one up. I reached over and took one out of his pack and lit one too.

"Since when do you smoke?"

"I smoked before I met Adam. Been craving one for weeks."

"What did you need?"

"I wanted to talk to you about last night."

"I'm sorry I lost my shit. I had way too much to drink. I'm honestly having a hard time accepting I fucked up."

"I knew it was just from you drinking. I'm not upset about it."

"Then what's up?"

"You had a right to be upset I guess. I wasn't being completely honest with you. I mean nothing had really happened yet, but I was lying by saying there was absolutely nothing between me and Ope."

"I know. I could tell by the way you were looking at him, mama."

"I'm sorry."

"Well, there is something to be said about you coming to me about it. How long as stuff been going on?"

"Uh, just last night. He kissed me yesterday before the party but I'm pretty sure it was just to shut me up."

"Yeah, that usually works."

I looked at him and realized he had a sad smile on his face. There wasn't any anger there. I sighed in relief and put out my cigarette.

"He asked me if I wanted him here for this."

"What'd you say?"

"Said no. I wanted to talk to you without too much testosterone flying around."

"I fucked up, Savannah. I knew it as soon as I did it. I'd love to say I'm mad, but if I am it's at myself."

"I still don't want you hurting."

"Let me hurt. I deserve it."

I stood up and reached my hand out to help him up. He popped up and pulled me into a hug. He kissed the top of my head and pulled away.

"He make you happy?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm comfortable around him."

"Good. You need to feel safe with all the bullshit around here."

"You do know I never meant for any of this to happen, right?"

"I know, sweetheart. There's no hard feelings here. Just don't be a stranger alright?"

"Okay."

I smiled at him for the first time in what felt like forever. Just as I was about to walk away, he stopped me and pulled my turtle neck down. I froze, realizing quickly what he was going to see. Instead of him getting mad, he burst out laughing.

"Jesus, Savannah. Was wondering why you were all covered up."

"Yeah, well, no amount of make-up is going to cover that up."

"Fuck it. Why hide it?"

"Kind of wanted to talk to you first."

"We're good. Don't die of a heat stroke just to hide something from me."

I walked away feeling my face flushed. I would have to remember to kick Opie's ass for the marks later.

* * *

I spent the rest of the day in a much better mood than the morning. Not that everyone knew, but the ones that mattered did. I was relieved to know that Happy wasn't pissed. I didn't need his approval, but it was nice that he wouldn't be starting shit. I heard a bike roll in and looked up to see Opie. I checked my phone and saw that it was after five already. I got up and grabbed my purse and walked towards his bike. I noticed he was wearing his cut. He cut the engine and backed it into his spot.

"Well hey there, stranger. Come here often?"

He laughed and stayed sitting on his bike. I walked to him and he wrapped his arm around my waist.

"You always greet bikers with cheap pick-up lines?"

"Just the hot ones."

"Well, shit. There are a lot of attractive bikes that come through here on a daily basis."

I slapped his chest and he pulled me down into a kiss.

"What's going on with you wearing the cut here?"

"I'm in SAMCRO."

"You coming back?"

"Yeah. I'm still pissed, but if you can play nice I can too."

"He didn't kill my father."

"No, but I think having him as a father is even worse."

"You might have a point."

"Jax wants me to sit at the table, but then we can head to dinner."

"Alright."

Opie stood up and swung himself off his bike. He pulled me into him and kissed me again, backing me up away from the bikes. I laughed and bit my bottom lip as the tow truck pulled into the driveway. Everyone cheered for Bobby and he hopped out of the truck. I smiled and Opie put his hand on the small of my back and we walked over. I watched all the guys greet Bobby with a smile.

"We shouldn't be long, babe."

Opie kissed my cheek and they all walked inside. I sat at the table and relaxed for a while. Realizing it was going to take a while, I laid on the top and lit a cigarette. The smoke in my lungs felt amazing. I knew it was a bad thing to do, but it felt good. I heard the doors swing open but I didn't move.

"Damn, doll, you look awfully inviting laying here like this."

"In your dreams, Tiggy."

"Damn right in my dreams."

I saw Chibs stomp past me and go right for his bike. Before I could sit up, I felt a large hand on my thigh and then Opie's face over mine. He pulled me up and turned me so he was standing between my legs while I sat. I heard the guys talking shit and it made me smile.

"Guess that's one way to tell everyone. Thought you don't do possessive though?"

"Not. Just kissing my woman."

"We still going to dinner?"

"Yep. Need you to put something on for me later."

"Is this when you start showing all of your kinks?"

Opie laughed and shook his head. He handed me a thin piece of fabric and looked at my face. I smiled when I saw it said V. President.

"You took it?"

"Yep."

"I'm proud of you, baby. Why was Chibs so mad?"

"Clay told everyone he killed Piney."

"What?"

"Yeah. Claimed it had to do with their beef over the cartel."

"You know that's a crock of shit, right?"

"Yeah, I know. They also know I shot Clay."

"You gonna get blowback for that?"

"They voted me as VP right after."

"Guess that answers my question."

He kissed me and pulled me off the table, leading me towards his bike. I made eye contact with Happy for a second, and he smiled back at me and nodded his head. I climbed onto the bike with Opie and we pulled away.

 


	19. You Don't Think He'd Come Back For You?

My heart was breaking. I had no idea what was going on, but I was watching my brother, my boyfriend, Tig and my favorite Scott being dragged away. The cops had come for Jax Tig and Chibs, but Opie punched a cop in the face to go with them. I had no idea what he was doing, but when he kissed me and walked away, I knew there was something wrong. I had tried to grab onto his arm, but he pulled out of my grasp and Happy held me back.

I found myself sobbing as they put him in the truck. I had heard mention that someone wanted them dead. Opie was now heading to the same place knowing that. I questioned everything.

"Calm down, we'll get them out." Happy rasped to me.

"You don't know that."

"Savannah, you need to trust me."

"It's not that I don't trust you, Hap."

"Then what is it?"

"I just have a really bad feeling about this."

I looked at him and could see my own fear reflecting in his eyes as he nodded at me. I walked into the clubhouse and right into Ope's dorm. The whole thing smelled like him and it made my heart ache even more. I sat on the bed and continued to cry.

Happy checked on me a few times. He would sit on the bed next to me and give me updates. I never had to speak a word to him, he knew what I was wondering. He told me about Pope. He told me about why everyone was in jail and the hope that they would be safe. I knew he shouldn't be telling me most of what I was hearing, but I wasn't going to stop him. I didn't have the energy.

It felt normal being close to Happy. Me not wanting to be with him was never about not sharing a connection. I always felt so calm near him, of course unless his hands were on me. That was a different story though. What made my mind up about leaving him was not being able to trust that he would stay.

Deep down I knew he had a great reason for pushing me away. I still didn't know what I would have decided if Jax hadn't shot me. I wasn't ready for a kid and this life was dangerous. I just wished deep down that Happy had talked to me instead of pushing me away. I'm not sure that anything would have been different, but we would probably still be together.

My mind flashed to Opie and the connection that we shared. He was a great guy. It was easy being around him. The only problem I ever really had with him was when he hit me. I had promised myself that I would never be with someone who laid their hands on me. But here I was, curled up in his bed miserable over him being torn away from me.

I wondered if I was weak. I constantly wondered if my attraction to him was some sick self-destructive tendency to go for men that hurt me. I had a very short history of men in my life but really, all three had hurt me. I frowned to myself realizing that I had a type.

All three were physically very different. Adam was tall and skinny with barely any meat on his bones. Happy was tall but intimidating. His dark eyes, I swear, could burn a hole right through your soul. Opie was tall too, but in a teddy bear kind of way. They all had this bad boy persona and I internally groaned that that was my type.

"What are you thinking about?"

I snapped back to reality and realized I was either straight up ignoring Happy or he had stopped talking. I pulled myself up out of the ball I was in and leaned against the headboard.

"Just processing my life, I guess."

"Existential crisis?"

"I guess you could call it that."

"Talk."

I looked at him with apprehension. As much as I wanted to get all of it off my chest, I wasn't sure he was the right person to talk to. After all, he was part of my inner musing.

"Talk or I'll go get Gemma."

"Jesus, you have a mean streak."

"You act like you don't know that already."

I smiled softly and played with my hair.

"Just realizing I have a type I guess."

"A type?"

"Yeah. I mean, I've only been with three men. The three of you couldn't look any more different from each other. You all have that stupid ass bad boy thing though. Figures, the daughter of a biker would end up pulled towards the bad boys."

Happy chuckled as his face softened a bit.

"Ya know, I thought I would be the last person you'd end up with. Then after Ope hit you I didn't think you'd even look at him again, let alone fuck him."

"Yeah, you're not the only one."

"When did that shift happen?"

"Right before I told you about the pregnancy. He came up and apologized. I could tell he meant it. I know I swore I would never forgive anyone who put their hands on me. I learned I can't live in absolutes though."

"Sometimes arguments get heated. Not saying he should have hit you, but you living with that hate isn't good either."

"I know. He called me when I was in Oakland. Told me about Piney. Drove up and got me. He held me the whole way to the hospital after Jax shot me."

"Still find it hard to believe he shot you."

"Yeah well, apparently the Teller-Morrow siblings go big or go home with our fights."

Happy chuckled and looked back at me. His eyes looked sad which was something I wasn't used to.

"I wish I could have been there to help you."

"I know."

"Through all of it."

"I know. I did miss you, ya know."

"When I thought you were dead, it nearly killed me."

"I'm sorry I couldn't let you know."

"I deserved it. So, nothing was going on with you and Ope before?"

"No. Honestly only happened because Jax started asking questions and prodding into it. Not saying it wouldn't have happened anyway, but it was pretty platonic before then."

"You love him?"

I looked at him and felt my stomach drop. The pain on his face was heartbreaking. I sighed, not wanting to have this conversation with anyone, let alone him.

"I don't know, Hap. We haven't been together that long. We're just comfortable. There isn't expectations or boundaries. We don't even talk about much. We usually just sit in silence. There isn't a whole lot of depth there."

"Why do you think he went in with them?"

"I don't think he plans on coming out alive, Hap. I know he took the VP patch but he's broken. There's just this whole piece of him that's gone. I didn't know him before Donna died, but I saw something shift in him when Piney did. Between all that and losing Lyla too. He's just different. I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't think he'd come back for you?"

"I'm not naïve enough to think that I can save him. I think I help ease the pain a little, but I can't ever give back to him what Clay stole."

"Ya know, Ope isn't the only one who's changed."

"What do you mean?"

"You've hardened. You aren't the same girl from even a month ago. You're strong. You're realistic."

"Yeah."

"I hate it, Savannah. Ope isn't the only person that Clay stole from."

I nodded at Happy as he got up and walked out. He was right. I had changed. I lost a part of me too, through all of that.

Maybe that was the connection that Opie and I shared. It didn't matter what either one of us did in our past, just that our broken souls understood each other. Like two grounded birds, surrounded in the dark, we were the only two that could understand the frequency our sad songs carried.

It wasn't a matter of love or lust, just merely that our silence wasn't deafening to each other. The silence was the only thing that made sense, it was comforting. In the world we lived in, comfort wasn't something that was come across very easily. I didn't love him, but I loved the solitude that he gave me. I loved that we didn't need to explain anything or argue about feelings. I loved feeling safe knowing that it was okay to be broken. He wouldn't ask me to heal or talk through shit because he didn't want to either. I didn't care that he would drink himself to sleep because, honestly, it was hard for me to sleep without the hot liquor running through my veins as well. There were no expectations and no restraint. Just comfortable silence.

Something in my chest seemed heavy, suddenly. It felt like an unbridled loss. I wasn't sure if there was a way that I knew, but it felt like the world was a little less full. I sat up taller, expecting the world to collapse into darkness, but nothing changed. Nothing moved and the lights were just as bright. I looked up at the doorway to see Happy with tears in his eyes.

"Savannah, he's gone."

* * *

I sat at the table in the clubhouse, staring at the packet of papers in front of me. First thing that morning, the lawyer had come to talk to me. Before Opie went in, he had talked to her. Everything he owned, in the event of his death, would become mine. His children would go to Lyla along with a good chunk of money. None of that surprised me though. Lyla loved those kids, just as much as she loved her own son.

"Just gonna stare at that stuff, sis?"

I looked over to see Jax sitting at the table with me. I had been so lost in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice when he sat down.

"He knew he wasn't coming back."

"Seems that way."

"He left me everything."

"Doesn't surprise me, you were living there."

"I don't think I can go back in that house."

"Take your time, Savannah. No one expects you to just do everything right now."

"There's a letter in an envelope in the back."

"You read it?"

"No."

I felt his hand on mine and I looked up. He had so much pain in his eyes. I realized they were probably a reflection of my own. Opie was his best friend. They had grown up together. I felt like an asshole for being so shut off when my own brother was hurting so badly.

"When you're ready."

I nodded and watched him walk out of the clubhouse. I looked around and frowned. It was a Friday. Everyone should be partying and laughing. Instead, we were all getting ready for a funeral. Jax had told me his body would be there the next day. I knew I needed to find the strength between that moment and then to read the letter. I would only have one chance to say goodbye.

I looked up to see Lyla walk into the clubhouse, and it went dead silent. I tucked the papers into my hoodie and walked towards her. I hadn't seen her since she left after the whole Ima incident. I was sure she knew me and Opie were together, but we hadn't spoken.

"Savannah."

"Hey Lyla."

"Can we talk?"

"Of course. Come back to my room."

We walked back as the rest of the clubhouse started moving again. I was sure that they all thought there would be a fight. We walked in and I shut the door behind us.

"A lawyer came to see me this morning."

"Yeah, same here."

"I had heard you two were together. You okay?"

"I guess so. I was blindsided just as much as you were."

"I hope you know I'm not mad."

"Didn't think you were, Lyla."

"Was he happy? Like, when he was with you?"

"I think he was comfortable. I don't think he was capable of being happy, Ly."

She nodded as the tears started streaming down her face. I walked over and pulled her into a hug. I wanted so badly to lie to her and tell her that he talked about her all the time. I wanted to tell her that he loved her above anyone else, but I couldn't deceive her like that. She needed the truth, and the truth was that he didn't love anything.

"I don't know how I'm going to take care of three kids. I can barely take care of Piper."

"Those kids, and you, belong to the family here. You aren't ever going to be alone."

She nodded a buried her face into my shoulder. I just held her while she cried. I thought about the man that we both had just lost. He meant so much to everyone in this building, but he was gone. I felt the tears sting my eyes and we held each other, missing a man that hadn't really been alive in a very long time.

* * *

I sat up on the roof holding his letter in my hands. Lyla had gone home to take care of the kids and break the news to them that Opie was gone. I had offered to go, but considering they didn't even know me it was best if I wasn't there. Gemma had gone with her instead.

All I could do was stare at this note, not knowing what it would say. This note meant he was really gone. It meant that I would never go back into that house and find solitude in his company. We would never watch crime shows and laugh at the reenactments. We would never wake up wrapped in each others arms smiling at the love we had made the night before. I held the note to my chest and brought my knees inward. I felt like If had let go of myself at that moment, I would physically fall to pieces.

I lost track of time and to this day have no idea how long I cried on that roof alone. Eventually, I heard movement at the hatch but I couldn't control myself. I didn't care who saw me or knew that I had finally snapped. I felt hands on me as my body was pulled against someone. The smell of the cologne made it very clear that it was Chibs.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, lass. You lost him too."

"He's not coming back."

I heard him sigh as he pressed his face into my hair.

"No. He's not."

I cried into Chibs as he held me close. I felt guilty. No one else deserved to cry less than I did. They all knew him for years. Some of them most of his life. Yet, here I was, crying uncontrollably on top of the roof. I was able to pull myself together and control the sobs before I sat up. I looked over at Chibs and saw that he had been crying too. I looked back down at the letter and tightened my grip on it.

"You're the only one he left a note for, ya know?"

"Really?"

"Aye. I know you're lost sweetheart, but we're here."

"Will you stay with me? Just until I read it? Don't know if I can do it alone."

"Aye, lass. I'll stay with ya."

I opened the envelope and unfolded it, seeing Opie's messy handwriting.

_Savannah,_

_I gave this letter to the lawyers knowing that if you ever read it, it would mean I was gone. I couldn't leave without saying all of this to you but knew I could never tell you in person._

_I'm going in with Jax, Tig, and Chibs. I have to. I need to make sure that they are safe. I need to make sure that Jax gets out and keeps the club together. The club took so much from me, but I don't want it to die under the wrong person. I took the VP patch, but I want out. I need out. There is only one way out of the club, and that is to die._

_I don't ever want you to think that I gave up on you. You were the small light in this very dark life I have. Having you in my arms the past little while has been amazing. I don't think I could ever love again, but if I felt anything close to love, I felt it for you. You were everything I needed and I hope that I was that for you too even though this means that has ended. I didn't know I was going to do this until I heard everyone was going in. Please don't think I planned this and hid it from you. I've always been upfront with you, but I am not strong enough to tell you goodbye in person._

_If there is anything you can do for me, it's to keep living. Don't let Clay get away with all this shit. Don't accept any of this shit, Savannah. You were brought into our lives for a reason. I know the reason for me, but I am convinced that you are here to save everyone else. I can't be saved and I know that it's going to kill you. Please don't push Lyla out. She's going to need you. Don't let my kids be part of the club. Beat them if you have to. They deserve so much better than this life. The house and everything in it is yours. Do with it as you please. I put away a ton of money underneath the floorboard in the bedroom. Use it to take care of yourself._

_I wish we could have met during different circumstances. I wish we could see each other without the blinding darkness this club has put on us. You're strong though. You can make it out of everything. I've seen you survive shit that I don't think I could endure and did so with a smile. I hope more than anything you find peace. I hope that beautiful smile graces your lips more often than not. I hope that you're able to forgive Happy and see how much he cares about you, even if you never get back with him. He will keep you safe. Him and Jax. Stick close to them. They're going to need you too._

_Goodbye, my sweet Savannah. I hope you can imagine me sitting next to you on the roof telling you all of this in person. You deserve much more than this rushed letter. I'm sorry._

I held the note to my face and could still smell him on the letter. It was folded a bunch so I knew he wrote it and carried it with him. My chest felt like it was going to cave in, but I continued to feel the breath go in and out. He wanted me to live. He wanted me to keep everyone safe, just like he would have if he were still here. As much as I wanted to give up, he was right. I had a place there with the MC and I couldn't give up on that.

"What did he say?"

"That he's sorry."

"We all are, Savannah. Every single one of us."

 


	20. You Ready For This?

I walked out into the garage, knowing that Jax was in there smoking. He was sitting up against his toolbox with a joint in his hand. He looked miserable.

"Hey sis."

"Hey, Jax."

I sat down next to him and he offered me the joint. I shook my head, not wanting to fall asleep. For being part of his family, I didn't have nearly the tolerance that the rest of them had for both alcohol and drugs.

"You read the letter?"

"Yeah."

"What'd id say?"

I reached into my pocket and went to hand it to him, but he held his hand up and shook his head.

"That was for you, Savannah. Just want the cliff notes."

"He didn't want to tell me before he left, because he knew I would stop him. Said it was the only way out. He knew that he was lost."

"Nothing we didn't know already."

"Said he didn't know how to love anymore, but was glad we had our time together. He just wanted out, Jax."

"That's what I got from it when he pushed me aside."

"Pushed you aside?"

"He saved my life, Savannah. I was going to sacrifice myself so him and Chibs made it out."

"He said you needed to save the club. He knew why I was brought into his life, but he thinks that my purpose here now is save all of you."

Jax nodded his head and he took another hit.

"There is a damn good reason you're here, Savannah. Don't forget that."

"I feel so out of place, Jax. Like, I look around and try to see where I fit in all of this. For a while I just saw myself as Happy's woman. Then I saw myself as just living out the rest of my days with Opie in a comfortable silence. Now I look around.."

"And it's like you don't even know how all this shit ends. Like you have no place for yourself and nothing makes sense anymore."

"Yeah. I can't see past today. I can't see a damn thing but what is in front of me right now. I don't even know who I am anymore."

"You're my sister. You're Gemma's daughter. You're a part of this family and you're a part of this club. We all feel a little lost sometimes, we just gotta keep moving forward."

"I don't feel like I fit in anywhere, this place included. I don't know how to move forward."

"You do belong here. We all need you. Opie was right. He may have been a little off kilter and lost, but he was usually right."

I leaned my head on Jax's shoulder and sighed. I had wondered if Jax and I would ever really feel close to each other, but honestly we always had. I think losing Opie made us even closer. We understood each others pain without saying a word. We sat there in a comfortable silence as he got high and I found the comfort in his company. I found the most comfortable times in my lie was when no one was talking.

* * *

We had spent a few hours, just relaxing together. I knew that they would be bringing Opie in soon, but I couldn't bring myself to go into the clubhouse, and Jax seemed to be feeling the same way. I watched as everyone pulled in, Lyla included. They all parked and just walked into the clubhouse. Jax and I watched them without a word. Just as the sun set, the hearse pulled in.

"You ready for this?"

I sighed and nodded as I watched him stand up. He reached his hand out, helping me up. He pulled me into a quick embrace and we turned towards the hearse.

I stopped at the edge of the circle that had formed. Gemma and Lyla moved next to me and we watched SAMCRO pull the coffin out. It was beautiful. Pure black with silver handles that seemed to glow. They walked it inside, followed by all of us. Lyla and I were the first women through the door. She reached out and took my hand, lacing her fingers with mine. It felt like all eyes were on us and it made it so real. We watched as they brought the casket into the chapel and opened it.

"Lyla, do you want to go in first?"

She looked at me with fear in her eyes.

"Could.. could you go in with me?"

"Yeah. I'll stay with you."

We walked in and everyone but Jax left. I looked back at Chibs as he shut the door. I looked back forward at the man laying in the casket. He looked so peaceful. It reminded me of the days when we would lay in bed. His face would relax and he looked young again. The pain contorted his face, even if he didn't know it did. As soon as he got out of bed, his whole demeanor would change. Us laying in bed was his escape and my heart ached knowing that we would never have that again.

"I'm so sorry. To both of you. Neither one of you deserved to lose him."

I could hear Lyla sobbing next to me. I had tears in my eyes also, but I knew that this is what Opie really wanted. He found peace and I knew deep down that he wasn't in his body anymore, but it was written all over his face.

"I can't believe he's really gone." Lyla sobbed.

She walked forward and touched his face lightly. She had her right arm wrapped around her own torso, almost as if she was afraid she would fall apart if she let go. She continued to sob before she ran out of the room. Jax hung his head low and sighed.

"I wish she didn't need to see this shit."

"I know, Jax."

"You seem to be handling it pretty well."

"He wanted out. I hate seeing him like this. I hate seeing him laying there knowing I'll never hear his laugh or see his sideways smile when he's telling me I'm being crazy. But.. how can I be sad when he did what he wanted? He wanted you to be safe, for the club to be safe and to get his out."

"We would have let him out though, Savannah."

"You tried to leave. Why didn't you?"

"It's in my blood."

"He was no different."

Jax went quiet for a few minutes and nodded.

"I'll let you say goodbye. Guys are gonna want in here soon."

I nodded and touched his hand when he placed it on my shoulder before walking out. I heard the doors shut behind me and sighed. I knew that I was holding it together for everyone else, but I honestly felt more at peace when it was just me and him. They had dressed him in a nice pair of jeans, his cut and his beanie. Even though he was pale and had a cut down his face, he still looked handsome. I could almost imagine him looking at me with his half smile. He would tell me everything is alright and things would be better. Seeing him made the memory of his voice so strong in my head. I stepped forward so I was closer to him.

"So, Jax told me earlier that they like to put things in the caskets. Pictures or anything that would be a great memory for you to take with you. I don't really have anything. I have some great memories of you, honestly some of the best ones I have involve you. They aren't exactly happy ones though. I thought of leaving you my hospital bracelet from when I was shot, but that was a terrible night for you. I thought of leaving the remote since you loved monopolizing it when we were home, but that house holds so many ghosts for you. I wish I had known you before. I wish I knew what your smile looked like before Piney and Donna. I wish I knew the real you, not the one that was so broken you had to found a way out. I don't blame you, Ope. Not even a little bit. I just miss you. I don't know where we would have ended up and I know you say you couldn't love anything but you loved me in the only way you knew how. I'm rambling."

I laughed and sniffled, trying to stop the tears from streaming down my face.

"You would be lauhing so hard at me right now."

I rolled my eyes and laughed again imagining him laughing at me and shaking his head. I looked back at him and smiled through my tears.

"I'm taking care of everything though, Ope. Jax knows you want him to save the club. Lyla is taking care of the kids. I'm doing the best I can and I know that's all you'd ever ask of me. I love ya, Ope. I'm so glad you found your peace."

I kissed my finger tips and placed them on his nose as I laughed through more tears. He always hated when I would kiss his nose and would always get me back for it later. He wouldn't this time though. I placed my hand on the side of his head, making sure I memorized every angle of his face.

"Goodbye, Ope." I said as I turned around and walked through the doors.

I didn't bother looking at anyone else. I couldn't. Everyone was waiting outside the doors for me to say my final words to him, so I slipped past them, keeping my eyes on the floor. Saying goodbye to him hurt like hell, but it also felt like there was a weight lifted off my chest. I think the reason I was doing so well with everything was because I truly felt like he did the right thing for himself. For once in his life, he did something that would bring himself peace and if I couldn't accept that then I really didn't care about him at all.

* * *

After Opie had been put into the hearse, I stayed outside at the picnic table. Normally I didn't mind being around everyone, but it was so stuffy inside. I wasn't sure if it was not wanting to be around anyone or the fact that every was so sad. The only person who didn't look at me like I was going to fall to pieces was Happy. He was being so great about everything, but that didn't surprise me. They may have called him the Tacoma Killer, but he was never that man with me.

I heard his labored breathing before I even heard his footsteps. I had done a great job at avoiding Clay so far, but I figured with Opie dying it would just be a matter of time. I kept my eyes focused on my hands as he sat down next to me.

"It alright if I sit here?"

"You're already sitting."

"Yeah. That is true. How you holding up, kid?"

"I'm alright."

"Savannah, I know I fucked up. I know that what I've done can't be forgiven easily. I'm just asking for a chance. Your mother and I are doing alright. I want that with you too."

"Clay, you have left a path on destruction through this club, this town and your family. You're my father. None of that changes anything but tried to have me killed. You got into Happy's head and made him think our child wasn't his. You tried to kill Tara. You beat the hell out of mom. You killed Piney and you killed Donna. Honestly? It's your fault Opie is dead."

"I know you loved-"

"Don't presume to know how I feel. I told Jax I could come around and be nice to you. I know you want to fix shit but you can't just expect me to be one hundred percent okay with you."

I finally looked over at Clay and was taken back by how hurt he looked. It was the first time I had really looked at him in weeks. He looked old and tired. His whole face was faded and I knew it couldn't be completely from being shot.

"I understand Savannah. I do. I got so damn caught up in the power I lost everything. I know I need to pay for what I've done, but all I'm asking is to be comfortable until its time."

"None of the rest of us are comfortable. We just finished saying goodbye soon after we buried another. I got shot the day you did too, Clay. I lost so much because of you and I wasn't even the worst case."

"You and Hap okay?"

"I don't know."

"I know you and Ope were together."

"Yeah, kind of."

"I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain."

I looked at him and expected to see lies and deceit. I expected malice and ulterior motives. Instead I just saw genuine regret. I saw a man defeated who meant every word he was saying.

"Keep listening to Jax. He can fix all your bullshit. I can't promise you that we will ever be on good terms, but I won't be nasty towards you. It's going to take a lot for me to trust you again."

"That is more than fair."

I saw Happy walk up and stand near us. I knew he had been watching from the doorway. No on trusted Clay anymore. Clay turned and looked at him before standing up.

"No worries, brother, just mending fences. Savannah will never be harmed by me again."

Happy nodded but said nothing. He looked at me and I watched his eyes dance across my face, searching for anything that would give away what Clay and I had been talking about. I smiled softly at him, finding comfort in him being so protective over me.

"Jax wants me to take you to my apartment tonight."

"Jax trusts you with his little sister, does he?"

He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Should he not?"

"You tell me. You're the one who knocked her up a few months ago."

I watched a small smile play across his face for a split second before it hardened again.

"He doesn't trust Pope not to try something. Considering you're trying so hard to stay out of the clubhouse, figured you didn't want to stay here."

"Nice deflection, Hap. Thank you, though. You're right. I really don't want to stay here and I'm not ready to clear out Ope's house yet."

"You figure out what you're gonna do with it?"

"No, but probably sell it. Layla is going to meet up with me and get things for the kids. Ope didn't want them in the club, but that doesn't mean they should know nothing about their father."

Happy nodded and continued to stare at me.

"You know what I think we need?"

"What?"

"Alcohol."

I laughed and reached my hands out for him to help me up. Instead, he tossed me over his shoulder and walked us over to his bike. My laugh rang out across the lot and it sounded foreign to me. It had been days since I had even really smiled, let alone laugh. At that moment, I knew that Opie had been right. Happy would always keep me safe and make sure I was okay.

 


	21. I Don't Feel Safe With You

"You sure you want to do this alone?"

I nodded as I walked into Opie's house. Technically it was mine, but I didn't plan on keeping it. I looked around and saw a lot of the pictures missing. I had offered to let Lyla and the kids go through everything first. It was therapeutic for all of us to really get closure. I half expected to hear Happy's bike start up in the driveway, but the sound never came.

I had been staying with him every night for the past week. His apartment that he moved to was small. It made things a little awkward since I refused to let him sleep on the couch and he refused the same for me. There was this huge part of me that had wanted to curl up into his side. I never made the move though. We had been through so much lately and I was starting to feel a little loose to be honest.

Things still weren't great with the club. There was a lot going on that Happy had tried to explain, but none of it made much sense to me. Jax offered to come over and talk to me, but I told him to spend time with Tara and his boys.

Speaking of Tara, she had called me every day around lunch time. She was scared and lonely. I couldn't blame her, it could have easily been Jax in that casket instead of Ope. She seemed to be getting in a better place though. Her hand was healing and I had actually gotten Jax to sit down and talk to her. She wants out of Charming, but I made a great point that it's probably safer here.

I walked through the lonely house and tried not to be overwhelmed by the memories I had made there. The TV and console were both gone, but I figured Kenny would take them. I stood with my arms wrapped around my torso, not realizing I wasn't breathing all that well when I heard a soothing voice behind me.

"Jax said you would be here, baby. You can't do all of this alone."

I felt Gemma wrap her arms around me as I came undone. I had been doing so well, but other than the funeral I didn't really face it. Opie was gone. No amount of alcohol or laughing with the guys was going to change that.

"I should be able to."

"Baby, being strong doesn't mean never leaning on anyone. We all miss him terribly. You know that."

"Yeah."

"What do you want from here?"

"Whatever pictures are left. I have some clothes in the bedroom and he said there was a lock box under the floorboards in there too."

"Nothing else?"

"No. I'll get everything else boxed up and donate it."

"I think the guys should do that. They need to feel like they're doing something."

"They wouldn't mind?"

"We're all hurting."

I nodded and walked into the bedroom as Gemma pulled pictures off the wall. I put my clothes in the duffle bags I had, and pulled the floor boards up. Just like he had said, I found a black lock box. I opened it and saw way more money than I had even seen in one place. I felt my eyes bug a little and I shut it. I had no idea where I was going to put it.

"Jesus, he must have never spent a dime."

"Right? Where the hell am I going to put all this money?"

"We can get you a safe for your place."

"I don't even feel comfortable going there since someone broke in."

"I know. Ask Hap to put it in his safe for now."

"That's a good idea."

I stood up and picked up my bags. As soon as I walked out the door Happy took them from me and put them in Gemma's SUV. I still had the green box in my hand, unsure of how to feel about it.

"What's that?"

I looked up at Happy as he took it out of my hands. He opened it up, chuckled, and set it back into my hands.

"Can put it in my safe at my place."

I nodded and gave him a weak smile. Gemma hugged me goodbye before getting into her car and leaving. The normally comfortable silence between myself and Happy was deafening. I was looking at everything but him as I felt his gaze on me.

"Let's go."

I climbed onto the bike and hesitantly wrapped my arms around his torso as we took off. I looked back at Opie's house and hope it was the last time I ever saw it. I needed to find my baring and really understand where my head was. So much had happened. So much pain and anguish. I had lost just as much as I had gained. I was a far cry from the scared girl that showed up in Charming on that very bike, yet I felt exactly the same.

* * *

We pulled into his driveway quicker than I expected. I followed him up to the door and saw that my bags were already there. Gemma must have driven like an idiot over here. He snagged them off the ground as he pushed the door open.

"Go make something to eat. I know you haven't eaten in a while."

"I'm not-"

"Go. Eat."

"There is literally no breakfast food here."

"Why?"

"Because you ate it?"

"Then get your scrawny ass back outside, I'll take you to the diner."

"Happy I-"

"I said go."

I turned towards him and crossed my hands over my chest. I don't know what snapped inside of me, but I was pissed. He had no right to talk to me like that.

"No."

He looked up at me and stood up straight. Every fiber in my body was screaming at me to back down. I had never seen the rough side of him before, but I had heard stories. He wasn't a man to be messed with.

"What did you say?"

"I said no."

Within a flash, he was right in front of me. I fought the urge to flinch away from him. His dark eyes and threatening demeanor sent a chill down my spine.

"Get. Outside."

"No."

My voice sounded much more confident than I was feeling. At the same time, though, I felt on fire. I not only was standing up for myself, I was standing up to the killer of SAMCRO. I watched him roll his jaw and I realized I was actually getting to him. This wasn't him trying to act tough. I was getting in his head.

"Sav-"

He was cut off by the rumbling of bikes rolling up. He moved the curtain to look outside, and relaxed. He went to walk out the door, but stopped and turned back to me.

"This isn't over."

When he walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him, I let out the breath I had been holding. I walked into the kitchen and started making a list of everything he was out of. I noted down a few things I wanted myself. I figured if I was going to be held captive there I would need to have my own food. I heard the door open and expected Happy to come flying in.

"Savannah!"

I peeked out the doorway to see Jax and Chibs. I heard bikes start up and pull away.

"Where is Hap?"

"Had some errands to run. He said you haven't eaten yet."

"No."

"Let's go to the diner then."

"What else did he tell you?"

"That you decided today was the day you wanted to die."

I burst out laughing and grabbed my purse. Both men smiled at me as we walked and I climbed onto Chibs bike with him.

We ordered our food and I laughed as Chibs flirted with the waitress. He had sat with me, which only made the waitress seemed ever more confused. He had his arm carelessly thrown over my shoulders. I was always comfortable around Chibs. He made me feel safe in the most innocent of ways. I kept looking over at Jax. He was watching me with a sad smile on his face.

"Alright, Jax, whats wrong?"

"Not much gets past you, does it?"

"No."

"If I told you I just like seeing you smile, would you believe that?"

"No."

"Smart girl."

"I am your sister."

He nodded and smiled. He let out a sigh while searching my eyes.

"I need your help. We. We need your help."

"Club?"

"Yeah."

"What's up?"

"We think Clay and the new guys are the ones who have been breaking into the houses. We're having a hard time really figuring it out, though."

"You need me to get close."

"Clay will let you in. He doesn't really see you as part of the life. He thinks you're vulnerable."

I thought to myself for a moment. I hated Clay. I really didn't want much to do with him and the idea of being around him that much more made me sick to my stomach. I looked up at Jax. He looked broken.

"How long have you been wanting to ask me this?"

"Few days."

"Why did you wait?"

"We were trying to find a different way so we didn't need ta pull ya in." Chibs responded.

I nodded and pulled my phone out. I flipped through my contacts until I found Clay.

_Are you busy?_

I shut my phone thinking it would take a while to get a response, but it went off immediately causing Jax to perk up and look at my phone.

**_What's wrong? You okay?_ **

_I just.. I don't feel safe._

**_Where are you?_ **

_With Jax right now, but I just don't feel safe around anyone._

**_You talk to your mother?_ **

_She just doesn't get it. She has this blind faith that Jax will always keep me safe._

**_When will you be back at the clubhouse?_ **

_I can have Jax bring me there._

**_Good. We will talk when I get there this afternoon then._ **

I handed my phone over to Jax and let him read it.

"Ouch, sis. Blind faith, huh?"

I shrugged and smiled at him.

"It's good though. I'll have Hap meet us there. We're gonna have to go big with this."

"What do you mean?"

"We're gonna need him to show Clay why you don't feel safe."

"He hasn't-"

"Savannah just trust me. I need you to put on your acting pants."

I rolled my eyes and finished my food. I watched as Jax took out his phone and sent a text out. He smiled at me and we finished our food in silence.

* * *

We pulled into the clubhouse and Happy was waiting for us with Tig. I smiled at them and hopped off Chibs bike after he parked it. I walked over and was pulled into a hug by Tig.

"Hey, doll face. How are you?"

"I'm good, Tiggy."

"This lug treating you alright?"

"Depends on who you ask."

Tig laughed and kissed the top of my head before following Jax and Chibs inside. I smiled softly at Happy. His eyes were dark but his face was softer than normal.

"Can we talk Savannah?"

"Yeah, where?"

Happy started walking towards the back of the garage and I followed. He knew I liked it back there. It was quiet, other than the sounds of the garage and occasional Tig swearing, and there was enough shade that I could read comfortably. We got behind the building and he sat down in one of the chairs Jax had put back there for me.

"Jax said you're on board with finding out what's going on."

"Yeah. Clay should be here in a little while."

"You know we need to play this up right? Give him a reason to pull you in close quickly?"

"Jax said something about it."

"Savannah, I don't want to treat you shitty."

"You never have."

"That's a lie, but today is going to get nasty. The club is pretty split right now. Its Clay and his guys versus everyone else. We're gonna need to make that divide even bigger."

"And us arguing in front of him would make it bigger."

"Yeah. It would."

"Then I'm okay with it."

He got up and walked closer to me. I could see him studying me and knew he was looking for a reason to call the whole thing off.

"Hap, I'm okay."

"What was up earlier today?"

I sighed and shook my head.

"I don't know, Hap. Just something in me snapped when you started telling me what to do."

"Started? That was hardly the first time I've told you what to do."

"I know. I'm just tired."

He pulled me into his chest and wrapped his arms around me.

"I get it. I know you mean in your head, but you really haven't slept very well either."

"I know."

"There a reason for that?"

"I feel bad I'm in bed with you."

He looked down at me and tilted my head up.

"Talk to me."

"I just.. I bounced from you, to Opie and now back to you."

"We haven't been fucking."

"I know that. But you mean to tell me if I came onto you, you would stop me?"

"No, because I wouldn't. Never have."

He had a grin on his face and it made me laugh.

"You think Ope would be mad at you?"

"No. I know he wouldn't."

"Then where is this guilt coming from?"

"I don't know. It's probably because I've been with all of three people, that I remember, and I bounced from one to another pretty quickly."

Happy ground his teeth and growled when I mentioned not remembering everyone I had technically been with. He hated me bringing up Adam and everything he did to me.

"So? I don't even know how many people I've fucked. Hell, I don't even know their names most of the time and if I do it's something like Candy or Ashley."

"Ashley is a pretty normal name, Hap."

"Yeah well every Ashley I've met is a whore."

We both laughed and I enjoyed seeing his smile reach his eyes.

"You think I'm wrong for feeling that way?"

"I've known Opie for years. He'd want you happy, not second guessing your every move."

"He told me you would always take care of me."

"Damn right I will. That's why I'm not too thrilled about this whole thing."

"I know, Hap. But I need to do this."

He nodded and I felt him tighten his arms around me. He held me there for a few minutes before loosening his grip and putting his hands on each side of my face, looking me in the eyes.

"Just promise me something."

"What?"

"You feel like you're in danger, even a little bit, you call me."

"I will."

"And please don't listen to a damn word I say to you when Clay gets here."

I nodded and closed my eyes as he kissed my forehead. I hadn't even realized how much I missed the intimacy between the two of us. He was always a completely different person with me than he was with anyone else. It almost made it hard to believe that he was this famed killer inside the club. Almost.

"Hap?"

"Yeah?"

"Am I going to be seeing the nasty side of you now?"

He nodded and checked my face for a reaction. He figured I would be scared but the truth was I wanted to see it. I had a theory that you couldn't truly love someone until you knew every side of them. He had been so careful not to let me see the deranged off the wall person he could be. I knew this would be a breaking point for us. I would either continue to feel the way I did for him, or I would see him for the monster everyone thought he was.

I knew that we needed to head back inside. Clay would be there soon and seeing us cozy wouldn't help our plan. Not that he could see us behind the building, but it wouldn't look the greatest with us hiding behind here either. Instead of pulling away I just stayed wrapped up in his arms. Truth was there was a huge chance I wouldn't even make it out of this alive. I had no idea if and when I would be in his arms again, for the time being I just enjoyed the strength and comfort that he gave me.

No one was safe in this club life. I was no different.

* * *

**_I'll be there in 10_ **

I checked my phone and felt my heart start to race. A comfortable silence had fallen over the clubhouse, but now it felt suffocating. I had been sitting at the bar for an hour waiting to hear from Clay. None of his goons were there, so I was able to act like myself for a little while longer. I had been talking to one of the girls behind the bar. She seemed so nice, it was hard to believe the things she did just to try to get into the good graces of the club.

"Jax. It's almost time."

Jax looked at me and nodded. He walked over and looked at the croweater behind the bar.

"Clay is on his way. Get a drink ready for him and if shit gets heated you head on out. Alright?"

"Sure thing, Jax."

Jax walked away and was talking to Happy and Tig. Chibs was reading on the couch but I could see he was watching me. This whole thing was set up to look normal but make sure I was going to be safe. The guys started playing pool and I turned back to my drink of water.

"You okay, sweetheart?"

The croweater could tell there was something wrong, not that she would ever say anything.

"Yeah. Just dreading some things that need to happen."

She nodded and squeezed my hand. Even though she barely knew anyone here, she had faith in them. I did too, but it was more my faith in myself I was lacking. When the doors opened I plastered on a smile when my eyes met Clays. I nervously glanced over at Jax as he sat down with me.

"You okay?"

"Uh, yeah. I think."

We were talking pretty quietly but Happy turned to look at us. The fire in his eyes scared me. I knew he needed to act tough but his glare was intense.

"What's going on?"

"Dad I just.. I don't feel safe. Happy leaves me home alone all the time and I don't even have a gun."

"He leaves you alone?"

"Yeah. Whenever Jax needs something he just takes off without a care about me."

"He shouldn't be leaving you alone."

"I know and.. It's probably nothing."

"What? Talk to me."

"I see this black SUV driving really slowly by his apartment all the time. I mentioned it to Jax but he said it was nothing and not to worry."

"When does it show up?"

"As soon as Happy leaves."

"Jesus Christ."

"Dad, I really don't want to go back there.."

"Good because you're coming home with me. C'mon sweetheart."

We got up and he put his arm around my shoulders. I sunk into him, almost like I was glad for his protection. I heard Jax and Tig swear as Happy stepped in front of us.

"Where the fuck are you going, Savannah."

"Happy I-"

"You don't need to answer him, daughter. She's going with me because you are too incompetent to keep her safe."

"The fuck she is. She's staying right here until I take her home."

The two men stared at each other and I could feel the hate coming from Clay and Happy. This scenario may be fake, but the animosity between them was not. Clay pushed me behind him and stepped forward.

"I may be an old man, but you will not be telling me what my daughter will be doing."

"The little whore is going home with me."

"Call her that one more time."

I stepped out from behind Clay and put my hand on his chest.

"Dad, let me take care of this. Okay? I'll ask for you if I need you."

He hesitated and looked between me and Happy.

"I need to do this."

He finally nodded and took a step back, leaning against a table.

"Happy, I don't feel safe around you."

"Not safe? You ungrateful little bitch. You're lucky I even let you in my house let alone make sure you're still alive. If it wasn't for you being his daughter, you would have been in a ditch already."

"I didn't ask for your help."

"No, you didn't. You never ask for help. You just do stupid ass shit and make everyone freak the fuck out when you get hurt. How many times have I pulled you off the ground?"

"You didn't have to help me! You never had to!"

"You're right. I should have just let you fucking bleed out in the parking lot. Better yet I should have left you on the floor for Adam to fuck while you were unconscious."

I slapped him across the face then covered my mouth. I hadn't even made a conscious decision to slap him, but there we were. He growled and grabbed me by the arm, hard.

"We're going."

He started dragging me towards the door and I scrambled to get away from him. He was crushing my arm so I knew there was going to be a nice bruise there soon.

"Let me go!"

"YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO." He roared.

He swung me over to the wall and grabbed the front of my shirt, leaning in close.

"You need to learn your fucking place, slut. Someone in the club tells you to jump, you suck their dick then ask them how high. You already have the dick sucking part down pat, by the way you've crawled your way through this club."

I felt tears sting my eyes as my lip started to quiver. I saw it. I saw what everyone told me he was capable of. I saw all the hate and anger built up inside of him. I could see his demons screaming behind his black eyes. I think what scared me more was my own reaction. I wanted nothing more than to reach out and calm them. I realized, at that very moment, I would do everything in my power to fight them all away. All the rage, hurt and anger. I would die making it all disappear.

"Do you understand me?"

I nodded, knowing that if I opened my mouth I would just start crying. He let go of my shirt roughly and stormed out of the clubhouse. I stayed where I was, letting my tears roll down my face. Jax walked up to me and shook his head.

"You need to learn to listen, Savannah."

I nodded and looked at the ground. I could see Clay staring at me. I knew if I looked Jax in the eyes I would give it all away. Tig touched my face for a second and frowned as he walked past me.

"Savannah."

I turned and looked at Clay. He reached his arm out to me and I walked into his embrace.

"C'mon. Let's go."

* * *

The ride to Clay's place was quiet. I looked out the window and let myself keep crying. I knew him well enough to know that he had no idea how to handle crying women. I had seen Gemma get out of more than she should have just by shedding a few tears. He tried to get me to eat something, but I told him I was tired and went right to bed. He had checked over my arm, and there was a nice hand print of a bruise. I shrugged it off and crawled into the spare bed after shutting the door.

I had been staring at the ceiling for what seemed like hours. I wanted to stay awake in case Clay started talking about the break ins, but I was really tired. I looked down at my phone and saw that I had received a message.

**_You okay?_ **

_Yeah._

**_I'm sorry._ **

_For what?_

**_Hurting you. I never wanted you to see me like that._ **

_It's okay. I needed to see it eventually._

**_Text this number if you need me. You're the only one with the number._ **

_Okay._

**_Try to get some sleep._ **

_Hap?_

**_Yeah?_ **

_I miss you._

**_Want me to come get you?_ **

_No. I actually hear someone._

**_Who?_ **

I crept out of bed and put my ear up to the door. The three goons were in the living room with Clay.

"We messed up."

"What?"

"We broke into the house you said to. His wife was home."

"Shit. What happened?"

"We shot her by accident."

"Fuck. That where you got that scratch?"

"Yeah."

"Jesus Christ. Get home. And clean your shit up."

I heard the door shut and I quickly moved back into bed. I could hear Clay pacing in the living room and swearing to himself. I was half tempted to go out there for a drink, but figured he would think I heard him. I curled back up in bed and picked my phone up.

_Got it. Tell the blonde beauty I need to see him tomorrow._

**_Alright._ **


	22. You Think You Have This All Figured Out

I was sitting behind the garage waiting for everyone else to get there. It took some convincing to have Clay bring me back, but Gemma had helped ease his mind. She came up with some elaborate story about how she needed help and a hand around the shop. I actually did help her for a while, but as soon as Clay took off she pushed me out of the door.

I had spent most of the night trying to convince myself that what I heard wasn't true. As much as I hated Clay, I didn't want to think that he would kill random people just to fuck with Jax. I shook my head knowing that someone was out there suffering because of him when I heard movement around the corner.

"Hey sis."

Jax walked into sight, followed by Chibs and Happy. I smiled at them and let Jax pull me into a hug. He checked me over and when he saw I was okay, let go.

"What did you find out?"

"Last night I heard people coming in. It sounded like the three assholes. They came in talking about how the house they hit had someone in it, and they shot her."

The three looked at each other then back to me.

"What else?"

"One of them was hurt and said it was her. Clay told them to go get cleaned up and there would be another hit tonight."

"Alright, sis. Great job."

"Need me to go back."

"No."

Happy responded before anyone else could. Jax nodded in agreement, after giving the killer a side glance.

"He's right. You're good. We're going to confront him today. You don't-"

"Who did they shoot?"

"Sheriff's wife."

"Oh god. Is she okay?"

"No. She didn't make it."

"She was always so nice to me. I went into the shop with Gemma sometimes. Is he okay?"

Jax shift his feet and shook his head.

"She was pregnant."

"What?"

"Yeah. Guess they had been trying for a long time."

"How.. how far along was she?"

"Around six weeks. We gotta take off for a while. You good here?"

I nodded but was barely paying attention. That was the second woman he had hurt while pregnant. I could feel my heart racing and honestly wanted to throw up.

"Mind if I stay back?"

Jax nodded at Hap and looked between the two of us. He pat him on the shoulder and followed Chibs. Happy looked at me and scowled at my arm. When the guys disappeared from sight, he stepped forward and pushed my sleeve up.

"It's not that bad."

"The fuck it isn't."

He let go of my arm and looked away from me.

"You once said you would never let anyone hurt you like that again."

"This is different."

"No. You sat there and looked me in the eyes and refused to speak to Clay because he did the same thing."

"Hap, we planned this. This was needed so I could get close to him."

"I hurt you."

"The arm doesn't hurt nearly as bad as the words did."

He turned back with a look of anguish on his face. I shut my eyes realizing what I said.

"Hap-"

"I didn't mean any of that. I didn't mean a damn thing, Savannah."

"I know you didn't. I don't know why I said that. I'm sorry."

He looked at me and his eyes shifted darker.

"You're not okay."

I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I made contact with his.

"That's the second child he's killed."

I meant to say it out loud, but it came out barely above a whisper. Happy pulled me into his chest and I buried my face into his kutte.

"I wasn't even sure what I was going to do. I had no idea if I was going to carry through to the end or have it taken care of. I was terrified. That woman tried for YEARS to get pregnant. She died knowing that she was losing that life inside of her too."

"Did Clay order her to die?"

"No, but he didn't order Jax to shoot me either. He's just toxic. He's a vile.. awful.. fucker."

Happy laughed as I stumbled over my words. I looked up at him and slapped him through my tear soaked smile.

"I hate you sometimes."

"No you don't."

"How do you figure that?"

"You wouldn't have been upset by what I said."

"I guess you're right."

"Obviously, I'm always right."

I rolled my eyes and tried to walk past him, but he stopped me by hooking his arm around my waist. I laughed as he wrapped me up in his arms and swung me so my back was against the building. His eyes were dark and it sent a shiver down my spine.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you. You hate me, remember?"

He let out a low growl as he kissed and nipped at my neck. My eyes fluttered shut as I let out a soft moan. This spurred him on, causing him to grind his hips into mine.

"Hap."

"Shh."

"Oh, that's right. You tell me how high to jump and I suck your dick and ask how high right?"

"If you're offering.."

I laughed and pushed him lightly but he moved back. His eyes were still dark but his smile reached them. We looked into each others eyes and I felt my heart race.

"Remember the first time you kissed me?"

"Of course. You're in much less pain this time though."

"Yeah. I was so nervous around you."

"You still are."

I looked at him, trying to read his face.

"I saw you and Ope together, Savannah. You were so comfortable with him. Won't lie and say it didn't hurt."

"I didn't have anything to fear with him."

"You fear me?"

"I fear losing you. I fear you looking at me and seeing what I see in the mirror."

He put his hands on each side of my face and forced me to look at him.

"Haven't I shown I'm not going anywhere?"

"It's not-"

"Savannah, I love you. That means I'm always going to look out for you. I'm always going to do what's best for you."

"Why.. why didn't you say it before?"

"I've said it before but I think you were sleeping."

"When we were at Opie's, why didn't you say it then?"

"Isn't what you needed to hear. You needed me to accept whatever choices you made."

"You sat there and told me you were happy for me, that you were okay with me being with another man."

"I was, as much as I could be. You two needed each other. Club always comes first and Ope was needed. You needed to smile again. If my brother is what brought that out in you, I would gladly keep my mouth shut for the rest of my life."

I felt tears welling up in my eyes. I had been so caught up in my own shit I didn't see the way he looked at me. Happy wasn't the kind of guy that would fall in love. He wasn't the doting loving boyfriend. He was a killer. Yet here was, standing in front of me telling me he loved me.

"Don't cry."

"This isn't you. Love? Affection? Hap, you're a killer."

"I am still human, Savannah. I know that I make myself look like a monster incapable of feeling much, but I do feel. Granted most of it is for you, but I do feel."

I chewed on the bottom of my lip and tried to read his face.

"Can you ever forgive me?"

"For what?"

"For everything I've done. I ran and let you think I was dead. I fell into bed with your brother and I-"

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine, with his hands still on my face.

"Already forgiven, Savannah. Can you forgive me?"

"Nothing to forgive, Hap."

"I knocked you up, pushed you away, let you go and then left a bruise on your arm."

"Would you please just get over the damn bruise?"

"As soon as you get over beating yourself up."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yes. Fine."

He smirked at me and pulled me into his chest. I smiled into him and wrapped my arms around his torso.

"Hey, Savannah?"

"Yeah?"

"Someday you're gonna wear my crow. You know that right?"

I smirked up at him.

"You think you have this all figured out, huh?"

"Oh, I know I do."

 


	23. That'd Be Like Not Breathing, Hap

I had already gotten the call that Jax needed more time. They needed to figure things out more with the whole bullshit robberies and killings. That also meant playing nice with Clay for longer.

"Savannah."

I turned to Tara walking towards me. She pulled me into a hug and held me tightly. She had been dealing with so much bullshit. Jax had sent her away right after Opies funeral. Her and the kids went on a vacation. She needed it.

"Hey, Tara."

"Jax told me what's been going on. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It sucks. It sucks really fucking bad. I don't want to be around him. I don't want a damn thing to do with him."

"I know. Got somewhere to stay?"

"Well, since Jax isn't ready to blow the lid off everything yet. I have to stay with Clay."

"I don't like that."

"I don't either, Tara. Not one bit. How is everything else? Other than that?"

"Wendy has been sniffing around."

"Wendy?"

"Jax's ex wife."

"Seriously? What the hell does she want?"

"Abel."

"Over my-"

"Not like that. She just wants to be around him I guess. She's clean. Doesn't help that Gemma keeps putting ideas into her head."

"Gemma is starting shit?"

"Savannah, Gemma is always starting shit."

"Where is your head on this?"

She sighed and plopped down in a seat next to me. I sat down and took her bandaged hand. I hadn't seen it in a while so I wanted to check it out.

"She has a point. I can't keep Abel from her. Plus, with the way that Gemma is.. it might not be bad to have someone on my side."

"Whatever you want me to do, Tara. I'm here. Would you feel better if I talked to Gemma? I can even find Wendy if you want."

"I'm tired of doing all of this alone. I feel so fucking suffocated."

"Jax has a lot on his plate, Tara. I'm here though. I get both sides of this. I didn't grow up in this bullshit but I know how much its tears you apart to see your family caught up in everything."

"You do all of this so gracefully. I don't know how you do it."

"I wouldn't really call what I do grace. Have you looked at my life lately?"

She laughed and gave me a sad smile.

"Any help you want to give me, I'll take it."

"Alright. Just as long as we keep Jax in the loop too."

She nodded and hugged me again. I had missed her so much. She seemed different now though. Almost like that vacation made her realize what could happen. Gemma was a different story now though. After all this shit happened with Clay, she broke. She was dangerous. She was also my mother. At the same time though I would put her down if it meant keeping my family safe.

* * *

A few hours later I watched Jax walk in. Clay was still off doing whatever it was he felt like doing. I had a sneaking suspicion it was to just stay away from me. He didn't know how to handle women on a good day. We all knew that he would only keep me close when he had to put on a good show.

It was late. Way later than I ever expected Jax to be around. He was really good at staying home with Tara, especially now that she was back. I thought that they were going to implode, but something seemed to change. Jax was so broken after Opie died, but instead of letting a part of him die along with him, he seemed to have a new life.

"Hey sis. You're still here?"

"Could make the same kind of comment to you. Don't you have a family to take care of?"

"Couldn't sleep."

"Same thing here."

He sat down next to me and pulled the bottle of whiskey out of my hands.

"Got used to letting that bottle lull me to sleep."

"He was pretty good at that. You drink like this at Happys?"

"No. I usually fall asleep sans liquor there."

"I'm sorry you can't be there now."

"It's alright. Hap went off on this tirade about how some day I'll be wearing his crow."

"I can see it."

"I don't know what I see."

"You aren't the only one."

We both took a swig of the whiskey. It didn't even burn anymore. Pretty sure I was an alcoholic.

"Jax, we need to talk about Gemma."

"Yeah. I have no idea what the hell her problem is."

"She's been talking to Wendy."

"What?"

"Yeah. Guess she's been back around trying to get to Abel."

"I'll fucking kill her."

"Listen. She isn't going to be a problem. You don't have a lot of friends anymore, Jax. She isn't going to hurt anyone if you just give her a little. You don't even need to tell Abel anything yet."

"You really think it's a good idea to let her in?"

"She could have ratted on you. I'm sure she knows a hell of a lot from being your wife. She was a hang around before that. Think about it."

"So, you're saying to just let her in?"

"No. I'm saying that having someone around that cares about your son isn't a bad thing. I don't know her. I don't know if she's really gonna stay clean and be an upstanding citizen. It isn't gonna hurt that you have someone who cares about Abel and understands the life."

"Maybe you're right."

"When am I wrong, big brother?"

"You're always a smart ass, little sister."

"Jax. Gemma is dangerous."

"I know."

"No. Listen to me. She is dangerous. Her and Tara are not in a good place and if you want my honest opinion, she would hurt her if given the right chance."

"You really think she would?"

"I might be her daughter but you're her baby boy. She would do anything to keep you close."

"I'll keep an eye out. You do the same, alright?"

"Yeah. I'll look out for you. Always. Jax, I know you told Nero to stay away from Gemma. Maybe it's a good thing to get her away from the club more."

"You sure you aren't some genius mastermind?"

"You might be rubbing off on me a bit, Jax."

He ruffled my hair and walked out towards the front door.

"Hey Jax?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't be afraid to come to me for shit. I know I'm not the queen or any shit like that. I am your sister though. I'll do what needs to be done to help you. To help the club."

He nodded and gave me a quick smile before walking towards the back. A few minutes passed before he poked his head back in.

"Savannah."

"Yeah?"

"I might actually need your help."

* * *

I was sitting with a cup of coffee in my hand outside a shop downtown. Jax had asked me to get ahold of Wendy and talk to her before he did. She was hesitant at first, but as soon as I explained I was his sister she wanted to meet as soon as possible. I looked up as a slender woman with long curly hair walked up.

"You Savannah?"

"You must be Wendy."

"You look so much like Gemma."

"Thanks."

She sat down and I pushed a coffee over to her.

"Thanks. I hope I don't look like I need it."

"Everyone needs coffee."

She laughed and took a sip.

"So, I talked to Jax about the fact that Gemma has been starting shit between you and Tara."

"You did?"

"Yeah. It needs to stop."

"I-"

"I'm not here to threaten you. I'm not here to manipulate you. I am here because I think Jax and Tara need more people on their side. I know you're clean and I know you've had a steady job for a while. That is no easy task. I get that. I also have a lot of respect for you that you didn't just come barreling in to see Abel. I can't imagine what it's like to know you almost killed him. Honestly, I don't want to. However, we all think it would be good to have someone around that loves Abel that understands the club. You didn't rat when you and Jax split so I'm sure you won't now."

"So what do you need from me?"

"Jax isn't coming back to you."

"I know."

"Tara is Abel's mommy. She loves that boy just as much as she loves Thomas."

"I know. I can see it."

"You can get to know him but as of now, he won't know you're his biological mother. He is way too young to even try to comprehend that."

"Okay."

"Don't listen to Gemma's shit. If Gemma tries to start anything, you come to me and I will handle it. You will be Aunt Wendy just like I am Aunt Savannah. Does that work for you?"

"That's more than I could ever ask for. Jax is really okay with this?"

"Yes. Shit is pretty sideways right now with the club."

"When isn't it?"

"I haven't been here long, but I can't argue. Tara has the boys in daycare, but there will be times that they need to be picked up. I won't always be able to do that or I won't be able to stay long with them. Those will be your chances to be with them and have responsibility. That means Thomas too though."

"I would be more than happy with that, Savannah."

"Okay. Good. Was really hoping that we wouldn't sit here and argue."

"For being Gemma's daughter, you are so much more rational than I thought you would be."

"Didn't grow up with her."

"I can tell."

We both sipped at our coffee in silence, but she had a smile on her face. It almost looked like she was trying to hide it from me."

"So how the hell did you end up with my brother?"

She laughed and started in on the story of her life. She told me about how she grew up and ended up mixed up in drugs as a kid. She told me how her friend brought her to the clubhouse and taught her how to keep her foot in the door. Jax was still hung up on Tara and fell in a routine of drinking and fucking Wendy. She told me about the hospital and how Gemma gave her enough crank to put a horse down.

"And that's how I lost everything."

"You're healthier now though."

"Yeah. That is true."

"Abel will know who you are some day. He will know you did what you had to do to keep him safe. He will know he always had people to love him, and you love him just as much."

"Why are you being so kind to me?"

"I don't believe in absolutes. I've been through some shit in my life and it made me stronger in the long run. Who am I to judge? Just don't fuck up again."

"I don't plan on it. Been clean for a long time."

"Well, keep holding onto that. I'm not sure when they're gonna be ready for you, but you can call me any time."

"Thank you, Savannah."

"Not a problem, hun."

"What keeps you around here? I mean other than family. You didn't grow up with them."

"Would it sound typical if I said I fell in love with a biker?"

We both laughed and I ran my fingers through my hair.

"Which one? Juice?"

"Nope."

"Chibs?"

"No."

"Eww please don't say Tig or Bobby."

"Oh my god, no."

"Who then?"

"Happy."

"Wait. Big scary tattoo covered from head to toe guy that doesn't talk?"

"That would be him."

"Woah. Didn't know he actually even talked to women."

"I'm just about the only one."

"That's.. interesting. I'm happy for you though."

"Wasn't really something I was planning on, but it just works."

"No one needs to understand it but you, hon. You be happy. That is all that matters."

"You're right. Actually, I need to go meet up with him. Oh, and if Clay asks you for some weird reason.. Happy and I split up a long time ago."

"Oh, uh, okay."

"Thanks, Wendy."

"No, thank you. You have no idea how much this all means to me."

"Just don't screw it up, okay?"

She nodded and grabbed my arm as I went to walk away. She quickly pulled me into a hug and squeezed tight. I hugged her back and hoped I was doing the right thing.

* * *

I drove up to a small diner outside of town. Happy had text me the address that morning and asked me to meet him. The whole sneaking around thing was almost exhilarating. I felt like a damn teenager again. When I pulled in, I saw his bike parked on the side. I walked in to him sitting in the back facing the door. A smirk played across his face while he played with his toothpick.

"Hey there, sexy." He growled as I sat down.

"Hey there, handsome."

He leaned forward and kissed my lips roughly. The waitress walked over and took our drink orders. She kept looking at us weird.

"You sleep with her before or something?"

"No. A lot of people meet prostitutes here."

"Oh Jesus Christ."

He laughed and took my hand in his.

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too, Hap."

"Go-Go and Greg the Peg got shot."

"I thought Jax was waiting?"

"He was. They went after Unser."

"Shit. He okay?"

"Yeah. He put them down. We're looking for Frankie now."

"Shouldn't you be with the guys?"

"Nah. Trying to lay low for a while. Jax and Tara went up to the cabin. Gemma is picking up the boys."

"Where's Clay at?"

"Probably panicking because if we find Frankie, his ass is grass."

Our waitress dropped off a basket of fries and our drinks. She looked me up and down and walked away.

"She thinks I'm a hooker."

"You aren't? Cause I booked a room next door already."

I smirked at him and shook my head.

"How much am I getting paid for this?"

Happy got out of the booth and tossed down a twenty. He grabbed my arm and pulled me up, leading me out the door. I was trying not to laugh at the looks we were getting. He pulled me across the parking lot and to the room at the end of the little strip motel. At this point I was laughing hysterically knowing full well everyone thought I was a prostitute. He opened the door and pulled me in, slamming the door behind us.

"Happ-"

"Shut up."

He pushed my back roughly against the door and pressed himself into me. When I tried to put my hands on his chest, he grabbed my wrist and pinned them up above my head before slamming his lips into mine. I could feel him pushing for dominance but I kept up the fight. He moved down to biting and kissing my neck, causing me to let out a small moan.

"Happy."

He hummed into my neck as he continued to bite and kiss me.

"What the hell got into you?"

"You complaining?"

"No. We just haven't in a long time."

"I know."

He stopped and looked at me. My chest was heaving from breathing so heavily and I could feel my cheeks were on fire. He let go of my wrists and grabbed each side of my face.

"You alright?"

"Yeah. Just been a while."

"You alright with this?"

"I wouldn't have come here with you if I wasn't."

"You're sure?"

"Jesus, Hap. Yes."

He growled and tossed me over his shoulder, eliciting a small squeal from me. He tossed me down on the bed and shrugged out of his kutte, setting it on the chair next to the bed. I could feel my heart racing knowing that I was going to see his incredibly sexy body again. The first time we had sex was so slow and passionate. That wasn't the mood in the air this time though. He stepped forward and undid his jeans, letting them fall to the ground. He quickly tossed his shirt off before climbing on top of me.

"You're still dressed."

"I figured since you were doing this whole macho man thing that I had to wait for permission."

He smirked and nipped at my bottom lip. It hurt just enough to send a jolt through my body. He pulled my shirt up and off me, tossing it to the ground before quickly undoing my bra and tossing it in the same direction my shirt just went.

"Not sure how the hell you got even more sexy, Savannah, but damn."

I felt my face flush even darker as he stared at my half naked form. He brought his mouth down and pulled my left nipple in his mouth roughly and I felt his teeth scrape across it. My hands shot to his head as I moaned out loudly.

"I think it's gonna be my goal to hear that as many times as possible for the rest of the night."

"Jesus, Hap."

He quickly ripped my jeans off as I stared at the muscles rippling across his chest. He had a new smiley face and I made a mental note to ask about it later. He pulled my lace panties off and quickly took his boxers off too.

"You are going to put something on, right?"

He smirked at me and showed a condom he had in his hand. I let out a shaky laugh feeling stupid for not realizing he had one in his hand. He ripped the package off and slipped the condom on his rock hard member. He hooked his hands behind my knees and quickly pulled me towards him. We both stopped as both of our phones started ringing.

"Oh Jesus Christ."

He grabbed his phone off the floor and tossed me mine. He answered his and turned away from me. Mine was flashing Tara.

"Hello?"

"Savannah. Gemma was in an accident."

"Oh my god. The boys. Are they okay?"

"They're doing all these tests on Abel. Savannah I'm so scared."

"St. Thomas?"

"Yes."

"I'll be right there."

I shut the phone and started scrambling for my clothes. I looked up to see Happy holding out my shirt.

"Jax?"

"Yeah. They got attacked then-"

"Then Gemma."

"Yeah."

"It's gonna be quicker if you ride on the bike."

"I can't. If Gemma is in the hospital Clay is gonna be there."

"Fuck."

I kissed his lips quickly and held his face close to mine.

"We will continue this. I promise."

"I'm gonna have blue balls like you wouldn't believe."

I laughed and received a growl back. He kissed me and pulled me close.

"You drive safe, Savannah."

"Same goes to you. Is this going to be safe for you to drive? There is someone out there targeting you guys."

"Yeah. Don't you worry about me."

"That'd be like not breathing, Hap."

"You are so fucking lame."

"Now you see it?"

He kissed me again and shook his head. We head out of the room and towards our vehicles.


	24. Are You Doubting Me?

As much as we tried to stagger our leaving, we still showed up at the hospital at the same time. I ran upstairs and almost ran straight into Clay. I stopped dead and he looked behind me at Happy on my tail.

"He giving you a problem?"

"No. He just happened to pull in at the same time. Mom okay?"

"She's a little banged up. She's okay though."

"Abel? Thomas?"

"They're doing some tests on Abel. His heartbeat isn't even. Thomas is alright."

"Shit. Alright. Take me to moms room?"

"Sure thing."

He tossed his arm around my shoulders and walked me down the hallway.

"Something going on between you two?"

"No. I got the call from Tara. I was with Wendy."

"Wendy? Junky whore?"

"Yeah. Really long story."

"Alright. Just let me know if Happy gives you more of an issue, alright?"

"I will dad. I don't think he's going to be a problem though."

"I know shit has been going pretty sideways around here, but I want you to know that you're still welcome at my house."

"Yeah, I know. I just stayed at the clubhouse last night. Got pretty wasted and didn't want to drive."

"Been there before. Look, I gotta go talk to Jax. Your moms room is down the hallway."

I nodded at him and hurried to her room.

"Savannah."

"Mom. What the hell? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine. You heard anything else on Abel?"

"Just that his heartbeat is uneven. I came right to you. Ran face first into Clay coming up the stairs."

I turned to see Jax standing in the doorway looking mad as hell. He walked in and gave me a look letting me know he was about to lose his shit. I stood up and took a step back, not wanting to be in the middle of them.

"You can stay Savannah."

I nodded at him and looked back at Gemma. She looked guilty.

"What happened? Were. You. Drunk."

Clay stared talking from the doorway.

"Guys in the van went after her. Ran her off the road, just like you."

Lying. He was lying. I may not have been around Clay all the time, but I knew damn well that Clay was lying through his giant ass teeth.

"Jesus Christ. Did you get a look at them?"

"Nope. Happened really fast. Van just came out of nowhere."

"Oh my god. I'm sorry mom."

"Are my babies okay?"

"Yeah they're fine. This is my fault."

"Oh no. No I'm okay sweetheart. Just go take care of business alright?"

Chibs, Tig and Bobby walked in, causing Clay to walk out. Jax walked towards them and started heading out. Chibs was looking at Gemma like he knew she was lying too but he blew her a kiss. I watched mom squirm as the guys talked outside. I heard them say Tig was going to stay and they were going to bring Happy instead. My stomach dropped knowing Happy would be in danger, but I couldn't give myself away even a little bit. Clay was still right there.

"Savannah can I talk to your mother for a minute?"

I looked up at Clay and nodded, walking out the door to Tig. He tossed his arm around my shoulder and kissed the top of my head. I stayed close to him but tilted my head to hear what Clay was saying.

"I didn't know what else to do. I can't have him hating you too."

I looked back at Tig, knowing he heard it too. He shook his head and planted a fake smile on his face. I copied it and rest my head on his shoulder as I watched the guys walk out. Happy locked eyes with me for a minute and I nodded, letting him know I was okay. He let out a quick smile and I huffed out a sigh, hating that I couldn't run to him.

"You two good?" Tig said low enough so only I could hear it.

"Yeah. Just ready to be back to normal."

"Me too, kid. Me too."

* * *

I was sitting in the waiting room when Roosevelt walked up and started talking to Clay. I knew he wanted to know about the Nomads. Frankie was still missing and his wife was dead. I couldn't blame him for being pissed. I wanted to scream that Clay gave the hit, but I kept my mouth shut as I listened to Bobby hum along to the song playing.

I always loved listening to Bobby. I wasn't a huge Elvis fan, but he had a hell of a voice. Even just humming I could hear the soul he put forward into his songs. He stopped when he got up to aid Clay and Juice got snapped at by Roosevelt to follow him.

"Savannah, sneak around the corner and listen to what is being said."

I nodded at Clay and ignored Bobby's pissed off look. The guys hated when I was used for anything, even more so now that a few knew Clay was behind all of this. He had already gotten so many people killed, they didn't want me added into that number.

"You're gonna get me killed."

"That concern left me when I watched my wife die."

I considered sitting back and just listening, but I stepped forward and acted surprised. I didn't want them to think I was listening in.

"Savannah."

"Sherriff. Am I interrupting? I can-"

"No. I'd like to talk to you actually. Juice, go ahead."

He hesitated but I nodded and gave him a soft smile. He kissed the top of my head as he walked by and I followed the sheriff down the hallway to a bench.

"What can I help you with?"

"I know that you aren't privileged to much with the club, but do you know where Frankie is?"

"I wish I did. I was never close to them though. Always gave me the creeps. All three of them."

"They were always close to your father."

"I'm not exactly close to Clay either."

"Yeah I noticed that too."

"Your wife and child weren't the only blowback this club has had lately. I am so sorry the pain that you're going through."

"You wouldn't even begin to understand."

I stood up and pulled my shirt up enough to show the scar I now had from Jax shooting me.

"Jesus Christ. Who did that?"

"Doesn't matter."

I sat down and his eyes were still wide.

"I was pregnant when it happened though. I don't know that I was going to keep it or even if I was able to hold a pregnancy. I know the hole that it's left in me though. I don't know the exact pain you're going through, but I understand more than most."

"I had no idea. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Just know that my apology is coming straight from my heart. I'm not just trying to make you think I feel bad. I really do."

He nodded and let out a sigh.

"If you hear anything, you'll let me know?"

"Of course. Don't hesitate to come to me."

"Thank you, Savannah."

I nodded and watched him walk down the hallway. I felt like such a shitty person for not telling him that it was Clay. I wanted to so badly but I needed to stand behind Jax right then.

* * *

**I need to talk to you**

_What's wrong, Hap?_

**Just found out some shit**

_Are you okay?_

**Yeah, babe. I'm good. Got to shoot at some asshole so I'm great.**

_I'm rolling my eyes right now, just so you know._

**I figured. See you soon. Meet me at Diosa? Clay doesn't really go there.**

_Okay. Be safe._

**Always.**

* * *

My eyes were locked with Happy's. Two of the guys were already dead and the third had a gun pressed to my head. I could hear Jax trying to calm everyone down as Lyla cried on the couch. She had a nice bullet wound on her leg and I was sure I would have one to match soon. Frankie wanted money so he could get the hell out of town. They had already handed him a shit ton of money and the truck keys.

Frankie had already told Jax that it was Clay. We had locked eyes for a moment and now he knew or sure what I said was true.

"Please just let my sister go."

"No. She's my ticket out."

"If you harm one hair on her head." Happy growled.

"You better back off, Romeo. I'm gonna walk out of here with her and no one is going to follow me. If you come after me, I'll kill her."

He dragged me backwards and I looked back at Jax and Happy. I was getting really sick of seeing them so tormented. He dragged me to Nero's truck and tossed me into it.

"They're gonna find you."

"Shut up."

"And when they do."

"I said shut up!"

"I'm going to watch the light leave your eyes."

He glared at me before slamming his fist into my face. It hurt like a bitch as I felt my nose snap. My hand went up but when I saw the blood pouring out, I heard a laugh escape my lips.

"No wonder why you're with Happy. You're fucking crazy."

I laughed and shut my eyes. My head hurt like hell, but I knew that no matter what happened, this fucker was dead. We drove down the road until he stopped suddenly and dragged me out. There was an SUV parked in front of us but no one got out. He pushed me down on my knees and I heard the gun cock behind me head.

"Can't even look me in the eyes?"

"Shut up."

"Don't even know how you made it into SAMCRO. You low life coward. Beating and killing women. You're a piece of shit."

I turned to look at him, staying on my knees. I locked my eyes with him.

"If you're going to kill me, you better look me in the god damn eyes."

"I said shut up!"

I spit in his face and the last thing I saw was his hand, holding the pistol, come down on my head.

* * *

_"_ _SAVANNAH! Jesus Christ, Savannah! Wake up. Oh shit. C'mon sis. C'mon. CALL AN AMBULANCE!"_

_"_ _Is she alright?"_

_"_ _She's breathing. Her face is bleeding."_

_"_ _Aye. Looks like he broke her nose."_

_"_ _Mother FUCKER. Call Hap. Tell him to meet us at the hospital."_

_"_ _He's gonna want to kill him."_

_"_ _I know, brother. I know."_

* * *

I woke up to incredibly bright lights. I pulled my arm over my eyes and groaned.

"Why is it every time I wake up after violence the lights are always stupid bright?"

I heard quick steps and then the lights died down. The steps came back to me and I slowly pulled my arm down to see Happy.

"Hey babe."

"Hey honey."

"Hows your head?"

"It hurts like hell. Almost feels like some fucker punched me in the face and then pistol whipped me."

"I'm going to rip his fucking face off."

"How bad do I look?"

"You look pretty rough."

"Of course I do. My nose is broken. I felt it snap when he punched me."

"How's he look?"

"He said he totally understands why we're together?"

"Why?"

"I laughed at him when he shattered my face."

"That's my girl."

I smiled at him and loved the grin on his face.

"I thought I was gonna die, Hap."

"I'm so sorry."

"Just wish all this shit would end."

"I know, babe. I know."

He held my hand and stared at it.

"I was scared today, Savannah."

"I-"

"Let me talk. You know I'm not good at this shit."

I nodded and squeezed his hand.

"I was so scared I was going to never see you again. I know we aren't.. I don't know what we are. I know what I feel though. I know that I've never been afraid of losing someone the way I fear losin' you. You're an incredible woman, Savannah. I have been one stupid ass fucker towards you and yet.. for some reason.. you look at me like I could save the world."

"Not to sound too mushy, but you've saved my world more times than I can remember."

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too, Hap."

He leaned forward and kissed my forehead. He lingered there, keeping his hand on the side of my face before sitting back down.

"Hey, Savannah?"

"Yeah?"

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me and take my last name. Move in with me and live this crazy ass life with me. As my wife."

"Hap, do you know what you're asking me?"

"I'm asking you to fucking marry me. How hard did he hit your head?"

I laughed out and groaned from the sheer volume of it. He was glaring at me.

"I'm sorry. I just.. I never thought you would ever ask me that."

"You doubting me? I wanted you to take my crow."

"No. No. Not at all. I know you don't ever say anything you don't mean."

"That mean you're saying yes?"

"Yes, Happy Lowman."

"Yes, Happy Lowman what."

"Yes, I will marry you."

"And."

"And take your last name."

"Good."

"We gotta wait though. Clay can't know until Jax knows."

"I'll send him in so you can talk. Then we will figure it out okay?"

His voice was still gruff but he kissed my lips softly.

"Heal up quick. I'll take it easy on you for a little while. But, woman, when you say I do I plan on giving you the night of your life."

I bit my bottom lip as he kissed the top of my head and walked out of the room.

* * *

I looked over as Jax walked into the room. He had a soft smile and his normal Teller swag in his walk. He walked right over and kissed the top of my head before sitting on the edge of my bed.

"How ya feeling?"

"Like I got pistol whipped."

"I am so sorry."

"How is Lyla?"

"She's alright. Gonna be in a wheelchair for a while."

"We need to take care of her, Jax. It isn't just her anymore. She's taking care of Ope's kids."

"I know, sis. I know. It's handled."

"Alright. How is Tara?"

"She's alright. Gemma can never be around the kids though."

"You found out."

"You knew?"

"Heard Clay talking to her after you left. Didn't have much of a chance to talk to you though."

"I know."

"I'll try talking to her."

"When did you step up and become queen of SAMCRO?"

"I'm not. I'm just the rational one in the group."

He laughed and ran his hands through his hair.

"You have a point."

"I gotta talk to you about something, Jax."

"Whats up?"

"Hap asked me to marry him."

"No shit. Really?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you say?"

"I said yeah."

"Well, shit. You're gonna tie down the Killer."

"Problem is, it can't happen until Clay-"

"Frankie all but told us. I have to prove it but I want you out of the issue. You live your life now Savannah. You've taken enough heat for this club."

"You're sure?"

"Absolutely. I'll take care of him tonight. Gonna tell him about Gemma and the fact that Tara cut her out. I'll let him know I don't trust him and you're upset too. I'll tell him you're moving in with me. You're gonna need Tara to help you out for a while anyway."

"I hate the fact I don't have my own place to go home to. Bouncing around is crazy."

"Well marrying Hap will be giving you a home. We'll get you there, sis."

I nodded and gave him a soft smile.

"I figured you were going to need me hide this for a while."

"Hiding love isn't easy. I don't want that life for you."

He kissed the top of my head and walked out as the nurses walked in. I was ready to go home but considering the major headache I had, I knew I wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

* * *

"So is this the future Mrs. Lowman I have been hearing of?"

I looked up to see a smiling Tara in the doorway. I smiled back at her, ignoring the pain in my face.

"How's Abel and Thomas?"

"They're great. Abel should be home soon."

"Oh, that's so good to hear. Now hopefully I get home soon too."

"Just talked to your doctor and they're letting you go home now. I offered to come in and take your machines off."

"I'd ask you to marry me but you're already my sister."

She laughed and shook her head. It was good to see her smiling again. I missed the happy Tara I had gotten used to.

"I'm gonna need to call someone to come get me. No way walking home would be a good idea."

"I can give you a ride home. I think the guys are taking off soon. You can see your man before they take off."

"You don't mind?"

"Of course not."

* * *

We pulled into the parking lot just as all the guys were getting ready to take off. Everyone cheered when they saw me but the loud voices made me cringe. I looked over at Clay and he nodded at me. I took that as him knowing about me not wanting much to do with him. Chibs ran over and pulled me into his arms, careful to keep his shoulder from smashing my face.

"Lass, we were so worried."

"I know, Chibby. I'm okay though."

"Usually it's me getting dragged out by the bad guys."

"You're welcome."

He laughed and kissed my forehead, just below were a huge stapled line was. Happy was right when he said I looked rough. I looked behind him and saw that Hap was looking at me with his arms crossed. Everyone acted like they were concerned, but really, Clay was the only one who didn't know about the engagement.

"Can we talk?" He growled.

I nodded and followed him inside. I saw Clay start to walk towards us but Jax stopped him.

"Let it go, Clay. She doesn't want you around."

I followed Happy down the hallway and to his room. He gently shut the door behind him and grabbed each side of my face, checking out my nose and stapled forehead.

"How you feeling?"

"Same as before. Lights and noise hurt."

"You sure you're good to be out?"

"Yeah. I'm gonna stay with Tara for a bit. Figured it wouldn't hurt to have a doctor around and that way I can help with Abel if she needs it."

"Sounds like a good idea. We're making a run up to find Frankie."

"Good. Fuck that guy."

Happy laughed and pulled me gently into his chest. I shut my eyes, always being taken back when he was gentle with me. I loved the man for who he was, but his gentle side was something I wasn't sure I would ever get used to. How a man can be so hard on the outside yet so soft for me was beyond understanding.

"I got something for you though."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm."

He pulled out two ring. They was gorgeous. It was a sterling silver set with an absolutely huge diamond on it. Around the diamond were good sized rubies and the band that matched it had rubies all over it as well.

"Oh my god, Hap."

"You like it?"

"I love it. You didn't need to get me a big ring though."

"Sure I did. Wanna do this right. Since you don't have my crow yet, need something to let everyone know you're mine."

"I think I'm psychotic enough that everyone knows."

He laughed and nodded. He slipped the ring on my finger and kissed my hand.

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too, Happy."

He kissed my lips gently before walking out of the room. I followed out behind him, sticking my hands in my hoodie pockets to hide my hand. No one needed to deal with Clay being an asshole, not when they were going to find Frankie. I walked out and watched them all get on their bikes and roll out. There was something moving about seeing them all going, not knowing if all of them would come back.

* * *

I had been at Jax's all day taking care of the kids while Tara was at work. They had found Frankie, but his own actions got him killed before they could prove Clay set up the whole thing. It was frustrating, but at least I didn't have to play like I was Clay's best friend anymore. Tara has spotted my ring as soon as the guys left and marveled over it. It really was a gorgeous ring. Tara was in taking a shower and Jax had something he had to go do. He reached over and pulled my hand up, looking at the ring as well.

"Damn."

"Yeah. Tell me about it."

"Kind of hard to hide that, huh?"

"He said since I don't have his crow yet I need to have something to show I'm his."

"Never took him as being so damn possessive."

"You have no idea."

He chuckled and plopped back on the couch next to me.

"I asked him to come over while I'm gone."

"Okay. Anything wrong?"

"No but I needed it to look like I was doing it for a reason. Don't want Clay to know we totally tricked his old ass."

"That makes sense. I'm sure he wasn't thrilled that it was Happy though."

"Nah he tried to send Chibs over but he made some lame excuse about wanting to read a new book or something."

"No, he probably did want to read."

"Yeah you're right there. You doing okay?"

"Yeah, Jax. I'm good. Why?"

"Been through a lot the past few years."

"That is true. I think I'll be okay though."

"Good. I have mom going back to Clay."

"What? Why?"

"He'll tell her shit. I need someone on the inside and I won't keep putting you in danger."

"I could have stayed there, Jax. I know Tara wants nothing to do with her."

"She agreed to all of it. Gemma has her own demons she needs to make amends for."

"Suppose you're right on that one."

"I know I'm right on that one."

"Oh, shut up Jaxson."

"Yes, little sister."

I laughed and hit his arm. We both looked back at the door to see Happy walking in. Jax stood up and pulled him into a half hug before walking down the hallway to say goodbye to Tara. I went to stand up, but he motioned for me to stay put.

"Relax."

"My face is broken. That doesn't make me incapable."

"I know. Just stay sitting down though. I'm tired. I want to sit down."

I laughed and pat the couch next to me. He sat down and immediately pulled me onto his lap and into his arms. He kissed my cheek and sighed.

"I missed you today."

"Missed you too, babe."

"Sorry shit went sideways with Frankie."

"I'm just sad I didn't get to put a bullet in between his eyes."

"I know, Hap."

"Let's get married."

"You already asked me."

"No, let's get married like tomorrow."

"Happy that is absolutely no planning."

"So?"

"Don't you want me in a dress and have everyone there?"

"You can wear a dress and we can all pile into the courthouse."

"Are you serious?"

"Jax got married in a brothel. At least ours will be in a courthouse."

"I'm just a little surprised you want to get married so quickly."

"I know what I want."

"To be endlessly tied down to me?"

"I want you, smartass."

We both laughed and I kept looking into his eyes, almost as if I thought he would give away that he was lying or kidding about the whole thing.

"My face is seriously fucked up though, Happy. Our wedding pictures will forever show this."

"Isn't that why they made makeup?"

"I don't think makeup was invented to cover up bruises from random bikers, no. And I don't know that any makeup can cover this shit."

"Well, try. Cause we're getting married tomorrow afternoon. Alright?"

I nodded and leaned into him, stopping my mind from racing. I knew that I wanted to marry him. I knew that he was the only person I wanted to be with for the rest of my life, no matter how short or long my life may be. I felt his breathing even out as he fell asleep just as Jax walked by to leave. He smiled at me and I returned it, hoping that everything would be okay.


	25. You See The World In Ways I Can't

I woke up to Tara walking into the kitchen. She just looked like she was aimlessly walking around. I got up carefully, making sure not to wake Happy. She jumped when she turned around to me standing in the doorway.

"Oh, you scared me so much."

"Sorry. I am staying here though."

"Yeah. I guess I just forgot. Hap still here?"

"Sleeping on the couch."

"Ah."

"You alright?"

"Honestly? No. I feel like I'm going to lose it."

"Tara. You can't keep holding all of this in. I'm here. I'm not gonna run to Gemma or Jax when you talk to me. I know you need to have someone there for you."

"Ya know, I think I always felt like I had that in Gemma. Lately I just feel so damn alone."

"No one can blame you there, Tara. You've been through so much. Talk to me."

I sat down at her table and with a huff, she sat down across from me.

"I feel so lost. The deeper Jax gets into the club the deeper it pulls me."

"Ask Jax to keep you out of it a bit. Obviously, you can't ever be totally free of the Reaper but you don't need to be in the shit."

"I've been going to see Otto."

"That is a really bad idea."

"I know it is. I just.. I want that damn case gone."

"We can figure out a way to do that without putting you near him. He has lost a lot, Tara. He loves the club but he would take everyone down with him."

"You really think so?"

"Yes. I watched Clay do it. Tara you need to stop seeing him."

"It's the only way in."

"It's not your responsibility. Listen, Tara, I know that you're afraid of Jax going in. I'm afraid of Happy leaving me too. Trust me. My whole world is in this house right now. You, the boys, Jax, Happy.. Everything is right here. I'm so afraid of it being ripped away. But we need to stay safe. Those guys depend on us. They love us and we are what keeps them coming home. We give them a purpose. We're not just a warm bed for them."

Tara had tears in her eyes and she nodded.

"Don't let the shit with Gemma rip your head up. You're different than Gemma. WE are different than Gemma. There has to be a way that we can balance loving these men without losing ourselves in it. We have to, and we will. Okay?"

"How did I get so lucky that you are Jax's sister?"

"I think that's the one thing you can thank Gemma for."

We both laughed but she still seemed so sad. I reached across and took her hand.

"Tara, lean on me. I mean it. Lean on me and know that I'm here for you. Please don't make me start signing that damn song cause it will be stuck in both of our heads for days."

She laughed and this time it was genuine.

"You really think I should stay away from Otto?"

"Yes. I really do. I don't know him. Like at all. But I know the kind of man he is and he's broken. I see it in Clay. Please protect yourself and your family."

She nodded and squeezed my hand.

"Thank you, Savannah."

"Never a problem, Tara. I love you."

"Love you too."

She got up and walked down the hallway. I watched her hesitate at Thomas' room, but ended up going down the hallway to her own bedroom. I looked over to see Happy looking at me.

"You need someone to talk to too, ya know."

"You been awake this whole time?"

"Come here."

I walked over and squeaked out a laugh as he pulled me down on top of him.

"Gemma isn't a bad person you know."

"I know. She's lost."

"Very. I see a lot of her in you though. That calm collected strong woman that she used to be is still in you. Must be the blood or something since she didn't raise you."

"I've always been the one people could lean on. I know you didn't really ever see that."

"I saw it."

"How? I was so damn broken when you found me."

"Doesn't mean I didn't see who you really are. If anything, I saw it more."

"How do you figure that?"

"You see a lot in the eyes of a person who's afraid to die. You can see all their fears but also their strengths. You were begging Jax not to kill Adam even though he had just beaten you. That says a lot about your character."

"I was weak."

"No. You were strong. Always have been."

"I don't see how you see it that way."

He sighed in frustration.

"What is the natural thing when someone hurts you?"

"To want to hurt them back."

"Right."

"So then I'm just weird."

"No. You're strong. You would rather hurt than have anyone else hurt. How does that make you weak?"

"You kill people for a living. You say that you're weak?"

"No. I'm the toughest asshole you'll ever meet. Remember that."

He growled playfully in my ear, causing me to laugh.

"How did someone who kills for a living ever fall or someone who cherishes life?"

"It's different. You're different. You see the world in ways I can't. I love it."

"I love you, Hap."

"I love you too, Savannah. Now get some sleep before I take advantage of you or strangle you for not listening."

I laughed and nestled my face into his chest. I felt him wrap his arms around me and let sleep finally take me.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to Abel jumping on me. I heard Happy grunt underneath me so I quickly pulled myself and the small boy down to the floor with a laugh. I looked over to see Juice walk in just as Happy rolled towards the back of the couch. He smiled nervously at me and came over to sit down.

"I'm gonna go wake Jax up." Tara commented quickly as she walked by.

"You aren't still going today are you?"

"I am, but I won't see Otto."

"Okay. Good."

She smiled and walked down the hallway as Juice started playing with Abel's toys.

"You alright Juice?"

"Uh. Yeah. Just need to talk to Jax."

"Okay."

After a few minutes Jax walked down and said good morning to all of us, but continued right into the kitchen. Juice followed him. I continued playing with Abel but tilt myself so I could hear what was being said.

"Want some coffee?"

"No. I'm good."

"So what's going on?"

"I know you know. Eli told me. Hoping that I would split."

I could hear Jax making his coffee but no other sounds.

"I got no place to go, Jax. No friends. No family. Things would turn to shit right away."

"I know about the leverage. Chibs."

"Shit. He knows."

"Him and Bobby. Why didn't you tell me?

"Feds had us on RICO. Wanted the cartel and Irish more than us. Said if I gave them intel on the guns and the coke.. they would only take the sons at the buy. Leave the rest of the MC intact. I was just trying to protect the club."

More silence but I could hear the emotion in Juice's voice.

"Miles didn't steal the coke, did he? He caught you."

"It was an accident."

"Shut up!"

There was a long pause until I heard Jax sigh. I got up and stood just on the outside of the kitchen. Jax made eye contact with me for a second but went back to Juice.

"Do you want you earn your way back in? A pardon?"

"What does that mean?"

"It means you do everything I tell you to do. And I make sure your betrayal never hits the table. It stays between us."

"Yes. Of course. The club is all I got. You know that. Just tell me what you need me to do."

"Clay. He was the one behind the nomads. Set shit on fire to sabotage my leadership. Rita's murder. All of it happened because of Clay."

"Shit."

"What?"

"Frankie tried to tell me that."

"Tell you what?"

"He said that Clay was behind the break ins. They stole his safe but gave the legal shit back to Clay."

"You're going to find those documents Juice. It's going to prove Frankie was right. I know you're close but he's poison and you don't know the half of it."

"Jesus Christ Jax. He knows about me. Put it together."

"When?"

"Couple of days ago."

"It's a simple choice. Help me or you lose your patch. And I think you know what killing another member gets you."

"I don't know.."

I stepped into the kitchen and shot Jax a glance. He nodded and started sipping on his coffee.

"Juice. I was there when the nomads got back to Clays house. It was the night that Happy and I got in that huge fight. It was all staged. They came in and Clay flipped out because they weren't supposed to kill Rita. He knew about all of it. He wanted it all to happen."

"You heard it all?"

"Yeah."

I walked over and knelt down in front of him.

"Please Juice. Clay is dangerous. He would kill any of us in a heartbeat. You know that. Deep down you have to know that. He tried to have me killed when he attacked Tara."

"Shit."

"Juice. We need your help. You're the only one that is close to him."

He had tears in his eyes as he listened to me beg him. I heard footsteps and saw Happy standing in the doorway with his arms crossed. He nodded at me and Juice looked at Jax.

"Alright. I'll do it."

* * *

Jax had head out a few hours before. I was spending the morning with Abel and Happy. His phone went off and he hopped up to grab his cut.

"What's wrong?"

"They found that guy that killed Ope."

"What?"

"He just got out of jail. Gonna go find him."

I stood there in silence as I watched him get his stuff together.

"You okay?"

"I uh. I don't know."

Rita walked in the door and Abel ran to her. I looked back at Happy and he grabbed my hoodie, tossing it to me.

"Come on. You'll ride with me then sit with the prospects."

"You sure Jax will be okay with this?"

"You need closure, babe."

"What about the wedding?"

"It's gonna have to wait."

I nodded and followed him out the door. We hopped on the bike and sped towards Oakland. The whole way there, my mind was racing. It was very possible that I could come face to face with the man that killed Opie. I had no idea how to feel about it. On one hand, I wanted him to suffer. But there was also this huge part of me that wanted to see some type of kindness in him that was a redemption. Maybe he was just doing what he had to do to survive. We rolled up to see Jax and the rest of the guys talking to the prospects. Jax spotted me and looked pissed.

"She can sit in the truck, Jax."

"No. Might be better to take her in with us. It's a bar. Make it look like we aren't looking for trouble."

I nodded and pulled my hoodie off, tossing it in the truck. I took my hair down and wiped the makeup off my bruised up face. Jax looked at me like he was trying to figure out what I was doing.

"I'm with bikers. Gotta look trashy."

He laughed and started walking away. Happy tossed his arm across my shoulders as we walked towards the bar. The guys and I circled around the back and they all started swearing.

"What's wrong?"

"We know these guys."

"Bad?"

"No. Friends."

We walked inside and a shorter man walked up to talk to Jax. Happy and I sat down at a table and pretended like we weren't listening in. We could hear them talking about the fact that he hired the Grimm Bastards as protection. Then apparently it was the mans cousin.

"Sorry we couldn't get married today."

"What?"

"You heard me, woman."

"We're here trying to kill a guy and you're talking about marriage?"

"Yep."

"Shouldn't you be paying attention?"

"There is a mirror behind you. I can read their lips. It's all good."

I looked at him but before I could say anything, he was throwing me to the ground and a gun shot rang out.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

I watched him and the rest of the guys get up and run after the large man. Happy was in front but I couldn't focus on that. One of the guys from the Bastards has been shot. I scrambled over to him and put pressure on his wound.

"Are you an angel?"

"Oh shut up. Just let me put pressure on this. You don't need to be bleeding out in this bar."

He laughed but quickly stopped. I could see he was in pain as I heard gunshots going on outside.

"That guy your man?"

"What? Yeah."

"And you're alright with him running out first?"

"It's his job."

We fell into a silence as one of the Bastards came over and took over for me. I walked outside just as the guys were heading towards their bikes. It looks like they had been knocked over and none of them were going to be thrilled. Happy turned the corner and turned as pale as a ghost when he saw the blood on me.

"Hap. It's okay. It isn't mine."

He walked over and checked me over. Once he was convinced it wasn't mine, he pulled me into his chest and kissed the top of my head.

"You saw him walk in?"

"Yeah. He had pointed that damn gun at you."

"Why does everyone want to shoot me?"

He laughed and put his arm over my shoulders protectively. We walked over the bikes where Jax and T.O. were arguing. The rest of the guys were picking up the bikes when we heard sirens. Happy walked me towards the truck and had me slip on the hoodie to hide all the blood on me. He walked over to help Jax and I quickly cleaned my hands off. They had come to some agreement but before T.O. walked away he called over to me.

"Hey. You."

"Yeah?"

"You save my guy in there?"

"I think he's gonna be okay. Was bleeding but it didn't seem to hit much."

"I owe you."

"No offense, I think I'd rather stay away. Your cousin was pointing that gun at me."

He nodded and followed his guys. Jax lightly punched me in the arm and laughed when I glared at him.

"Some wedding day this is, huh?"

Happy laughed and pulled me into a rough kiss.

"We'll get there babe."

"I know. Just ready to be Mrs. Lowman."

"And I'm ready to bang my wife."

I pushed him away and walked towards his bike, ready to get the hell out of there.

"Hap, stay close. Don't know how soon we will hear about him."

Happy nodded and hopped on his bike. I followed suit and we took off.

* * *

We were sitting at the park in the grass, talking for what seemed like ages. It was weird for us to really get out of Charming for more than just a quick trip. I was smiling at all the kids running by and their frazzled mothers chasing them.

"I never understood why mothers got so uptight about their kids having fun."

"What do you mean, babe?"

"Like some of those moms. They're acting like its horrible their kids are running around. Kids are supposed to run around and play. The more dirt the better. It's actually good for their immune system too."

"You'd be a great mom, ya know."

"Not sure that's in the cards for me."

"'Cause of what happened?"

"I guess between that and the life we lead."

"Jax does it."

"Barely."

"He still does though."

I agreed silently and went back to watching the kids. After a while I could feel Happy staring at me.

"What's going through your head, Hap?"

"I want a family."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"Since when?"

"Since now."

"You can't just decide one moment that you want a family." I laughed.

"Just did."

"Happy that is insane."

"Sitting here watching you with stars in your eyes did it, Savannah. I'd give you anything. Plus, having a mini me running around wouldn't be so bad."

"That's scary."

"What is?"

"A mini you. Not sure the world can handle two of you."

He laughed and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"We'll talk about it more once you're officially my wife."

"Oh, gotta do right and marry me first?"

"Figure I may as well do something right."

I smiled and rest my head on his shoulder. I was almost enjoying the moment until his phone went off.

"Jax found him. Time to go."

* * *

We rolled up to this old lot. Happy held back so we were behind everyone else. When we parked, he motioned for me to stay back. I saw the Bastards walk up and Jax started ragging on him about loyalty and friendship. It all seemed really tense. I wanted to step forward but figured I was safer back behind everyone. If that guy saw me again he would probably pull on me first, knowing my luck.

After a bit of a discussion, they all head towards the building. I crept forward, not wanting to be totally alone. The guy started to dart and Jax followed him. Happy was right on his tail along with Chibs. I went to move forward, but the prospect stopped me. I could hear yelling from inside the arena. When it got quiet I started to panic.

"It's gonna be fine."

"You don't know that, Rat."

"I know. I do know that. You can't go in there though."

"I hate this."

"I know, hun."

I heard a muffled gunshot then screaming. I ran past Rat and down the dock. All I could hear was my feet pounding down on the wood. I stopped dead in the doorway to see the man lying dead on the ground. T.O. and Jax were arguing. Happy walked over and stood in front of me, shielding my view of the man. I looked up at him but could feel my body shaking.

"Was that him? Was he the one who killed Opie?"

"Yeah."

"I want to see him."

He hesitated but stepped to the side. I walked forward but he was laying on his stomach. T.O. watched me and I stopped before he made a move.

"He was your cousin?"

"Yeah."

His voice was gruff, but he was trying to make it softer when he spoke to me.

"I'm sorry you lost someone you loved."

"Why do you even care?"

"I was.. I was with Opie when he died. It's a really long story, but he kept me alive with nothing else in the world could."

His face softened and he put his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm glad you had someone like that. And I'm sorry that my cousin helped cause you pain."

"Thank you for that."

I looked back at the man on the ground and walked back to Happy. He pulled me into him and we walked out together.

* * *

When we pulled into TM, there was a huge veil of tension throughout the air. Bobby was pissed and Jax didn't want to hear it.

"What you just did. You shit on 20 years of friendship. It hurts all of us."

"Yeah. Maybe you're right. But you didn't see the look of pleasure on that animals face when he CAVED IN OPIES SKULL."

I flinched when he said that, never really hearing the true story of what happened. I knew the guy killed him, but didn't want to imagine the truth of it. Jax sat down, followed by Chibs while everyone else walked inside after Bobby.

"We did what we had to do, Jackie."

"I know. Things are gonna get bloody, brother. Not sure Bobby will be able to roll with it. I need to know I have you in my corner."

Chibs got up and shook his head.

"I've always been there. And I always will. Come here."

Jax stood up and Chibs got in his face.

"I love you kid. Do you understand? I love you and your sister like you're my own. I'm going to get cleaned up."

Chibs walked inside and left me alone with Jax. He turned to look at me and his face fell.

"Savannah. I'm so sorry."

"He really did that? Smashed his head in?"

"Yeah."

"Did.. did he fight?"

"For a while. Then he just gave up."

I felt tears sting my eyes and Jax pulled me into a tight hug. I didn't let myself cry but I held onto him for dear life.

"When does it get easier?"

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"I love Happy. I do. But I miss Opie some days so bad it hurts."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing at all."

I nodded and looked down at my feet.

"You talk to Hap about this?"

"Yeah. He knows. That's part of the reason he took me today, I think."

"Wasn't a bad thing to have you there, I guess."

"Are things going to be okay with T.O.?"

"I don't know, honestly."

"I think I'm gonna go talk to Chibs. Make sure he's okay."

"I think that's a good idea, sis."

He kissed me on the side of the head before I walked inside, wanting to try to make everyone feel even a little bit better.

* * *

I knocked on Chibs' door twice before I heard him holler for me to come in.

"Chibs, it's me. Please be dressed."

I heard a chuckle and then the door opened. He was just pulling his shirt down. I gave him a smile and stepped in. I always loved his room. It was clean but had so much personality in it. He didn't leave trash or empty bottles all over. He just made sure it smelled like his cologne and had his Scottish flag hanging from the walls. I walked over and sat on the edge of his bed.

"Everything alright lass?"

"Did you mean what you said?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you said you think of me and Jax as your own?"

"Of course I do. I love ya both."

"Hap asked me to marry him."

"I heard. Plus I saw that giant rock on your finger."

He reached out for my hand and pulled it up close to his face before slipping his glasses on. He let out a whistle and looked at me.

"Spent a pretty penny on that, huh?"

"He won't tell me how much."

"Not surprised. That man loves ya."

"I don't doubt that at all."

"There a reason you're telling me this now?"

"I uh. I was wondering if you'd walk me down the aisle. I really don't want Clay there and even if he shows.. Chibs you've been more of a father to me than he ever has. If you're not com-"

"Come here ya crazy lass."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed the side of my face.

"I'd be honored to give ya away. When is it?"

"I don't really know. He wanted to today but.."

"Shit just happened."

"Yeah."

"Well, let me know. Can't promise ya more than what I have on now but I'll at least take a shower for ya."

I laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Chibs. I love you."

"Love ya too, lass."

* * *

I was curled up on the couch inside the clubhouse reading. I was glad to just be relaxing and not worrying about much. I always seemed to lose myself in my books. Let me escape the bullshit for a little while. Whenever I would look up I could see the guys acting normal and it made me feel good. I loved seeing the guys feelings comfortable where they should be. They all were joking and laughing. I rest my head back on the couch and just smiled.

I still remembered clearly the first time I walked in this clubhouse. I was bruised and battered. I honestly would have been happier to die than to stand in front of these men the way that I was. Now this was home.

I had found more comfort and kind words in a bikers clubhouse than I had ever found in the world surrounding it. These men were rough. They were killers. Yet for some reason the universe graced me with the opportunity to be considered family. I may have been brought in by blood, but the connection I felt with them was so much stronger than that.

I had all the faith in the world that each and every one of these men would love me and protect me with their life. Each relationship was different, but the end was the same. That Reaper protected me and any man who wore it would make sure of that. Funny how a place that held so much danger was nothing but peace to me.

I snapped out of my thoughts as my phone rang. I looked down to see Tara calling.

"Tara?"

"Savannah."

I could hear she was crying and shaking.

"Tara what happened?"

"I'm on my way home from Stockton. Can you please meet me at home?"

"Want me to get the boys?"

"NO. No. I'm sorry. Please I just need you. Don't tell Jax yet."

"Okay. I'll be there in a few."

I heard the line click and felt dread. My mind was racing as to what could have happened. I looked around for Happy but didn't see him. Tig was walking by and I stopped him.

"You busy?"

"Not really. Was gonna go yell at the prospects. Maybe throw some shit at them."

"Mind giving me a ride home?"

"To Haps?"

"No. Jaxs place. That's where I've been staying."

"Yeah, sure doll. Let's go."

I followed him out but kept my cool. The whole way there I wanted to scream at him to hurry up, but I knew that would be a one way ticket to getting the whole club over to Tara. We pulled up to the house and I hopped off, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. He nodded and drove off. Before I could open the door, Tara had swung it up and flung her arms around me.

"Tara are you okay?"

"No."

She was sobbing at this point, so I walked her over to the couch.

"What's wrong?"

"I went into Stockton today."

"Okay?"

"I didn't want to see Otto. I asked the other doctor to see him since he was trying to keep up the rouse of being sick."

"Alright."

"He asked for the guard to come in when it wasn't me. He killed the nurse!"

"Shit."

"He told the guards to give me a message."

"What did he say?"

"He said "Tell the good doctor that SAMCRO lives, but Redwood bleeds." And then told them that I should have changed my name to Teller."

"Oh, shit."

"Yeah. They came to me and started digging in. Found out I'm married to Jax. Said they could go after me for my license!"

"Tara, it could have been so much worse than that. What did he want from you before?"

"He wanted me to bring him a crucifix that was his wifes."

"I bet my life that he was going to kill the nurse with that. Then it would have been a murder charge."

"Seriously?" She squeaked.

"We will deal with the lying about your affiliation. That's a minor charge. Maybe a temporary suspension. Tara you just lucked out. You could have gone away for a long long time."

She started crying even harder and I pulled her into my arms. We sat and talked for what seemed like hours before Jax got home. We had talked about the offer she got to another hospital. She talked about how amazing it would be, but in the end she knew her heart was here in Charming.

"Tara!"

"In here."

I answered for her since Tara was still crying. If anything it got worse when Jax got home.

"How did it go today? What's wrong?"

"Well, the statement was reversed."

"What happened?"

"He killed a nurse. Brutally. Now the feds have to throw out the testimony."

"Jesus, babe. He did that with you there?"

"No. I was in the other room. He had wanted me to bring a crucifix to him but I didn't. I stayed away from him. He had it all planned. He saved the MC but he needed to hurt you."

"He wasn't able to though."

"He told them who I am. They're going after me because I lied about who I am."

"Shit. Babe, you aren't an accessory though. This is bad but we're gonna get through this like we do everything else."

She nodded and let out a sigh.

"I'm gonna go take a shower."

Jax nodded at her and kissed her hand as she walked away. He looked back at me.

"She call you?"

"Yeah. She was flipping out and afraid of what you would say."

"This could have been so much worse, Savnnah."

"I know. I told her not to go. I told her not to bring anything to him. I didn't trust him at all."

"Thank you. I can't even begin to thank you enough."

"She got an offer to Providence Hospital."

"Shit."

"She doesn't want to go."

"Seriously?"

"Her heart is here, Jax. She's all in."

"What the hell changed that."

"You being there for her. Me being here for her. She doesn't feel like she needs to run. She doesn't feel alone."

He nodded and ran his hands through his hair.

"Savannah, I think you just saved my marriage. Maybe even her life."

"It's what I do."

I smirked at him and he laughed.

"I'm so glad you're here, sis. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

"Love ya, Jax."

He squeezed my hand before getting up to follow Tara. I sighed and curled up on the couch. I was happy to know that my intuition was dead on, again. This wasn't going to be great for Tara, but it could have been the worst. She could be going in for an accessory charge. She barely can handle the club, let alone being a jail bird. That was much more Jax's shtick. Tara would snap under that kind of pressure and it would mean disaster for everyone.

* * *

I had gotten a text from Happy letting me know that the opening of Diosa was that morning. He always acted so weird about it. I had tried asking him why he acted odd whenever they talked about the escorts, but he refused to talk about it. I figured he had banged half of them, but as long as it was past tense I really didn't care. We both had our pasts and there was no way I could punish him for his.

What Happy didn't know, was I was already on my way up there. Lyla has asked me to help her get ready. She had the nice wheelchair and bullet wound accessory. When I walked in, she looked so excited.

"Savannah!"

"Hey sweetheart, how are you?"

"Much better now that you're here! I have no idea how I'm going to look sexy in this damn wheelchair."

"Well, let me see what outfits you have."

"We have all the stuff from Cara Cara. All that is left anyway."

I started rifling through the outfits and found a nurse one. It had a leg garter that was just big enough to cover her wound. I turned around with it and she smirked.

"See! This is why I called you! You're so friggen smart! You should help the girls dress here."

"I'm just here helping a friend."

"We'll see. You should be like a fashion designer or something."

I laughed out.

"I'm holding onto an old porn outfit in a brothel. I'm sure that would look great on my resume."

She laughed as I helped her slip on the outfit. I wheeled her over to the vanity and did her hair as she did her makeup. I looked at her and loved seeing a smile on her face. She looked so sad all the time but here, she looked beautiful.

"That's for asking me to come up here, Lyla."

"I've missed you, Savannah. I know shits been crazy but I always like having you around."

"Well, I'll have to come around more often."

She smiled at me and looked in the mirror.

"Wow. I almost look classy."

"You always look classy, sweetheart."

I put my hand on her shoulder and she placed her hand over it.

"The guys should be here. Mind wheeling me out?"

"Sure thing."

"Oh, wait! You need to get changed. I bought a dress for you."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes! It's in the closet. In a bag."

I walked over and pulled out a bag. In it was a gorgeous black dress. It was a thick strap on one shoulder and it wrapped around to stay off the other one. It would come to just barely below my ass and skin tight. I looked over at Lyla and she smirked at me.

"You deserve a day to look and feel sexy, Savannah. Now put it on and I'll do your makeup real quick."

I got myself into the dress and felt ridiculous. I don't think I had worn a dress this short or tight ever in my life. Lyla had pulled my hair down and put some stuff in it to make the curls softer. I shut my eyes and let her do my makeup without any complaining. I figured it would be easier to just go along with it rather than fight with her.

"Alright, open your eyes."

I opened them and barely recognized myself. She hadn't put much makeup on me, but boy did it compliment my face. I was afraid that she would make me look like a prostitute, but I actually looked pretty classy. I felt a smile spread across my face and heard her laugh in joy.

"Yay! You love it! Now lets go!"

* * *

I took a deep breath before pushing her out into the lobby. There were women everywhere. They all were dressed in fancy clothes and looked nice. Now I understood why she wanted me to dress this way. I spotted Jax and he smiled as he saw Lyla being pushed up. He glanced up at me and did a double take.

"Woah."

I felt my cheeks turn red as Jax went back to Lyla and kissed her on the cheek.

"How ya feeling darlin'?"

"I'm good. Nero takes good care of me."

He looked back at me and smirked.

"And who are you?"

I shook my head and laughed.

"Hold on, think I have someone for ya."

I noticed that Bobby was smiling at me and glancing over at Happy. He was looking around but wasn't taking much interest in anyone. Jax walked up to him.

"Hey, I got someone I want you to meet."

"Nah, Jax. I'm just staying for a bit then I'm gonna go hang out with Savannah."

"No, really. I insist."

"Jax. No. I'm with your fucking sister for Christ sake."

"Your president is telling you to do something."

I saw him roll his jaw but he followed Jax over. He looked everywhere but at me.

"Here she is, Happy."

"Not interested."

He was looking over at the other guys talking to different women. One of the guys had three women sitting on him somehow. Jax motioned for me to come over so I walked over and stood to the side of Happy. I ran my hand up his chest and felt him stiffen up. He had absolutely no idea it was me.

"Aww, c'mon bad boy. You're telling me there's some woman better than me?"

He whipped his head towards me and took a step back.

"Savannah?"

"Don't recognize your own fiancé?"

His eyes about popped out of his head before he grabbed my wrist and whisked me away to a back room. The first room had a guy in it so he moved quickly to the next. I heard Jax laughing along with Chibs and Bobby but didn't have much of a chance to laugh with them. He pushed me in and slammed the door behind him.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Lyla needed-"

He crashed his lips against mine and pushed me backwards towards the wall.

"Why are you dressed like that?"

"Lyla got it for me so I didn't stick out."

"You aren't working here are you?"

"No! Good lord no! I'm just here to help Lyla today."

"Jax tried to trick me."

"Have to say, I'm pretty impressed. You wouldn't even look at me."

"Don't want anyone but you."

I pulled his face down to mine and took his bottom lip between my teeth. I smirked when I heard the low growl escape him.

"Then why aren't you taking me?"

He hesitated for a moment, but then lifted me up, letting me wrap my legs around his waist. He pushed me hard against the wall and bit down on my neck. I let out a loud moan.

"You sure you want this?"

"I know better than to dress like this around you and not want it."

"We could get another call saying we have to leave."

"You're the one that would end up with blue balls on that one."

"Too late."

He kept me pinned against the wall as he undid his jeans and let them fall to his ankles. I heard him curse under this breath.

"Don't worry about it. I got on birth control about a month ago. We're good."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Before I could even finish responding to him, he was slamming himself into me. I buried my face into his shoulder, not wanting the whole building to hear me scream out.

"Jesus Christ, Savannah."

I panted out a laugh until he stared roughly moving in and out of me. I fought to keep my composure, but in all honesty my eyes were rolling into the back of my head. It had been a long time and way too long of a build up for us. It had been hard being so close to him and not letting him take me like this, but no time ever felt right. I tried to bring up the fact we were fucking in a brothel, but the pleasure was starting to cloud my head. I quickly felt my climax coming.

"Let go, Savannah."

I nodded into his shoulder and let myself completely feel everything. His rough hands on my hips and the heat coming off his toned body was driving me wild. Just as I felt his teeth sink into my neck again, I lost it. I think it was the hardest I have ever climaxed and he pounded into me as I rode it out. Just as I thought he was going to finish, he walked over to the table and set me down on it.

"You aren't done?"

"No." he grunted.

He roughly flipped me over so I was draped across the table and slammed back into me. I gripped the edge of the table and lifted my head up, looking back at him. He had his eyes glued on me and his hands roughly gripped my hips. I looked back forward and felt his hand tangle in my hair and yank me back. I screamed out at the pain and felt another climax rip through me unexpectedly.

"That's it, Savannah. Cum for me."

By that point, my whole body was shaking. I tried to hold myself up but between him slamming into me and my arms being too weak, I just laid across the table. After a few more thrusts I felt him empty himself deep inside of me, causing another small climax to wash over me. I felt his hands move to each side of me as he gently kissed my back a few times. I tried to slow my breathing down, but it wasn't working. He slipped out of me and pulled me up into his arms. My legs were still shaking and I felt him laugh.

"You alright, babe?"

"I don't know if I can walk."

"Good. I'll go get Lyla's wheelchair."

I slapped his arm and stumbled over to the bathroom to clean myself up. I heard him pull his pants back up and redo his belt. After a few minutes, he walked into the bathroom to see me trying to tame my wild hair. My makeup was a little smudged but it was easily fixed. With a little water, I was able to get my hair to lay flatter and pulled my dress back into its proper place.

"Well, I guess I know how to get you going now."

"I've been going for months, Savannah."

"What do you mean?"

"Think it was easy lying in bed with you?"

"I don't know. Always figured you looked at me as a burden."

He pulled me into him and kissed me, softer this time.

"You're never a burden, babe. I love you."

"I love you too, Hap."

"Alright. Let's get out there."

"They're gonna know."

"That two people who are together fucked? Okay? Also look at where we are. People fuck her all the time."

"Ugh. I need a shower."

He laughed and shook his head. Before I could walk out, he took my hand. I smiled knowing that everyone around would always know we belonged to each other.


	26. I'm Trying

I was back at the clubhouse when Clay walked in. He looked at me and I figured he would walk away. I went back to my book and the noticed he was standing right in front of me.

"Can we talk?"

I sighed and set the book down. He took that as an okay and sat down in front of me.

"Look, I know I can't fix this shit between the two of us."

I continued to look at him.

"I fucked up, Savannah. I know I did."

"You tried to have me killed. You killed Donna, Piney and as far as I see it my unborn child. You tried to break me and Happy up and lied to Jax about Gemma almost killing the boys."

"I know."

"Dad, look. You're always going to be my father. But the fact of the matter is I don't trust you. Am I supposed to just accept that you wanted me dead and play happy family?"

"No. I don't really know how anyone could think that way."

"Then what is this about?"

He handed me a gun in a plastic bag. The more I looked at it the more I realized that it was the one I killed Adam with.

"What is this?"

"I had kept it. I didn't touch it after you did. I had wiped it clean before I ever handed it to you."

"So you have a weapon that has killed people with my fingerprints on it."

"Yeah."

"You son of a bitch!"

"I'm giving it to you for a reason. Hear me out."

I was seeing red, but I didn't bolt like I wanted to.

"It's yours now. I don't know how long I'm going to be in the club. I'm trying to prove to you that you can trust me. That leverage is yours now. I can't use it against you. I won't. I just want to create some type of relationship with you before everything blows up."

I went silent but tucked the gun in my bag. I would have Jax or Happy get rid of it later.

"I'm furious, Clay."

"I know."

"But I appreciate your honesty. So now I'm going to be honest. Happy and I worked shit out. We're getting married soon."

"Wow. Congratulations."

"You aren't walking me down the aisle. But you can be there if you want to be. That's up to you."

He looked sad but nodded.

"I understand. Thank you for even letting me be there."

I nodded and tried to find a way to end the conversation, but I heard a car pulling it. We looked over to see Happy walking in, with blood all over him. I hopped up and ran to him. He held his hands up.

"I'm alright. Just nicked me."

"Who the fuck shot you?"

I looked over at Tig and he loudly objected.

"Why would you think it was me!?"

"Because you're fucking nuts!"

Everyone laughed and Happy pulled me over to the table that Chibs was setting his medical equipment on.

"Are you okay?"

"Honestly? I am about ready to bend you over this table."

"Oi! Not in front of me you aren't!" Chibs exclaimed.

I laughed and felt my face go flush. I helped Chibs get him patched up and Gemma sat with me, wanting to hear about the shootout. Apparently, Nero had pissed off his old gang and they tried to kill Jax and the guys. I noticed that Gemma saw my finger, but I shook my head no. I would talk to her later. Clay asked for Jax to talk to him and after a bit of persuasion, he went with him. I locked eyes with Happy and he nodded.

"Alright you two, spill about that pretty little rock on my daughter's finger."

Happy smirked and locked eyes with me again.

"We're getting married, Gem." He responded.

She looked at me and took my hand in hers. She looked at the rings and shook her head.

"So now both kids decide to get hitched and not tell me?"

"I haven't really seen you, mom."

"Could have called."

"Didn't think it was a phone call kind of conversation."

"I guess so. So when?"

"I wanted yesterday but some shit went down." Happy replied.

"That quick?"

"Yep."

He was keeping his eyes locked on me as I squirmed. I knew how to talk to Gemma and this was not the best way.

"Can I talk to you outside, mom?"

"Yeah. You good Chibs?"

"Aye. Almost done."

I got up but before I could walk by Happy grabbed my arm and pulled me down into a kiss.

"I love you."

"I love you too, asshole."

He chuckled and let go of my arm. I walked outside and Gemma lit up a cigarette.

"You're that mad at me that you wouldn't tell me you're getting married."

"It isn't that, mom."

"What is it then?"

"Remember that huge play when I got in that fight with Happy? Clay can't know that was a fucking lie."

"That is really the only reason you didn't tell me?"

"Yes. You are more than welcome, whenever it is."

"Alright. You happy?"

"Very."

"Good."

"You doing okay mom?"

"Yeah. Yeah I'll be okay."

I nodded and looked over at the garage.

"You wanna help me figure this shit out? He wants to just go to the courthouse. It doesn't need to be big but maybe we can do it here or something."

"Yeah, baby. Just let me know when you want to do this and I'll have it ready."

"Thanks mom. Love you."

"I love you too, baby."

* * *

Happy picked me up that night and we went to Clays. Tonight was the night we were going to bring forth all the proof that we had against him. Tonight was the night Clay was going to die. We rode on his bike towards Clays, knowing that all the guys were there already. We pulled in the driveway and walked inside.

"They were here, Jax. Birth cirtificates. All that shit."

"What shit?" Bobby growled.

We walked in the door but stayed quiet.

"When the nomads busted into Clays house, they gave him back all the legal shit from the safe." Jax replied.

"It was here Jax." Juice said with tears in his eyes.

"You left him alone when I didn't show, didn't you."

"Yes."

Jax socked him in the face, knocking him to the floor. Chibs picked him back up.

"Go home, Juice."

"Jax, I'm sorry."

Chibs pushed him towards the door and hesitated when he saw me. I nodded at him and moved out of the way as he pushed him out. He put his hand on my shoulder before walking back towards the wall.

"You enlisted Juice on your war against Clay. That's why you didn't bring his betrayal to the table. Jax, you got no real proof of Clay's ties to the Nomad attacks. Just the word of a dead traitor and a fed snitch. You gotta let it go, Jax. Look what you did for the club today. It's epic shit, brother. Epic! Don't let your hate kill that."

"There are a few other things I can't prove. My father wrote letters to Maureen Ashby. That he feared Clay would kill him if he tried to get the club out of guns. Even told her he would sabotage his bike. Clay killed my old man. Maureen put the letters in my bag when we left Belfast. Tara found the and gave them to Piney. Clay found out. That's why he killed Piney. Why he tried to kill Tara. Why he tried to kill Savannah. Clay was the one who ored the attack on her. HE is responsible for what happened to her hand. He's responsible for everything."

Jax got up and walked out, leaving the four of us in the house. Chibs turned to me, with tears in his eyes. I looked up at him and glanced over at Bobby.

"Ya knew about this, lass?"

"Yes."

"That's why you ran? It had nothing to do with Hap and yer fight."

"Alvarez reached out to me because he knew what was happening. The cartel told him. I mean I didn't know they were with the feds at the time. Tara and I would have been fine, but you all would have thought we were dead."

He bowed his head and Bobby turned to me.

"What else do you know?"

"I know he ordered that hit, Bobby. I was here the night they came back. That was the night Hap and I got in that huge fight and I left with Clay."

"Was that planned?"

"Yes. Someone had to get close to him. So I did."

"You could have gotten hurt! He could have killed you!"

"Wouldn't have been the first time he put me in that kind of danger, Bobby. I know you're mad at Jax. I know. But you need to listen to him and help him. Or Clay is going to kill more people."

Chibs walked over and pulled me into a bone crushing huge. I could feel his body shaking. I held him tight and kissed his cheek before letting go.

"I love you, Chibby. I'm okay."

"But ya almost weren't. And I didn't even see it."

"It's okay. We're gonna make it right."

He nodded and wiped at his face. I walked over and hugged Bobby too. I could see how conflicted he was and it broke my heart.

"You don't have to believe me Bobby, but please just think about all of it. What reason would I go along with killing my father if it wasn't true?"

We locked eyes for a moment before I walked back to Happy. I could feel his eyes on me the whole time we were there. He wrapped his arm around my waist and we walked out. It was hard to hide the disappointment that it wasn't over, but I was glad that Jax told them about everything. One thing I knew no matter what happened, Clay needed to die.

* * *

"There will be days when you're forced to make decisions that affect the lives of everyone you love. Choices that will change you forever. You reach an age that being a man isn't about respect or strength. Its about being aware of everything you touch. Children face inward and wallow in their own selfish needs. Men face out. Take action on the needs of others. I'm at the place. I'm staring one of those decisions in the face and its staring back at me with historical eyes and calls me a coward. A killer. A fraud. It wants me to crack and run from the service of the faith like a broken boy. Today I will not do that. Today I will be the man my father tried to be. I will make you proud."

Jax hadn't seen that I walked in while he was writing. I was reading over his shoulder, knowing damn well the only way I would ever see what he was really feeling was to read that small book he had.

"That's beautiful, Jax."

He looked up at me and went to close to the book.

"I already read it over your shoulder."

"Sneak."

"Isn't that what little sisters do?"

He smiled softly at me and turned towards me.

"What's up?"

"Why are you writing that? It's almost like you don't think you'll be here for them."

"I might not."

"You will."

"You don't know that."

"Call it a gut feeling. You're gonna make it out of this and those boys are going to grow old and take care of you some day. Just like you take care of them now."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. And I'll always look better than you since I'm younger."

He laughed and poked me in the stomach. I walked over and sat down on the couch.

"So, Clay gave me something yesterday."

"A headache?"

"Yes. Always. But this too."

I took the gun, still in the bag, out of my purse and handed it to him. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked at me.

"Gun I killed Adam with. He wiped it before he handed it to me and then put it in that bag. Guess he had a back up plan on how to get rid of me."

"That son of a bitch."

"That is exactly what I said."

He smiled at me and set the gun on the table.

"What do you want to do?"

"Don't know. That's why I brought it to you. I mean I'd love to use it on him but uh.. figured murder isn't the best option."

"We'll figure it out, sis."

Bobby walked in and let Jax know they were bringing Clay to the table. He looked panicked, but looked at me.

"You're going in too, Savannah. Just stay in the back."

* * *

Clay was telling the story about how he orchestrated the whole attacks. He went on to blame Frankie and say it was his idea, but he went with it to try to get the club back. I kept my eyes on Jax. He looked murderous. Absolutely ready to jump over the table and rip his fucking face off. I knew the feeling though. It hurt.

"I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

"But they did. You hurt a lot of people." Tig responded.

"I don't expet anyone to believe this. I aint saying because it wasn't my pride or greed. Main reasn I was trying to push out Jax was because he wasn't ready to lead. I didn't think he could handle it. I was wrong. He's proven to be a better leader than I ever was. I'll be in the garage."

"Wait." Jax snapped. "Savannah. Come here please, sweetheart."

The guys looked over at me for the first time. Happy had his jaw set, not liking the fact that I was this deep into the club. He hated it actually. Tig had a sad smile as I walked towards Jax. Jax pulled out the gun from his lap and set it on the table.

"Savannah, can you tell me what this is?"

"Yeah. It's the gun I killed Adam with."

"Why is it in a bag?"

"Because Clay kept my finger prints on it so he could toss me in jail if I got in the way."

"What else?"

"He ordered the hit on me and Tara."

"Clay?"

Clay squirmed in his seat but wouldn't make eye contact.

"She's right. I'm a rat bastard. I hurt everything I touch, even my kids. You decide what to do with me."

He walked out and everyone stayed silent.

"You can go, Savannah. Thank you sweetheart."

I nodded and walked out, shutting the door behind me. I sat down at the wall, wishing that I could actually cry about the whole situation. I knew what I was doing was right, but fuck it hurt. It wasn't easy throwing your dad to the wolves, no matter the circumstances.

I could hear Jax lowly talking in the chapel. I slew of yes and yay came through the door as well. It went quiet for a minute. Then Jax started talking again.

"He's a traitor. I aint falling for his bullshit." Chibs let out.

"Anyone else? All in favor of Clay Morrow meeting Mr Mayhem."

I heard every yay go around but none of them seemed happy. Tig paused but answered with a yeah. Happy was the one who sounded the most sure. My stomach dropped realizing he would b e the one to pull the trigger. When it got to Bobby he hesitated.

"I was going to say no. I came in here wanting to keep him alive. But that shit. He was going to kill Savannah? Throw her in jail?"

"What's your answer, brother."

"Yeah."

"I'll go get him." Chibs responded and walked out. Everyone followed with Jax walked out. I could see on his face he wasn't going to wait. I ran out and stood in front of Clay.

"Savannah, move." He growled.

"No. Jax you do this right. You got your vote. It's almost over."

"Savannah."

"Jaxson."

"Jesus Christ you're just as fucking stubborn as your god damn mother!"

"You think you aren't! DO THIS RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL."

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE FUCKING TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!?"

"I'M BEING YOUR FUCKING MORAL COMPASS JAXSON. YOU ARE SO FUCKING PIG HEADED THAT YOU AREN'T LISTENING TO REASON."

"HE KILLED MY FUCKING FATHER!"

"AND NOW YOU GET TO KILL MINE!"

He stopped dead with that statement. Everyone did.

"Savannah I-"

"No. You're right. The club isn't my business. But this is. He hurt me too, Jaxson. He ripped everything away from me. You aren't the only one who is hurting."

I felt the tears sting my eyes. I was so mad I couldn't even do it anymore. I let a sob escape my lips as I wrapped my arms around myself.

"I'm so sorry." Clay said from behind me.

I ignored him and stayed looking at Jax.

"Do this right, Jax. Club comes before all. Don't let my sacrifices and losses die with your dignity. It's time for him to meet the fate he is supposed to meet. Don't lose yourself. Please."

He hesistated and ndded at me. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my forehead. Happy reached out to me but I shook my head and walked away. Gemma was standing in the doorway and I walked to her. She pulled me into her arms and I finally lost it.

"It's okay baby. It's okay. Do you want to go home?"

"No. I want to stay here. This is my home."

She nodded and led me into the office. We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Happy walked in.

"Hey." I said softly.

"Hey, babe. Wanna go for a ride?"

"You aren't watching Clay?"

"Nah. He's taken care of."

I nodded and walked to him just as his phone rang. He stepped outside and I heard that he needed to go. He turned to look at me and I smiled.

"Go ahead baby."

He kissed my foreahead and took off towards his bike.

"You're a good old lady, ya know."

"I'm trying."

 


	27. I Told You She Was Dangerous

I walked into Taras office and saw her and Wendy talking. I smiled at them both as I shut the door behind me.

"Hey Wendy."

"Hey, Savannah."

I went in and sat down, helping myself to a few pieces of candy off Taras desk and propped my legs up on her desk. She shook her head but laughed.

"Go ahead, Savannah. Help yourself."

"Aww, thanks sis."

Wendy laughed and shook her head.

"You act just like your brother. You know that?" Wendy said cheerfully.

"Must be in the blood or something". Tara responded

I smiled at them both knowing that they were right. It got even worse the more time Jax and I spent together. We could either be the best thing for each other or the worst of influences.

"Tara, did you need something when you asked me here?" Wendy asked.

Tara sighed and looked at me. I gave her a soft smile to let her know I was there for her.

"Abel was in an accident a few weeks ago. He had to have a minor surgery to correct his heartbeat, but he's okay."

"Shit. Were you driving?"

"Nope." I responded. "My mother was. Stoned out of her freaking mind too. Lied to Jax about it and tried to make it seem like a club problem." I said as I continued to chew on the candy.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"No." Tara answered.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I know Savannah talked to you. I want you in their lives, Wendy. Gemma will never be near them again. I want to put you and Savannah down as both emergency contacts and guardians in case something happens to me and Jax."

"Really?" Wendy said as she looked at me.

"Yes. I trust you two more than anyone else. I know you love my boys. Just.. Abel can't know who you are yet."

"Yeah. Yeah I know. I totally understand that. You're mommy."

Tara nodded and set down a packet of paperwork down showing that she would be leaving the boys to me and her in event of an accident or death. Wendy had tears in her eyes but she nodded.

"You sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah. I'm getting suspended from work for a few weeks, but nothing crazy. I'm not going to jail or anything."

I smiled at her, glad that she had a better head about the whole Otto thing. They had interviewed her and found her in violation of the contract because of her ties to the club, but other than that they couldn't tie her to the death of the nurse. She was safe.

"I need to get Jax to sign these, but as soon as he does both of you will get copies of it. Also, you're both down as people who can visit the boys in daycare. I didn't put Happy down but once you're married we can change that."

"I'm usually with him anyway."

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm trusting you, Wendy. I'm trusting that you will stay clean and do whats best for the boys."

"Always, Tara. Thank you."

* * *

I got the call that we were about to go on lock down. I had shot a text to Tara and head straight to TM. I pulled in to see no one there yet. I walked around and took the sight in. It wasn't very often that I got to see it empty. Soon there would be so many people there I wouldn't be able to breathe. The quiet felt nice.

I wondered what would happen to TM. Clay and Gemma both owned it but I wasn't one hundred percent sure that Clay would hand it over to her. He loved her, but her having total control of that place might not be the best idea either. I considered trying to talk to him about it, but I didn't have much left to say.

With the club voting on the mayhem, I figured it would all happen soon. The only thing they really needed to do was lock down the Irish. The Sons and IRA had been close for decades from what I knew. I couldn't imagine that they would just totally let that relationship fall apart. One way or another, Jax would make it work until he could find a way out. I laughed at myself for having so much faith in my brother, but I truly believed he could save the club.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard tires screech as an SUV came flying in. I went to reach for my bag, but I realized I left it in the car. They came out of the vehicle with guns pointed at me.

"C'mon lady. We need ya."

"I think I would rather stay here."

He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the SUV. He wasn't being particularly rough, so I didn't fight back. They all had guns in their hands and heavy accents. It didn't take much of a brain to know they were Irish.

"Are you taking me because of the shit that went down with the Sons today?"

"Smart one, aye?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You're Clay Morrows daughter, aye?"

"Yes."

"Good. Got the right girl then."

They sped out of the parking lot and I saw the guys turn the corner. I looked at Happy and prayed he knew I was in the car. When they all turned into the parking lot of TM, my heart sank. Here I was, speeding away when they were all right there.

I shut my eyes and fought back tears. I knew that they had once taken Abel overseas. I tried to fight back the thoughts of never seeing my family again but it came in waves. I thought of Tara and the boys. I had no regrets when it came to them though. I had helped her see everything she does have here. Her and Jax were going to be okay.

Jax. I loved my brother like I never even knew was possible. He was a great man. I was surprised that he had grown to be such a wonderful person but he must have gotten that from his father. Clay and Gemma were such vile people that there was no way he got it from them.

The tears finally stung my eyes when I thought of Happy. Instead of finalizing our wedding plans, here I was speeding away not knowing if I would ever see him again. I imagined that he would be telling me everything would be okay then hold me in a comfortable silence. Once he told me things would be okay, that was the end of the discussion. There was never any questioning him or his steadfast idea that everything would be okay in the end. It was comforting.

"Don't worry, lass."

I opened my eyes and looked at the man next to me.

"How can you tell me not to worry? You just took me. You took my nephew too."

"And everything worked out, aye?"

"Yes. After my whole family went to Belfast after finding out he was there."

"Yer phone is blinking."

I looked down to see Happy calling. I looked over at the guy next to me and he nodded but hit speaker on my phone when I answered.

"Babe? Where are you?"

"I uh, I'm going for a ride I guess."

"Your car is here."

"Yeah."

"What the hell is going on."

The man took the phone from me gently so I let go of it.

"She's going on a little ride with us. Galen wants to meet the daughter of Clay Morrow."

"You son of a bitch I'll rip your fucking skull out of your head."

"Oi, awfully nasty one ya are. Don't ya know theres a lady in the vehicle?"

"Yeah, that's my fucking woman you piece of shi-"

He hung up the phone and handed it back to me.

"You're welcome to keep it. Don't do anything stupid though. I'm not interested in hurting a woman."

I nodded and held the phone close. I saw that a text came in and look at him. He nodded back, but read what I was typing back.

**Are you okay? Where are you?**

_I'm okay. I don't know. I have my phone though. Keep texting me._

**Stay safe. I love you. I'll text every 10 minutes.**

_Okay. I love you too._

* * *

We pulled into a warehouse calmly. I had always imagined if I had been kidnapped it would be painful and rushed. These guys must be proficient at kidnapping. I got out after they opened the door for me. A hand was outstretched for me, and I gently took it to get out. He smiled at me and walked me towards a few men in suits.

"Ah, this must be Miss Morrow."

He spoke slowly with a heavy accent. Even though he was older I still loved his bright eyes. He seemed to have taken care of himself. I guess money can do that for you.

"I'd prefer to just be called Savannah."

"Alright. I guess that can be arranged. Name is Galen."

"Would it be ballsy for me to ask why I'm here?"

"Yes, but I think you have a right to know. I don't like your brother. He got us involved in some shite that I'm not happy about."

"So you took me to make him listen."

"Didn't sound like a question."

"It wasn't."

"You're a smart lass."

"I'm Clay and Gemmas daughter. Gotta be quick on my feet."

"Ya know, I think it may be a good thing we took you."

"Oh?"

"I think we can keep this arrangement going on with the club."

"And I changed your mind on that?"

"Yep. Lets hope they get the money together to keep you alive. You're valuable."

"Just how much are you asking from them?"

He turned away from me.

"Over four hundred thousand."

I felt my heart sink.

"They don't have that kind of money."

"For your sake, I hope they do."

* * *

We had been sitting at an old barn for what seemed like ages. Somehow, they had come up with the money to bail me out of Irish hell, but Galen wanted Jax and Clay only to show up. I was afraid that Jax would kill him on the way there, but maybe since he knew my life hung in the balance he would behave himself.

"Think he will show?"

I turned to the Irish man and shrugged.

"You're handing a pyro a gas covered pile of wood and asking him not to lite a match. Hopefully his love for me his stronger than that visceral need."

He nodded and smiled.

"You have a way with your words."

"Only thing college did for me."

"Well, if it makes you feel better I don't think I'll kill ya either way. Just take ya back to Belfast with me. You're smart. Would be a waste ta kill ya."

"You really want SAMCRO to show up in Belfast again?"

"Big difference between kid sister and child."

"I'm engaged to one of them."

"Ah, then they will be paying for ya."

I shrugged but heard two bikes getting closer. My heart started racing. I had no idea what was going to happen, but it made me nervous.

"Breath, lass. Ya won't be dying."

"Will Jax?"

He sighed.

"I'll try not to shoot him."

I nodded, not sure if he was kidding or not. The two walked in and handed him a bag full of cash.

"Shame. Was about ready to just leave with her. She's a smart young woman."

"That she is." Jax responded carefully.

"So, Clay here is going to meet his end, yes?"

Jax nodded.

"Alright. This is how we're going to work this. Miss Savannah here is going to take Clays place. She doesn't need to be in the club so don't go yellin at me. She will be at the meets though. Figure it will keep you honest."

Jax looked at me and shook his head.

"No. I don't want her involved."

"But its okay for her to marry one of ya?"

"Totally different being an old lady and a part of this shit."

"I want to keep you honest, Jaxson. This is the only way I will trust ya."

He hesitated but looked at me.

"Jax, I want to go home. And I want you to live. I'll do whatever."

"Hap isn't gonna be thrilled."

"I'll deal with Happy."

He nodded and looked back at the Irish man.

"Fine."

I was tossed a burner cell that I barely caught before it dropped to the ground. I stuck it in my bag and walked towards Jax.

"Don't betray me, Savannah. I'll be in touch."

I nodded and walked into Jax's outstretched arms. We left the building with Clay following us. I looked back at him.

"This is your fault, Clay."

"I know."

"Do you? Now I'm a fucking lacky for the Irish because you couldn't get away from your fucking pride."

"Savannah. I know." He snapped.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. Not even living men can talk to me like that, and you're already dead."

* * *

I sat behind the garage trying to stop my mind from racing. I had spent so much time making Tara feel more comfortable and stopping her from ripping her family apart, I hadn't noticed how deep I had gotten myself. I was in love with Happy so devoting my time to the club wasn't even a hard choice to make. This was different though.

I had shown up after the huge beef with the IRA. Chibs told me all about it though. They easily could have taken me to Belfast and they all would have thought I was dead. Or maybe they wouldn't have. It wouldn't have been the first time that I disappeared with the threat of never coming back.

I sighed and put my head in my hands. The phone the IRA had given me was burning a hole in my pocket. It was almost as if it was poisoning me from the inside out. I took it out and tossed it on the ground, not wanting the constant reminder that I was now their bitch.

"Careful, love. They'll come lookin if ya don't answer."

I looked up to see Chibs. He had an understanding smile on his face as he knelt down in front of me.

"How did shit get so bad?"

"We both know Clay is the answer to that question, sweetheart."

I sighed.

"I know. I do know that."

"We'll get ya out of this shite. I promise."

"Happy is going to blow a gasket."

"Already did. Jax sat down and told everyone."

"Oh, fuck."

"It's alright. He's out at the cabin setting everything up for tonight."

"Is it bad that I want to be there?"

"No. Not at all."

I sighed again and let my head fall back into my hands. He picked my head back up, making me look at him.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course, I do."

"You're gonna be okay. We all are."

"If you say so."

"Well, I do. So that's that."

I laughed at him and looked over at the phone on the ground.

"I'm half convinced that fucking thing is going to blow up in my hands."

"Well, they are the IRA."

I laughed out loud and shook my head. I looked over to see Jax standing by the corner, watching.

"Creep."

"You know it, sis."

He sauntered over and pulled me into a hug.

"You wanna be there tonight?"

"If I'm allowed."

He nodded.

"Then yeah. I want to be there."

"Alright. Let's head out."

* * *

We got up to the cabin and the first thing I saw was Happy smoking. He was sitting on the stairs looking pretty pissed off. I glanced at Jax and he nodded towards him. I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked towards him. He continued smoking and ignored me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk to you first."

"It's fine."

"Yes, because you ignoring me is fine."

"I'm just smoking."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" he snapped.

"I know you, Happy. You don't do that silent held back shit with me."

"I'm just fucking smoking."

"No, you're pissed off at me so you won't talk to me. How many times have we talked while you smoke."

He rolled his jaw and stood up, grabbing my arm roughly and walking towards the back of the cabin. I ripped my arm from his and stayed in step. When we got where no one could see us he pulled me into his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"So, I was right?"

"Yes. I just.. Savannah that scared the shit out of me."

"And it didn't fucking scare me!? At least last time I chose to leave."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"I know. Listen. Let's get this done and then we can talk some more okay?"

"Yeah."

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too, Happy."

* * *

We were all standing out in the woods. Happy had the gun in his hand pointed at the back of Clays head. I stepped away from him and walked towards Jax. Happy was the only one standing behind my father.

"Clay, the club has voted that your life is over."

He nodded and swallowed.

"Any last words?"

He looked at me.

"Savannah, I know you hate me. You have every reason to. Please know that deep down I do love you. If I could go back and change everything, I would. Not a damn thing I've done I would do to you again. That includes sending you away. I'd do right by you and I'd do right by this club. I love you."

I nodded but couldn't find the right words to say. Jax looked at me and squeezed my hand. I nodded back before looking at the ground. I saw Jax nod at Happy and then the ringing of a gunshot. The sound of Clays limp body hitting the ground was sickening. I walked over to the woods and threw up everything I had eaten for what seemed like days. I felt arms wrapped around me and the familiar smell of Happy.

"Lets go home, babe."

The next day I went over to Jax's in the morning. I walked in and couldn't help but smile. I had barely slept but I knew that I wanted to be there. They were all sitting together and laughing. The pain was gone from Jax's face. Tara look at peace. The boys were smiling and happy. No matter how much my heart was aching, everything I had done and gone through was worth it knowing they were happy.

"Hey Savannah."

"Hey guys."

Abel ran up to me and I pulled him into my arms. I kissed the top of his head and smiled at him.

"How are you?" Jax asked.

"I'm okay. Just wanted to see some of my favorite people."

Jax smiled but I could tell he was seeing right through me. He kissed Tara and she took the boys outside.

"You okay?"

"Honestly? No."

"Clay?"

"No. Well, yeah. However, its more the IRA stuff."

"It'll be okay. We're gonna get you out of this."

"Happy is acting distant. Doesn't want to talk to me. Doesn't want to talk about anything."

"We're all having a rough time."

"I get that. I do. But he's always talked to me. This is the first time he has ever really shut me out."

"Just keep pushing."

I nodded and forced a smile.

"Hey, so I didn't want to give this to you last night, but Clay left you a packet of shit."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I didn't go through it so I have no idea what's in it."

"We can open it together. Not sure I'm in the place to do it alone."

He moved closer to me so I could open it, but before I could the front door burst open to Gemma walking in looking pissed.

"Mom?"

"Where is she."

"Who?"

"Tara."

"She's outside with the boys. What's wrong?"

Gemma handed Jax a huge basket and a letter. He opened it.

**Tara,**

**We hope you're still considering our offer.**

**Providence Children Specialists**

Jax rolled his eyes and walked out to get Tara.

"Did you know about this?"

"Yeah. But it isn't a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Are you fucking kidding me!? She's going to take those boys."

"Gemma, they aren't your kids. So, it really isn't your business anyway."

Tara and Jax walked back in.

"We didn't tell you because I'm not going. I turned it down. My hand got the clearance. I can practice again. Well, at least once my suspension is up. I want to open my own practice here in town and then just do the surgeries out of the hospital."

Gemma shifted her weight a few times before pointing at Tara.

"If I find out you try to take those boys from me, I'll kill you."

I stood up and blocked her sight of my sister in law.

"Leave. Now."

"You don-"

"LEAVE. NOW."

"Jesus you sound like your brother when you're mad."

"Yeah, and I act like him too. Leave."

She looked at all of us and stomped back out, slamming the door behind her. I turned back to Jax.

"I told you she was dangerous."

"Yeah, yeah you did."

 


	28. You Still Want Me?

I walked into Taras office and saw her and Wendy talking. I smiled at them both as I shut the door behind me.

"Hey Wendy."

"Hey, Savannah."

I went in and sat down, helping myself to a few pieces of candy off Taras desk and propped my legs up on her desk. She shook her head but laughed.

"Go ahead, Savannah. Help yourself."

"Aww, thanks sis."

Wendy laughed and shook her head.

"You act just like your brother. You know that?" Wendy said cheerfully.

"Must be in the blood or something". Tara responded

I smiled at them both knowing that they were right. It got even worse the more time Jax and I spent together. We could either be the best thing for each other or the worst of influences.

"Tara, did you need something when you asked me here?" Wendy asked.

Tara sighed and looked at me. I gave her a soft smile to let her know I was there for her.

"Abel was in an accident a few weeks ago. He had to have a minor surgery to correct his heartbeat, but he's okay."

"Shit. Were you driving?"

"Nope." I responded. "My mother was. Stoned out of her freaking mind too. Lied to Jax about it and tried to make it seem like a club problem." I said as I continued to chew on the candy.

"Are you fucking kidding me!?"

"No." Tara answered.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"I know Savannah talked to you. I want you in their lives, Wendy. Gemma will never be near them again. I want to put you and Savannah down as both emergency contacts and guardians in case something happens to me and Jax."

"Really?" Wendy said as she looked at me.

"Yes. I trust you two more than anyone else. I know you love my boys. Just.. Abel can't know who you are yet."

"Yeah. Yeah I know. I totally understand that. You're mommy."

Tara nodded and set down a packet of paperwork down showing that she would be leaving the boys to me and her in event of an accident or death. Wendy had tears in her eyes but she nodded.

"You sure everything is okay?"

"Yeah. I'm getting suspended from work for a few weeks, but nothing crazy. I'm not going to jail or anything."

I smiled at her, glad that she had a better head about the whole Otto thing. They had interviewed her and found her in violation of the contract because of her ties to the club, but other than that they couldn't tie her to the death of the nurse. She was safe.

"I need to get Jax to sign these, but as soon as he does both of you will get copies of it. Also, you're both down as people who can visit the boys in daycare. I didn't put Happy down but once you're married we can change that."

"I'm usually with him anyway."

She smiled and nodded.

"I'm trusting you, Wendy. I'm trusting that you will stay clean and do whats best for the boys."

"Always, Tara. Thank you."

* * *

I got the call that we were about to go on lock down. I had shot a text to Tara and head straight to TM. I pulled in to see no one there yet. I walked around and took the sight in. It wasn't very often that I got to see it empty. Soon there would be so many people there I wouldn't be able to breathe. The quiet felt nice.

I wondered what would happen to TM. Clay and Gemma both owned it but I wasn't one hundred percent sure that Clay would hand it over to her. He loved her, but her having total control of that place might not be the best idea either. I considered trying to talk to him about it, but I didn't have much left to say.

With the club voting on the mayhem, I figured it would all happen soon. The only thing they really needed to do was lock down the Irish. The Sons and IRA had been close for decades from what I knew. I couldn't imagine that they would just totally let that relationship fall apart. One way or another, Jax would make it work until he could find a way out. I laughed at myself for having so much faith in my brother, but I truly believed he could save the club.

I snapped out of my thoughts as I heard tires screech as an SUV came flying in. I went to reach for my bag, but I realized I left it in the car. They came out of the vehicle with guns pointed at me.

"C'mon lady. We need ya."

"I think I would rather stay here."

He grabbed my arm and dragged me into the SUV. He wasn't being particularly rough, so I didn't fight back. They all had guns in their hands and heavy accents. It didn't take much of a brain to know they were Irish.

"Are you taking me because of the shit that went down with the Sons today?"

"Smart one, aye?"

"I'll take that as a yes."

"You're Clay Morrows daughter, aye?"

"Yes."

"Good. Got the right girl then."

They sped out of the parking lot and I saw the guys turn the corner. I looked at Happy and prayed he knew I was in the car. When they all turned into the parking lot of TM, my heart sank. Here I was, speeding away when they were all right there.

I shut my eyes and fought back tears. I knew that they had once taken Abel overseas. I tried to fight back the thoughts of never seeing my family again but it came in waves. I thought of Tara and the boys. I had no regrets when it came to them though. I had helped her see everything she does have here. Her and Jax were going to be okay.

Jax. I loved my brother like I never even knew was possible. He was a great man. I was surprised that he had grown to be such a wonderful person but he must have gotten that from his father. Clay and Gemma were such vile people that there was no way he got it from them.

The tears finally stung my eyes when I thought of Happy. Instead of finalizing our wedding plans, here I was speeding away not knowing if I would ever see him again. I imagined that he would be telling me everything would be okay then hold me in a comfortable silence. Once he told me things would be okay, that was the end of the discussion. There was never any questioning him or his steadfast idea that everything would be okay in the end. It was comforting.

"Don't worry, lass."

I opened my eyes and looked at the man next to me.

"How can you tell me not to worry? You just took me. You took my nephew too."

"And everything worked out, aye?"

"Yes. After my whole family went to Belfast after finding out he was there."

"Yer phone is blinking."

I looked down to see Happy calling. I looked over at the guy next to me and he nodded but hit speaker on my phone when I answered.

"Babe? Where are you?"

"I uh, I'm going for a ride I guess."

"Your car is here."

"Yeah."

"What the hell is going on."

The man took the phone from me gently so I let go of it.

"She's going on a little ride with us. Galen wants to meet the daughter of Clay Morrow."

"You son of a bitch I'll rip your fucking skull out of your head."

"Oi, awfully nasty one ya are. Don't ya know theres a lady in the vehicle?"

"Yeah, that's my fucking woman you piece of shi-"

He hung up the phone and handed it back to me.

"You're welcome to keep it. Don't do anything stupid though. I'm not interested in hurting a woman."

I nodded and held the phone close. I saw that a text came in and look at him. He nodded back, but read what I was typing back.

**Are you okay? Where are you?**

_I'm okay. I don't know. I have my phone though. Keep texting me._

**Stay safe. I love you. I'll text every 10 minutes.**

_Okay. I love you too._

* * *

We pulled into a warehouse calmly. I had always imagined if I had been kidnapped it would be painful and rushed. These guys must be proficient at kidnapping. I got out after they opened the door for me. A hand was outstretched for me, and I gently took it to get out. He smiled at me and walked me towards a few men in suits.

"Ah, this must be Miss Morrow."

He spoke slowly with a heavy accent. Even though he was older I still loved his bright eyes. He seemed to have taken care of himself. I guess money can do that for you.

"I'd prefer to just be called Savannah."

"Alright. I guess that can be arranged. Name is Galen."

"Would it be ballsy for me to ask why I'm here?"

"Yes, but I think you have a right to know. I don't like your brother. He got us involved in some shite that I'm not happy about."

"So you took me to make him listen."

"Didn't sound like a question."

"It wasn't."

"You're a smart lass."

"I'm Clay and Gemmas daughter. Gotta be quick on my feet."

"Ya know, I think it may be a good thing we took you."

"Oh?"

"I think we can keep this arrangement going on with the club."

"And I changed your mind on that?"

"Yep. Lets hope they get the money together to keep you alive. You're valuable."

"Just how much are you asking from them?"

He turned away from me.

"Over four hundred thousand."

I felt my heart sink.

"They don't have that kind of money."

"For your sake, I hope they do."

* * *

We had been sitting at an old barn for what seemed like ages. Somehow, they had come up with the money to bail me out of Irish hell, but Galen wanted Jax and Clay only to show up. I was afraid that Jax would kill him on the way there, but maybe since he knew my life hung in the balance he would behave himself.

"Think he will show?"

I turned to the Irish man and shrugged.

"You're handing a pyro a gas covered pile of wood and asking him not to lite a match. Hopefully his love for me his stronger than that visceral need."

He nodded and smiled.

"You have a way with your words."

"Only thing college did for me."

"Well, if it makes you feel better I don't think I'll kill ya either way. Just take ya back to Belfast with me. You're smart. Would be a waste ta kill ya."

"You really want SAMCRO to show up in Belfast again?"

"Big difference between kid sister and child."

"I'm engaged to one of them."

"Ah, then they will be paying for ya."

I shrugged but heard two bikes getting closer. My heart started racing. I had no idea what was going to happen, but it made me nervous.

"Breath, lass. Ya won't be dying."

"Will Jax?"

He sighed.

"I'll try not to shoot him."

I nodded, not sure if he was kidding or not. The two walked in and handed him a bag full of cash.

"Shame. Was about ready to just leave with her. She's a smart young woman."

"That she is." Jax responded carefully.

"So, Clay here is going to meet his end, yes?"

Jax nodded.

"Alright. This is how we're going to work this. Miss Savannah here is going to take Clays place. She doesn't need to be in the club so don't go yellin at me. She will be at the meets though. Figure it will keep you honest."

Jax looked at me and shook his head.

"No. I don't want her involved."

"But its okay for her to marry one of ya?"

"Totally different being an old lady and a part of this shit."

"I want to keep you honest, Jaxson. This is the only way I will trust ya."

He hesitated but looked at me.

"Jax, I want to go home. And I want you to live. I'll do whatever."

"Hap isn't gonna be thrilled."

"I'll deal with Happy."

He nodded and looked back at the Irish man.

"Fine."

I was tossed a burner cell that I barely caught before it dropped to the ground. I stuck it in my bag and walked towards Jax.

"Don't betray me, Savannah. I'll be in touch."

I nodded and walked into Jax's outstretched arms. We left the building with Clay following us. I looked back at him.

"This is your fault, Clay."

"I know."

"Do you? Now I'm a fucking lacky for the Irish because you couldn't get away from your fucking pride."

"Savannah. I know." He snapped.

"Don't you dare talk to me like that. Not even living men can talk to me like that, and you're already dead."

* * *

I sat behind the garage trying to stop my mind from racing. I had spent so much time making Tara feel more comfortable and stopping her from ripping her family apart, I hadn't noticed how deep I had gotten myself. I was in love with Happy so devoting my time to the club wasn't even a hard choice to make. This was different though.

I had shown up after the huge beef with the IRA. Chibs told me all about it though. They easily could have taken me to Belfast and they all would have thought I was dead. Or maybe they wouldn't have. It wouldn't have been the first time that I disappeared with the threat of never coming back.

I sighed and put my head in my hands. The phone the IRA had given me was burning a hole in my pocket. It was almost as if it was poisoning me from the inside out. I took it out and tossed it on the ground, not wanting the constant reminder that I was now their bitch.

"Careful, love. They'll come lookin if ya don't answer."

I looked up to see Chibs. He had an understanding smile on his face as he knelt down in front of me.

"How did shit get so bad?"

"We both know Clay is the answer to that question, sweetheart."

I sighed.

"I know. I do know that."

"We'll get ya out of this shite. I promise."

"Happy is going to blow a gasket."

"Already did. Jax sat down and told everyone."

"Oh, fuck."

"It's alright. He's out at the cabin setting everything up for tonight."

"Is it bad that I want to be there?"

"No. Not at all."

I sighed again and let my head fall back into my hands. He picked my head back up, making me look at him.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course, I do."

"You're gonna be okay. We all are."

"If you say so."

"Well, I do. So that's that."

I laughed at him and looked over at the phone on the ground.

"I'm half convinced that fucking thing is going to blow up in my hands."

"Well, they are the IRA."

I laughed out loud and shook my head. I looked over to see Jax standing by the corner, watching.

"Creep."

"You know it, sis."

He sauntered over and pulled me into a hug.

"You wanna be there tonight?"

"If I'm allowed."

He nodded.

"Then yeah. I want to be there."

"Alright. Let's head out."

* * *

We got up to the cabin and the first thing I saw was Happy smoking. He was sitting on the stairs looking pretty pissed off. I glanced at Jax and he nodded towards him. I stuck my hands in my pockets and walked towards him. He continued smoking and ignored me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to talk to you first."

"It's fine."

"Yes, because you ignoring me is fine."

"I'm just smoking."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"What the fuck does that mean?" he snapped.

"I know you, Happy. You don't do that silent held back shit with me."

"I'm just fucking smoking."

"No, you're pissed off at me so you won't talk to me. How many times have we talked while you smoke."

He rolled his jaw and stood up, grabbing my arm roughly and walking towards the back of the cabin. I ripped my arm from his and stayed in step. When we got where no one could see us he pulled me into his chest.

"I'm sorry."

"So, I was right?"

"Yes. I just.. Savannah that scared the shit out of me."

"And it didn't fucking scare me!? At least last time I chose to leave."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be."

"I know. Listen. Let's get this done and then we can talk some more okay?"

"Yeah."

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too, Happy."

* * *

We were all standing out in the woods. Happy had the gun in his hand pointed at the back of Clays head. I stepped away from him and walked towards Jax. Happy was the only one standing behind my father.

"Clay, the club has voted that your life is over."

He nodded and swallowed.

"Any last words?"

He looked at me.

"Savannah, I know you hate me. You have every reason to. Please know that deep down I do love you. If I could go back and change everything, I would. Not a damn thing I've done I would do to you again. That includes sending you away. I'd do right by you and I'd do right by this club. I love you."

I nodded but couldn't find the right words to say. Jax looked at me and squeezed my hand. I nodded back before looking at the ground. I saw Jax nod at Happy and then the ringing of a gunshot. The sound of Clays limp body hitting the ground was sickening. I walked over to the woods and threw up everything I had eaten for what seemed like days. I felt arms wrapped around me and the familiar smell of Happy.

"Lets go home, babe."

The next day I went over to Jax's in the morning. I walked in and couldn't help but smile. I had barely slept but I knew that I wanted to be there. They were all sitting together and laughing. The pain was gone from Jax's face. Tara look at peace. The boys were smiling and happy. No matter how much my heart was aching, everything I had done and gone through was worth it knowing they were happy.

"Hey Savannah."

"Hey guys."

Abel ran up to me and I pulled him into my arms. I kissed the top of his head and smiled at him.

"How are you?" Jax asked.

"I'm okay. Just wanted to see some of my favorite people."

Jax smiled but I could tell he was seeing right through me. He kissed Tara and she took the boys outside.

"You okay?"

"Honestly? No."

"Clay?"

"No. Well, yeah. However, its more the IRA stuff."

"It'll be okay. We're gonna get you out of this."

"Happy is acting distant. Doesn't want to talk to me. Doesn't want to talk about anything."

"We're all having a rough time."

"I get that. I do. But he's always talked to me. This is the first time he has ever really shut me out."

"Just keep pushing."

I nodded and forced a smile.

"Hey, so I didn't want to give this to you last night, but Clay left you a packet of shit."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I didn't go through it so I have no idea what's in it."

"We can open it together. Not sure I'm in the place to do it alone."

He moved closer to me so I could open it, but before I could the front door burst open to Gemma walking in looking pissed.

"Mom?"

"Where is she."

"Who?"

"Tara."

"She's outside with the boys. What's wrong?"

Gemma handed Jax a huge basket and a letter. He opened it.

**Tara,**

**We hope you're still considering our offer.**

**Providence Children Specialists**

Jax rolled his eyes and walked out to get Tara.

"Did you know about this?"

"Yeah. But it isn't a big deal."

"Not a big deal? Are you fucking kidding me!? She's going to take those boys."

"Gemma, they aren't your kids. So, it really isn't your business anyway."

Tara and Jax walked back in.

"We didn't tell you because I'm not going. I turned it down. My hand got the clearance. I can practice again. Well, at least once my suspension is up. I want to open my own practice here in town and then just do the surgeries out of the hospital."

Gemma shifted her weight a few times before pointing at Tara.

"If I find out you try to take those boys from me, I'll kill you."

I stood up and blocked her sight of my sister in law.

"Leave. Now."

"You don-"

"LEAVE. NOW."

"Jesus you sound like your brother when you're mad."

"Yeah, and I act like him too. Leave."

She looked at all of us and stomped back out, slamming the door behind her. I turned back to Jax.

"I told you she was dangerous."

"Yeah, yeah you did."

 


	29. Just The Reminder Of A Fuck Up

After talking to Tara, we head to the DA's office. We had told the lawyer what Gemma said and considering I didn't have a record, they believed me. They were hoping to get Tara out of there by the end of the day.

"Can I ask what happened to your face?" She asked.

"Gemma. Probably still has my skin under her nails."

"And how does she look?"

"I did hit her once."

"Self defense, I'm sure." She laughed.

"Oh absolutely. Then she fell a few times. Must has hit her face off the floor in her daze."

The DA laughed and shook her head.

"You're her daughter?"

"Yeah. I am."

"Alright. It sounds to me like we can get Tara out of here though. We are going to get her on the lying on contract, but that includes no jail time. Just a short suspension of her license."

"Will that follow her forever?"

Jax looked fearful, probably not realizing that was possible.

"No. It isn't a lasting punishment. Just enough to make her not make the same mistake again."

Jax sighed and relaxed a little.

"You should stick around these bikers, Savannah. You seem to be their voice of reason."

"You got that right."

Jax stood up and laughed.

"Alright, all mighty voice of reason, lets go get my wife."

Tara walked out and directly into Jax's arms. I could see she was crying but I couldn't stop smiling. She looked over at me and frowned.

"Gemma did that, huh?"

"Yeah, you should see her though." Jax quipped.

"Jesus, Savannah."

"She shouldn't piss me off."

"Remind me not to do the same."

We all laughed and walked outside.

"So they said they're dropping the charges."

"Yeah. We both stepped up and told them about her lying. Since I don't have a record and it would make more sense for me to be loyal to Gemma, they figured I wasn't lying."

"Thank you."

"Thanks for not rolling over and turning on all of us."

"Oh, I would never!"

* * *

I was sitting at the clubhouse with Tara and the boys. All the guys were around talking and playing with the kids. She looked so happy here knowing that we were all on her side. Plus, we figured it was better if Gemma didn't know where she was or for her to be alone.

We heard tires squeak then the sound of heels. The whore Ima ran in and screamed for Jax. Tara went to get up, but I motioned for her to stay. I stood up as Chibs looked at everyone.

"Why is this gash here?"

"Please. I need your help. It's Lyla. She's really hurt."

I made eye contact with Chibs as him, Happy, Tig and myself ran out the door. I hopped on the bike with Happy and we took off. We were following Ima and as much as I wanted to throat punch the bitch, if it had to do with Lyla I would go anywhere.

We pulled up to Lylas house and she was sobbing and covered in bruises. I ran up to her and tossed a blanket over her shoulders. She was sobbing and begging for Opie. I set my jaw, determined not to cry but it wasn't working.

"I'll drive her in her car up to Diosa."

We got her in and the whole way up she sobbed. She begged god and everyone else for Opie to come back to her. I found myself crying too but kept silent. There was no way I was going to get anything out of her until she calmed down. We pulled into DIosa and Tig pulled her out of the car. I made eye contact with Happy and he nodded in understanding. Jax was already there and from the look at Gemmas face, they had been fighting.

"Savannah, can we talk?"

"Can't you see I'm fucking busy?"

I walked past her and right over to Lyla. She opened up to Jax immediately.

"It was just supposed to be some fetish stuff. Some cage time. I was tortured by them. They never told me. The more I asked them to stop, the more they hurt me."

Who?"

"Persians."

"I met one of them through the Safron Sisters." Ima responded.

"Stupid whore." Jax spit.

"I'm the one who got her out of there."

"I needed the money, Jax. I got three kids now."

"Why didn't you say something?" Nero asked.

"I don't take charity."

"Lyla, this gets settled. You understand? Where are they?"

"Stockton."

Ima handed over an address and walked away as I glared at her. The guys continued to talk but I followed Ima out.

"How could you send her over there?"

"They had references!"

"You stay the fuck away from everyone around here. You got it?"

"Just shut up, Savannah."

I grabbed her by the hair and smashed her face off the wall. She started sobbing and holding her now broken nose. I turned around to see Happy smirking at me.

"Nice one, babe."

"Thanks."

"Why don't you go back to the clubhouse with Lyla. I'll meet you there."

"Alright."

He pulled me into a passionate all consuming kiss. I could see in his eyes he wanted to take me right there, but in the end the club came first.

* * *

There was a lot going down with the club, but everything seemed pretty normal. It was quiet almost. Lyla was healing and everyone was okay. Bobby had left up to Indian Hills, but he needed the space. He was pissed about everything that happened even though it wasn't really any one persons fault. Well, other than Clay.

With all my free time, I had decided to start planning the wedding. I had asked Happy if it was okay to do something more than a courthouse rendezvous. He didn't want anything huge, but he was okay with making a day out of it. Figured the club could use the distraction.

"Hows the planning going?"

"Alright I guess. Just need to find a dress and lock down the flowers."

"I can help you if you want."

"I'd love that, actually."

Tara sat down next to me and looked over everything I had scribbled down. We talked back and forth about color schemes and figured out where to look for a dress. While we were chatting I noticed that Gemma pulled in. She has still been working at TM, but shit was really tense. I hadn't brought up the fact that I own everything but I knew she would find out soon.

"I'm gonna go talk to Gemma."

"Savnnah, you sure that's a good idea."

"No. But something needs to give."

"Yeah. You're right."

"Mind calling the dress places and see if they have any openings?"

"Sure thing."

I walked out and across the parking lot towards the office. I could see Gemma in there working. I had half a mind to just walk away, but I was right when I said something needed to give. I walked in and shut the door behind me.

"We need to talk, Gemma."

"Oh now you want to talk?"

"Yeah. Now I do."

"Then talk."

She set her papers down and turned towards me.

"What you did to Tara? That shit is fucked."

"I did what I had to do."

"Why though. Why the fuck did you do that. She is the mother of your grandchildren. She is Jax's wife. She is my sister."

"She was going to leave!"

"No she wasn't!"

"She told me she was."

"She wanted you gone, Gemma. Me and her have talked extensively. She isn't going anywhere. She is so fucking happy here. She has escaped so much shit. She isn't going to leave Jax. She isn't going to take those boys away from her family."

"You don't know that."

"Know what I do know?"

"What, Savannah."

"I know that you ruined any chance of ever being in those boys life. You have tossed away both of your children. And for what? Some power grab? You fucked up Gemma. Remember that when you die alone."

I turned and stared to walk away when she yelled to me.

"Watch your back, Savannah."

"You threatening me?"

"I'm promising you. Those boys are my life."

"Yeah. I figured that out when I got here to see a loving family. A loving family that you never planned on having me part of. I'm just the baby girl you sent away right? Just a reminder of a fuck up."

"How dare you-"

"Fuck off, Gemma. You're done. Oh, and just so you know. Clay left me everything. I'll be getting you the paperwork when I buy you out of TM."

"You can't do that!"

"The fuck I can't. I own the majority. I'll also be figuring out how much I want for rent for the house."

"You little bitch."

She started walking at me but stopped dead when Jax walked out of the garage with Chibs. She looked at the two and scoffed before walking towards her car.

"Don't come back, Gemma." Jax yelled to her.

She stopped for a moment but got in her car and sped out of the lot.

"Ya alright, lass?"

"Yeah. I'm great."

* * *

It was the night before the wedding. Happy and the guys were at the clubhouse and I was with Tara. It was quiet, but exactly what I needed. In fact, it was so quiet that Tara had already fallen asleep on the couch. I decided to do some dishes when I heard the front door open. I looked over to see Jax stagger in.

"Why aren't you at the clubhouse?"

"Wanted to spend some time with my little sister."

"You're drunk."

"Very."

"Tara fell asleep on me."

"Yeah, she does that."

He sat down in the chair by the table and I brought him a cup of coffee. He thanked me quickly and took a few sips of it.

"Shit is so sideways right now."

"What do you mean?"

"There was a school shooting. They think it was us."

"Was it?"

"Jesus. No. The kid got a gun from one of Neros guys."

"Shit. Didn't you sell them?"

"Yep."

"Ugh."

"You got that right. Plus, we got into business with a girl in Stockton. Needs a business partner to run an escort business."

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"She pushed up on me pretty good."

"Jax, you didn't."

"No. I didn't. All I could think about was how much me and Tara have gone through. How much I love that woman more than life itself."

"I'm proud of you, Jaxson."

"Thanks, sis."

"So, you made it clear you're taken?"

"Yep. She was pissed but whatever. I told Nero to take care of most of it."

"Good. Let Gemma deal with that shit."

"You think Gemma is gonna cut her shit?"

"Nope. That wasn't an empty threat."

"Fuck."

"I don't want her at the wedding tomorrow."

"Your wish is my command."

I chuckled and played with my hair.

"Get some sleep, Jax."

"Yes, ma'am."

I watched him stagger off to bed and saw my phone go off.

**You awake?**

_Yep. Just dealt with my drunk brother._

**Sorry about that.**

_It's all good. Not the first time and doubt it will be the last time._

**I can't wait to see you tomorrow.**

_Yeah? Why is that?_

**Because I love you.**

_Sure you can wait until tomorrow?_

**Not sure. Step outside and see.**

I walked outside and quietly shut the door behind me. I saw Happy leaning on his bike and smiled.

"You aren't supposed to see the bride before the wedding."

"Yeah, yeah. Get that beautiful ass over here."

I walked over straight into his embrace. He kissed me passionately and gripped my hips. I sighed into his lips but pulled away.

"We're supposed to wait."

He glared at me but smiled.

"Fine. I had to see you though."

"I love you, Happy Lowman."

"I love you too, Savannah Morrow."

 


	30. It's Perfect

When Tara and I pulled into TM, it was barely recognizable. There were flowers everywhere and it almost looked like a forest. There were trees set up and lights strung through them. It masked everything from making it look like a garage. I had no idea who pulled it off, but it was perfect. I couldn't hide the smile on my face as Tara ushered me into a room in the back. We were running late, of course.

"Tara, it's okay."

"No. Let's get ready."

Lyla walked in and tossed her arms around me. I could see where her makeup was covering the scars from her attack. I frowned for a moment but her sparkling smile snapped me right out of it.

"Let's get you dressed!"

They got me in the dress and started on my hair and makeup. Lyla had insisted that they straighten my hair to show off the length. I couldn't remember the last time it was perfectly straight and that made me nervous. I decided keeping my eyes shut was the best option.

"Alright, sweetheart, open."

I smiled, knowing that Lyla had been brainstorming for days. My hair was straight but swept to the side. She had blended my foundation perfectly and put just enough blush to make my face glow. My lips were a dark deep red which of course matched my color scheme. I had thrown in some light blue for the club colors, but the red stood out the most.

I was shocked when I found my dress. Not only was it on sale, which Happy was pissed I didn't go all out for it, it fit perfectly. I was just the right height for it not to need any alterations or to be taken in or out. It was like it was made for me. It was simple with just a tiny train to it. I didn't need anything extravagant, just to marry the love of my life.

"You ready?" Lyla said quietly.

I looked at the two women with me and nodded with a smile. They walked out first to make sure all the guys were outside, and I followed. We walked to the doors of the clubhouse and they stepped out as the music started. Chibs walked in and smiled at me.

"You ready, darlin? You look perfect."

"Yeah. I'm ready. Thank you."

He extended his arm for me and I took it. He kissed the side of my head and we pushed the door open. Everyone that was seated in the parking lot, which didn't even look like a parking lot anymore, stood up. I keep looking at the ground, unsure of when was the right time to look up for Happy.

"You alright, lass?" He said quietly.

"Nervous."

"It's okay. When you're ready, just look up at Hap. He's all that matters."

I nodded and slowly raised my eyes up to him. He was wearing a nice long sleeve black shirt with his kutte over it. He looked nice and even wore nice shoes. I realized it was the first time I had ever really seen him in anything other than a white t-shirt. Once I worked up the courage I let my eyes meet his.

I felt tears sting my eyes. He had the most full and beautiful smile I had ever seen. His dark eyes were piercing still, but so full of love and adoration I could have melted. He took one step forward and I wanted to sprint in his arms, but I felt Chibs hold me tighter.

"Ya got the rest of ya life, lass. Let me get my moment."

I let out a nervous laugh and bit my bottom lip before looking back at Happy. Even to this day, I don't think I have ever seen that man so happy. It made all the pain and ache we had gone through disappear in an instant. I loved him more than words could describe and it all was leading up to this moment.

Chibs walked me up to him and kissed me on the cheek before placing my hand into Happys. He put his hand on Haps shoulder and nodded before taking his seat in the front row. I wanted to look at Jax and Tig behind him, but I just couldn't peel my eyes away.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey, handsome."

He led me over to the pastor and took both of my hands. Part of me wanted to get out of the sight of everyone watching, but his eyes kept me glued in the spot I was in. He just kept smiling at me and I wanted to live in that moment. I never wanted to forget a second of that day. I realized that the pastor was almost done talking when Happy spoke.

"Savannah, I knew the moment I saw you that you would change my life. I just had no idea how much that would be. You're like this giant bright sun in a very dark world. I never knew what it was like to have a best friend or to love a woman the way I love you. I will always love you and protect you in every way that I can. I love you, Savannah. Nothing makes me happier to know that I get to be your husband for the rest of our lives."

I felt the tears fall down my face and heard Tara and Lyla sniffling behind me. Tig was openly weeping behind Happy and Jax was looking up at the sky blinking.

"Happy. You have saved my life in more ways that even possible. You have literally and figuratively picked me up off the ground and shown me what its like to live again. You're a beautiful soul wrapped up in this hard exterior and I am so blessed that you let me in the way you have. You're the most handsome man I have ever laid my eyes on and though you'll fight it, I know that I am the luckiest person in the world to have you in my life. Now I get to steal your last name and be your wife for an eternity. I couldn't ask for anything more than that. I love you, Happy."

"Now unless there is anyone who has any objections, I now pronounce these two husband and wife." The pastor said happily.

"Hey! What are you forgettin Hap!" Chibs yelled.

"I promise to treat you as good as my leather, and to ride you as much as my Harley."

Everyone cheered out as I laughed and Happy pulled me in for a kiss. He held me close and I could feel him smiling behind the kiss.

"Hope you know you're not getting away now, woman."

"Couldn't get me to leave even if you wanted to, baby."

* * *

I stood outside marveling at how beautiful TM looked now that it was dark. The trees were all lit up and there were candles everywhere. Tara an Lyla confessed to setting everything up, knowing that I had been super distracted between Clay and Gemma.

After the ceremony there had been a DJ playing and everyone danced. I had even gotten Happy to dance with me, which was spectacular. I smile remembering how close he held me and whispered the song in my ear as we spun around. If I didn't know any better, I would have though everyone disappeared. It was just me and him in that moment and it was so perfect.

"You look happy, sis."

I turned to see Jax walking towards me. He put his arm around my shoulders and looked around.

"They sure did a nice job." He marveled.

"It's perfect. The whole day has been perfect."

"I love seeing you smile, Savannah."

"I love smiling."

We both chuckled and continued to look at the beautiful view.

"I'm sorry I can't spare Hap right now for a honeymoon."

"I don't need all of that. I'm just thrilled to be his wife."

"Well, you will be going someday. That I do promise. Okay?"

"If you say so Jax."

I heard someone walking up and turned to see Happy. He was smiling softly at me. Jax kissed the side of my head before walking away and patting Hap on the shoulder.

"Hey handsome."

"Hey, beautiful. Was wondering where you wandered off to."

"Oh you know, just calling all my clients to let me know I'm giving up being a hooker."

"Good. I'd hate to have to kill someone."

"You? Kill someone? What an odd concept."

I smiled as he kissed me and held me close.

"You ready to go home, wife?"

"Whatever you want, husband."

"Well, its like four in the morning."

He scooped me up and took me over to his bike.

"Hap, I'm wearing a dress."

"You'll be fine. It's long."

He helped me get on the bike and I laughed as I tried to hold it up. I decided to tuck part of it under myself so I didn't need to worry about it catching in the wheel. We took off and headed towards the house. Just as we were pulling in, my phone started ringing.

"You aren't answering that." Happy growled.

"It's Jax."

"Jesus Christ."

He motioned towards my phone and I answered it.

"Savannah, please don't kill me."

"What's wrong?"

"Remember that shooting?"

"Yes?"

"Kids mom is flipping out. Willing to go to the cops. I need your help."

"It's my wedding night." I whined.

"I know, Savannah. I know. I'm so sorry. But I need your wisdom or I'm gonna have to shoot her with enough drugs to shut her up. Permanently. Plus its already kind of the next morning."

I rolled my eyes and looked at Hap. He looked annoyed, but he understood club always came first. How I ended up wrapped in this shit as deep as I did was blowing my mind a little.

"Alright. Where do you want me?"


	31. Orange Jumpsuit Or Black Box

I had run inside and changed quickly into a pair of jeans and some riding boots that Happy had gotten me. He kept harping that I needed better riding gear if I was going to be on the back of a Harley all the time. I slipped on my leather jacket over my t-shirt and ran back out the door. He was just finishing up his cigarette when I walked out.

"Ready?"

"Yeah. Let's go."

I hopped on the back of his bike, wrapping my arms around his waist. We took off and we headed towards the address that Jax had given me. I knew he didn't want to call me but I could hear how desperate he sounded. We pulled up to the house and Hap parked just as the sun was fully rising. There was already a ton of people there waiting.

"I thought things were going to get better, Hap."

"They will, baby."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes, absolutely."

I saw Jax walk out and come to us.

"Sis, I am so sorry."

"How did you even get her out of there?"

"Nero got her out. We are so close to being legit. I can't let this shit blow back on us."

I nodded.

"She's been using again. Nero said she was clean for over nine months. There is literally nothing worse than a rat."

"A junky rat." Happy replied.

"Is Neros crew messed up with that shit?"

"No. Not anymore."

"I won't be around them if they are, Jax. I can't."

"I know, sis. Don't worry about it, okay?"

Jax went back inside and I took a deep breath.

"I get not wanting to be around it, but why so against it?" Happy asked quietly.

"It's how Adam used to drug me."

"Shit."

I nodded and crossed my arms. I felt him wrap his arms around me, pulling me close.

"You won't have to ever deal with that again."

"I know, Hap."

"Can we talk some more about it later?"

"Yeah. We can."

Jax walked back out and looked pissed just as my second cell rang. I answered it half way through the second ring.

_Hello?_

**Ah, you answered quickly, love.**

_What do you need?_

**Want to meet. Later today. Be there with Jaxson.**

_Alright._

**He knows where to meet. Congratulations by the way.**

_Yeah. Thanks._

I shut the phone and looked at Jax.

"Seriously? Do the Irish has like a sixth sense to fuck with you at the worst possible time."

"Yes" Chibs yelled from inside the window.

We all chuckled and I shook my head. I didn't realize I had said it as loud as I did.

"Who is going?"

"Hap, please don't be mad. I need you here. I'm gonna take Tig with me."

Hap hesitated but nodded. He kissed me before walking towards the house to get Tig.

"You guys okay?" Jax asked.

"Yeah. Just tired."

"You can ride with me."

* * *

We were back in the same barn that Jax had picked me up at. I wasn't exactly thrilled to be back there, but I was assuming that most of it was due to knowing the Irish would be there soon. I sat on a bale of hay with a huff.

"It's gonna be alright, doll."

"I hope so, Tiggy."

We heard vehicles pull up and I instantly made eye contact with Galen. He had another man with him and I quickly recognized him as the one who grabbed me at TM. He set down a few boxes with his guys and I assumed they were guns.

"Jaxson. This in Conner Malone. He will be handling things stateside with Savannah. Conner this is Savannah. Clay Morrows daughter."

The men talked back and forth about how Chibs was now the second man. He thought it was a good decision but I tuned out. I didn't care about what they were really saying. They started talking about the shooting and walked away. My mine was occupied with the memories from the night before and visceral need I seemed to have that involved Happy in a bed.

"Savannah. Come here, lass."

I popped up and walked over, trying my hardest not to roll my eyes.

"I can get another charter to pick up our slack. The IRA will still get their gun trade."

I watched Galen think and then look at me.

"Same deal, just different territory." Jax added.

"I'll take it back to the Kings. They might let you walk away if you're doubling the business."

"It isn't doubling."

"Yes it is. Your sister can keep running all of this for us. She can arrange it so we can still be in contact with those ya sell to right now."

"Galen, I thought this was temporary.." I said weakly.

"No, sweet girl. This is becoming very much so a business."

I felt the color drain from my face. My stomach was churning and I didn't know what to do.

"What is wrong, sweet girl?" He sneered.

"I'm not.. I'm just an old lady. Galen.. sir.. please. Please don't make me do this."

"Walk with me, Savannah."

I glanced up at Jax and he nodded, stepping aside for me to walk with the Irish man. We stepped out of the barn and walked for a minute before he stopped and sighed.

"I know this scares ya, but we need someone we can trust."

"Why do you trust me? Do you know the kind of man my father was?"

"I've heard stories."

"Then why trust me? Why even remotely think that I would be trustworthy?"

"Ya didn't grow up in this shite. Ya want to keep those ya love safe. Plus, ya would never need to worry about money."

"What does that mean?"

"Ya would be paid by the IRA for yer trouble."

"That isn't worth it if I end up dead or in prison."

"Any time there is a big meet, I'll make sure someone is here to help ya. Conner is staying state side as well. He will worry about getting the stuff here, you just make sure there is contact between us and the buyers."

"I am very uncomfortable with this."

"I know, but I know you can do this."

I hesitated but I could read on his face that he wouldn't take no for an answer.

"How do I know who to contact?"

"Jax can arrange for you ta meet everyone."

"Alright. I'll work it out with him."

"Good girl."

"Am I going to be doing this forever?"

"Get Conner trained once you know how to do all of this. Then I will work out how to get ya out of this."

"Do you mean that?"

"Yes. I had a good relationship with your father. I wouldn't do anything to mess with you."

"Okay."

"I'll be in touch after I get back to Ireland."

I watched him walk away and knelt where I stood. I felt my chest tighten up but I couldn't let myself totally lose it. I was terrified but he was right, I would do anything to keep my family safe. Even if that meant dealing in illegal gun trade for the Irish. I heard someone walking behind me. I was in tune enough to know it was Jax and Tig. Jax always had his distinct walk and Tig sounded like a wild hog barreling through the woods.

"Jax, how is it that SAMCRO getting out of guns means I just got thrown into them?"

"Savannah-"

"Don't. Just don't. It's too late. I'm stuck with this shit."

I looked up at him and felt guilty that he looked so upset. I stood up and brushed my pants off.

"I know you didn't mean to pull me into it. I know that. Just.. just let me be mad right now."

"That's what he told you? That you're stuck with this?"

"Yes. Until I get the ropes well enough to teach Conner. That could be years. It could honestly be never."

"We'll get you out of this."

"Yeah either in an orange jump suit or a fucking black box."

I brushed past him and head straight for the bikes. I was so mad I didn't stop though. I just started walking towards the main road not giving a shit if a car hit me at that point. I heard the bikes start up behind me and Tig caught up to me first.

"C'mon, doll. Hop on. I'll get you back to Hap."

I looked back at Jax trying to catch up to us and hopped onto his bike.

"You don't have a helmet."

"I don't give a flying fuck. Go."

He nodded and took off as soon as my arms were wrapped around his waist.

* * *

We pulled back into the house with Jax on our tail. I hopped off the bike and walked inside. Nero was pacing back and forth. I walked inside and walked past Happy to the couch. We heard a car pull up.

"Gemma." Happy rasped.

Jax walked out to deal with her and I felt my blood boil. I watched the girl come out with a shotgun screaming as she pulled the trigger. She screamed for everyone to drop their guns and they all ducked. I'm not sure if it was due to the fact that Gemma was there, the Irish had their hold on me or I was pissed at Jax but I stood up and walked right at her.

"Don't move!"

"No."

I stepped forward and yanked the shotgun out of her hands. She looked at me stunned for a moment before I punched her in the face, knocking her to the ground. I unloaded the shotgun quickly and set it on the table. Jax and Gemma walked in and looked just as surprised as the men who watched me stand up.

"Put her back in that fucking room. Take everything that could possibly be a weapon out."

I turned and looked at Nero and his cousin.

"If she does that shit again, ill fucking kill her."

Nero nodded and looked at his cousin. They both walked past me and carried her into the bedroom she was in.

"Nice one, baby." Gemma crooned.

"Get out."

She looked like she was going to say something back, but Jax started pushing her out. All the guys were staring at me as I stood there fuming. I closed my eyes, trying to squash some of the hate I was feeling deep in my chest. I looked over at the gun on the table and seriously contemplated going in and blowing her head off.

"Babe, let it go."

I looked over and felt the anger go down just a tiny bit. It was hard to be that mad with Happy in my sights. I pushed past him and right out the door. I knew he was just trying to calm me down but there was way too much shit that I was caught up in. I heard footsteps behind me and turned to see Jax.

"Sis."

"She's going to rat."

"I know."

"I should have blown her fucking head off."

"That's messy."

"What is going through your head then."

"Bad drugs. Maybe too much."

"You gotta get Nero in on this."

"Was just going to have Juice do it."

"Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me Jax?"

"What?"

"That guy is so fucking broken and you know it. He barely made it past the Clay shit alive. You make him do this and he's gonna lose it. You really want another rat?"

"Shit."

He ran his hands through his hair and looked back at the house.

"You're right."

"I know I am."

"It's worrying me how proficient you're getting at killing."

"Look who I married."

I walked back inside with him and straight to Nero.

"Nero, we need to talk."

"What's up Savannah?"

"She can't live. She's going to rat. I know she's your boys old lady, but she can't. It would take down everyone all in one swing. I need to worry about SAMCRO, my Irish problem and now you. I can't let three groups fall because she can't keep a needle out of her arm."

He looked down at the ground and called in his cousin. They spoke back and forth in Spanish but it sounded like it was going to escalate. He pulled a gun and put it to Neros forehead. Nero quickly grabbed it and shot him point blank between the eyes.

"I'm going to leave. You guys take care of the woman. She's got two other kids ya know? This shit is fucked up."

He walked out and I followed him. He hesitated at his vehicle and looked back at me.

"I'm sorry, Nero."

"I know. Me too."

* * *

After Happy and Chibs took care of the girl, we took off towards home. I usually loved being on a bike with Happy, but at that moment I just wanted to be alone. I was tired and ready to sleep for days. When we finally pulled into the driveway, he caught my arm as I tried to walk away.

"Savannah."

"Can we not right now? I am so tired."

"At least wait for me so we can go to bed together?"

I huffed out a sigh but waited for him to climb off his bike. He walked up to me and wrapped his arms around me.

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too."

He tossed me over his shoulders and carried me inside. I knew that I should be letting out a laugh and begging him to put me down, but instead I just laid there and let him carry me inside. He set me down in the bedroom and looked at me.

"I know you're tired babe but-"

"Just let me shower. Then I'll talk."

He nodded and I shed my clothes before walking into the bathroom. I let the water run for a minute before stepping under the stream. It was hot but it felt amazing. I finished up my shower quickly, knowing the sooner I got out and finished talking to Happy the sooner I could go to sleep. When I poked my head out I saw that he had set one of his t-shirts and a fresh towel on the counter. After drying myself and throwing the shirt on, I walked back into the bedroom.

"Hey, beautiful."

"Hey, handsome."

He pulled the blanket up, motioning for me to get into bed with me. When I climbed in, I stayed sitting up.

"If I lay down, I'm gonna fall asleep and I know you want to talk."

"Alright."

He pulled himself up so he was sitting next to me. I started playing with the edge of the blanket, trying to calm my racing heart.

"How did the meet with the Irish go?"

"Shitty."

"What did they say?"

"Well, SAMCRO is getting out of the gun business. But now I have to pick up the slack. Galen swears its temporary, but I'm not buying it."

"Shit."

"Yep."

"I'm so sorry."

"Jax got what he wanted. They're letting SAMCRO go."

"At what cost?"

"It doesn't matter to him. As long as the club is okay."

"That isn't true."

"Isn't it?"

I looked at him and he closed his mouth. I sighed and pulled my hair up into a bun.

"You never told me how Adam drugged you."

"I know."

"Why?"

"Because I see the look on your face when anyone mentions his name."

"Doesn't mean you can't talk about it."

"It's in the past."

"It still hurts you. I saw the way you reacted when you found out she was a junky. Were you hooked on it?"

"I wouldn't say hooked, but the withdrawals sucked. The high was.."

"Good?"

"It was great honestly."

"There's nothing wrong with feeling that way."

"I need to just stay away from it."

"It bothers you that much?"

"Some days."

"Savannah, you need to start opening up to me about this stuff. I'm your husband."

"You are one to talk."

"I know. I'll work on it. Right now I'm more worried about you.

"You don't need to worry about me."

"Little late for that, babe. Aren't you the one who said it would be like not breathing or some shit?"

He pulled me close to him and kissed me gently.

"We're going to keep you clear of junky whores and get you away from the Irish."

"You don't know that, Hap."

"I do. You always step up and do everything you can to keep everyone safe. Let me return the favor."

"I just want to sleep. It's been like.. forty eight hours since I have closed my eyes more than a few seconds."

He pulled me down and wrapped his arms around me. He was peppering kissed on my neck but I was so tired as soon as my eyes shut, I was asleep.


	32. Did You Even Try To Stop It?

I woke up the next morning to Happy already being gone. I frowned, but figured they would have church that morning considering what had happened. I recounted the previous forty-eight hours and cringed. I had an amazing wedding to the love of my life just to get called away to help kill a grieving mother and get pulled even deeper into the IRA illegal gun trade. I buried my face in the pillow and sighed until I heard my phone ring.

_Hello?_

**Morning, sleeping beauty.**

_Morning, Hap. What's up?_

**Mind coming into TM? Need to talk to you.**

_Yeah. Let me put some pants on, I guess._

**You don't need pants.**

_See you soon. Love you._

**Love you too.**

I rolled out of bed and started digging through my dresser to find something to wear. I was still exhausted but didn't want to look like a total sleaze ball at work. I let my mind run through everything that needed to be done. I was going to call the lawyer about finding a way to buy Gemma out and to draft us a lease agreement for the house. She had pissed me off enough to push me to that.

Just as it flashed through my head that my car was at Tara's, I heard the front door bell. I finished buttoning my pants and walked to the door, amused that Happy must have thought of the same thing. When I opened the door, I was yanked out and pushed against the outside wall.

"Savannah Morrow, you're under arrest for the disappearance of Adam Litmoth."

They dragged me to the car and standing behind it was a man with a long beard and long hair. The more I looked at him the more I realized I had been seeing him around.

"Sherriff."

Roosevelt turned around and looked at me. He didn't look happy about this situation.

"I'm sorry about this, Savannah."

"I would have just come down."

"I know. This is way above me though."

"Who is that?"

"Retired Marshall. His sister is the one Otto killed in Stockton."

"Oh, Jesus Christ. Can you at least call Happy?"

"Why not Jax?"

"Cause Happy and I got married two days ago."

"I'd say congrats but.."

"Just call him, please."

* * *

I had been sitting in an interrogation room for what felt like hours. Roosevelt had sat with me and chatted. He never asked me anything of importance though. I knew that Jax had issues with him before, but he seemed to be much more understanding. The doors swung open and the Marshall walked back in.

"If you'll excuse me, Sherriff."

Eli locked eyes with me before nodding and leaving. The man came in and turned his chair around before sitting down to face me. I sat there with a stone face, something I had picked up from my husband.

"Good morning, Miss Morrow."

"Not my name, you must have the wrong person."

"Ah, yes. I did see here that it is now Mrs. Lowman."

"Did you bring me in to congratulate me? How sweet. A card would have worked though."

"I see you inherited your mothers attitude."

"Had to get something from her."

He forced a smile and looked through his papers.

"Where is your dad?"

"I don't know. He was excommunicated from the club and took off."

"Where is Adam?"

"I don't know. The last time I saw him he drove a knife through my ribcage. Things got a little hazy after that."

"How do the Irish get ahold of you?"

"Irish? Only person I talk to from across the pond is Chibs and he's from Scotland."

"Do you have an answer for everything?"

"Seems so."

He looked at my face and shook his head.

"Did you know about Otto's plan to kill my sister?"

"Who?"

"Otto Delaney."

"Never met him."

"He's been in jail for a long time."

"Then how would I know him? I thought you brought me in about Adam? Is he missing?"

"Yes. He has been since he stabbed you."

"Probably realized the cops were after him."

"You think so?"

"No. I don't know him anymore. It's been a long time. Actually, I think I'm going to file a restraining order with Roosevelt here soon. With you digging around I'm afraid he might come back."

He rolled his jaw but painted a smile on his face.

"Probably a good idea Miss-"

"Mrs. Lowman. Thank you. Do you need anything else?"

"No, it seems that this was a waste of time."

"Why yes it was. Next time if you need to talk, just ask me to come in. I'll be calling a lawyer to see what I can do about you coming after me for no reason. Have a nice day."

I walked out of the room and immediately saw Eli smiling at me.

"Guys are waiting for you outside."

"Thanks, Eli."

He pat my shoulder and I quickly walked out the door to see most of the guys there. Happy immediately walked to me and pulled me into a hug.

"Jax, who the hell is that marshal guy?"

"He's been poking around trying to string the club up for his sister dying."

"He was digging into Adam."

"Don't worry, no one is going to find him." Happy growled.

* * *

I had been sitting in the clubhouse doing absolutely nothing for days. This new Marshall was following me around and we couldn't afford to have me caught up with anything. Galen had called and made a gentle suggestion that I lay low until someone could figure out a way to get rid of him. As much as I was pissed that I couldn't do much, the peace and quiet was nice. I had been getting back to my roots of telling croweaters and prospects what to do. Happy would come in every few hours and check on me, along with Jax. They could tell I was upset.

I had every reason to be. Nero had been arrested. I had a Marshall on my ass about Adam. Gemma was going to fight me in court about everything being signed over into my name and I was waiting on the Irish to get ahold of me. Shit sucked. To top it off, the friggen Nazi pricks were starting shit again. My family was in harmony, but everything else was horrible.

The guys had been out running around trying to figure out who the nazi assholes were that burst in there after Unser. I had offered to go with, but Jax shot it down before I could even finish my sentence. I was going from helping at every chance to glaring at the multiple gashes around the clubhouse.

"We're meeting with Galen."

I looked up to see Jax standing in front of me. I set my coffee down on the table, glad I was able to finish it before the shit started.

"He didn't call."

"Check the phone."

I looked down and saw that there was a text asking me to be at the meeting. I rolled my eyes and got up.

"Alright. I don't know why this phone can't have a real fucking ringer on it."

"Probably so people don't know you have it."

"Doesn't work if I don't know I have it either."

Jax laughed and walked me out to his bike. I took the helmet from him and quickly put it on.

"You really should just teach me how to ride. Would be easier than you having to pick me up constantly."

"Or I could just get you a car. Better yet you could use the fucking car that Clay got you."

"Yeah because nothing screams I'm important and should be a target like a brand new muscle car."

He laughed and put his hands up in defeat.

"Talk to Hap about it. Clay has a few bikes that you haven't done anything with yet. I'll have to look at them but I think he has a smaller one he had gotten for Gemma years ago. Might be something to teach you on."

I climbed on after him and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"Who else is going?"

"Chibs and Happy."

"Wish I was in a better mood for this."

"Well, you have about a half hour to get your ass in shape. You know Galen will throw a fit if he thinks you're being pissy."

I sighed and rest my head on his back. I missed riding with Jax without a purpose. It seemed like we always were running off somewhere for business and never just enjoying the moment anymore. I watched the town fly past me and worked on fixing my mood before dealing with the Irish.

* * *

We pulled up to the same barn the club always met the Irish at. I hopped off Jax's bike and opened up the doors. I was still in a really rancid mood, but I was trying to at least be able to fake it. I made a loop around the barn, checking for anything that looked odd. I didn't think that Galen would try to hurt me, but the Irish had a tendency of blowing things up when they got an itch.

"Anything?" I looked over to see Chibs doing the same thing as me.

"Not that I can see. I'm no expert though."

He chuckled and walked to the back door and knelt down.

"See this area?"

He pointed at the lining around the door.

"Yeah?"

"This is where they would plant something. Always around the doors. Doors are the easiest thing to set off without having to stick around."

I nodded, taking in all the information Chibs was giving me. He started showing me how things would look if it were actually rigged, when we heard vehicles pull in. We walked towards the door as Galen and his men walked in.

"So, how is the deal with your other charter picking up the slack."

"It isn't going to happen, Galen. They voted it down."

"That's unfortunate. I was hoping I wouldn't need to deal with you anymore."

"We aren't taking any more KG-9's. We can't."

"You aren't getting out of the contract and you will be taking more of them."

"Not going to happen."

"You don't have a choice."

Galen turned to speak to me, but Jax cut in front of him.

"Ya know, I know you don't like me. I know you have a problem because the priest died. Ya know what he told me though? My father wanted out of guns. He didn't see the IRA as having a cause anymore. There was just blood and money."

Galen rolled his jaw and swung at Jax. Jax dodged the punch and landed his own into Galens stomach. Chibs stepped forward and quickly pulled Jax away with Happys help, leaving me alone with Galen.

"Hands off my club, Galen." Jax said as they were walking out.

"SAMCRO will bleed for this."

Galen walked out of the barn and I chased after him trying to get him to explain. I followed him out to his SUV yelling for him to stop. As soon as he reached the door, he spun on his heels and grabbed me by my upper arms. He looked over at Jax trying to hold back Happy.

"Control your attack dog, Jaxson."

He looked back at me and tightened his grip when I tried to pull back.

"Come with me."

"What?"

"Get in this car right now and come with me. I'll consider the Sons debt paid."

"Galen, I just got married. My whole family is here."

I turned my head to look at Happy, but Galen snatched my face is his hands.

"I'll ask you again, Savannah. Just remember that their debt can be paid by your choice."

He crashed his lips into mine and I heard Chibs and Jax trying to hold Happy back. Galen let go of me, causing me to stumble back. He sneered at Happy and got back into the SUV, driving away. Happy was pulling me to him before I could even stand back up.

"Jax, what the fuck was that?" Happy growled.

"He asked me to go with him. Said that the Sons debt would be paid."

"That isn't fucking happening." Happy snarled back at me.

"I told him no, alright? Don't need to snap at me. I'm the one that needs to go scrub my lips off with a fucking brillo pad. Fucking gross."

Happys face softened a bit at my disgust and held me to his chest.

"I'm serious. I need a vat of acid to wash this nasty shit off."

The guys laughed at me as we got back on the bikes and head towards the clubhouse.

* * *

After scrubbing myself for at least an hour in the shower, I walked out into our bedroom. I had slept in this bedroom more times than I could even begin to count but something about us married made it feel different. I had a towel wrapped around me as I was digging around for clothes. I felt hands wrap around my waist and kisses started to pepper my neck.

"And just where do you think that is going to get you?" I asked.

Happy chuckled into my skin and started pulling my towel off. I let it fall and twisted around so I was facing him. He captured my lips into a slow passionate kiss. I felt his hands run my sides and I stopped him.

"As much as I would love to let this continue, I have to go."

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Conner is going to do an inspection at the warehouse. He wants me there so we have accountability. Phil and V-Lin are there too."

"Galen going to be there?"

"Not that I know of. Call came from Conner."

"Alright. Need a ride?"

"Mind dropping me off? I'm trying not to put any miles on the car so I can sell it."

"You really don't want it?"

"No. Not at all."

"Trade it in for something different."

"Or I could just sell it and donate the money to the poor or something."

He laughed and nuzzled my neck.

"You sure you have to go?"

"Yes. I'm sorry, Hap."

He kissed me and let me go to get changed. He sat down on the bed and watched me.

"How's shit between you and Gemma?"

"I honestly think it could only get worse if she tried to kill me."

"Ouch. That bad?"

"Yeah. She's convinced that Tara is trying to take the kids away and I'm helping. She's insane. Tara and Jax are doing great. Literally the only family issue that there is, is Gemma."

"Try talking to her?"

"I might. I would rather her just sell the damn business and give her the house."

"I think that sounds reasonable, babe."

"Yeah, but it's Gemma. She likes to demand her cake and eat yours too."

He laughed at me and motioned for me to come over. He pulled me onto his lap and tucked my hair behind my ears.

"I love you."

"I love you too. You know I'd never leave with Galen right?"

"I think you would do anything to keep those you love safe."

"I wouldn't just take off though."

"Don't even worry about it. We will get you free of Galen soon and then we won't even need to worry about it."

"Okay. Now I need to get going. I want to be there before Conner shows up."

* * *

I was sitting outside the warehouse with Phil and V-Lin. I never had much of a chance to meet V-Lin but he seemed like a nice guy. Phil had us laughing for at least an hour. He was incredibly sweet but knew how to crack jokes like you wouldn't believe.

"How have you and Hap been?"

"Good. Things have been a little weird 'cause of everything going on. But I know it will get back to normal soon."

"That's good to hear. The wedding was beautiful."

"You can thank Tara and Lyla for that. I just showed up."

"Then they know you really well. It fit you and Hap perfectly."

"Thanks, Phil. You think you're ever going to settle down?"

"Oh, I hope so. This is a great life, but I look at Jax and Hap. They have it all. Family and the life they love. I want kids and an old lady to go home to. I think that is just the greatest thing. Having a reason to live for."

I smiled at him and could see him having curly haired little kids running around.

"Have anyone in mind?"

"Oh, not really. I'm always running around so I never have much of a chance to talk to any of them. They're all gorgeous but I need a woman that I can talk to, ya know?"

"I understand. You're a good guy, Phil. I hope you find everything you're looking for."

"Oh, me too."

I smiled at him until I heard the SUV pulling up. I frowned, realizing it was the one Galen was usually in. It pulled up, and both Galan and Conner got out. Galen smiled at me before addressing Phil.

"Can you call Jax, please? Let him know we will be doing the exchange here. Also let him know that his sister is here."

"Yes, sir."

Phil dialed Jax and I looked at Galen. I had a sick feeling in my stomach. We NEVER did exchanges at the warehouse. It was dangerous and just plain bad business. I heard Jax's voice panic on the other end as Phil talked to him and I knew something was very wrong. Phil hung the phone up.

"Alright, I let him know."

"Great."

Galen and one of his guys pulled their guns and instantly shot both Phil and V-Lin between the eyes. Phil's blood sprayed across my face and I stifled a scream behind my hands. I looked down at them on the ground and felt the tears flow out of my eyes.

"Get the saw."

His guy walked away and he turned on me.

"Sorry, dear. This was necessary. You're going to stay right where you are and not make a peep. Alright?"

I nodded, knowing I needed to listen to the man in front of me. His man walked out with a saw and I was suddenly aware of what they were going to do. I dropped to my knees and watched in horror as they cut the two men I had just been speaking to, to pieces.

* * *

I must have blacked out, because I don't consciously remember most of what happened. I was vaguely aware of Galen talking to me and instructing his men, but I was trying to block it all out. He grabbed my arms, and pulled me up off the ground and held my face in his hands.

"I'm sorry you had to see this. It isn't something that has to happen often. I need the Sons to know just how important all of this is."

"Phil was my friend."

"I know. You aren't made for this world, sweet girl. Come with me. I'll keep you away from all the bloodshed."

"You caused all of this, Galen." I cried.

"Come with me, and it never has to happen again."

"I can't." I whispered.

"I'll come back to ask you again, soon."

He let go of my face and I crumpled back to my knees. I had no idea what they had one with the bodies at that point, but I couldn't bring myself to look. I covered my face in my hands and wept for the men that had just been slaughtered right in front of me. I heard the vehicles leave but for once I didn't feel relief when Galen was gone.

I felt alone.

I was terrified that he was leaving to go hurt more people that I cared about. I pulled the phone out of my pocket, wanting to beg him to come back. I would go with him if he promised not to hurt anyone else I cared about. Just as my finger was about to press the button, I heard bikes speeding towards me. I looked up and dropped the phone on the ground. Chibs was the first one to pull up and he dropped his bike to get to me.

"Savannah. Sweet lass come here."

He pulled me to him and started wiping at my face.

"Are ya alright?"

"Yeah. It isn't my blood."

"What the hell happened?"

I looked over at Jax who looked pissed.

"Galen showed up with Conner. Told Phil to call you. As soon as he hung up they put bullets between their eyes."

"Where are they now?"

I shook my head and Chibs pulled me back into him.

"Chibs, they hacked them to pieces, wherever they are."

"Christ."

I heard Jax and Happy swear from inside the barn and footsteps come back out.

"They took the guns. Left the KG-9's."

Chibs ignored Jax and wiped more of my face off. He didn't seem concerned with the guns, just with me.

"Alright Lass. Let's get ya back to the clubhouse yeah? Get you a good shower and a stiff drink."

He helped me to my feet but I felt shaky.

"What the hell did Galen say to you, Savannah."

Jax got inbetween me and Chibs.

"He said that you needed to get the message. Then he told me if I just went with him it would have never happened."

"Did you even try to stop it?"

"Stop it? Jax he didn't tell me he was going to blow their brains out first. I didn't get a fucking play by play."

"You said Conner was meeting you here."

"That's what I was told. Jesus Christ, Jax. Chibs, please take me home."

"No one rides alone."

I turned and looked at Jax.

"He isn't going to kill the person I'm on a bike with. If anything, Chibs would be the safest one in the world right now."

"I said no one rides alone."

"Then I'll fucking walk."

I started walking away and heard Chibs and Jax get into it. Chibs was telling him he needed to calm down and realize I wasn't the enemy and Jax was telling him to fall in line. I heard footsteps coming up behind me and a hand grabbed my arm, hard, spinning me around.

"You aren't going anywhere alone."

"Jaxson, leave me alone."

"You need to learn your damn place, Savannah."

"My place? MY PLACE? YOU put me in this FUCKING PLACE. YOU are the one that was so EAGER to get the club out of the fucking gun business that you tossed me in head first! Jesus Christ you sound like Clay."

"It isn't your fucking job to question what I do with MY club."

"No, it isn't, but it is my job to question your choices that affect me! Jax what if that was your fucking family!? You think Galen is just going to stop? The only reason I'm breathing is because he has some sick fucking infatuation with me. I just as easily could have been hacked up like Phil!"

"BUT YOU WEREN'T! God you're such a pain in my ass!"

"Then leave me the fuck alone! Go back to the fucked up path you were on. Fuck around with the whores you keep company with and let your psycho mother back in. Better yet, why don't you just let her kill your wife and take your kids just like she let Clay kill your fath-"

I was cut short by a sharp backhand to my face. I stumbled to the side, but stayed standing. I heard Chibs and Happy erupt behind us but I stayed focused on Jax. I felt blood start to pool up in my mouth, so I spit it on Jax's feet. He took a few steps back and looked back up at me, realizing what he had just done.

"Go back to your club, Jaxson. Because now you're just as dead to me as Clay is."


	33. You Get In A Fight With A Wall?

Chibs got me back to the clubhouse and into the shower. I scrubbed all the blood and dirt off me but couldn't help the memories flashing through my head. I held back throwing up a few times and ended up just sitting at the bottom of the tub. The water ran over me almost as quickly as my mind was racing.

The more my mouth stung, the more pissed off I was. My mind kept flashing back to when Clay told me to fall in place as well. Jax had been so furious that he would speak to me like that. Furious that Clay would put his hands on me. I ran my tongue along the cut and tasted blood.

I had no idea what to do with Jax. He was my brother and I loved him more than I ever thought we would. We fought like siblings just as much as we laughed. I was his moral compass and he was my push to be something more than the scared girl he picked up and whisked away into this world.

I was so mad though. I shouldn't have brought up John. It was a sore subject and one that I knew would piss him off. I was tired of the bullshit though. I couldn't do everything for him and I needed him to see how close to the line he was on. One small decision could spend his world spiraling down and take everyone with him.

"Water must be cold by now."

I looked up to see Happy leaning on the sink. He had a pile of clothes and a towel next to him.

"Yeah. It is."

He reached over and turned the water off. He held his hand out to me and I took it. After I stood up, he wrapped the towel around me and pulled me close.

"If I had known, I wouldn't have left you there."

"Then you would be dead too."

He tilt my head so I was looking at him.

"You think a few Irish pricks could kill me?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore."

I walked away from him and slipped on the clothes he had grabbed for me. I went to toss my hair up, but he grabbed me and started brushing my hair out instead.

"What are you doing?"

"If you put your hair up when its wet, it won't dry. Or you'll take it down and it will be all knotted."

"I don't care."

"I do. Now sit still."

He brushed through my hair gently as I watched him in the mirror. I looked tired. I didn't remember looking so worn down, but it made sense. It wasn't every day that I saw someone I cared about killed and hacked to pieces.

"One braid?"

"What?"

"You just want one braid?"

"You can braid?"

"I have cousins."

I smiled at him and nodded. He pulled my hair into three pieces and gently braided it before taking the hair tie off my wrist. He wrapped it around my hair and spun me around gently.

"Whenever you're ready to talk, we will."

I nodded, feeling guilty that I had snapped at him. He grabbed my jaw in his hands and tilt my face to the side.

"Gonna bruise where he hit you. Already started."

"Cut the inside of my mouth too."

"Explains the blood on his feet. What did you say?"

"I told him to just fuck off and let Gemma kill his wife like she let Clay kill John."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Probably shouldn't have said it."

He shrugged.

"He's on the roof."

"Okay?"

"Otto killed the Marshal. RICO is dead."

"Otto?"

"Guards killed him."

"Shit."

"Jax wants to talk to you."

I groaned but he turned me towards the door. I walked out and saw Tig had a bottle of whiskey in front of him. He held out a shot for me, but when I smelled the alcohol my stomach churned.

"Don't think my stomach can take much more, Tiggy. Thank you though."

He nodded and I walked over to the ladder, not sure if I was ready to talk to Jax at all. I looked up and sighed. I realized a year before, I would have been running for the hills. I contemplated it, but decided to start the short climb up the ladder.

* * *

Jax was sitting on the roof writing in his small notebook. I walked up quietly and sat down next to him, making sure I kept far enough away from him I didn't feel the urge to slap the shit out of him.

"You keep writing like you don't think you're going to be around."

"Yeah."

"Thought I told you to knock that shit off."

He shut the book and tucked it in his jacket. He glanced over at me and I saw he was sporting a black eye. I laughed out and pulled his head all the way over for me to see.

"You get in a fight with a wall?"

"Yeah. We'll go with that."

"Which one did it?"

"Hap. Can't say I'm even mad. He waited until we were done with club shit."

"Wasn't sure if it was him or Chibs."

"Nah, Chibs was the gut punch."

"Ouch."

I let go of his head and he ran his hand through his hair.

"Happy told me about Otto."

"Yeah."

"You alright?"

"The club did that to him. He was in there for a few years. We kept asking him to do more and more until he eventually got life. Then he begged for death."

"Sounds familiar."

He looked at me with a strangled expression.

"I'm so sorry, Savannah."

"I wish I could say that sorry cut it. You do shit without thinking of the consequences. You tear down everything then ask for forgiveness later. That crown must be awfully heavy."

He sighed and looked down.

"Can you talk to Tara?"

"About what?"

"Gemma is starting shit again. She is convinced that Tara is going to run."

I rolled my eyes but nodded.

"Yeah. I'll go pick her and the boys up. Lock down, right?"

"Yeah but I'll get her here tomorrow. I'm gonna call the Kings tomorrow. I want to get this shit straightened out. Need to find Conner too."

"Do what you have to do. I'm hands off for a day or so. I need a mental health break."

He laughed at me and took my hand.

"I love you, sis."

"Love you too, Jaxson. The next time to hit me, I'll break your fucking hand."

He nodded and I got up to head back downstairs.

"Do you need Happy for anything?"

"I'll give him the night off."

"Thanks, Jax."

* * *

I slid down the ladder and walked over to Happy. He was sitting at the bar with Tig and Chibs. The club had been getting smaller every time we blinked it seemed. The guys were close though and that made my heart happy.

"Ready for bed, babe?"

"Yeah. My stomach is killing me."

"Have you eaten?"

"No. I don't think it's a good idea. I just want to curl up with you."

"Want to go home?"

"We can just stay here."

He kissed my lips and said goodnight to the guys. He scooped me up and carried me over to our bedroom, pushing the door open with his foot. He set me down on the bed and slipped his clothes off, staying only in his boxers. I tossed my pants off and climbed over to my side of the bed.

"I think this is the first time we've gone to bed and not fallen right asleep." I laughed.

He climbed in next to me and yanked me over so I was close to him.

"It's also been days since we got married and I still haven't fucked my wife yet." He growled.

I laughed out as he yanked me so I was straddling his waist.

"I love when you call me that." I purred into his ear.

"My wife? Better get used to it. It's never going to change."

I laughed again as he nipped at my neck and gripped my hips. I ground my hips against his waist and he growled as he tightened his grip.

"You're driving me wild."

"I think it's just that your horny."

"No, I'm fucking ravenous. You've been taking your birth control?"

"Yeah. I am so not ready for a kid."

"And I am so not wanting to put a condom on."

He pulled my shirt off and slipped the hair tie off my braided hair as I laughed. I shook my hair out, letting my long brown hair fall down my back. He slipped his boxers off and quickly pushed me down on top of his hard cock. I moaned out at the sensation as he captured my lips with his. I slowly started riding him as he moved his lips against mine.

"You are so beautiful, Savannah."

I felt my face flush as he looked into my eyes. His hands were helping guide my hips. Happy hated not having control, so even when I was on top he had to have some type of hold on me. I looked down, letting my hair fall in my face. His hand moved to my neck, forcing my face back up.

"Don't hide your face, baby. Look at me."

I felt my face turn even darker as he stared into my eyes. Eye contact was still hard for me some days. I was a much more confident woman than I was when Happy and I first met, but I still found him telling me to look at him almost every time we had sex. His gaze was intense but I loved it. I picked my head up and locked my eyes with him.

"There are those beautiful brown eyes."

I kissed him passionately as I continued to roll my hips. He growled out in frustration and flipped us over, never missing a beat. He pinned my hands above my head and started to slam into me. I tilt my head back as my back arched. Happy growled, spurred on by my moans, and lightly gripped my throat.

"Cum for me, Savannah. Let go."

I bit my lip in defiance, and he tightened his grip.

"I said let go." He growled.

My hands shot up to his biceps as I dug my nails in. I felt my body start to shake and my face flushed with heat. Happy slammed into me a few more times before I felt my body fly over the edge. He finished soon after, collapsing to my side. We laid there breathless.

"Was that worth the wait, Hap?"

He pulled my body flush with his and kissed me.

"No. I hate waiting. I would be happy with being inside of you all the time."

"So, it wasn't good?"

"No. It was great. Like always."

I laughed as he pulled the blanket on top of us. I nestled into his chest and fell asleep with a smile on my face.

 


	34. No, But I Know His Type

I woke up the next morning to an empty bed. I knew Hap would need to go on club shit, so I wasn't surprised. I checked my phone to see a text from him telling me that he loved me. I text back quickly and head out to the kitchen to grab some coffee. Chucky was standing there looking lost.

"You okay Chucky?"

"Yeah. We just ran out of soda. Someone will need to make a run."

I put my hand on his shoulder and he finally looked at me.

"You were Otto's friend, right?"

"Yes ma'am. He kept me safe in Stockton and asked the guys to protect me outside of it."

"He must have really loved you then."

"You think so?"

"Yeah. The guys only protect the people they care about."

"Did you know Otto?"

"No, but I know his type."

He gave me a sheepish smile.

"I accept that."

He walked out and started asking the women on lock down if they needed anything. I smiled at Tara, seeing that she had shown up early.

"Hey, Tara."

"Hey. All the guys are out?"

"Yeah. Jax tell you anything?"

"Told me Phil and V-Lin are dead."

"Yeah."

"Know what happened?"

I paused, not knowing how much Jax wanted her to know.

"He told me to talk to you about it. We didn't have much time to talk last night."

"Oh. Yeah. I uh, I saw it all. I was there. I'm not really wanting to talk about it much yet."

"Oh, Savannah. I am so sorry."

"It's okay. Help me behind the bar in a few minutes? I need to go talk to Gemma first."

"Yeah. Okay. Need anything else done around here?"

"Just make sure Chucky doesn't lose it. Him and Otto were close."

Tara nodded and walked around, talking to the different women. I smiled at how forward she was with everyone. It was like when she solidified her spot with Jax, she became so much more comfortable being in the clubhouse around everyone. I loved seeing her belong exactly where I knew she should be.

* * *

After taking one drag off a cigarette and deciding I didn't want it, I walked towards the office. Gemma didn't come in often, but we were on lock down. She was still a target but she had been hiding in the office since she got there. I walked in and she was looking around, confused.

"Most of that should be done."

"Seems that way."

She was answering me shortly but nothing I wasn't expecting.

"Can we talk?"

"Go ahead, Savannah."

"I said we, not me."

She looked up from the desk and turned towards me. I sat down on the couch and sighed.

"I don't want to fight this shit in court."

"Then don't."

"I do want the business. I don't want your house though. You and Clay built that life together. I don't feel right taking it or making you pay rent."

"Tell me what you want."

"I'll buy you out of the business and hand the house over to you."

She sighed and pushed her glasses of her face.

"I'll just sign the business over to Jax. Would that be acceptable?"

"As long as he's okay with it."

"I'm sure he will be. Get the paperwork together and I'll sign."

"Okay. I'll call my lawyer today. She might be able to stop by later today and we can get this shit done. I'll have her bring the paperwork for the house too."

I got up to walk away but she stopped me.

"Savannah, this doesn't change anything."

"I know it doesn't."

"I know you and Tara have something up your sleeves. I don't trust you and I doubt I ever will."

I spun around and looked at her.

"You know Phil and V-Lin are dead right?"

"I heard."

"Do you also know that they were killed and hacked to pieces right in front of me?"

She gasped and tried to recover, but I could tell she wasn't expecting it.

"Your life isn't the only one in existence, Gemma. Cut the shit. All you're doing is pushing everyone away when its obvious that you need your family more than ever."

I turned and walked away before she could say any more. I felt guilty for telling her that in such a spiteful way, but I was getting really tired of her shit.

* * *

I went back into the clubhouse and found Tara behind the bar, drinking some water. I shook off the negative feelings that Gemma always seemed to give me and joined her.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just shaking off the warm and fuzzies Gemma always gives me."

She laughed and looked around.

"What needs to be done?"

"Gemma is handing over the business to Jax I guess. I wanted to just buy her out but she said she would just sign it over to him. Think he will go for it?"

"I don't think it will be a problem. You own majority in it anyway don't you?"

"Yeah. It would be sixty-forty. If he wants to split it half and half I will though."

"Just talk to him. I don't see it being a problem. I would offer if he turns it down, but I doubt Gemma would sign anything over to me."

"Got that right. Alright I want to clean back here. Take everything out and really clean it. I don't remember it ever being done since I've been here."

"Oh, gross. I don't think I've ever seen it being done either. Even when I was just a kid running around here."

We laughed and got to work. It took the better part of the day to move everything out of their designated places and clean. It smelled horrible, but we laughed saying that it didn't smell much worse than a Friday night. Some of the hang arounds were helping clean up everything we brought out and I thanked them for it. I knew they would jump my husbands bones if given the chance but at that moment I appreciated them.

"You never clean the house this much."

I popped my head up to an amused Happy and Jax sitting at the bar.

"When was the last time this was cleaned? Like really cleaned?"

The two men looked at each other and shrugged, eliciting groans from both Tara and myself.

"So, Jax."

"Yes?"

"Gemma doesn't want to sell. She wants to just hand over her part to you."

"So we would own a business together?"

"Well, I would own the majority, but yeah."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Alright I'll go for it."

"Cool. The lawyer is coming over in a few minutes so we can sign everything."

"Alright. When she leaves we need to talk."

I nodded and went back to cleaning. Tara and I giggled as we cleaned and it felt great to have fun, even if we were scraping twenty-year gunk off the floor.

* * *

I thanked the lawyer and held onto the packet of papers. I watched her leave and Gemma get in her own car and take off. I felt someone come up and stand next to me.

"I'm kind of surprised you just signed the house over."

I glanced at Jax and back to the parking lot.

"I don't want anything from her. I just want her gone."

"Maybe now she will go with Nero."

"He's leaving?"

"He wants to move away. Has this huge property that would be good for his kid."

"She still thinks me and Tara are conspiring against her. She isn't going to let go of what little hold she has on everyone here."

He nodded and lit up a cigarette.

"Want one?"

"Nah. My stomach still feels off from yesterday."

He nodded and set the pack down next to him.

"We found Conner. Took him and a few of the guys to the warehouse. Called the Kings and tried to convince them how bad Galen is."

"Sure that's a good idea?"

"Why?"

"I think Galen is back in Belfast. He easily could have been there when you called."

"I don't think so. It didn't sound like it."

"Well, hopefully not. When are you supposed to hear from them?"

"Meeting at the table at eight."

"It's almost time then."

"Yeah. Gonna head in and sit down. All the guys should just be waiting for me to get in there."

"Go ahead, King. Go save your knights of the Reaper table."

"You're so fucking lame."

He kissed the side of my head as he walked in. I followed him in and helped Tara put the rest of the stuff back behind the bar. I happened to look down and saw the burner phone ringing.

_Hello?_

**Savannah. Are you at the clubhouse?**

_Yeah. Had a meeting with a lawyer and now cleaning. Why?_

**I need you to get out of the clubhouse.**

_What? Why?_

**Get. Out. Now.**

I looked down and saw that it was two minutes to eight. I ran over and burst the chapel doors open and saw a pen with shamrocks on it. I made eye contact with Jax and we both started screaming for everyone to get out. He sprint past me to get Abel out of the back as I pushed everyone else out. I followed Jax out with Chibs on my heels. We no sooner got out of the door and the whole clubhouse exploded. Jax had gotten to Tara. They each had one of the boys and were holding them close.

"Jesus Crist."

I looked over at Chibs who was laying on the ground. I could feel the heat on my back from the explosion and groaned.

"You alright lass?"

"I think so."

I looked down to see my phone was still connected to Galen. I held it up to my ear.

_What the fuck was that for?_

**Glad to hear you made it, Savannah. I'll be in contact.**

I heard the phone click and I tossed it across the parking lot.


	35. The Family Punching Bag

Jax had ordered everyone close to the club to his house, and everyone else up to Diosa. He figured the kids could get some sleep and there was enough room for everyone to be comfortable or safe at their respective places. I helped Tara get the kids situated and she pulled me aside.

"Are you okay, Savannah?"

"Yeah. I was just a little closer to the explosion than everyone else."

She nodded but still seemed unsure.

"You alright?"

She looked around and made sure no one was around.

"I haven't told Jax yet, but I'm pregnant."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Do you think he's going to freak out?"

I paused.

"Honestly, I don't know. What I do know is that you're giving him another person to love and care for. That is never a bad thing."

She had tears in her eyes and I pulled her close.

"The last time I found out before he left for Belfast. I considered getting an abortion because he had broken up with me when they took Abel."

"This isn't last time, Tara. Head home and help everyone get comfortable. Jax will know soon. Now is the right time."

She nodded and hopped into the van with the kids. Happy pulled up on his bike and held his arm out. I let him hug me and kiss my cheek.

"ill be there soon."

He nodded and pulled out after Tara. I looked over and saw Jax and Chibs walking into the clubhouse. I followed in, but didn't say anything. They were where the Chapel once was. My breath caught in my throat realizing that if they hadn't gotten out, they would have been dead. We all would have been.

"This is my fault." Jax said.

Chibs looked at him then walked over to where the gavel was. He picked it up and looked at Jax.

"Let's fix it, yeah?"

Jax nodded and looked back at me.

"How did you know?"

"Galen called me telling me to get out of here."

"He had to have known you would tell us."

I shrugged.

"I don't know anymore, Jax. I really don't. We all could have died."

"Aye."

Chibs didn't look happy, but he wasn't one to totally lose his mind on anyone.

"Chibs, you know the Irish. What do we do?"

He sighed and looked at me.

"I think ya need to call them. They gave the okay for you to work for them. They're gonna listen to you."

"I can't call them and say "Hey, Kings, nice to meet you. You almost fucking killed me and everyone I care about today" though."

"Actually, that might work. Explain the KG-9 issue and the fact that you are the primary owner of TM. They won't care about Jax being involved, but they don't like to screw their own people over."

I sighed and pulled out my phone.

"I need the number, Jax."

He rattled it off to me and I dialed it. It rang twice before I heard the click of it being answered.

**Savannah. We weren't expecting a call from you.**

_I hope this isn't wrong of me to do._

**You are more than welcome to call. What can we help you with today?**

_Well, I own sixty percent of TM auto and that is now in charred pieces on the ground._

**We were unaware that it was your business.**

_Clay handed it over to me. I understand that you're mad at Jax, but-_

**We never sanctioned a hit on the Sons.**

_Is now an okay time to talk?_

**Aye. Seems like we have a bit to discuss.**

* * *

I got off the phone and walked out of the office. It was well past dark and the two men had waited for me. I sighed and looked at them before walking over.

"Well?"

"They had no idea about the hit. Also, had no idea about the KG-9's. That kind of heat isn't good for anyone. Galen just kept telling them I was eager and ready to take over for the sons."

"Are they pissed?"

"I still need to work some things out with them, but Galen is not in their good graces right now."

"He going to retaliate against you?"

"I don't think so. You did the right thing by not killing Conner. Showed you aren't looking for a war."

"Lets get to the house. Hap is there waiting for you."

"Is everyone else there?"

"Most of the guys are up at Diosa. Tig and Rat will be at the house though. Rat's girlfriend is there too."

I climbed onto the bike with Chibs and realized just how tired I was. It had been a hellish few days and I was ready to sleep for as long as possible.

* * *

I woke up curled up on the couch with Happy. I had filled him in on everything I had talked to the Irish about but fell asleep soon after. We had moved so he was laying down and I was on top of him. I kissed his cheek a few times and he chuckled as he woke up.

"Good morning."

"Morning."

"You seem cheerful."

"My family is alive and I woke up with you. Nothing else really matters right now."

He smiled at me and pulled me close so he could kiss me. I smiled as I pulled away and popped up off the couch. Tara had stopped at the store on the way home and grabbed a few pregnancy tests. She already had the blood test done, but she knew that Jax would appreciate the physical test even more.

"Where the hell are you running off to?"

"Bathroom. Don't follow."

I knocked on the door to Tara's room and she poked her head out. Jax was awake with Thomas in the bed and looked at me like I was crazy.

"Morning Jax. Stealing your wife. Thanks."

I snagged Tara out and we slipped into the bathroom quickly. She pulled out a test and took it while I brushed my hair out.

"I'm gonna need to get my hair trimmed. There are singe marks all over."

"Wonder if the guys will let us go to the salon."

I shrugged and looked over as she set the test down on the counter. I blinked and it was showing positive. I smiled at her and picked it up. We heard Jax walk by so I hid it behind me, just in case.

"You gonna tell him?"

"Yeah. Think I'll just go out and hand it to him."

"He's gonna flip."

We laughed and I saw that she still had a bunch more tests.

"Why did you get so many?"

"I always get more than one. Hey, why don't you take one?"

"Why? So both of our husbands can have a heart attack?"

"Yeah! It will be funny and surprise Jax even more."

I switched places with her and took the test quickly, more focused on how I was going to fix my hair without cutting it all off. I set the test down on the counter and went back to flipping through my hair.

"Uh, Savannah?"

"Yeah?"

"Why are both the tests positive?"

"What?"

I snatched them both up. Sure enough, they were both showing two lines. I set them back down exactly where they were and sat down on the tub.

"Did you have any idea?"

"No. I mean I've been more tired and emotional but I've seen some really nasty shit. Seeing Phil and V-Lin then we all almost got blown up."

"Have you had any symptoms?"

"Food was making my stomach churn and I haven't been able to smoke a cigarette but I attributed it to all the stress."

"That popped up pretty quickly. I have an appointment for an ultrasound today. I'll text Margarete and see if she can fit you in at mine too."

I nodded and fidgeted with the test Tara handed me.

"The last time I told him I was pregnant he left me."

"This is so different, Savannah. Just like you told me. Come on. We can tell them together."

I nodded as she took my hand and led me out to the living room.

* * *

I sat next to Happy as Tara broke the news to Jax. She handed him the test and for a good thirty seconds, he didn't react. He took the test from her and looked at her.

"You're pregnant?"

"Yeah."

Jax pulled her into a hug and I watched as a smile formed across his face.

"Like, seriously? We're having another baby?"

"Yes, Jax. I just took the test. I took a blood one a while ago but I know how you are with wanting to see it first-hand. That's why Savannah snagged met his morning."

"How far along?"

"I don't know yet. I have an ultrasound later today."

Jax's face fell and looked over at Happy.

"We have to go up to meet with some of the other charters. Our move to get out of guns doesn't just effect Redwood."

"It's okay, Jax. I'm sure Savannah can go with me."

"Absolutely."

I forced a smile as she looked at me. I knew I needed to tell Happy, but the room felt like it was caving in on me.

"I'm gonna step outside for a little while."

I rushed out the back door and walked over to the bench Jax had put in the back yard. Part of me was hoping that Tara would just tell Happy so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I couldn't take him being mad at me or leaving me again. Everything in my life just didn't make sense without him in it.

My mind flashed back to the last time I held a pregnancy test. Even though Opie and I had gotten into it, he was still one of the first people I told. He had even known before anyone else. I worried that someone else had figured it out, but no one had said a word. I figured if Tara hadn't noticed, no one else would have.

I missed Opie. Not in the way everyone probably thought I did. The last month or so that we spent together was a dark time for both of us. We spent it in a drunken haze. What stuck out the most to me was when we would just find comfort in watching a stupid show or that hazy few minutes where we were somewhere in between asleep and awake. It was the only time we didn't have to worry. I wasn't sure if it was due to the alcohol still coursing through our veins or it was him, but I had very seldom felt that relaxed when I first woke up since then. I sighed.

"Hey."

I looked up to see Happy walking towards me. He sat down on the bench next to me and leaned forward, looking at me.

"Wanna tell me what's up?"

"Not really."

"I wish you would. You pretty much just ran out of the room."

"Have a lot on my mind I guess."

"You upset she's pregnant?"

"What? No. Oh god no. I'm thrilled for her. I think it's what her and Jax need right now. Will help keep Jax's head on straight through all of this."

"Then what's up?"

I hesitated and looked at him.

"You have to promise me something."

"What?"

"Let me tell you everything and promise you won't freak out."

"Alright. Not that I freak out often. Go ahead."

I pulled out the test from my pocket and handed it over to him, but kept my eyes on the ground. I felt him take the test gently from my hands as my heart was thumping in my chest.

"Did you know you were?"

"No. I thought I was just off from everything that happened. I took one to prank you with but.."

"But you pranked yourself."

I looked over at him and saw he had a soft smile on his face. He pulled me closer to him and took my face in his hand.

"You're afraid I'm going to leave."

I nodded and looked at the ground.

"I know things are different now, but we didn't talk about this. This wasn't in the plan."

"I think if we've learned anything in the past few days, nothing goes according to plan."

"I guess you're right. Are you mad?"

"Not at all. You alright with it?"

"I don't know. Still kind of processing it. Tara got ahold of the hospital and they can do an ultrasound quickly when she gets hers done."

"Sorry I can't be there."

"It's alright. I think I just need time to process, ya know?"

"Yeah."

He held me close and moved his hand to my stomach. I laughed at him and moved so I could see him.

"Hey, just cause they're in you doesn't mean I can't hold my kids."

"Woah, kids? There better be just one in there."

"Twins runs in my family. I'm telling you there are two."

"I will seriously kick your ass, Happy."

* * *

I watched as the tech ran the ultrasound want across Tara's abdomen. After a few seconds a heartbeat rang out in the office. I quickly pulled out my phone and recorded the small shape on the screen with the heartbeat.

"Jax will want to see that."

"Yeah, he will. He didn't get to see any of Thomas' ultrasounds and I doubt he was there for any for Abel."

"Well, he will be there for this one."

The tech printed out pictures for Tara and handed them over.

"Seems like you're around twelve weeks, Doctor Knowels."

"Wow. I figured I was at least eight."

The tech smiled at her and gestured for me to sit down.

"Do you have any idea how far along you are? We usually use the wand for early pregnancies."

"I honestly have no idea."

"Alright. We will try this one and if it doesn't work, we will do the intravaginal one."

I nodded and flinched as she put the gel on my stomach. She pushed the wand down and Tara gasped. She reached over and hit a button quickly. I went to sit up but she motioned for me to stay down.

"What's wrong? Why can't I hear the heartbeat?"

Tara whispered to the tech and received a nod back. Tara turned the screen so I could see it but I was having a hard time seeing what it was. It looked way different than the one Tara had. She pressed a button and a weird sound came out.

"What is that? Am I pregnant with an alien?"

"See this right here?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. That's the head, the body, the legs and arms."

"Okay."

"Then over here is a head, a body, legs and arms."

"Are you kidding me?"

"The heartbeat sounds weird because we're hearing two. They're in the same sac so I'm assuming they're identical."

"He told me I was pregnant with twins."

"Guess daddy knows how many babies he has."

I stared at the screen and handed my phone to Tara for her to take a video. I looked at the screen and suddenly everything shift for me. Life wasn't about just surviving anymore. I needed to protect those little lives inside of me.

"It's a little harder to determine twin size, but it looks like they're measuring around ten weeks. You might be a little further along than that though."

"Looks like there are going to be three babies around the same time."

Tara laughed and took my hand. I felt so fortunate to have someone like Tara in my life to keep me sane. She was more than I ever could have asked for when it came to a sister in law and best friend.

* * *

I had been relaxing at home most of the morning. Happy was back, but he had called telling me they were helping someone with their nephew. I was too tired to ask for an explanation but relayed to him that I would be heading in to see Tara soon anyway. We had a lunch date but she was busy so it would just be in her office. I knew I needed to go check things out at TM, but until the insurance company got back to me I would just sit there and stare at the wreckage.

I pulled into the hospital driveway and set up the parking pass Tara had given them. I had a feeling Margaret still wanted to offer me a job, but had no idea how that was going to work since I dropped my classes. I had offered to pay the hospital back for everything but Margaret made it all work out apparently. I walked in and straight up to Tara's office.

"Hey. Food is on the table over there."

Tara pointed at the table by the wall but didn't look up from her papers.

"What's wrong?"

"Gemma. She text me saying that Wendy told her something. She's in a blind rage."

"Do you want security to stop her?"

The door burst open to a livid Gemma. She slammed the door shut behind her and locked it. I stepped in front of Tara and stood my ground.

"I knew the two of you were up to something!"

"Gemma, what are you talking about?"

"Wendy came to me and told me all about your damn plan. How you two are going to take the boys and take off. How the two of you are going to raise those boys away from this."

"Gemma, why the hell would I get married just to take off? Don't you think I would have done that years ago?"

"I think you're a fucking whore. Both of you. You snaked your way into the good graces of the two men that could shut your bullshit down."

"Gemma, you need to leave."

She stepped forward and got right into my face.

"No, Savannah. YOU need to leave. I never should have sent them to get you."

"You're right. You probably would have liked it better if I was dead. What is it you say? Everyone should drown their baby girls in the bathtub?"

Her fist connected with my stomach and I dropped to the ground. Tara yelled out and the office door whipped open to security and User standing in the doorway.

"She'll be fine. It's not like she's pregnant." Gemma sneered.

"You better hope that she still is, Gemma. Security, get her out."

Gemma looked back down at me and her eyes widened. We hadn't told anyone yet. I had wanted to wait until it was the right time. Unser helped me to the chair next to me as security dragged Gemma away. For the first time in months, Gemma was silent.

* * *

Happy rushed into the room and came right to my side. He took my hand and kissed it.

"What happened?"

"Gemma came in flipping out. Wendy apparently told her that Tara and I were leaving with the kids."

"Why would she say that?"

"I don't know if she even did or if Gemma is just losing it."

"What did she do to you."

"She punched me in the stomach. I'm waiting for the ultrasound tech to get here."

"Jax is outside."

"Him and Tara can come in. I'm sure Jax is losing his mind.

"Just a bit."

Happy opened the door and Jax came flying in with Tara on his heels. He came right over to me and took the seat Happy was in.

"Tara told me what happened. Are you okay?"

"Still waiting for the ultrasound tech. Getting awfully sick of being the family punching back though."

He looked back at Tara and she nodded before walking out the door. He looked back at me and took my hand.

"Tell me what you want me to do, Savannah."

"She might have killed my kids, Jax."

"Kids?" Jax and Happy said in unison.

The ultrasound tech walked in with Tara and asked Jax to move. He got up and stood with Tara while Happy moved to my other side. She put the gel on my abdomen, which was starting to bruise. Instantly, the strange heartbeat sound rang out in the room. She moved the wand around for a moment but exhaled.

"Both still have strong heartbeats and seem okay. Doctor Knowles can confirm, but I am pretty sure you were hit above where your uterus extends."

"That's what it looks like. You need to rest for a few days though. No running around and try to keep the bending down to a minimum." Tara added in.

She turned the screen so Happy could really see it and he leaned forward.

"So, twins huh?"

"Yeah. Guess you were right."

"We're gonna need a bigger house."

"And a restraining order." Jax added.

He moved back to where he was once the tech moved and crossed his arms.

"We're done with this. Gemma hurt my family for the last time. She already signed the business over and you gave her the house. There is no reason for her to be in any contact with any of us. I'll talk to Roosevelt and see if he can push two restraining orders. I don't want her near anyone that I care about."

Happy nodded in agreement as Jax walked out. Tara followed behind him, shutting the door as she went.

"Are you okay?"

Happy's voice was softer now that everyone else was gone. He cradled my face in his hand and ran his thumb across my cheek.

"I think so. I was just scared that.. that Gemma was succeeding in ripping away everything from me that matters."

"She isn't going to take shit. We will get that order of protection and make sure you and the little ones are safe."

I nodded as he kissed my forehead. I wanted to believe that everything he was saying was true, but I knew that Gemma wouldn't rest until she got her way. That scared me more than anything else.


	36. Pray That He Forgives Me

I was sitting at TM trying to sort through the paperwork that needed to be done. I had stayed away for two days, making sure I rested. I sighed as I looked over at the clubhouse. I had already refunded everyone their money even if the work for their vehicle was done and instructed the guys to finish all the vehicles they had left over.

"Ya look like ya need a rest, lass."

"Morning Chibs."

"Who dropped ya here?"

"Hap did this morning before going to meet with Jax at the ice cream place."

"Should ya be alone?"

"Galen doesn't want me dead."

He hummed in agreement and sat on the couch.

"When ya gonna hear from the insurance company?"

"They couldn't find any trace of a bomb. Said it must have been faulty gas lines."

"Eli help with that?"

"He walked through with them and told them what he found."

"They gonna pay out then?"

"Yeah. Just gonna take a while to re-build. Even longer to re-build the relationship between TM and the community."

"Change the name and make it clear you took over? Host an open house or something."

"That's actually a really good idea, Chibs."

"See, I'm good for something!"

He kissed the top of my head and walked away. I heard bikes roll into the driveway and looked up to see Jax and Happy. I stepped out as they backed their bikes into their spots and walked over to me.

"Morning, sis."

"Morning Jax. Thought you two had a ton to do today."

"We do. I think we figured out a way to get Patterson off our back."

"The DA?"

"Yeah. She's still going hard. I went and talked to her though. Got the tail off me and promised to hand over Galen."

"How the hell are you going to do that?"

I noticed Happy wouldn't look at me. I looked back at Jax and he ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm too tired to deal with this back and forth bullshit, Jax. Just tell me what's going on."

* * *

**Savannah, nice to hear from you.**

_Is that deal still on the table? If I go with you will the Sons debt be paid?_

**Yes. I will consider them free from the IRA and all the gun trade. Have you changed your mind?**

_Promise me you won't hurt anyone else I care about._

**I promise.**

_I'll text you the address where you can pick me up from._

* * *

I sat on the front steps to my home waiting for Galen. My chest ached knowing that I had no idea when I would be there again. Happy had refused to say goodbye to me, saying that he needed to get to work. Jax had assured me he was fine with it, but I knew my husband. He was far from okay with it but his loyalty to the club assured that he would never say a word.

I saw a black SUV pull up and grabbed my bag. I walked towards it and the door swung open. I climbed in to see a smiling Galen.

"Savannah, glad you changed your mind."

"Just as long as they will all be okay."

"I will not harm any of them."

I nodded and handed him my cell phone. He tossed it out the window with a sick smile.

"Still have your burner?"

"Yes."

"Good. That's the only phone you will need from now on. We're going to be staying in the area. The Sons have just a bit more to do for me, then we will be heading to Belfast. I have a beautiful home in the country we can share."

"I won't be able to get my own place?"

"No need. You'll be with me."

I looked out the window and felt my stomach drop. I had been holding onto the hope that Galen just wanted me around for business. The way he pronounced his last sentence made it clear I just handed myself over to be his property. I shut my eyes and prayed that Jax's plan would work.

We got to a hotel well off the beaten path, and Galen sent one of his guys in to get the keys.

"Sorry this isn't the fanciest. Had to make last minute adjustments so we didn't get any unwelcome visitors."

I nodded and checked out the hotel. It was a little run down, but nothing horrible. The door opened and the man who had been driving helped me get out. He took my bag and head towards a room on the bottom floor. Galen motioned for me to go in first. The room had a single king bed in it and looked like a suite.

"They had someone else reserved for this room but I figured we could have only the best for our first night together."

I forced a smile as Galen instructed his guys to wait outside. He smiled at me and motioned for me to sit on the bed.

"You seem nervous, Savannah."

"Just a little overwhelmed with everything."

"I need to head out for business, but I'll be back later."

He ran his fingers across my face as I held back the need to vomit on his feet.

"I hope you're still awake when I get back. One of my guys will be stationed outside the room."

He left the room, allowing me to exhale as soon as the doors shut. I sat down on the bed and put my face in my hands. Part of me was terrified of what Galen wanted of me and the other half was furious at Jax. Yet again, I was the scapegoat. I was the one he leaned on with a crazy plan hoping that I would just do what he needed.

What killed me was the fact that I wasn't even part of the club. I was an old lady and a sister. I had no obligation to do anything for them. Jax's plan easily could have worked without me. He figured it would end up making me look even better in the community, but I wasn't so sure.

He told me about a time he needed to get Ima in place. It was soon after she slept with Opie and pulled her gun on us. Told me how he seduced her into feeling comfortable then bashed her face in. He never told me exactly what I needed to do, but I got the hint. I needed to get Galens guard down. I needed him to think everything was working according to his plan.

I would need to do whatever it took to get Galen exactly where Jax needed him.

* * *

Galen came in late, but I had faked sleeping until I finally did actually fall asleep. I woke up to him gone and one of his guys walking in with breakfast. I thanked him but he just nodded and walked out. I ate only what was still sealed and left the rest on the table next to the bed. I was hoping I would feel much better once I woke up, but of course I didn't. I spent hours mindlessly watching the TV until Galen came back.

"Good morning, Savannah. I have great news for you."

"What would that be?"

"We're meeting the Sons later. Making sure the Italians know who will be handling the business from now on. Then just a few more days and we can head to Belfast."

"Oh. That's great.

"You sound less than thrilled."

"Does your business tomorrow involve anyone getting hurt?"

"I promise it won't be any of your guys."

I nodded and pretended to go back to watching TV. My mind was racing though. I hated not knowing what was going on while I was gone.

"Why did you actually call me?"

_So Jax can kill you._

I looked over at Galen who was watching me from across the room.

"I want them all to be safe."

"I know you talked to the Kings though. I know they assured you no one would be harmed."

"I don't know them. I've seen what you can do."

_The Kings don't give a shit about you._

"Do you fear me?"

"Personally? No. I fear what you could do if you don't get your way though."

_And I can't wait to see you die._

He nodded and continued to watch me.

"What does your husband think?"

"He uh, he refused to talk to me about it. I tried explaining I just want everyone safe but he didn't want to hear it."

_Not technically a lie._

"Does he see you as being that expendable?"

"I honestly don't know anymore."

_He would skin you alive just for fun._

"Well, I hope you realize I value you."

_Like a piece of meat, I'm sure._

"Thank you. I appreciate that."

He continued to look at me as he seemed to be thinking.

"How far along are you."

_Shit._

"I can tell by the way you're carrying yourself. You have a lot on your mind."

"Little over ten weeks."

"You don't think your husband can keep you safe?"

_Of course he can, have you met him?_

I looked down and shrugged.

"You need not worry anymore, dear. I won't be letting you out of my sight."

* * *

We pulled up to a warehouse well off the beaten path. I looked out the window and saw that the Sons were already there. My chest was weighing a thousand pounds until I saw Happy standing there. Even though he was stone faced and looking ready to kill, my nerves were soothed just seeing him. His eyes were black and he had his hand close to his pistol.

"Figures they would bring your attack dog of a husband."

I didn't respond to him. I wanted so badly to run to him and never let go. I would even take running to Jax, no matter how frustrated I was with him. Neither of their faces gave anything away. Chibs was a different story though.

His face was tormented as we drove up. I remembered him telling me about his wife and daughter. When he was kicked out of Ireland, one of the men kept them there. He was still legally married but he had no contact with them. I hadn't even realized that this would feel like déjà vu for him.

We stopped moving and Galen opened the door for me. He had insisted that I wear dress clothes to these meetings. I was wearing a black pencil skirt and a blue blouse. My hair was up into a neat bun and I had tasteful makeup on. I felt like an imposter. As I got out, I made eye contact with Chibs. He looked like he was going to lose it any second.

"Ah, Jaxson. Nice to see you again."

"Galen. Savannah."

I nodded at him, knowing that my voice may give me away.

"Make sure you keep your attack dog at bay. Savannah is here with me on her own free will. I'd hate to have to break my promise with her."

I felt my body stiffen, knowing he was threatening my husband. At that point, I was more concerned that Chibs was going to be the one to snap though.

"He won't be a problem."

Galen turned to the Italian man and extended his hands. He introduced everyone until he got to me. He snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me close, making me stumble into him.

"This here is Miss Savannah. She will be your primary contact, though for the next year she will be with me in Ireland."

"Already changing contacts?"

"She's with child and deserves the time to breathe."

"Oh, congratulations. I'm assuming you are the father, Galen?"

I saw Happys eyes turn a deadly black as Galen sneered and nodded his head.

"Yes I am. I will be raising them as my own and teaching them the trade. Can't beat the loyalty of children."

The man, Jimmy, seemed to sense the tension between Galen and the Sons. He looked at me and stepped forward.

"I hope that we get to work together, Miss Savannah."

"Thank you, sir. I hope that I can prove to be a worthy point of contact."

"I am sure you can. I never caught your last name."

I hesitated and glanced towards Galen.

"Morrow." Jax added.

He stepped forward to be part of the conversation.

"She's my sister."

"Half-sister." I added.

I saw Jax flinch. I never referred to him as anything but my brother. Jimmy nodded.

"So, Clays daughter then?"

"Yes, sir."

I saw a bunch of cars pull up in the distance and Galen started steering me towards his vehicle.

"Now that all the pleasantries have been exchanged, I would like to get down to business."

He pushed me into the vehicle and shut the door. I pushed up against the window and saw Galen talking as he walked over to one of the guns.

"You see, these work much better on flesh than wood targets."

He opened fire on the Chinese that were trying to get out of the vehicles. Chibs screamed out and pointed his gun at Galens head. I watched in horror as he killed a few of the guys and the rest sped away. Galen got back into the SUV and we left. I looked back at my guys and my heart ached.

"Tomorrow is the day."

"What do you mean?"

"Sons have one more thing to do for me then we will head to Belfast. I already made arrangements for you to see a doctor there. You will come back and visit the states to arrange new deals after the babies are born."

I looked back out the window and prayed that Jax would be able to go through with all of his plan.

* * *

*******MAJOR UNCOMFORTABLE ALERT*******

**There are uncomfortable situations in this next part, but I didn't make it incredibly harsh. You know that there is something going on, but Savannah's head is occupied with anything and everything else. It isn't rape per say. She isn't forced, but she feels obligated.**

**IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO READ THIS PART THAT IS 100% OKAY. She talks about it later in reference that I will also put a warning with though it should be okay.**

I ate dinner and curled up to watch TV. Galen had taken off soon after we got there so I asked his goon to order me Chinese food. I was almost asleep when the door opened. I looked up to see Galen walking in and taking his suit jacket off.

"Ah, you're still awake."

"Yeah."

He walked over and sat on the edge of the bed closest to me. I sat up, pulling my knees to my chest.

"I feel like you're only here because I threatened those you love."

_I am._

"I'm sorry I make you feel that way."

"Is it true?"

_Yes._

"I'm not sure anymore, Galen. I'm a little lost."

He ran his hand across my face and tucked my hair behind my ear.

_I'm going to throw up._

"Let me show you how kind I can be."

_Let me slit your throat instead._

He leaned forward and pulled me into a kiss. I froze for a split second but Jax's story about Ima flashed through my head. He did what he had to do to keep his family safe. I returned the kiss and he quickly pulled me down so I was laying down on the bed.

"You are going to realize that you made the right choice."

I nodded but said nothing. My body and mind was screaming for me to make it stop. He wasn't Happy. He wasn't the father of the children I was carrying and he sure as hell wasn't anyone I would ever want. He hand his hands across my body and I shut my eyes. He went back to kissing me as he pulled his clothes off. I was thrilled that the lights were off because I really didn't want to see him.

He pulled my clothes off slowly as my body was screaming that I needed to kill him. It would have been easy for me to keep a knife close and drive it through his eye when he was distracted. I glanced over but there was no such luck that one would be sitting there. All I saw was a plastic fork.

I imagined being able to kill him with the plastic fork as I blocked out the reality that he was running his hands and mouth all over my body. I held back a laugh realizing that Happy was rubbing off on me more than I thought. I never imagined finding comfort in the idea of brutally killing someone would be my thing, but there I was.

My mind flashed over to Chibs. He had look so tormented. I wondered if Jax knew how much It would tear at him for me to be doing this. I wasn't sure if I could have agreed knowing it was going to hurt him. He was the closest thing to a stable father figure I had ever had. Even if Clay had been alive when I got married, there was no way I would have ever wanted anyone but Chibby to walk me down the aisle. I wondered what he would have been like with his daughter, because he was wonderful with me.

I thought of Tara and the boys. I hoped that Gemma was leaving her alone, but with me gone she probably stepped up the bullshit. I worried about her snapping and trying to run. She had wanted to leave before, but I was hoping that her and Jax were doing well enough that she wouldn't try to do anything stupid. Her love kept her in Charming, but she was never really designed to be part of that life. No matter how much she went through she was still soft. Not that it was a bad thing, she just wasn't as rough as me and Gemma were.

Gemma infuriated me. She was so volatile and harsh. There had been rumors that she had killed John, but up until recently I wasn't sure that it was true. I could see it though. Especially if Clay had gotten into her head. My fear was that she would finally snap and try to kill Tara or myself. She saw us as threats and there would be nothing stopping her if she got it in her head that she thought we should be dead.

I snapped back to reality as Galen rolled off me. He was drenched in sweat and panting. I immediately got up to get a shower, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Where was your head? I could tell you weren't here."

_My head was everywhere but here, you disgusting pig._

"I'm just tired. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You were still great either way."

I forced a smile and took the hottest shower I could muster, genuinely concerned I may have burns at the end of it. I prayed that Happy would forgive me for what I had to do.


	37. What The Universe Decided I Deserve

We rolled up to the warehouse the next morning. It was clean and well organized. He had a lavish office inside filled with bookshelves and exotic flowers. I held back rolling my eyes at the unnecessary luxuries.

"This is where you will work out of once you come back. It's where all the guns come in and then are moved out to the buyers."

He showed me around and I tried to act interested. My stomach growled and he stopped walking.

"I forgot you need to eat more. I'll send one of the guys for food. The Sons should be here soon."

"What do you need them for?"

"One of my guys got locked up. They're going to break them out."

"What? That wasn't part of the deal."

"I said I will not harm them."

"Oh, but you'll put them right in harms way?"

He turned on me and glared.

"Mind your betters, Savannah."

I grit my teeth and went into the office to wait. I watched all the guys come in and talk to Galen. Jax seemed pissed about what Galen was telling them to do, but he finally agreed. I looked around for Happy but didn't see him. I wondered why he wasn't there but got distracted when food was set down in front of me.

We sat for hours waiting for the guys to get back. The longer it took, the more impatient I got. Galen kept telling me about Belfast and where we would be staying. He wanted me to meet everyone before I started showing. He wanted to know exactly how far along I was so he could spin his lies about how the twins were his. It was so hard not to stab him with the fork in my hand.

I heard the guys come back in but something was wrong. Juice jumped out of one of the vans and was covered in blood. I went to run out the door, but Galen stopped me.

"Let me go. I need to at least check on them."

"What would you be able to do?"

"You must not have done your research. I graduated with pre-med."

He moved and I ran out the door. I got to the van and saw that Bobby had been hit.

"Bobby! You're back!"

"Hey, sweetheart."

I hopped into the back with him and checked out his wound.

"It didn't exit. I'm gonna plug this up until we can get Tara to you."

"She's on her way now."

I looked at Jax and nodded. I was handed some gauze by Chibs and I packed the wound. He was grunting but never really complained.

"When did you get back?"

"I recruited some people in. I couldn't help Jax as the VP. I could rebuild the ranks though."

"I thought you were going to go Nomad."

"I thought about it. SAMCRO is my home though."

"I'm glad your back. That should hold you over until Tara gets here."

He nodded and kissed my hand. I hopped out of the van and walked towards the office with Jax.

"He needs that bullet out. He's lucky it hit where it did."

"We will get him and Tara up to the cabin. She should be able to take care of it."

"Where are the kids? With Wendy?"

"I'll explain all of that later. We need to get down to business right now."

I wanted to ask him where Happy was, but I knew he was right. I led the way into the office and into Galens extended arms. He hugged me and pushed me away gently.

"You need to wash your hands."

"Sorry, patched up one of the guys."

I stepped back and Jax put a bullet between his eyes. I hadn't noticed that Tig and Chibs walked in, but they took out the other guys just as quickly. I looked down at my white blouse and saw it was splattered with blood. A hysterical laugh bubbled out of my mouth, causing the guys to look at me.

"Are you okay?" Jax asked.

"You have no idea how many times in the past few days I imagined that fucker dying."

He pulled me into a hug and kissed the side of my head. I was yanked out of his arms and instantly recognized Chibs embrace. He was holding me painfully tight as his chest heaved.

"I'm so sorry, Chibs. I didn't even think of how painful this would be for you."

"I was so scared, lass. I also had no idea you were with child."

"Eleven weeks by now."

"We will talk later, yeah?"

"Of course, Chibs. I love you."

"I love ya too."

Chibs and Tig walked out, leaving me alone with Jax.

"Tara is bringing you some clothes too. You looked uncomfortable as hell."

"I am. I'm just ready to get a shower and get home to my husband."

"I think it's better if you stay with Chibs tonight."

"Why?"

"I'll fill you in on everything once Bobby is okay, but the Chinese took Happy."

* * *

Jax and the guys took off as soon as Tara pulled in. They were going up to camp, but Chibs stayed behind. He wasn't with me, but he was maybe a half mile down the road. The last part of our plan had been set in motion. I sat outside the office, forcing the tears to flow down my face as Conner and his guy came in. He rushed over to me and checked me.

"It's not my blood."

"What the bloody hell happened?"

"Galen wanted to talk to the Chinese. Make sure that they got the message yesterday. They were all talking fine but then it got heated. They pulled their guns and took out Galen."

He looked inside and swore under his breath.

"Are you okay?"

"I went with Galen to stay safer. I needed a better life for my kids. This is even more dangerous. Tell the Kings I'm done. Please. I can't do this anymore." I sobbed.

He nodded, taking my hand.

"I'll call the Kings tomorrow morning. They might want to talk to ya, but I'll let ya go."

"You're in charge now, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Promise me you'll let me go."

"I promise. I need to get out of here. If they sped out of here the cops have gotta be on their way."

"I'll stay. Tell them what happened. I'll spin it like Galen took me. It will give you more time since they will have a witness."

"Thank you, sweetheart. Stay safe."

He pat my shoulder and got into the vehicle. They took off and I ran over to wash my hands. The blood across my blouse was Bobby's and the last thing I wanted was for them to know that. I washed my hands well and ran back over to where I was sitting. The doors swung open and the police rushed in. I put my hands up where I was with my head down.

"That's Savannah."

I looked up and saw Eli walking in. He helped me to my feet and checked me over.

"Not my blood."

"What the hell happened."

I told my story about how Galen O'Shay kidnapped me due to some beef he had with Clay. I went through all the bad details about how horrible he treated me and how he threatened to kill my family when I tried to get away. I recounted how the Chinese came in and ended all talks with a shootout. I made sure there were extreme details as Roosevelt took everything down for the DA. She listened on as I cried and begged Eli to take me home.

"Get her out of here. That's exactly how it looks it happened."

"Jax gave you what you wanted."

"No, he promised me a supplier, not a pile of bodies."

"Jax knew about this?"

The DA looked at me with pity.

"Yeah, he did. Do you have any idea what kind of garbage that club is in?"

I shook my head no and had tears well up in my eyes again.

"I'm glad you're alive, Savannah. I don't think you'd lie to me about what happened. You're not even close to being a part of this world."

I nodded as Eli led me to the bathroom to change. They wanted the clothes since they were spattered with Galen's blood. I changed quickly and went right back out to him.

"Can you take me home?"

"Yeah, let's go."

* * *

We got a few miles down the road without saying a word. Finally, Eli pulled over on the side of the road. He looked in the rear view mirror and laughed.

"Looks like someone is following."

I peeked back and saw Chibs following us.

"Did any of that really happen?"

"More than I even said."

"I'm sorry that happened to you."

"I'll be alright."

"You gonna ride back with Chibs?"

"Yeah. Thanks for getting me this far. That DA is a bitch."

He laughed out and nodded his head.

"Take care, Savannah."

I smiled at him and hopped out, jogging over to Chibs' bike. He handed me his spare helmet and we took off. He drove the speed limit all the way to Charming, but I was ready to lay down. We pulled into his driveway and I followed him inside. He motioned for the couch and I flopped down on it.

"Tea?"

"Sure."

He walked out a minute later with a cup of tea for both of us. He set down some crackers for me too.

"I don't have a lot of food right now. I'll order here in a few minutes though."

"Tell me about Happy."

"Shit went sideways with the Chinese. They wanted Galen taken out and took Happy as an insurance we would listen."

"Are they going to hurt him?"

"I doubt it. We have a pretty good relationship with them. We're going to set everything up tomorrow to get him back."

I took a sip of the tea.

"Who has the boys?"

"Neeta and Rat when she has to leave."

"What happened with Wendy?"

"She did tell Gemma you two were going to run. She's been using again."

"Shit."

"Tara already shift the paperwork. She was taken off as guardians. She put you and Happy down in case anything happens."

"Alright. I was hoping she would stay clean."

"Me too, lass. Gemma got in her head though."

"Bitch."

He chuckled at me before quickly calling for a pizza. He ordered a bunch of other stuff too, but I wasn't really paying attention. He set his phone down and sighed.

"You wanna talk about it?"

I looked at him and shrugged.

"Might be easier talking to me and getting your head on straight before talking to Hap."

"Was he mad when I left?"

"He's been fighting anyone and everyone possible. He wasn't mad at ya, but he was upset you were gone. When Galen referred to the babies as his, I thought he was going to tear the whole world in half. It took me a while to process what was even being said."

"Sorry I didn't get a chance to tell you."

"It's alright. Probably better I didn't know. I was already a mess with ya gone."

I nodded and looked down at my tea.

"How many times?"

I looked back up and could see it written all over his face. He knew the Irish after all.

"Just once. I knew I needed him to trust me. Jax told me how he did the same thing to Ima."

"You alright?"

"I just laid there. I didn't make a sound. Forced myself to think about anything and everything else."

He nodded and kept watching me.

"Do.. do you think Hap will forgive me?"

"There isn't anything to forgive. Ya do need to tell him though."

I nodded and saw a few tears drop into my tea.

"Oh, don't be doing that. Salty tea is just wrong."

I laughed finally, but the tears kept falling down my face. He came over and sat next to me, pulling me into his chest.

"He loves ya, girl. You were doing what you needed to survive."

* * *

I woke up to a voice saying my name. I shot up in the bed and saw Tara sitting on the edge. I pulled her into a hug quickly.

"Oh my god, I missed you."

She laughed and held me just as tight.

"Missed you too, Savannah. So glad that you're back."

"Me too. I feel like I slept for days. What time is it?"

"Nearly noon. Jax wanted me to come get you. The deal with Patterson should be going through but he wants us out of town."

"Is Happy back yet?"

"They were dealing with that today. We need to head to the house later and get the boys and head up to Tacoma. They have a safe house there. Shit is getting sideways in Oakland and Jax just wants us out."

"Alright. Chibs filled me in on everything. I'm so disappointed in Wendy."

"Me too. I guess her addiction got the best of her."

"More like Gemma did."

She laughed harshly and nodded.

"I'm gonna hop in the shower then we can go get the boys."

"Jax is gonna meet us at the house this evening. Doesn't want us out on the road during the day. I think Juice is heading up there with us at first."

"Okay. Why don't we stop by the store then and get some stuff for the road? Then we can grab the boys and see Jax."

"I'll be waiting out in the living room."

* * *

We spent the day picking up some food and movies. The rental vehicle Jax rented us had small screens in the back for the boys so we wanted to make sure they were enjoying themselves. It had taken a lot to shield the boys from all the bad, but we were almost there. We had no idea how long we were going to be out of town for, but if it meant that the kids were safe I was all for it. Besides, it was nice not putting myself in danger for once. We pulled into the driveway but no one was there yet.

"I thought Neeta was here with the boys?"

"Jax called earlier. She had an emergency so Juice is going to bring them by later when we're ready to go. I guess Jax wants to spend some time with us first. Really explain everything that is going on."

We got out of the car and walked inside. We flipped the lights on and started packing stuff. We didn't say much as the weight of reality hit us. We were leaving our homes. The kids would be safe, but we were leaving the men we loved to deal with threats that we would have absolutely no control over. I went into the bedroom and started packing the kids clothes. I heard the front door open and close and Tara call out to Jax. I continued packing until I heard something smash in the kitchen. I ran out to see Gemma shoving Tara's head into the dish water and holding a large meat fork above her head.

"GEMMA STOP!"

She paused, still holding Tara's head in the water. I pulled my pistol out and pointed it at her face.

"Let her the fuck go!"

She let go of Tara's head and let her fall to the floor. She was spitting up water and coughing. Still keeping the pistol trained at Gemma, I walked over and helped Tara to her feet. She was holding her face which was bleeding.

"I knew you two little whores were leaving."

"We're going on a vacation, you psycho bitch."

"I don't believe you!"

"You don't have to."

We heard a motorcycle coming and I smirked.

"Tell you what, Gemma. You have two options. You can wait for Jax to pull into that driveway and stay still as I explain you just tried to kill his wife. You can watch as your two children decide how to kill you. Or, you can run right now and hope we don't find you."

She hesitated but looked over at the door.

"Go. Either way, you're dead."

She bolted out the door and into Unsers truck that was outside. She sped down the road as I helped Tara to her feet.

"My nose is broken. She smashed it of the counter."

"Yeah you chipped the counter."

"I need to go to the hospital to get checked out."

I nodded as Jax walked in. He ran over to Tara and took her face in her hands.

"What the fuck?"

"Gemma."

He growled and head towards the door but I stopped him.

"Jax, we have more to worry about right now. Follow me up to the hospital. She needs to be seen."

He nodded as I guided Tara outside.

"Savannah."

"Yeah?"

"You just saved her life, didn't you?"

"Yeah. I did. I think you would have just walked in the house to the most horrible scene you could ever see."

* * *

I sat at the hospital waiting for Jax to come out. The rest of the guys were there, but I refused to talk about it without Jax. After about an hour, my brother appeared looking upset.

"Is she okay?"

"She has a really bad concussion. We're waiting on the results from the CT scan to see if she has a brain bleed. Baby is okay though."

"Jaxie boy, what the hell is going on."

Jax led us to Tara's office and we all piled in. I told them about the plan to go to Tacoma for a while to escape the heat. I relayed how Gemma was seconds away from killing Tara in cold blood.

"If Savnnah hadn't been there, Tara would have been dead."

"Where is she now?" Chibs growled.

"I gave her two options. Let me and Jax kill her or run for the rest of her life with the fear that we would find her. She ran."

"Coward." Jax spit.

"What is important is getting the club on the track you guys want. We will get Tara back to being healthy. Focus on the club. Be smart. Fix this shit that my father set in motion."

"What about Gemma?" Bobby asked.

"If I see Gemma, I'll put a fucking bullet between her eyes." I answered.

* * *

Everyone else but me and Jax left. Tara didn't have a major brain bleed but she needed rest. They also wanted to keep an eye on her because of the pregnancy. I was taking a break, sitting in the waiting room, when I heard footsteps heading my way. I looked over to see Happy heading straight for me. I sprint over to him and wrapped myself around him.

"You're okay?"

"Yeah. You?"

I nodded and buried my face in his neck.

"I love you, Savannah."

"I love you too, Happy. More than you'll ever know."

He kissed me passionately, taking my breath away.

"Guys told me Galen is dead."

"Yeah, he is."

"Good."

"Hap I-"

"Not now. We will talk about everything later. Right now I just want to hold you."

I nodded and buried my face in his neck again. I reveled in the feeling of his arms wrapped around me, holding me close. Even if he decided he could never forgive me for what I had to do, that moment in itself, was perfect. We had won. Everyone I loved was safe and I would gladly pay whatever price it was the universe decided I deserved.


	38. All Your Fault

I spent the next few days in the hospital with Tara. Jax would leave long enough to check on the boys but never left the room for long. Everything seemed to have smoothed over with the Chinese though the Kings were a little skeptical of my story. They had called me multiple times to ask questions and make sure I was keeping my story straight.

Although they didn't fully believe me, they thought my story was genius. I had played it off like I was just some random girl caught up in the shit. My little crying fit had made the DA really believe that I was just some chick the club was putting in danger. It was an open and shut case with my eye witness account. The Irish assured me I would be free and clear of their bullshit and they would pay me for my troubles.

We finally got Tara home and got her set up in bed to rest. The more the doctors talked about her injuries the more my stomach ached. Gemma had no intention of letting her live. I sat down on the couch and felt Jax plop next to me.

"I can't even begin to thank you."

"No need, Jax."

"How are you holding up?"

"Tired. I miss sleeping in my own bed. Plus these two are kicking my ass."

I pointed at my stomach and Jax lift my shirt. There was a bump starting to form there and he smiled.

"Why don't you go home, sis? Brooke will be here to help with the boys and Tara has a nurse coming tomorrow."

"Not really ready to face that music yet, Jax."

He sat up so he could look at me easier.

"What's wrong?"

"Hap and I have a lot to talk about. He has a lot to forgive me for."

"There isn't anything to forgive. You helped the club."

"You really think he was okay with me going? He knew what I would have to do. He knew the kind of danger it was putting me and his kids in."

He went silent for a moment.

"Did you?"

I nodded as he huffed out a sigh.

"He will be okay with it."

"Would you let Tara do that?"

"That's different."

"No it isn't. She's an old lady. If you'd ask me to do it, you should be able to ask her."

He ran his hands through his hair while looking at the floor.

"I'm sorry I asked that of you."

"Me too. 'Cause unlike you, I don't have the club to fall back on if I loose everything."

"You'll always have the club."

"No. I'm just your sister. You mean to tell me if Hap wants me gone, you will tell him tough shit? Your club bond is much deeper than our blood."

"We will cross that bridge if we come to it."

"You gonna let me sleep here if he kicks my ass to the curb?"

"He won't."

"Wanna give me a ride home? Guess now is just as good of a time to face the music."

* * *

Jax drove me over to TM since he needed to get some work done. He had called Chibs and found out him and Happy were already there. We pulled in and I smiled at how much work had gotten done. Whatever company Jax had hired was working their asses off. The old clubhouse was gone and the frame already placed up. We had found the original blueprints for the clubhouse so it should look the same as before. Just maybe a little clear for a while.

We pulled into the parking spot and I saw Happy and Chibs talking over a vehicle in the garage. I had offered a major discount for the time being just to keep some type of business going. My next step would be to change the name. Chibs was a genius.

"Hey there, Lass."

"Hey Chibby."

He pulled me into a hug and I kissed his cheek. I stepped away from him and over to Happy. He pulled me into a hug and led me over to the play area. I locked eyes with Jax for a moment and he nodded. As much as the conversation needed to be between me and Hap, I was glad I had some type of back up close by.

"You want to let me know why you're avoiding me?"

"I'm not."

"Bullshit."

"How is the rebuild going?"

"Don't change the subject. We're talking about this."

I looked over at Jax and saw he was heading over. I contemplated telling him to stop, but the edge in my husbands voice was making me nervous. He looked over at Jax and huffed out a sigh.

"How many times?"

"What?"

"Don't play stupid with me, Savannah. I know how shit like this works. How many times."

"Once." I said barely above a whisper.

"Did he force you?"

"Not really."

"Then why?" He growled out.

"I had to make him trust me."

"He could trust you without fucking you." He said loudly.

I flinched at the sudden raise in his voice and felt tears come to my eyes. I saw Jax come up trying to diffuse the situation.

"I told her about what I had to do with Ima. I told her she might have to do shit she didn't want to but we needed her."

"You fucking knew about this? Handed her the fucking card to do it?" He spat.

"Calm down, Hap. She did what was right."

"What was right? What was right is falling in line and listening to her husband. Instead she listened to her fucking whore of a brother and fucked the enemy."

He turned to me and got in my face.

"Whore."

"No. Hap I-"

"You are a WHORE. You talk a big game about loyalty and finding peace but you fucked the closest warm body when you were gone for a few days."

"That wasn't what happened!"

"I should have realied who you were when you fell into bed with Opie."

"You know damn well it wasn't like that at all!"

He scoffed and looked me up and down.

"You fucked them both."

"Happy please-"

"You should feel lucky you're pregnant. You're not fucking better than Gemma. You two have a knack for using whoever you want."

"Don't talk to my sister like that, Happy." Jax growled.

I let a sob escape my lips as I buried my face in my hands. He went to walk by but turned to face Jax.

"I'm putting in my transfer papers back to Tacoma. If they won't take me, I'll keep calling other charters until someone does. I'll start Nomad back up if I need to. At least the whores up there know their place."

I started sobbing and felt a hand on my arm. I was overhwlmed by the smell of Chibs' vest as he pulled me into his chest. I continued to cry as I heard Happy get on his bike and take off.

"Sis. I am so sorry."

"This is all your fault."

"Just let him cool down. I'll talk to him."

"You have ruined every good thing I have ever had."

"Sis-"

"Chibs, take me home. Please. I can't be here anymore."

Chibs led me to his bike and helped me on. I clung onto him and cried the whole way home.


	39. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked

I woke up the next morning to the smell of bacon. I opened my eyes and saw Jax sitting on the edge of my bed holding a plate of food. I slid up so I was sitting up and took it from him.

"Didn't know you knew how to cook."

"I called Tara about five times to make sure I didn't fuck it up."

I laughed and poked at the eggs with my fork.

"I ate one of them to make sure it tasted okay."

"Way to take one for the team."

I smiled at him and dug in. I had fallen asleep the night before feeling so sick to my stomach that I wouldn't eat. Chibs had tried everything under the sun to cheer me up but I just wasn't having it. Jax was looking at me as I ate.

"Whats the plan for today?"

"They should be starting to get more work done at the clubhouse by now. I stopped by there early before I came and relieved Chibs."

"You guys don't need to babysit me."

"I know. I don't see it that way. I see me trying to make my little sister feel better when I fucked her life up."

I shrugged and stuffed my mouth full of food. I had been up most of the night thinking about everything.

"Do you hate me?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I mean I wish I had never been put in that situation, but in the end, I did what I needed to do. Everyone is still alive and considering the odds stacked against us, it's pretty impressive."

"Are you mad at Happy?"

"A little. I understand where he's coming from but to throw Opie in my face was a low blow."

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to finish this plate of food my amazing brother made me. Then I am going to take a shower and get changed. There is work to be done at TM."

"Why don't you take the day off?"

"Aint no rest for the wicked, Jaxson."

"Want a ride over?"

"Sure. Just give me a bit to shower and get ready."

* * *

We pulled into TM and I smiled at how much work was getting done. I looked over at the vehicle and noticed that it said Pope Industries on the side.

"Jax."

"Yeah?"

"You hired Popes business to do the work?"

"Pope is dead."

"I know that because you killed him!" I said through my teeth.

"I worked it out as a business agreement."

"What is your play? Do you trust this guy?"

"No. I'll fill you in though. We aren't making any big plays. I just don't want them around. Need to do this right."

I nodded and got off the bike. I walked towards the garage and into the office. I looked around, not sure of where I wanted to start. After I moved some papers around, I saw an envelope on the desk with my name on it. I picked it up and realized it was Happy's handwriting.

Inside the envelope was a stack of cash and a note. I dropped the money on the table and growled. I didn't want his damn money.

_S-_

_I'm going to Tacoma to transfer. They wanted to talk to me. This should be enough money to get you by until I get paid again. Make sure the kids get what they need._

_H_

I flipped through the money and saw there was at least ten grand in there. I looked over the note again and started seeing red. I walked outside and lit the paper on fire, letting it float across the parking lot until it turned to ash. I looked over to see Jax staring at me wide eyed and Tig laughing hysterically. I turned on my heel and head back into the office, tossing the stack of rubber banded money out on the ground.

"Lass?"

I looked up at Chibs and smiled.

"Hey, Chibs."

"Ya alright?"

"Yeah, fine."

He came into the office more, slowly.

"Oh, stop. I'm not going to set you on fire."

"Well, that's a good thing I guess. Note from Hap?"

"Yep. And a stack of cash. I don't fucking want it. I have more than enough money to take care of myself and my children."

"They are his too."

"He know that?"

He winced, causing me to sigh.

"Sorry, Chibs. Just not thrilled he called me a whore and took off. Then had the nerve to leave a stack of cash telling me to take care of the kids. I'm perfectly capable of doing so."

"I know, lass. Just give it some time."

"I'm already over it."

He opened his mouth to speak, but shut it immediately. He mumbled something about needed to get back to work and left the office. I didn't want to snap at him like that, but whatever happened between me and Happy was our business. I was tired of everyone getting into my business.

* * *

A week passed with a blink of an eye. I had finally set up myself with a doctor for the kids. I was about twelve weeks now which meant just about away from my first trimester. I was feeling a lot better though I kept my mind busy. I had moved all of my stuff, with help from Juice and Chibs, into the house Clay had bought me. I had refused to stay in Hap's home, and it was honestly big enough for me.

I sat on the couch looking at the paperwork I had gotten from the doctor. She had actually been the first person to really ask me what I wanted out of this pregnancy. I was taken back by her blunt question but realized I had no idea. If she had asked me even three weeks ago, I would have been pissed. She handed me a bunch of pamphlets and told me if I had questions to let her know.

The top pamphlet was about pre-natal care. Right below it was one about adoption. I had shoved them in my bag and waited until I got home to look at them. There was an adoption agency out of Oakland that helped you find a family and get to know them before the birth. I closed the pamphlet and went to make lunch.

I couldn't get it out of my head though. I wondered what it would be like if Gemma and Clay had done it right and cut all ties with me. I wondered the kind of life I had and realized the chance of me ending up this involved with gangs and violence was pretty slim. There were plenty of people who lived normal lives outside of death and distruction. If they had sent me to somene who actually wanted me instead of paying off family to care for me maybe someone would have cared enough to actually guide me. There was no half in with this life.

I took a bite out of my salad and walked back in to grab the pamphlet. I saw that there was a website and entered in the address on my phone. There was a more in depth description as to how the processes worked. I would go in and tell them what kind of family I wanted for my child. Well, children in this case. I would flip through descriptions and pick out as many potential families as I wanted. We would then meet with them and work towards making my decision. They would even assign me a case worker so I would have someone steady to talk to.

I spent two hours looking through their website. They had an open comment section where anyone could talk about their experiences. So many families had adopted their children through them. Parents without the capacity to have children. Same sex couples thrilled they weren't turned away just because of their sexual orientation. There were even single moms and dads that found their families through this agency.

I thought about Opie. His last wishes were to keep his kids out of this life. I wondered to myself if he would have sent his kids away if he had known how everything would play out. He didn't talk much about it, but I always had the feeling he regretting bringing them even remotely near this life. I even thought about Abel.

He had become so secluded lately. He was confused by Gemma leaving and even more confused when he overheard us talking about her hurting Tara. He didn't understand the violence he saw around him but he knew that was part of life. My heart ached for him. He was so young and he had already seen so much death.

I looked up as the door opened. Jax and Chibs walked in with Tara right behind them. I smiled, loving how huge her belly was already. She wasn't much further ahead of me, but this being her full second pregnancy she was showing like crazy.

"Sis, we have a problem."

* * *

I was sitting in the police station waiting to talk to the new sheriff. Eli had taken a leave of absence while he healed from his wife dying. I didn't blame him but I wasn't sure about this new woman. She seemed cocky and was constantly eying Chibs up.

"Miss-"

"Mrs."

"Mrs. Lowman. Come with me please."

I followed her into her office and she shut the door behind her. She walked with her head up high towards her desk and sat down, motioning for me to sit also.

"I'm glad you came in to see me."

"Did I have much of an option?"

"Of course you did. I always could have come looking."

"What is this about?"

"We got an anonymous tip yesterday about a murder."

"Oh, that's too bad. Why am I being involved?"

"We found the remains of Adam Litmoth. The tip also said that you were the one to kill him."

"He's dead?"

I was feigning surprise that he was dead. I was surprised they found him though. Happy had made sure the body was gone. There were very few people that knew he was dead.

"He is. He was your ex boyfriend right?"

"Yeah."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

"The night he drove a knife through my ribcage."

"I read about that. You seem to be incredibly lucky."

"Am I under arrest?"

"Not yet. I wanted to talk with you. The DA seems to have a pretty good impression of you. She will need to try to figure out what happened to Mr. Litmoth though."

"I am happy to answer any questions you may have."

"Is your husband around? I was looking to ask him some questions, too."

"We actually aren't together right now. I couldn't tell you where he is."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"Not that you can probably tell me, but who is this witness you're citing?"

She hesitated and sighed.

"You seem like a nice girl, Savannah. I'm not sure how you got so wrapped up with these guys, but you deserve so much better than that. I want to help you, but I need some info."

"I can't help without knowing who is going after me."

She looked at me and chewed on her lip. I absentmindedly rubbed my stomach and her eyes shifted down.

"How far along are you?"

"Twelve weeks."

"Wow. Congrats."

"Thanks."

She wrote down something on a piece of paper and stuck it in a small envelope. She handed it to me but didn't let go.

"If anyone asks you, I did not give this to you."

I nodded and stood up.

"Thank you, Officer."

"You can call me Althea."

"Thank you, Althea. If you need me you know where to find me."

I walked out of the office and head right outside. I noticed Unser was in the office and setting up a desk. I smiled at him which was returned. I stepped outside and saw Jax sitting on his bike. He nodded at me as I walked up and handed me my helmet.

"What's that?"

"An anonymous tip as to who is throwing me under the bus."

I opened it and growled in frustration. There was a phone number and a name scribble underneath it. I didn't even need to look at the name before I knew what it would say.

_Gemma Teller_


	40. Where Were You?

I pulled into the driveway with a lot on my mind. It had been four weeks since I talked to Althea in her office. We had talked a few times since then but it was always when she was coming to see Chibs. I was warry about him getting involved with the cop, but Chibs told me about how the club was paying her off. She had assured me that there was no physical proof I had killed Adam. The only word they had was Gemma's.

I looked in the passenger seat at the files I had picked up. The case worker and I had gone through hundreds of families together. She thought it was weird that I didn't have a preference on their organic makeup. I was more interested in their relationship and those they were around. I didn't care if they had a criminal background, but I wanted to know what it was for.

I still had absolutely no idea what I was going to do. Gemma trying to pin me for Adams murder had shaken me up. I figured if I couldn't be there for my kids and their father didn't want them either, the least I could do was set them up with a family that would love them. Tara would love them, but she would feel obligated to keep them. I had been down that road and I didn't want that either.

I grabbed the files and walked through the door, jumping when I noticed that there was someone standing in my living room.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"You're my wife. I'm allowed to be here."

"Actually, no you aren't. This is my house. It was my house before we got married."

I set my stuff down, walking past him.

"Where were you?"

"I'll answer that when you do."

He scoffed at me and crossed his arms.

"Seriously, Happy. You bust into my house without permission then demand to know where I was? You've been gone for almost six weeks!"

"Doesn't change that you're my wife."

I rolled my eyes and turned to face him.

"I'm just a whore, remember?"

"Cut the shit."

"No, how about you cut the shit and get out. Go back to Tacoma and fuck some whores."

He grabbed my arm and tugged me over to the couch, pushing me so I would sit down.

"Don't touch me."

"Then fucking sit down and listen."

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You gave up that right when you left."

"I was mad alright!" He boomed.

"AND I WASN'T!?" I yelled back.

I watched him roll his jaw. His eyes were deadly black but my blood was boiling. I had half a mind to start beating the shit out of him, but my pregnancy was stopping me. I wasn't going to provoke him. I knew damn well if I hit him I would deserve it right back.

"Where were you."

"Oakland. Who were you in?"

"Stop being a fucking child, Savannah."

"Answer the question."

"No one! I was working up in Tacoma. I came back when I heard about Gemma."

"That was four fucking weeks ago. Nice try though."

"I wouldn't answer the phone for Jax. Guys up there told me what was going on."

"That's nice."

"They won't sign the paperwork."

"I don't care."

He growled again and put his face down in his hands. He lift his head back up and locked his jaw again.

"Why were you in Oakland?"

"Setting things up in case this case moves forward. You don't want the kids and there is a possibility I won't be around."

"Who the fuck said I didn't want them."

"When was the last time you asked about them?"

"What the fuck are you planning?"

I got up and slapped the files down on the coffee table in front of him.

"One of these families will be getting the twins after they're born. I spent the morning with a case worker helping me decide who would be the best fit for them. I can't seem to get away from this fucking place but the kids will."

"You just decided this without me?"

"No, I decided it when I was totally alone and being told I could be going to jail for twenty years!"

"You aren't giving my kids to anyone."

"You're gonna sign that paper, Happy. I don't give a fuck what you think about me. I don't care how poorly you see me. You can call me every name in the book for all I care. You will NOT let your pride kill your children. They're better off safe and away from this club."

I stood up and walked to the door, opening it.

"Now get out."

He stormed to me but paused before walking out the door.

"Why don't you focus on finding Gemma before you throw everything away."

"I'm not the one who walked away from their family."

He growled at me and gripped the door right by where my hand was planted.

"I'm not fucking signing anything."

I watched him stomp down the steps towards his bike before I slammed the door shut. I had no idea if that was what I really wanted, but seeing him hurt by that decision made me happy. I had been hurting for the past month and a half without him. It was time for him to realize the gravity of the situation.

* * *

After storming around my house for a few hours, I decided to head into work. As I was pulling out, I noticed there was a bike behind me. I took a few useless turns down random roads and saw that it was still following me. I whipped down an alley and when it turned after me, I slammed on the brakes. I whipped out of the car and saw my husband push his kick stand out.

"Why the fuck are you following me."

"Making sure you don't do something stupid."

He got off his bike and stood up, crossing his arms.

"I'm not letting you give our kids to someone else."

"Why the fuck do you care all of a sudden?"

"I never stopped caring."

"How do you even know they're yours? I'm just a nasty whore. No better than Gemma."

"Cut the shit, Savannah!" He roared.

I stomped over and kicked his bike.

"Don't fucking do that again."

"Why? You actually give a shit about the bike?"

I kicked it again, causing it to shift in its spot."

"You know better than to fuck with my bike."

"You're right. I do know better. I don't give a fuck though, Happy. What do I have to do to get the message across?"

"I'm not letting you do this."

"You don't have a fucking say anymore!"

I placed another hard kick against the bike but was unsatisfied with it still being upright. I shoved it hard. Happy yelled out and tried to catch it. He glared at me and rolled his jaw.

"There we go. Now you're actually looking at me."

"Is that what you wanted? Wanted to get my fucking attention?"

I stomped over to my car and whipped the passenger door open. I reached in the glove box and pulled out the ten grand he had left for me. I walked over and tossed it into his chest.

"There ya go. Go fix your bike. Spend it on something you actually care about, not something you feel obligated to care about."

"I left that for you."

"I didn't fucking want it!"

"What the fuck do you want then?"

"I wanted you! I wanted you ALIVE. I did EVERYTHING possible to make sure my children had a father to grow up with and you tossed it in my face! You left me alone. You didn't ask ONCE about your kids. If it wasn't for my belly you wouldn't even know they were here! As far as you were concerned we all could have been dead!"

"The guys in Tacoma would have told me."

"That's not even the same fucking thing."

I went back to my car and heard footsteps behind me. I was about to sit down but he grabbed my arm.

"Where the hell are you going?"

"Away from you. What the hell else do I need to do to make you leave me alone."

He stared at me, his eyes dancing around my face. I couldn't pinpoint what the hell he was thinking. His eyes were dark but almost pleading.

"I'm sorry." He spit.

"What?"

"I said I'm sorry. I know you heard me."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I'm sorry I left. I'm sorry I couldn't deal with you doing the right thing. I'm sorry for being pissed for doing something that I would have done as well. I'm sorry I left you alone to deal with all of this by yourself."

"Fuck you." I spit.

I ripped my arm away from him but didn't go to move.

"How dare you take off then come back with an apology."

"What do you want me to do? If I didn't apologize you'd be pissed. If I do I'm wrong?"

"Leave me alone."

"I can't do that. Savannah, you have wanted kids for as long as I've known you. You wanted a family. You have all of that. You have a family that cares. You have a husband who would do anything for you. You have two kids that will be here soon."

"Bullshit! You left!"

"I've been tracking down and killing every fucking Irishman I could find."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I didn't get to kill Galen. I wasn't even in the area. I didn't get that same satisfaction that everyone else did. I had to make someone pay. I had to rip apart every man who had any type of connection with the Irish."

"I don't believe you."

My voice was softer now, though I meant what I said.

"I know you don't. I don't blame you. I mean it though. I literally have six more fucking smiley faces to get on me. Those are just the ones I know I killed for sure."

I took a moment to think about what he said. I crossed my arms and leaned against my car.

"Doesn't change what you said."

"No. It doesn't. Not even close. I don't know how to fix that. Don't know if I can. I can't let you give the kids away just because I hurt you though."

"Oh, don't be so full of yourself. Being alone is only what sparked me thinking of it. None of my reasons really have anything to do with you."

"Then talk to me about it. Please. Somewhere other than a dirty ass alley in Charming."

"Fine."

I pushed past him back towards his bike.

"What are you doing?"

"Helping you get this hunk of metal off the ground."

* * *

We sat on the grass at the park across town. I had stopped to grab some food knowing that I was going to get hungry. I had never dealt with stomach pangs like those from hunger with pregnancy. It was like the kids were ripping me apart from the inside. We sat in silence while I munched on some fries.

"I think if Gemma had actually cut ties with me, like really gave me up, my life would have been different."

"You still could have met Adam."

"Not really. I wouldn't have ended up with family that felt obligated to take me. I would have been with a family that actually wanted me."

"So, you want to give the kids up because of that?"

"Look at Abel. Thomas. They have already seen so much shit. I can't protect these kids. I can't protect anyone."

"You protected everyone."

"And lost everything in the process."

He reached his hand out to take mine, but I ripped away from him.

"You didn't lose everything."

"You left, Happy. You turned your back on me for saving your life. You really think Galen wouldn't have gone after you first?"

"I get that. I just got pissed because everyone knew but me."

"Well, It's not like I could walk up to the Triads and tell them I needed to tell my husband I slept with the IRA guy to save his life."

Happy chuckled and shook his head.

"Guess you're right."

"Damn right, I'm right."

I looked over at him and saw he was smiling.

"How are they?"

"So far, so good. I have an ultrasound tomorrow."

"Normal?"

"Yeah. Just the anatomy scan. Make sure everything is good with them."

"I'd like to be there."

"If that's what you actually want."

"It is."

"Well, don't get too attached. I don't know that we will even get to see them."

"It's not like they rip them away the second they're out."

"That's what I will ask them to do if that's the route I go down."

He went silent as I continued eating.

"How dead set are you on this?"

I sighed.

"Not at all. It is an option though."

"Then I want you to talk to me about it. I won't stop you if you make me see its what you really want."

"I'm not going to convince you."

"No, but you can show me it's what you think is best. I'm not going to force you into something you don't want."

I reached down to grab more fries but realized they were gone. I frowned at the box and set it to the side, picking up a container of chicken nuggets.

"They really won't sign the transfer?"

"No. Jax called them and stuck his nose in it. Gave me the go ahead to stay up there as long as I needed. Made it clear I had to come back and get the paper signed here after I made my case to the whole club."

"How long did it take you before you wanted to come back?"

"The moment I pulled into Tacoma. The whole ride up there I kept telling myself I was going home."

"What changed?"

"I looked at that damn town and realized that wasn't me anymore. That wasn't home."

"You didn't even call though."

"I couldn't get the image of you sobbing for me out of my head. I was hoping you would call and force me to come home."

"I don't play that game."

"I know. I knew you wouldn't call. I knew damn well that unless I came back you wouldn't talk to me."

"Good. At least you knew you had to fix it yourself."

He nodded and chuckled.

"So, we talked about the lack of ass I've been getting. What about you?"

"What do you mean?"

"How many guys have you fucked since I've been gone."

"Not sure you want to go there."

"What?"

I looked at him and started counting softly pointing at my fingers on my left hand. When I switched over to my right hand I heard him growl.

"Hold on, Hap. This is just this past week."

He grabbed me and pulled me onto his lap. I laughed out and buried my face in his neck.

"So, what's the final count then?"

"Hmm. Let me think."

"I figured Juice would try pushing up on you."

"Oh! I forgot about him. Twenty then."

He growled in my ear again, making me laugh.

"I love you, Savannah. I'm gonna prove that to you."

"I hope you can. I don't want to do all of this alone."

"You're not gonna be alone again."

I wanted to believe him. I wanted more than anything to stay wrapped up in his arms. I couldn't though. I couldn't forget the look on his face before he left. I sighed and slipped of his lap.

"You dented my gas tank by the way."

"Good."

"Good? I've killed people for less ya know."

"You wanted a new one anyway."

"I- Ya know what? You are right about that."

"See? I did you a favor."

"You're an asshole."

"Just like my husband."

He smiled at me and handed me my drink.

"Hows the clubhouse?"

"Done. Which is good because that's where you're going to be sleeping."

"Seriously? I can't even sleep on the couch."

"Nope."

"Fine. But at least go over there with me. I need to let Jax know I don't want the transfer."

* * *

I pulled into the driveway with Happy right behind me. He pulled into his spot as the guys walked out of the clubhouse. They had been spending the day moving furniture in and making it look like it had pre-Galen temper tantrum. I got out of my car and walked over the group.

"Hey, sis."

"Hey, Jax. Got everything done?"

"Yeah. Just ready for the party tomorrow."

"Alright good. I hired some girls to serve drinks. They will be here later today so someone can train them. Tig, not you."

Tig stopped while he was raising his hand and looked deflated.

"Aww, why not sweetheart?"

"Because I know how you are. Not gonna happen. I want either Jax or Chibs to train them. You can whip your dick out at them tomorrow."

"Aww, baby doll you know how to make a man happy."

"Shut up, Tig."

He laughed and lit a cigarette.

"You back, Hap?" Jax asked.

"Yeah. I don' want the transfer if you guys still want me."

"You know it, brother."

He pulled Hap into a hug and pat his back. He looked over at me and I nodded.

"He's going to be staying here. Are the rooms set up?"

"Yeah they're all good to go. Take your choice."

Hap nodded and head inside. I crossed my arms, resting them on my ever-growing belly.

"You two good?" Jax asked.

"No. He wants us to be though."

"Well, that's a first step."

"You didn't tell me why he wanted to be up there."

"No. Didn't think you wanted to hear it at the time."

"I guess you're right."

"I still want Juice to stay at the house. You tell Hap he's been there?"

"Not yet. I will now though. Figure it's better coming from me."

* * *

I stood in the doorway as he unpacked what little he had. It was a little hard for me to believe that he was actually back. Six weeks wasn't really all that long of a time to be apart, but I had it set in my heart that I would never really see him again.

"Just gonna watch me like a creep?"

"Learned it from the best."

"I told you not to hang out with Tig."

I laughed and stepped into the room. I let myself read his face, wondering just how pissed off he was going to be.

"Go ahead and say it. I can tell you're nervous."

"Juice has been staying at the house with me."

"Okay."

"He's going to continue doing that. Jax doesn't want to risk me being alone anywhere with Gemma on her kick for vengeance. Especially after she tried to kill Tara."

"I agree."

"You aren't mad?"

He sighed.

"Mad? No. Disappointed? Yeah. I should be the one home with you at night, but I understand why you're having someone else."

"I just think you not being there at night is the best option."

"And I respect that, Savannah. I'm just not completely thrilled that some other guy is staying there."

"It's just Juice."

"Doesn't matter."

I sighed and nodded. I really did understand where he was coming from with it. Happy was always the kind of man that wanted to protect everyone, so the idea of having someone else protect his wife was going to drive him nuts.

"Why don't you be my shadow during the day? I mean if Jax doesn't have anything for you to do. It will give us some time to spend together. Get to know each other again."

"I already know you, Savannah."

"Fine. Don't take me up on my offer."

"I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I just already know you. I will take the time to earn your trust back though."

"If that's how you want to look at it."

"It is. End of discussion."

I smiled at him. Even though his words were harsh, the way he said them were playful and lighthearted. His smile was meeting his eyes and I quickly remembered why it was so easy for me to love him. No matter what we put each other through, the feelings of love we shared wouldn't be easily forgotten.

"So, tell me about what's been going on with Gemma."

"I think that's more of a club conversation."

"Then let's go talk to Jax."

 


	41. A Tumultuous Reuinion

We had been trying for months on end to find Gemma. Every time we thought we were close, she would disappear. It made for an interesting pregnancy, considering I never knew if and when I was going to die.

The club was back on track. Jax's dream was coming true. They got out of the gun trade and away from the drugs. Tara and I had even hosted the Mayans to some of our picnics. It was nice, having all of us together. It was a huge contrast from when my father was in charge. Everyone was living in harmony.

I still wasn't letting Happy stay the night. He was frustrated, but he understood. I just couldn't get used to the idea of him really being back. He had shattered my heart in the worst of ways. I didn't know how to forget him walking away from me.

Tara had just had her little girl. I thought Jax was adorable with Abel and Thomas, but when he saw his little girl for the first time I thought my heart was going to burst. It was like the world shift for him and he saw just how beautiful everything could be.

As excited as I was for him, it meant my due date was close. I still hadn't fully decided what to do. Seeing Jax together with his family made me ache for mine, but not knowing where Gemma was made me realize life was never going to be safe.

"Where's your mind, babe?"

I looked up to the doorway and smiled at Happy. He always was there before I woke up.

"Just thinking."

"Me too."

"Wow, you think?"

He smirked at me and pushed off the doorway, walking towards me.

"Shut up."

I smiled at him as he helped me to my feet. He put his hands on my giant belly and smiled at the kids kicked him.

"So, what were you thinking?"

"That my wife is absolutely beautiful."

I felt my face flush. The bigger I got, the more affection she showed me.

"Did Chibs talk to Althea?"

"Yea. He's on his way over. Will be here in about a half an hour."

He put his hands on my hips and looked down into my eyes. His gaze always set me on fire, it seemed, but I had held him off so far. By body was aching for the contact that I gave up when he left.

"You're tense."

"I'm carrying your giant kids."

"Let me help you relax." He growled.

I looked down at my belly, realizing there was no way I could have even gotten close to him. I huffed out a sigh and shook my head.

"Come on, Savannah. I won't ask to move in or push anything. I just want to make love to my wife."

"You can't even hug me, Happy."

He spun me around slowly and pressed himself against my back. He wrapped one arm around me, right above my belly. And the other roamed across the top of my chest. I felt my breathing hitch at the close contact. I shut my eyes, trying to stay strong enough to say no. It wouldn't come out of my mouth.

"If it ends up being uncomfortable, I'll stop."

I sighed.

"Okay."

"Lay down on whatever side is most comfortable."

I crawled into the bed and lay down. I could feel my heart pumping in my chest as I stayed facing away from him. He climbed in behind me and put his arm under my head. His right hand started softly roaming across my body. A small airy moan escaped my lips at the sensation.

"Is this okay?"

I nod, unsure of what noise would come out if I opened my mouth. His left hand came across me and started softly kneading my swollen breast as his right ran across my hip and in between my legs. The sensation of his hands on my body was making my eyes flutter shit. He started to gently rub my mound, eliciting another soft moan from me. I felt a smile on his lips as he started to kiss across my neck.

"Hap?"

"Hmm?"

"Please."

He pulled away from my neck and laughed.

"Please what?"

"I need you. Please."

"You sure?"

"Jesus Christ, Hap." I growled.

He quickly pulled his shirt and jeans off as I struggled to get mine off. He helped me pull my pants down and gently pulled off the black panties I had on. I looked down at my stomach and frowned.

"If you want to keep your shirt on, it's okay."

I sighed in relief as he pulled his boxers off and laid back down behind me. He continued to run his hands over me as he gently slid inside of my core. I let out a soft sigh, not realizing how much I had been wanting him this close to me. He continued to rub my body as he gently made love to me. I hit my climax easily and I swear I had never felt anything better in my life. I didn't realize that we had been intertwined with each other, until I heard a knock on the front door. Happy grunt in frustration.

"It's okay. It's probably Chibs."

"Yeah. Was hoping we would have more time."

He slipped his clothes on quickly, leaving me to compose myself. It hadn't been the exact reunion that I wanted, but it was something. We had taken things so slow, and he had been so damn patient. I slipped into the shower quickly and got dressed. I knew Chibs had wanted to talk to me, so I hurried out there.

"Morning, Lass."

"Morning Chibby. You talk to Althea?"

"Aye. DA can prove he was killed, but nothing links it to you. She's watching the club like a hawk, but we're legit now so it isn't a big deal."

"So I'm good? What about Gemma's testimony?"

"Tara went to her about what she did before she took off. Showed her the medical reports and said ya both would testify if needed."

"Will that stop Gemma?"

"She's in tha wind again. Can't find her."

"Shit."

I put my hand on my belly, noticing that I hadn't felt the twins in a while.

"They okay?" Happy said quietly.

"I think so. I'm just gonna go get some orange juice. Usually makes them dance."

I stood up, and felt a contraction hit. I grabbed my stomach and froze where I was.

"What's wrong?"

"Just a contraction."

"Worse than the others?"

"Yeah." I said breathlessly.

I went to take another step and another hit just as hard. I gasped at the pain and Happy was instantly at my side.

"Is it time?"

"I still have three weeks."

"Didn't the doc say they could come early?"

"Yeah. But I'm not ready."

"Sounds like they are, lass."

Happy breezed past me into the bedroom, coming out with my bags. Chibs had his arm around my waist and led me towards the door. I cried out as another one hit, wondering why they were coming on so quickly. Chibs swept me up into his arms and rushed to the car. Happy was already in it and had it running. Chibs got me into the back and sat with me, shutting the door behind.

"We're good Hap, let's go."


	42. Never Letting Go

As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Chibs jumped out and ran inside. Happy kept the car in front as a few nurses came running out. They put me in a wheelchair as I screamed out in pain. I had been warned that twins could come early, but this was so fucking sudden.

"How long have you been feeling the contractions?"

"The first one hit about fifteen minutes ago."

"You didn't have any before that?"

"No."

I grit my teeth, trying not to scream out in the hospital hallway. They rushed me up to labor and delivery as I heard Happy running up behind us. They got my pants of and the doctor walked in.

"Good morning, Mrs. Lowman. Let's see what's going on here."

Another contraction hit me and I dug my fingers into the bed.

"Don't be afraid to yell, sweetheart."

The nurse said that was close to me hooking up an IV. The doctor quickly moved away from me and pointed out of the room. A nurse ran out past Happy and Chibs.

"Well, looks like the little ones are ready. You're 9 centimeters. We're gonna get my team in here and deliver some babies."

The doctor walked out the door and Happy rushed to my side. He had a look of panic on him as he took my hand.

"First one?"

Happy looked up at the nurse and nodded quickly.

"I can tell. Savannah, sweetheart, do you want both of them in here?"

"Yeah. My husband and my dad."

Chibs face lit up as he came closer.

"Aye, I'm here sweetheart. I called Jax and Tara."

I nodded as another contraction hit me. I started to cry after it died down. I had wanted so much more time. I needed that time. I still had no idea what I was going to do.

"I'm here, Savannah. I'm here, babe. It's gonna be okay."

I cried harder at how understanding he was being. I knew he wanted the kids. He wanted them so badly and here I was second guessing my life. I was second guessing him.

"Do.. do you want me to call the case worker?"

I saw Chibs tighten his jaw as he looked away. I looked Happy in the eyes and felt a flash of pain. He was willing to do anything for me.

"Can you keep us safe?"

"Of course, Savannah. Always. I promised you that. You're my life."

I studied his face before another contraction hit me. I squeezed his hand as I grit through the pain.

"I need to know, babe. I'm sorry. But if you want me to call-"

"If you take your phone out of your pocket, I'm going to make you eat it."

"So we're.."

"Tara and the girls have been stock piling baby stuff for us for months, just in case. We're taking our babies home with us."

Tears welled in his eyes and he kissed me roughly. When he pulled away, I saw a smirk paying on Chibs' lips. The doctor came in, causing Happy to sit back down.

"Alright, grampa I need you over on the left. Grab her hand and help coach her. You obviously are acquainted with child birth. Help dad, he looks like he's going to throw up."

I let out a hysterical laugh through another contraction. The doctor smiled at me and Chibs took my hand. A few nurses came in and one was laughing.

"Savannah, you have every member of the Sons of Anarchy outside. Your brother is pacing back and forth ripping his hair out."

"Good. You have no idea how many times I've done the same for him."

"Alright, mom. I need you to push when I tell you to. Breathe through the contraction when you do, okay?"

I nodded as he told me to push and started my breathing. I didn't want to breathe though, I wanted to hold my breath. I could hear Chibs and Happy telling me they loved me and I was doing a good job. The pain was agonizing. I had wanted an epidural, but here I was pushing out two kids with absolutely no pain meds.

I kept pushing every time the doctor told me to. The sweat was falling down my face as it mixed with my tears. Nothing had ever hurt so badly, not even being stabbed in the rib cage. I felt the sensation change, followed by the strong cry of a baby. Happy gripped my hand tight, as the doctor picked up a baby so I could see.

"Baby boy."

A huge smile spread across Happy's face, as the nurse handed him our son. I felt another contraction hit, but my eyes were glued on him. He was staring down at the small infant in his arms. I could see the whole world shifting as he did. The nurse led him over to the table so she could get vitals as another contraction hit.

"It's alright, Lass. You're almost there. First one's the hard one."

I nodded and pushed when the doctor asked me to. Just three more pushes, and I heard another cry. Happy returned to my side as the doctor held up the second child.

"Baby Girl."

This time, the nurse carried the baby right over to the table, but came back with the boy for me. She placed him in my arms as the nurses started cleaning me up. I knew I was still far from done, but having him in my arms made it all worth it.

"He's beautiful, Lass."

"Yeah. He is."

I cried as I held him. He had calmed right down as soon as he was in my arms. He had big, dark eyes that looked right into my soul. He had his fathers eyes, through and through. I looked over to the sound of my daughter screaming her lungs out. She was punching and fighting at everyone that touched her. Once they were done, they handed her off to Happy and she calmed down.

"Looks like she's got her ma's temper." Chibs laughed.

"Do you want to hold him?"

His face lit up as he took him from me.

"Hey there little lad. I'm your pop. I'm gonna teach ya how to fix a bike cause your da is rubbish at it."

I laughed as I watched them. I looked back over at Happy and he handed me our daughter. She started grumping as soon as she left her fathers arms. I cooed at her and touched her light hair. She looked up at me with her dark eyes. She looked so much like her father too.

"What should we name them?"

"I didn't even think of names."

I frowned, upset with myself.

"Always wanted a little girl named Anna." Happy mused.

"Seriously? You always wanted a little girl?" I asked.

"Yeah. What about Anna Rose? Wasn't your grandmothers name Rose?"

"Yeah. I like that."

I smiled down at her.

"Anna Rose Lowman."

"What about the wee lad?"

"Jonathan."

"Jax will love it." Chibs smiled.

"Opie for a middle name." Happy stated.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. He meant a lot to everyone, Savannah. And no kid of mine is having Harry for a middle name."

I giggled at him and nodded.

"Anna Rose Lowman and Jonathan Opie Lowman."

"I'm gonna go get Jax. Let ya have a bit as a family."

Chibs handed me Jonathan, so I was cradling both babies. He walked out and Happy sat on the edge of the bed.

"We made it babe."

"Yeah. We did."

"We made some beautiful babies too."

"Yeah, we did."

* * *

After an hour or so, Jax finally burst through the door. Happy kissed my forehead and let me have a few minutes with my brother. He took Happy's spot, sitting next to me.

"How ya feeling sis?"

"Tired as hell."

"I bet. Tara was tired after just one. Do I get to meet my niece and nephew?"

"Of course."

He took the first bundle off me and pulled the blanket down to really see her face.

"That is Anna Rose."

He smiled at me, then back at her.

"Rose."

"Like Grandma. Didn't meet her many times, but she always seemed to adore her grandkids."

"She would have loved to meet these two."

"Trade with me."

He handed Anna back to me and took my son. He smiled at him.

"He looks like Hap."

"Yeah he does. Meet Jonathan Opie Lowman."

He looked at me as tears welled up in his eyes.

"The spelling is a little different, but I'd like to think that John would have loved me like his own."

"Yeah. He would have. Opie would have loved them too."

Jax leaned over and kissed my forehead. He had tears running down his cheeks, but the smile was taking over his whole face.

"They're beautiful, Savannah. I can't wait for Abel, Thomas and Kate to meet them."

"Me too, Jax."

He looked back at Jon again before looking at me.

"You're keeping them, right?"

"Yes, Jax. I'm never letting them go."

 


	43. Bulletproof

The first two weeks were the roughest. Happy never left my side though. He let me sleep as much as possible and didn't let me change a single diaper. Jon was mommies little boy but Anna only was happy when her daddy was there. They both had so much personality for how little they were.

I was tired, but I was happy.

I still had that nagging voice in the back of my head that Gemma was going to show up. I didn't say anything to Happy, because I didn't want him to worry too. After a while, I made myself just forget about it.

Happy and I both knew it was time for him to go back to work. He helped me get the twins ready, then he left out for work. Tara was going to check on me later when she brought the kids by to meet Jon and Anna. It was the first time I was going to be alone, but I was ready for it.

After a feeding, I got both of them to fall asleep. They slept better together, so I laid them both in the crib with the video monitor on. I walked out into the living room, ready to drink some coffee and get a breather. I froze dead when I saw someone sitting on my couch.

"Hey there, sweetheart."

"Gemma. What are you doing here?"

"Heard you had the kids. Was a little hurt I wasn't invited to the hospital."

She had a pistol in her hand that she pointed at me. She motioned for the chair across from her, so I walked over and sat down.

"Figured you would have someone here right away, but when no one pulled in I figured now was a good time to talk."

Her voice was dripping with venom.

"What is it that you want to talk about then, Gemma?"

"Can't even call me mom?"

"Didn't ever really call you mom much. Especially not after you tried to kill Tara in cold blood."

"Yeah, I generally lose my temper when anyone gets in the way of my grand babies."

"Is that what this is now?"

"You guessed right."

I shift in my seat, still uncomfortable from the birth.

"I have an appointment in an hour. They're going to wonder where I am."

"Good, then I have an hour to do what I need to."

I huffed out a sigh.

"What are you going to do? Shoot me and take the kids? The club will find you."

"Maybe. Get up. Show me my grand babies."

She pointed the gun down the hallway and I got up. She pushed the gun into my back as we walked into the bedroom. She walked over to the crib, still pointing the gun at me. They were sleeping peacefully. I felt my heart race as I tried to figure out what she was going to do. I knew she wouldn't hurt them, but she would kill me.

"They look like Hap."

"Act like him too."

"Good, don't need them acting like a little bitch like their momma."

I grit my teeth, knowing that now wasn't the time to snap back at her.

"I think we're gonna pack them up and go for a little ride. Let's get them in the car seats, then we can go."

"You're not taking my babies, Gemma."

"No, I'm taking all three of you."

I carefully put the twins in their car seats while Gemma still had the gun trained on me. I tucked them in, wanting to waste some time looking at them. I had no idea what Gemma was going to do.

"Alright, momzilla. Stand up and grab the kids. We're heading to the car."

"No."

"What?"

"Just do what you have to do, Gemma. I'm not going anywhere with you. You aren't taking the kids."

"Did you forget that I'm the one with a gun in my hand?"

"No. Gemma. I didn't. But I'm tired. I'm tired of being afraid and tired of wondering where the hell you're going to pop up."

"It's your own fault." She snapped.

"You know, I almost gave them up for adoption. I had a few families that I was looking at to take them."

"You would let-"

"Yes. I would do anything possible to make them safe! If that meant sending them out of this damn town, then yes!"

"Why the hell didn't you then?"

"I deserved to be happy! I deserve to have a family! You and Clay NEVER did that for me! I was a mistake and then I was a pawn. You have continuously used me and everyone around you. You tossed away your happiness. Let me have mine!"

I had tears streaming down my face, finally letting out all the pent up anger and frustration I had been holding in for so long. Gemma had anger across her face, but she finally lowered the gun.

"I thought sending you away would be the right thing, Savannah."

"Right thing for who?"

She huffed out a sigh and sat down in the chair we put in our bedroom.

"Suppose the club wants me dead."

"I don't know. I don't ask questions."

"Do you want me dead?"

"I want you out of my life. I want you to go and forget that the club even exists. It isn't your club and this isn't your family anymore."

"My life is nothing-"

"You're never going to see your grandkids again. What are you going to do? Kill me and take them? It's hard enough for someone to run with one kid, let alone two newborns. And doing anything to piss Happy Lowman off is not something I would suggest."

He sighed, looking defeated.

"You're right. Jax is never going to let me go. Not now that he knows everything."

"No. Probably not."

I sat down on the bed, exhausted. Anna started fussing in her car seat so I took her out.

"Can.. can I at least see them before Jax gets here? You can call him."

"Yeah. But give me the gun."

She handed it over to me and I handed her the small girl.

"Anna Rose."

"That's a beautiful name."

"Was Hap's idea."

"Doesn't surprise me. He always struck me as someone who cared more than he let on."

I picked up Jonathan and sat on the bed with him. I figured he was hungry so I pulled my top down to let him eat. Out of the two, he was the better eater. He would eat then be done with it. Anna liked to fight with me and then keep going back for more.

"I always wished I could have breast fed you three."

"Heart condition, right?"

"Yeah. Pregnancy was hard enough on my body."

Jonathan was done so I went to trade with Gemma. I handed her Jonathan and quickly scooped up Anna, letting her eat as well.

"Jonathan Opie."

"Strong name. They both would have loved these kids."

"Jax said the same thing."

"You gonna call him?"

"I will in a bit."

"Don't you have that appointment?"

"I lied. Tara is coming over this afternoon, so Abel, Thomas and Kate can meet the twins."

"I doubt she will let me near them."

"You tried to kill her, Gemma."

"I didn't say she was wrong."

We sat in silence as Anna ate and Jon fell asleep on Gemma. I sent a text out to Jax explaining that Gemma was here and ready to turn herself in. A few minutes later, I heard the bikes pull into the driveway. I heard quick footsteps as Jax and Happy came flying in. I put my finger up to my lips, knowing that both babies were asleep.

"You okay, sis?"

I nodded at Jax and set Anna down into the crib. Gemma was standing behind me as she handed off Jon. They curled up together in the crib as we all quietly left. We got out into the living room and Jax pulled his gun out.

"Oh, what are you going to do? Kill me right here?"

Jax glared at her and he kept the gun trained on her head.

"You tried to kill my wife. You tried to get my sister locked up. You killed my father."

"None of those are false. Just.. please let me see the kids before I go. I promise I'll just see them then go wherever you want me to."

Jax was shaking, he was so mad. I reached forward and touched his arm, gently pulling it down. He looked at me and the torment I saw in his soul, broke my heart.

"Jax. Come talk to me for a little while. Happy will stay with her."

He looked over at Happy and lowered his arms.

"If she even moves, blow her brains out Hap."

Happy nodded and kept his eyes trained on Gemma. I led Jax out into the back yard and made him sit down.

"You gotta let go of that hate, Jax."

"I can't. She tried to take everything from me. She almost did. She almost killed Tara. She killed my father. Christ, she wanted you dead too."

"I know, Jax. I do. But we gotta let this go."

"No. She has to die."

"Then I'll do it."

He stared at me, with his eyes wide.

"No. I can't let you."

"Jax, I'm the only one of us that's killed a parent. You have a chance at not being broken."

"It was just Clay."

"He was still my father. I hated him too, but I had to let it go. I didn't grow up with him, but I had this huge idea that he was this great man that was just trying to protect me. Come to find out, he was just protecting himself."

He huffed out a sigh and ran his hands over his face.

"It isn't a club decision, though they would back us on whatever we decide."

"You don't think she should die?"

"I think she has enough to feel guilty for. She's never going to live a happy life. She will either drink or smoke herself to death knowing that she killed any chance at having the family she so desperately wanted."

He stared at me, thinking.

"I don't want you pulling the trigger, Jax. So we either let her go or I do it. Those are your two options."

"Sounds like you're picking some stuff up from me."

"A little. I mean, I used to be the nice one."

He smirked at me and pulled me up into a hug. He kissed the top of my head

"You're still the nice one, Savannah."

* * *

After a tense few hours, we all sent Gemma on her way. She knew that if she ever came back she would never live to see another day. She told us that she was going to take off with Nero and try to start a new life away from all the underground shit.

Tara had been hysterical at first, rightfully so. Jax talked to her for a bit and let the kids say goodbye. The only one that remembered her was Abel, and he didn't want much to do with her. He kept saying that she hurt his mom and he would protect his mom forever. Sounded just like Jax.

I was siting outside, alone. I needed a breather and a few minutes by myself. Eventually, Tara came out to join me. I could hear Thomas and Abel giggling inside and it brought a smile to my face. Tara plopped down next to me.

"So, she's gone?"

"Yeah. No more hiding or being afraid. No more death threats or drive by shootings. It's all over."

Tara let out a shaky breath and she reached out and took my hand. We both had tears welled up in our eyes. So many times, we thought of leaving and running away from everything. We pushed each other away and hid in fear. But we made it. We made it to where we needed to be.

Jax, Hap and the kids all came out to join us. We sat outside and laughed, finally free of all the bullshit that our parents had wrapped us up in. We had gone from pistol wielding criminals to a family united by our love for each other.

I looked at Happy and saw a man that I had never seen before. He was happy and satisfied where he was. He loved his children more than life itself. Jax was the same way. He wasn't tormented by his past anymore, he was just surrounded by his future. We all were. I wasn't sure how long it would last, but we were happy.

I remembered when Gemma told me I needed to be bulletproof. That wasn't the case though. We needed to be able to take the hits and keep on moving. We couldn't avoid the hurt, but together we could withstand all of it.


End file.
